‘You assume correctly. However...’
But Raul had moved on.
‘Allegra is going to look into the hiring of a nanny. It would appear good ones need to be secured early.’
That was an easy one, and Lydia dismissed it with a shake of her head. ‘I shan’t be hiring a nanny.’
It really annoyed her when Allegra wrote something down, and then she asked Lydia a question in a rich Italian purr.
‘Will you want to sit in on the preliminary interviews, or would you prefer I do that and then we discuss the shortlist?’
‘I just said...’ Lydia was responding to Allegra as if she was speaking to a three-year-old with a hearing problem ‘...that I don’t require a nanny.’
‘We heard you the first time,’ Raul said. ‘But I need a nanny for the times when the baby is to be with me.’
Lydia, who had been glaring at Allegra, snapped her gaze back to Raul. ‘Could we speak alone, please?’
‘Of course.’
Allegra stood and walked out. Lydia sat with her back ramrod-straight and said nothing until the door behind her had closed.
Oh, but when it closed!
‘You’ve been busy.’
‘Yes,’ Raul agreed.
And as she sat there she gleaned the fact that while she’d been eating alone last night Raul had been out to dinner, with Allegra, discussing her baby’s future.
Of course he had.
Raul’s time was heavily in demand, and a lot of his day-to-day stuff was delegated.
‘Do you really think I have time to be wandering around looking at apartments for someone I spent a weekend with three months ago?’
Lydia opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it.
‘You wanted businesslike, and you have made it clear you don’t want to be in Venice for long, so I discussed things with my assistant...’
‘Over dinner,’ Lydia sneered. ‘Have you slept with her?’
Oh, she hated it that she’d asked that—she really did.
‘What the hell does that have to do with anything?’
And she hated his exasperated inevitable answer.
‘Yes, but that was ages ago.’
And then he asked Lydia again.
‘What the hell does that have to do with this?’
And she still couldn’t answer, because really it should have nothing to do with this—yet it did.
‘Lydia, I have a past—quite a colourful one. You really should choose your one-night stands more carefully.’
‘I just don’t like the fact...’
‘Go on,’ Raul said when she faltered, and he leant back in his chair to hear what she had to say.
‘I don’t like the fact that someone you’ve been intimate with is discussing my future and my baby.’
‘Our baby.’
‘Yes, but...’ She tried to get back to the nanny point, because she was starting to sound jealous.
Which she was.
And irrational.
Which she wasn’t.
Was she?
‘Lydia, Allegra is very happily married.’ He was annoyingly patient in his explanation. ‘In fact I’ve already told you that. If you really think she’s making bedroom eyes at me and we’re still at it, then that’s your issue. But we’re not. I don’t like cheats. Now, can we bring it back to business?’
‘It is a baby.’
‘Che cazzo!’ he cursed.
‘Don’t swear.’
‘The baby can’t hear me!’ Raul said.
‘You discuss it so clinically.’
‘You told me yourself to keep it businesslike. Come on, Lydia, tell me what you want. You’ve had three months to get used to the idea. I’ve had less than twenty-four hours. Tell me what you’ve decided and we can work from there.’
And she tried to tell him just that.
‘There’s no need for me to have an apartment here. Of course we’ll visit often...’
A smile—a black smile—played on his lips, and she sat back as Raul chose his words.
‘And where would you stay?’ Raul asked. ‘The guest wing?’
As she nodded that dark smile faded.
‘Lydia, I don’t want my ex, or rather one of my one-night stands, as a regular guest in my home. I don’t want someone who has already said that she disapproves of me dictating the relationship I have with my child.’
‘And I don’t want my baby to be raised by a nanny.’
‘Tough.’ Raul shrugged. ‘Do you really see me getting up at night to feed it and...’ He pulled a face.
And, no, she could not see it.
‘Raul, I haven’t made any plans...’
‘Oh, I would say you set your plans in motion a long time ago,’ Raul said. ‘And I would suggest that when you “forgot” to take your Pill you thought you’d chosen carefully indeed.’
She frowned.
He enlightened her.
‘I said I don’t like children, and you decided I’d make a very good absentee father...’
‘No!’ she shouted.
‘Correct,’ Raul said. ‘Because I shan’t just be a chequebook father—I’m going to be very hands-on.’
He dismissed her then—she knew it from the wave of his hand.
‘We’re getting nowhere. We can try again tomorrow if you would like?’
‘You’re going to schedule me in again?’ Lydia asked in a sarcastic tone.
Raul ignored it but answered her question. ‘If you want me to.’
And that was how they would be, Lydia was starting to realise.
Parents, but apart.
So, so far apart that she could not see across the void.
‘Do you want to see the apartment?’ Raul checked before he closed this disaster of a meeting. ‘We should try to get as much as possible done while you’re still here.’
