I knew, though, that soon we would have to tell Maddie the truth, and that broke my heart. I wasn’t sure how to tell her that her mother was dying. And I felt both guilt and relief that it could wait another day.
Blake left my side for a moment and knelt in front of our son’s grave and placed the football I had given him for Father’s Day over a year ago near his headstone. The act had me wiping at my eyes furiously and pulling Maddie even closer to me. I was happy she was a hugger.
I was happy about a lot of things lately, mainly the two people closest to me. We still had our kinks to work out, but I couldn’t remember when I had been happier. I was working less and at home more. The same could be said for Blake. Our nights were filled with family activities and laughter, a lot which was at Blake’s expense. It was nice to have another person in the house that also found Blake’s tastes and habits odd. Maddie and I giggled at them together frequently.
My heart was slowly starting to heal. I knew I would never get over the death of my son. I don’t think it is something you’re supposed to get over, but Blake and Maddie added patches to my heart that made me feel mostly whole.
I could see Blake’s shoulders shake as he knelt at the grave, and it broke my heart. We had talked more about Carter lately than we ever had. I wished we could have been more open with each other earlier. It would have been beneficial for both of us. I didn’t realize how deeply Blake’s hurt ran and how scared he was of losing me. I loved laying in his arms at night and talking to him. He actually talked. And I loved even more waking up in his arms. He had somehow magically gotten over the whole can’t-sleep-close-to-another thing. I guess sleeping apart for those few months was not easy on him and he missed me.
I moved forward with Maddie next to me and rested my hand on Blake’s shoulder. He reached up and held it firmly with his own. I looked up to the sun-filled azure sky and, for the first time in months, felt like maybe God was there.
Blake stood after several minutes and gathered both Maddie and me in his strong arms. I loved the feel of us all together.
“Dad, I can’t breathe,” Maddie said after a long moment.
Blake chuckled and released us. He looked at me and smiled warmly, wiping the tears from my cheeks. We then took our leave hand in hand back to our car. Blake opened my door for me. He was taking tips from Maddie. She had taken it upon herself to give him relationship advice.
I still grinned at him every time and he still played it off like it was no big deal.
Our drive to the Richters’ house was mostly silent. Maddie was spending the day with Katie.
“Love you,” Maddie called out to us as she exited the vehicle.
“Love you,” Blake and I both responded in unison.
We watched her until she was securely in their home.
“I suppose you have to get back to work?” I said to Blake as he backed out of the Richters’ driveway.
“Unfortunately, but first I have something to show you.”
“Is this a private showing?” I somewhat teased.
He grinned seductively at me. “I wish. But I would be up for a private showing later tonight.”
“It’s a date.”
He reached over and smoothed my hair. “I can’t wait.”
Me either, I thought to myself. I was thankful that one kink had worked itself out quite nicely.
Blake pulled into our drive and stopped near the house instead of pulling into the garage. “Wait here for a minute,” he instructed me.
“Okay.” I smiled, wondering what all the mystery was about. I watched him walk into the house and then waited for the minute he instructed me to. He came back out looking pleased, and he opened my door for me and held out his hand. I took it and he led the way back into the house.
I couldn’t see anything different as we walked through the mud room and then into the great room. Then Blake turned me toward the fireplace. I gasped and held my hand to my mouth. Tears flooded my eyes as I looked up at a grinning Blake. I walked slowly toward the painting of the woman at a crossroads in her life. The woman that had me mesmerized and that had frequented my dreams. Margaret Mackenzie had become a hero in my life. I had thought of her and her choices often, her courageous and bold choice to turn toward the cold, unforgiving water and to take a chance on love and even God. And now here she hung above my fireplace.
“Oh, Blake, I love it! Thank you,” I said as I held him tight. “How did you manage this?”
“I had some help from your dad this morning.”
I loved that those two were somewhat getting along. My dad was still not happy that Blake wouldn’t come to church or Sunday dinner, but they were at least talking.
“It’s so expensive.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said lightheartedly, “but I decided a Harley could wait.”
I pulled back from him and looked up into those eyes of his. “You gave up your motorcycle for the painting?”
“For the painting and the retainer fee for an adoption lawyer.” He said it like it was no big deal.
I felt like my heart had burst for a moment as this massive surge of love pumped through it. “Blake, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I was almost afraid to hear the answer.
He lovingly kissed my forehead and lingered there. The warmth of his lips had me feeling tingly. His lips left my skin and he smiled back down on me. “Jess, will you adopt a baby with me?”
My words caught in my throat as I tried to answer, and I realized for the first time that my mother was right. I could see forever in his eyes. The emotion only allowed me to nod.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
I nodded again in the affirmative.
“I set up an appointment for next week.”
I finally found my words. “I love you.”
“I sure hope so,” he teased. “I almost cried when the Harley dealer called with an amazing deal that I had to turn down.”
“How ever will I make that up to you?”
He pulled me flush against him, “For starters, I think I’m going to be late to work.”
