“And you didn’t get to the bottom of that shit?” Beau was fired up now. I don’t know if it was the not knowing that had pissed him off or the fact that the details were still sketchy.
“You didn’t fuck the details out of Carly?” Connor asked crudely. I nearly choked on my beer at his crassness. There was no airs and graces about Connor. Not that I was really surprised.
“No, Beau. I didn’t fuck the answers out of Carly. If she wanted to tell me, if it was something I really needed to know, she would have. I trust her.” Gage was looking awfully pissed off too now.
Part of me wondered if this was what it was really like to have a family. Everyone loves each other, that’s undisputed. They fight and they bitch and argue, but at the end of the day, there’s always someone there who had your back. I wished I had that. My own mother left the country without looking back. I hadn’t heard from her since she walked out the door. Not a text to say she’d arrived. Not an email. Not even a call. I was her only son, her only child, and she’d walked away and didn’t look back. All I could do was hold onto the hope that I’d hear from her soon. That she wouldn’t just forget about me. Seventeen years was pretty hard to forget about, wasn’t it?
Ignoring their petty arguments over who knew what, they all turned to me at once. Feeling suffocated by their scrutiny, I downed the last of my beer before throwing the empty into the fire.
“Is she okay?” Ryan asked, everything suddenly serious.
I couldn’t lie to them. If I lied to them, then Holly wouldn’t get the help she needed. Not to mention I doubt I’d be breathing through anything other than a tube if they ever found out I wasn’t completely honest. “No. She’s not.”
“Fuck!” Connor’s bellow echoed through the night. He sounded like a wounded bull. I guess in many ways, he was.
“What do we do?”
“Be there for her. Ask questions. Don’t push. Listen. Make sure she’s not alone. I don’t know.”
And the truth was, I didn’t know. I didn’t even know the full extent of what had been going on, but I was getting a much clearer picture with each passing day. It was a horrific picture I wish I could unsee, but that didn’t seem to be an option. Just my luck.
“How the fuck do we do that?” Beau asked, agitated. He started pacing back and forth, throwing anything he could get his hands on into the blaze beside him. Sticks, leaves, random stacks of paper. Nothing was safe from his frustration.
Ryan stood and emptied his beer onto the ground. A waste of a perfectly good beer, if you asked me, but I wasn’t about to give him shit about it. “We man up.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, Gage, we have to put Holly first. We need to be whatever the fuck it is that she needs us to be, no matter how uncomfortable. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, it’s ours. If she needs a punching bag, you clench your muscles and teach her how to throw a real punch. If she needs us to kick someone’s ass for her, then we step up and do it.”
“In other words, we protect Holly.”
“Yeah, Connor. We protect Holly. Even if it’s from herself.”
“I can do that,” Connor declared, as he’d found his feet.
Soon they were all standing shoulder to shoulder, committed to the cause.
“Just like Mum always said, Holly’s ours to protect. And it’s up to the four of us to step up like we never have before.”
“Five.”
“What?” They looked at me like I was speaking Swahili. I think somewhere in their solidarity, over-protective caveman way, they’d forgotten I was even there. I got it. I wasn’t part of the family, but shit, it stung. I wanted to help Holly. I wanted to be there. To help keep her safe. To make sure she got everything her heart desired.
“Five of us. I’m not walking away from her. Don’t even think about asking me to.”
“You’re not family.” Fuck, did that sting. Beau might not have a clue how deep his words cut, but they did. And they’d leave an angry red scar for a long time.
“Fuck off, Beau. If Jack wants to help make sure Holly’s safe and happy, then he’s in. The more people she’s got looking out for her, the less likely we are to get another call from a hospital. Or worse. And I, for one, am not going through that shit again.”
“Yeah, I agree. Jack, you’re in.”
Two hours and another couple of beers later, I was pulling my ute into the McIntyre barn and unrolling the swag in the back. I wasn’t drunk, but I was in no state to be driving either. Not that they were going to let me get behind the wheel. After stripping down to my boxers, I slipped under the covers and settled in for the night, strangely feeling more at home than ever before.