‘Fine.’
Raul heard the resignation in her voice and loathed it.
They had ended up fighting, and he knew he tended to win fights.
‘I think perhaps we should do this through lawyers,’ Raul admitted.
He didn’t want to fight Lydia. He just wanted the details sorted. He would leave it to them and then sign.
‘Raul, I can’t afford a lawyer.’
It was a very difficult admission for someone like Lydia to make.
But he just sat there and leant back in his chair, and wondered just who she took him for.
‘We both know that’s not true.’
‘Seriously, Raul. I know I live in a castle...’
‘Lydia,’ he told her as he sat there, and let her know himself how to nail him to the wall. ‘Call a lawyer—the best you can find—and tell him my surname.’
‘I can’t afford to.’
‘Try it,’ he said. ‘Tell them whose baby you’re having and I guarantee they won’t give a damn as to the current state of your finances. They’ll probably offer to hold your hand in the delivery room.’
She stood.
‘For their cut, of course,’ Raul added.
He watched as she walked out, and usually he would be feeling delighted that a meeting had concluded early and he could get on to the next thing.
Yet she was the next thing.
When there was so much he should be getting on with Raul sat there thinking. Not even about the baby, but about her.
All roads did not lead to Rome.
But to Lydia.
* * *
Instead of thinking about the baby, which surely she should be, all Lydia could think about was Raul.
He was trying to get this sorted for both of them as best he could, Lydia thought as the realtor let both herself and Alle
gra into the apartment.
It was stunning, with crimson walls and drapes and a view of the canal.
In fact from one of the bedrooms she could see the balcony of his home.
‘I missed that when I came this morning,’ Allegra said when she looked to where Lydia’s gaze fell, and again she wrote something down.
‘Sorry?’ Lydia checked.
‘I’m sure you don’t need a view of Daddy’s home from yours! You’ll want your own life...’
Allegra was trying too, Lydia realised.
Lydia was so used to everyone being the enemy.
No one really was here.
They were trying to do this without lawyers, and she was fighting them at every point, and Lydia knew why.
It wasn’t the Venice apartment she wanted, nor the monthly payment dump in her account, or flights on his jet for time with Daddy.
It was Raul.
And for a tiny moment she had considered that desire attainable.
That was why she still held on to the statue—because when she’d opened up that box and looked down from the balcony for a second she’d thought it was possible that someone might actually love her.
Allegra was talking with the realtor, and then she excused herself to take a call on her phone.
From her affectionate tone, it was her husband, and from what Lydia could glean they were discussing what they would have tonight for dinner.
She almost smiled as she recalled for the millionth time one of her and Raul’s conversations.
Only she couldn’t smile.
Because if they were a couple she’d be texting him now, or telling him tonight, and they’d be laughing at their own private joke.
But they weren’t a couple.
And in that same conversation he’d told her he never wanted marriage.
She looked out to the canal. She was back where she had longed to be, but she ached at the coolness between them.
Lydia didn’t just want the parenting side of things to be sorted.
There was a reason she was resisting everything he suggested and she faced the lonely truth—
Lydia wanted Raul, herself and the baby to be a family.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
‘HERE.’
Loretta set down Lydia’s dinner. Homemade fettuccini and a creamy sauce that smelt delicious. Finally Lydia’s appetite was back.
‘It looks lovely.’
‘It is nice to have someone to cook for.’ Loretta accepted the compliment. ‘This is a recipe from Casta. I haven’t made it for years.’
‘You’re from Casta?’
‘I worked for Raul’s father, and now for him. I know who I prefer.’
Lydia didn’t respond at first. She assumed from that that Raul worked her too hard.
‘I guess Raul must be demanding.’
‘Raul?’ Loretta laughed. ‘No. I love working for him. It’s been nearly ten years now, and I still pinch myself to make sure that it’s true. I worked in his father’s bar for more years than I care to count. Then Raul brought me to Rome and I used to take care of the apartments, and then I ran the housekeeping side of his first hotel.’ She gave Lydia a smile. ‘I’ll leave you to eat.’
‘Thank you,’ Lydia said. Only she didn’t want to be left to eat—she wanted to chat with Loretta, and she wanted to know more about Raul, but it wasn’t her place to ask.
What was her place?
Lydia didn’t know.
And so she ate her dinner and had a bath, and then pulled on summer pyjamas which were short and a bit too tight, then lay in her bed in the guest room while no doubt Raul headed out.
Perhaps for another dinner to discuss her and the baby.
His latest set of problems.
And all because he wanted to get back at Bastiano!
Lydia didn’t have the energy to think about that right now.
She was hurting.
They had to talk.
And, no, she didn’t care if she was running outside his schedule and it wasn’t her appointed hour.