-Preview-
Taylor Lynne
The Women of Merryton – Book Two
Chapter One
With every heavy box I lifted and carried into the quaint two-story rental home, I asked myself, why in the world did I move back here? Twice I had sworn I never would, and twice, because of him, I found myself back in my hometown of Merryton, Colorado. It sounded like such a happy, wonderful, merry place. And I suppose for many it was just that. Sure, the scenery was second to none. Most people would be envious to live nestled among the beautiful Rocky Mountains, but for me the beautiful landscape just masked the pain of all that was lost there.
I set down the small, but heavy, box of books near the built-in bookcase in the living room. I stretched my back and lamented at the late arrival of the movers. I probably should have just waited for them to arrive, but if I didn’t move I would only think, and I didn’t want to think. If I thought too much I would run back to what I considered my real home in Birmingham, Alabama. I would run back to Harry and Grace, the most wonderful grandparents and people on the planet. But I knew I couldn’t, because the most important person came with me. And she? She wanted to stay.
I guess after all these years it was only right for Ashley to get to know her dad in ways other than phone calls and brief sporadic visits over the last fourteen years. Now, at sixteen, she was practically a woman and very close to leaving home herself. That thought pierced my heart and made my eyes well up with tears. I didn’t know what I was going to do in two years when she graduated from high school. I’ve teased that I’ll go with her and get that master’s degree I’ve always talked about, but for some reason she always rolled her eyes at the thought. I guess living in a dorm room with your mom would be very uncool. I compromised that I would just buy a house near the campus of her choosing, but it was still a no-go with her.
I guess this summer I would get a little
taste of what I had in store for me as I agreed to let Ashley spend most of her time at her dad’s home watching her nine-year-old half-sister, Emmy, while he ran his family medicine practice. I still don’t know why I agreed to it. Easton, in my estimation, could have made a greater effort to get to know our daughter over the last several years, but he was too busy with his newest ex-wife, Kathryn, and their daughter. I would like to say I wasn’t still bitter about it, but that would be a lie. It’s not that I dwelt on it often, but when the man you love leaves you for another woman, it’s a hard pill to swallow. And once you do swallow it, it’s hard to keep down. Especially when the new woman makes it difficult for your daughter to be part of his life. That’s what killed me the most. Ashley deserved to be part of her dad’s life. I guess I just thought he would have fought harder to make sure that happened.
Even though I tried not to think of it, at least not his part in it, I still remember the day she was born and how undeniably happy he was. I still remember him, through his tears, kissing my forehead and thanking me for making him a daddy and telling me how much he loved me and how much he loved our Ashley Lauren. I had no idea it would all be over two years later, after being married for seven years.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and walked back out to the large semi-trailer parked in front of the house that held all of Ashley’s and my belongings. I reminded myself to keep moving and to quit thinking about the past. But then my past showed up, at least part of it. Easton wasn’t the only ghost this town held for me.
Easton rolled down the passenger window where his daughter Emmy (at least I assumed it was his daughter, she looked like her mother) sat in his large, black Ford truck. “Taylor, you made it.”
I looked past his young, wary daughter to see him smiling tentatively at me. I hadn’t seen him in a few years, but from what I could tell, time had been good to Dr. Easton Cole. He was still handsome at forty-four. He still had some golden blonde hair left, but his hair was darkening and graying slightly above his ears and on the sides. And maybe his hairline was a tad off from where it used to be, but he still looked like Easton.
“We drove in late last night,” I called back. We had stayed in a hotel.
“Oh, I thought you would have called.”
I don’t know why he would think that, so I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to the myriad of boxes that waited for me. I grabbed the nearest one that I thought I could carry and turned to walk it back down the ramp to the house. It was there I found that my ex-husband had parked across the street and he and his daughter were walking my way. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I knew moving back here meant I would have to face him and deal with him again, but I wasn’t sure I was really ready for it. Honestly, I was great at not facing my problems. I was great at running away from him; but there he was, and with him came his little girl that he apparently loved more than my little girl. Or maybe he had just loved her mother more than he loved me. You know what? It didn’t matter. I needed to quit thinking about it.
“Here, let me carry that for you,” he said as he hurried over to me.
“I got it.” I kept on walking toward the house.
He followed alongside me, looking frustrated. I remembered that look. He often gave it to me during our last year of marriage. This was a bad idea. I didn’t want to remember all of these things, or deal with them.
I at least let him hold the door open for me. He smiled at me as I walked in. He and his daughter followed. I set the box marked “dining room” down accordingly in the dining room. I had no choice then but to look at the father and daughter. I had to admit she was darling. She was pretty like her mother, right down to the long, lanky legs. She had long brown hair that needed to be combed and she had brown eyes like Ashley and Easton that were looking at me with interest.
Easton looked between the two of us. “Emmy,” he said as he looked adoringly at his daughter. “This is Ms.—” He caught his faux pas.