The ringing wouldn’t shut up. I wasn’t hungover, but I was tired. Bone weary tired. Groping around my swag for my phone. I couldn’t find it. Eventually it shut up anyway, I didn’t care. Rolling over, I wriggled until I was comfortable and tried to go back to sleep. I had no idea what time it was and no desire to know. Just when I’d settled into a cool spot, the ringing started again.
“For fuck’s sake, would you shut that shit up?” someone grumbled from nearby.
Sitting up, it took a minute for me to remember I’d backed into the McIntyre’s shed and crashed out for the night. No doubt it was Connor who was being a grumpy ass from his apartment not five metres from where I was parked. I found my jeans hanging over the door and yanked them towards me, hoping my phone was in my pocket.
When my fingers clasped around the offending, vibrating thing, it stopped suddenly. Like it was possessed. Like all it wanted to do was wake me up and piss me off. Well, mission accomplished. Rubbing my hands over my face, the stubble on my chin itched. I should probably shave at some point. Checking my phone, I was surprised to see I had eight missed calls. No wonder Connor was pissed. I’d only heard two of them. They were all from Dad.
I was wide awake now. Eight calls before six a.m. was never a good sign. Sitting up, I leant back against the window and dialled.
He answered quickly and full of grumpiness. “Where the hell are you?”
“Morning to you too, Dad.” I shouldn’t have been a smart ass. The moment I said it I knew it. I just couldn’t stop myself. I found it god damn hilarious that today he noticed I wasn’t there and seemed to care, but all the other nights I’d spent asleep in my ute all over the property and not once had he ever said something. Not once had he ever acted worried. But today, today was different.
“Where are you, Jack? You should have been here an hour ago.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked through a yawn.
“The sales. We were leaving at six and you’re not even home yet.”
“You never told me about any sales!” I was racking my brains trying to remember something about sales. I didn’t even know what we were selling. Wait! Were we selling anything or were we buying? It was too early for this.
I heard a toilet flush moments before Connor shot his head around the corner, dangling a coffee mug from his fingers. No wonder the women around here were all about Connor McIntyre. I didn’t even swing that way, yet I could appreciate a fine body if I saw one. And Connor had one fine body. One I was slightly jealous of.
“Coffee?” he mouthed at me, to which I nodded enthusiastically. Perhaps a little too enthusiastically, because the moment my head rocked forward, my stomach heaved.
“Are you even listening, Jack?” Dad was booming now, his angry voice not helping my oncoming headache.
“What, Dad?”
“Just get your ass home. We’re leaving in twenty minutes whether you’ve showered or not.” Before I had the chance to object, he ended the call. Staring at my now lifeless phone, I couldn’t believe how pissed I was. I didn’t have time to be pissed, though. I had to get up, get my shit together, and haul my tired ass home. I knew Dad well enough to know he was driving out in twenty minutes, and more than likely, the stop watch was running.
Jumping out of the back of the ute, I didn’t even bother
to roll up my swag. As I yanked on my jeans, Connor came strolling out, carrying two mugs.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I lied. Nothing was okay. I didn’t want to go to some stupid sale. That shit was boring. Surely there was something else I could do today. Something that would be more productive. Yet at the same time, the idea of spending a couple of hours with Dad, well, that seemed important too. After everything that had been going on with our family lately, maybe spending some time with the old man wouldn’t be so bad. Even if we were staring at dumb ass cows. “I gotta head out though. Heading to the cattle sales with Dad.”
“Have fun with that.” Connor chuckled as he sipped from his mug.
“Thanks for letting me stay here last night.”
“All good.”
“Well,” I said as I buckled my belt and stuffed my feet back in my boots, “I’ll see you around.”
I jumped in the ute and started the ignition, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the rear view mirror. It was not a pretty sight. When Connor sauntered up to my door and leaned through the window, I almost had a heart attack. I had definitely not been expecting to see him that close up. I could smell the coffee on his breath, he was that close.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for looking out for Holly. I know…I know she’s not your problem, and I know we probably come off looking like asses, but right now, we could use all the help we can get watching out for her.”