They were going to discuss this.
Properly.
Even the difficult things, like nannies and visiting times.
She had no idea where in the house he was.
But she’d find him.
And if he wasn’t at home...
She would wait.
* * *
Raul was actually in his office.
He looked up as Allegra stopped by on her way home and told him what she had organised.
‘I’ve arranged two other apartments for Lydia to look at tomorrow, and there’s a courier coming tomorrow at nine.’
‘A courier?’
‘You said you had a package you wanted hand-delivered to Casta?’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘How did you find her in the end?’ Allegra asked as she pulled on her coat. ‘I think I visited maybe fifty castles and rang a hundred more.’
‘She found me,’ Raul replied.
Only that wasn’t quite true. But he didn’t run everything by Allegra, and he certainly wasn’t going to discuss the meeting he’d had with Bastiano with her.
With anyone.
‘Anything else?’ Allegra checked.
‘I don’t think so.’
She was gone.
And Raul didn’t blame her a bit.
Last night she had worked till close to midnight, trying to have things as prepared as possible for today.
And tonight he had kept her again past ten.
‘Raul?’
He looked up and there was Allegra, still hovering at the door.
‘Yes?’
‘I just thought I should let you know I’m also looking for a nanny.’
‘Maybe hold back on that till Lydia has got more used to the idea.’
‘I meant for me.’
‘Oh,’ Raul said, though what he really wanted to say was merda.
What the hell was going on with everyone?
‘You’re supposed to say congratulations.’
Raul rolled his eyes.
‘I’m going to be running a crèche—I can see it now. Go home.’
‘I am going. Seriously, though, it’s going to be difficult finding a nanny who works to your hours. I don’t want Lydia to explode in temper, but we really do need to start making some enquiries.’
‘Leave it for now,’ he said, and as Allegra walked off he wearily remembered his manners and congratulated her on the news of her baby. ‘Complimenti!’
Allegra just laughed as she walked out.
She knew he didn’t mean it!
And her care factor?
Zero.
She really was a most brilliant PA.
But Allegra was wrong about one thing, Raul thought—Lydia didn’t explode.
She imploded rather than let out the rage she held on to.
He’d seen it himself.
Whereas he...
Raul poured cognac and it was well earned—especially when he recalled how he had held on to his temper when Bastiano had insulted his mother.
But, no, that wasn’t right.
It had been the truth that had held him back.
Bastiano had thought it was love between them.
Yet he had been just seventeen.
His mother had been in her mid-thirties.
What a mess!
Raul went into his drawer and took out the ring and went to package it for the courier.
Usually, of course, his parcels and such were left for others to deal with.
Not on this occasion.
This was beyond personal, Raul thought as he loo
ked at the ring.
It was like holding a ghost—and one he didn’t even know.
Bastiano was an orphan.
Had this been his mother’s ring?
What the hell had his mother been doing, taking such a ring from a teenager?
A kid, really.
They had been children then.
Sure, they had thought they were adults, but what the hell...?
His mind leapt to the defence of the seventeen-year-old Lydia.
He was furious at how she’d been treated by adults who should have known better.
And now he sat trying to do the hardest thing in his life—afford Bastiano the same feelings.
‘Raul!’
This time it wasn’t Allegra.
Instead a very pale Lydia stood in the doorway, in short pyjamas.
He could see all the tiny changes in her. Her hips were rounder, her breasts fuller, but he wasn’t really noticing them in reference to her being pregnant.
Her hips were round and her breasts were full and she would never, ever, not turn him on.
And how the hell did he keep his distance?
How did he keep removing himself from want?
He saw her gaze descend to the ring he held.
‘Don’t worry.’ He did his best to keep things level and dropped the ring back in the drawer. ‘I wasn’t planning a surprise. It isn’t for you.’
And to her shame, to the detriment of her stupid heart, for a second she had hoped that she might have found someone who would never leave.
Fool!
And when Lydia was angry, when she was hurting, she was ice.
‘Of course it isn’t,’ Lydia said in her most crisp and affected tone, but then it cracked, just a little, and she could hold it in no more. ‘You never cared about me—not for a moment. You were too busy working out how to get to Bastiano...’
‘Merda.’
This time he said it out loud as he realised that she knew.
‘Lydia!’ Raul stood—not in defence, more in horror.
‘Don’t!’ she warned him. ‘Don’t you dare try to justify it.’
‘I’m not. How long have you known?’
‘I get to ask the questions—did you follow me out of that dining room because you were interested in me or because you wanted to find out more about Bastiano?’
Before he could react, she took away the safe answer.
‘And please don’t say both, Raul—at least give me the truth.’
Innocent's Secret Baby (Billionaires & One-Night Heirs, Book #1) Page 15