We all shared the same last name. I kept Cole so Ashley and I would have the same last name, and for some other reasons. Yes, I had issues.
I held out my hand to her to cover up Easton’s mishap. “You can call me Taylor.”
She slowly reached out her hand to me. I took it and squeezed it gently and smiled at her. After all, it wasn’t her fault her daddy chose her mommy over me, and her over Ashley. She smiled briefly and then turned into her daddy. She seemed awfully shy. Easton put a reassuring arm around her and smiled at me.
“I suppose you’re here to see Ashley. She just ran to the grocery store for me.”
“I can’t believe she drives already,” he responded.
“Yep,” was all I could think of to say. I mean, it was weird for me that my baby girl was that old, but she’d had her permit and license for well over a year now, so I was used to it. And as he hadn’t seen her since she was thirteen … I was a little touchy about it.
“Well,” he said nervously, “we can help you bring in boxes.”
“No. I hired movers, they should be here soon.”
“Oh.” He looked around the old house that was newly renovated. “So, you still like older homes?” he asked.
“Yep.” I guess that was going to be my word for the day. Not the most intelligent of words, but definitely Southern and definitely ex-husband worthy.
I decided ignoring him was probably the best way to go at this juncture. “So Emmy, what grade are you going into after this summer?”
She looked up from her daddy’s side. “Fourth,” she said ever so quietly.
“That’s a fun grade. Do you like school?”
She looked uncomfortable. “It’s okay.”
Her answered surprised me. Ashley loved everything about school, from the academics to the sports to the social. She embraced it all. It was one of the reasons I was so surprised when she said she wanted to move here. I thought for sure she wouldn’t want to leave her friends and school behind. She was quite the popular girl.
“Well, tell me your favorite thing about school.”
“I love to read.”
I smiled kindly at her. “Me, too. What’s your favorite book?”
She thought for a moment. “Bridge to Terabithia.”
I was surprised by that answer. It was an awfully heavy book to be a favorite for such a young girl. I looked up at Easton to confirm her choice. I was expecting Harry Potter, or maybe even The Chronicles of Narnia.
Easton nodded his head yes, but he looked concerned. I wondered why, and then remembered it wasn’t my problem.
“Well, Ashley has lots of books and she likes to read, too. I’m sure she would be happy to bring some over with her when she watches you.”
She didn’t respond other than to turn back into her daddy. I got the feeling something wasn’t quite right, other than the fact that her parents were recently divorced and her mom ran off with her personal trainer. I felt great sympathy for her. At least Ashley never remembered us being married. It had just been her and me since she was two, and even before that it was a whole lot of me and her. That’s what you get when you marry a doctor and have a baby while he’s doing his residency and then starting up his own practice. You get a whole lot of lonely days and nights. Again, I’m not thinking about it.
Thankfully the connecting piece in our lives was back and, even better, she was back with food. I was starving. From the window I watched my beauty walking up the sidewalk burdened with grocery bags, looking as lovely as ever. She was naturally beautiful, with her olive skin and dark brown hair and big, innocent, brown eyes (that looked a lot like Emmy’s). To me she was perfection.
“Momma,” she called out, Southern accent and all, as she came through the front door.
Both her dad I and walked toward her.
Ashley looked surprised by our company. “Dad …”
He stood a few feet away from her still holding onto Emmy as he looked her over.
I went to her and took the bags from her hand.
<
br /> “Ashley,” he muttered. “How are you?”
It was kind of a lame thing to say to your daughter that you hadn’t seen in forever, but who was I to judge?
I stayed to watch the interaction between the two.
She smiled. “Fabulous.”
Oh, how I loved that kid. She was always happy.
Easton looked relieved and smiled in return. I guess he didn’t know what to expect from her. She could have easily hated him, but that wasn’t her. Not that she considered him the best dad ever, far from it, in fact, but Ashley never hated anyone and this was her decision to be here. She wanted to know her father and her sister. And I wouldn’t deny her that opportunity even though it meant I was going to have to finally deal with my past and issues.
“So Ashley, this is Emmy—your sister.”
It was so weird for me that Ashley had a sibling that wasn’t mine. I knew it was weird for Ashley too, and it was sad they hadn’t met before now, but Kathryn, Easton’s ex-wife number two, didn’t want Ashley around.
Emmy cautiously looked up and Ashley grinned at her. Realizing her hesitation, Ashley approached her and knelt in front of her, hugging her. Emmy didn’t naturally or quickly reciprocate, but after a moment she briefly put her little arms around Ashley.
Easton’s brown eyes beamed at the sight. Then his eyes caught mine and he looked concerned again. I took that as my cue to turn and take the groceries back to the kitchen. It was the perfect cottage kitchen with antique white cabinets, wooden butcher-block countertops, and a farmhouse-style sink. I adored it—at least I would for the next two years. After that I was hightailing it back to the South to my own home that I was currently renting out. This was a temporary situation in which I probably would go temporarily insane.
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