I didn’t know what to say. He was right about so many things, but then he was so off base on others. Holly wasn’t a problem they had to deal with. What Holly was going through, what Holly was doing to herself, they were just consequences of the bigger picture. I wanted to make Connor see that. He needed to see it. Right now though, I didn’t have the time. I had some place I needed to be.
“Any time.” I shook his outstretched hand, slipped the ute into gear, and tore out of there like someone had lit my ass on fire.
Exactly seventeen minutes after Dad’s call, I slipped into the passenger seat of the truck and we were off. Granted my hair was wet and dripping on my face. My t-shirt was still balled up in my hands, and I was trying to do up my jeans as we bumped along down the driveway. But I made it.
From the pinched expression on Dad’s face, I wasn’t sure if he was impressed or annoyed. More than likely a little of both. When it came to me, he usually was.
Chapter Seven
Holly
“You sure?” Ryan asked me for I think the fiftieth time since I’d tossed my backpack on the seat.
“Ryan, I’ll be fine.”
“Holly…” I hated that tone. That condescending ‘I-know-you’re-lying’ tone. Ryan had taken to using it around me…a lot. It was beginning to drive me batshit insane. If he didn’t cut it out soon he was going to get junk punched.
“Ryan, I promise, I’m okay. It’s just a new haircut.”
“Bullshit! That’s not a haircut, Holly, it’s a god damn statement. How do you think people are going to look at you around here? What are they going to say?”
I was fine before, now I was fucking livid. For weeks now my shrink had been telling me to ignore what everyone else said. Forget about them. Do what makes me happy. Don’t worry about other people’s narrow minded judgements and try not to hear their comments. Now here Ryan was worrying about me doing the opposite. I don’t know what I had to do to get my brothers to lighten up. I might be a little broken at the moment, but I was still standing. At least most of the time I was.
On Friday I’d spent the night at Payton’s. We had so much fun. Eating ice-cream. Making brownies. Well, Payton tried to make brownies while Carly and I just licked the spoons. Watching old movies. I don’t care what anyone says, there is no such thing as too much Dirty Dancing. I learnt a lot about my brothers. Most of it was shit I didn’t want to know and wished I could bleach from my brain. Mostly though, we just hung out like normal girls. There were no prank phone calls. No bitchy group chats. No backstabbing a friend who wasn’t there. In fact, if anything it was the opposite.
When things started to get a bit heavy, I’m not sure how we ended up on the topic of my last hospital visit. Payton mentioned Mia having some understanding. Before we knew it, Mia and Josie arrived, a gorgeous pyjama-clad Matilda in her arms. With their arrival, girls’ night really began.
Everyone told their stories. It seemed like everyone in this room, Payton, Carly, Mia, and Josie had all been through some pretty heavy shit in their lives, yet somehow they’d all become even more amazing for it. Hearing their stories, hearing their struggles, made me cry, but at the same time made me feel ten feet tall. They’d fought back. It hadn’t been easy, and it had taken time, but they’d done it. And now look at them. All four women standing tall, making their own dreams come true. Sure, each had a guy standing beside them, but Payton kept repeating it, Beau stood beside her, helping her with every step. Not once had he tried to step in front and take over the fight. Mia just laughed.
“Let’s skype Zoe!” Mia may have had a couple of those premade vodka drinks that came in every colour of the rainbow. Seeing she was a tiny little thing, it was no wonder that the alcohol went straight to her head.
“Why?”
“Because Zoe can help you, Holly.”
“I don’t need help!” I’d snapped defensively. I was doing better. Sure, I wasn’t over the moon, doing cartwheels in the street, but I also wasn’t squirreling away booze and pills, waiting for the house to fall silent to make it stop either.
“Holly, Mia didn’t mean it like that. You haven’t heard Zoe’s story, have you?” Payton asked as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. I shook my head softly. To me, Zoe was like this fictional character. Everyone knew her story. Everyone knew her pain. Everyone treated her like she was some kind of princess. Maybe she was. Maybe that’s the big secret.
“Zoe’s boyfriend died.”
“Oh.” This was not going to be a story with a happy ending. Yep, Mia and Payton and everyone had been through crappy stuff, but so far no one had died. I guess that was Zoe’s demon alone.
“Right in front of her. He was in a fight and was killed.”
“Was Zoe all right?” I was enthralled now. I’d met Zoe, so I knew she hadn’t been killed or permanently injured, but that didn’t mean jack. Not really. I knew from personal experience that scars weren’t always visible. It was the ones hidden on the inside which did the most damage.
Josie spun around the laptop and there was Zoe’s serious face staring back at me. “Not for a long time she wasn’t.”
I felt my stomach churn. I didn’t know if Zoe was pissed we’d been talking about her or not, but I still felt awkward. We weren’t friends. We’d run into each other a handful of times and I’d seen her sneaking out of Connor’s on more than one occasion, but we’d never really spoken. Not about anything important, anyway.
“Hi Zoe!” Mia chirped loudly in my ear as she leant over the back of the couch.
“Wow! Everyone’s there,” Zoe exclaimed with fake enthusiasm. I don’t think the others caught the sad flicker that danced across her face.
“Whatcha doing tonight?” Josie asked as she slipped onto the couch beside me before juggling her sleeping daughter in her arms. A few minutes ago, Josie had tried to put Matilda down on Payton’s bed, but the moment she let go, Matilda started screaming the house down. Resigned to the fact she wasn’t getting any space any time soon, Josie just scooped her up and carried her around until she was sleeping again. Thankfully it didn’t take long and the screaming stopped.
“I was just about to eat some dinner.”
“Bit late, isn’t it?” Josie asked. She was such a mum. Even though she wasn’t that much older than me, she acted like it. Maybe it was having someone depend on you for everything that made you seem older. Or perhaps it was just who Josie was.
“Just got home. Work kicked my ass this week, so I’m having a glass of wine and some dinner, then I’m going to slip in
to bed with a good book.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out,” Payton confirmed. Briefly I wondered if that was what Payton would prefer to be doing right now. Kicking back and relaxing without an apartment full of people. She was so sweet though, she’d never say it, and she’d certainly never complain.
“Sounds boring,” Mia taunted as she leant forward a little too far over my shoulder and ended up somersaulting over me, landing in a tangle of limbs on the floor.
For a brief second there was silence before it was swallowed by the raucous laughter as we all dissolved into fits of giggles at Mia’s complete lack of co-ordination.
“Is she drunk?”
“No,” Mia yelled at the same time everyone else answered, “Yes.”
“Have fun with that Derek!”
“Hey, Derek loves me!” Mia pouted from her spot on the floor. She was an adorable drunk.
“Of course he does,” Zoe confirmed with a huge smile. “Any who, what’s going on?”
“Holly’s been going through some shit and she only has four brothers…”
“Four brothers, that’s ridiculous. How do you do anything? Do they even let you date?”
“Boarding school.”
“Ah! That’ll do it!”
“Anyway, Holly’s been having a pretty shitty time and she can’t really talk to her brothers about it, ’cause, well, you know, they’re boys.”
“Amen to that!” Carly saluted, raising her bottle of beer. Where the hell these women were getting their booze from was a mystery to me, but why weren’t they sharing? Oh yeah, that’s right. I was under age and Carly and Payton were practically my sisters. Payton was already my sister-in-law and I’d bet my piggy bank it wouldn’t be long before I could call Carly the same. This was bullshit.
“So we were telling her our stories, you know, bringing her into the fold.”
“And you thought telling her about Spencer would help?” Zoe’s question was filled with annoyance. I hoped she wasn’t pissed at me. I didn’t even know Spencer. Hell, I barely knew Zoe. No wonder she didn’t want to open up and spill all her deep, dark secrets. I was practically a stranger.
Meet The McIntyres - The Complete Series Page 54
