by Donna Alward
He’d even seduced her last night, thinking that if he could get her to admit that she wanted him, if he could make love to her and remind her of all they’d had, she’d come around.
She had been different. More. Her body more lush, curved. It hadn’t been just sex and she hadn’t been a girl in love with a boy. She’d been all woman. No one since had fired his blood the way she had. No woman ever filled him with super-human strength with a simple touch or smile. But she did. And he’d blown it when he’d mentioned Kim.
Backtracking hadn’t been enough. She’d set the trap and he’d walked right into it. And opened his big fat mouth.
But you couldn’t control life and you sure as hell couldn’t control other people. Especially someone as strong and determined as Molly. And it had been his fear of losing that had caused him to lose her anyway.
“Boss? You okay?”
Jason turned at the sound of one of the office assistants.
“Sure. Why?”
“Because I told you that we’re low on amoxicillin and you said to take a message.”
He stared. “Sorry, Bess. I’m a little preoccupied. We should have more stock with the next drug order.”
“Okay.” She smiled a little quizzically at him. “I’ll just get back to work.”
Jason went downstairs, locked himself in the bathroom and leaned over the sink. He ran some cold water and splashed his face, looking in the mirror at his drawn eyes and grim lips. Who was he kidding? He was miserable. He’d blown it for the second time. All the planning to show Molly what she had given up had done nothing but blow up in his face. Instead, he’d told her about kissing Kim. Talk about your awkward situations. But in the end, he knew she was leaving because he hadn’t been able to admit he had something to learn, too.
And that was going to change, starting right now.
When she’d asked him last night about what he envisioned, he’d sensed a trap but had gone ahead with what he’d allowed himself to fantasize about. His house, no longer empty but ringing with her laughter. Sleeping beside her at night, hearing her even breathing, the warmth of her body seeping into his. He’d pictured her rounded with pregnancy and glowing, beautiful. Had seen her years in the future, a handful of kids around her as she packed school lunches and checked homework, soothed tears and celebrated successes.
That’s what he’d wanted. But again, he hadn’t asked what she wanted. He’d let her go, never attempted to connect with her again because he had always been sure she’d been the one in the wrong. Finally, he was beginning to see that her dreams were every bit as important as his. And he hadn’t even asked her what hers were! He’d accused her of being self-absorbed when he’d been the one guilty of that transgression.
What did he have, really? Besides an empty house and a sixty-hour work week? He loved his work, yes, but his personal life? Shambles.
If the past three weeks had accomplished nothing else, they had made him realize one thing. He hadn’t been living, not really. He’d been going through the motions, salving his need for family with the girl next door and her daughter, avoiding getting out there and experiencing life. The few times he’d attempted relationships, they’d fallen flat, never lasting very long. In the last three weeks, whether he and Molly had been fighting, not speaking or kissing, the end result had been the same. Being with Molly again had made him feel more alive than he’d felt in years.
He’d learned there was more than one way to be happy.
And right now she was getting on an airplane and flying away from him. Again. And for good.
He opened the bathroom door and went back upstairs, looking around with new eyes. Yes, he’d built a lucrative business, but he could do that anywhere. He couldn’t imagine living in a world where he didn’t do what he loved, but he couldn’t imagine doing what he loved without Molly by his side either. Without her, everything seemed pointless, and he knew now that if he let her get away a second time he would never forgive himself.
His employees bustled around, doing their jobs, but now it didn’t seem as meaningful to him. Not without her.
He looked at the clock on the wall. She was probably already gone, he realized. Still, he knew that if he didn’t at least try, he’d regret it every single day of his life. If he had to, he’d buy a ticket to Calgary and go after her himself.
He stripped off his lab coat, hung it on a hook and grabbed his jacket. “Tell Mark I had to go out, and I’m sorry. Reschedule if you can. I won’t be back today.”
“But Dr. Elliot…”
But he was already out the door and jogging toward the truck. It was a five-minute drive to the airport. Maybe he wasn’t too late. But he had to make a stop first.
As Jason skidded into the parking lot, he saw an airplane taking off, nose up, heading into the low cloud cover. He swung into the first empty space he saw and didn’t even bother with change for the meter. If she was gone, there was only one thing to do—go after her.
*
“Flight eight-seven-four-three to Toronto is now boarding. All passengers should now proceed through security to the gate.”
Molly looked at her watch. Well, at least they were going to board at the revised scheduled time. They should have been boarding a half hour ago, but she’d been left sitting in the lounge, drinking stale coffee while the crews de-iced the plane. Oh well…it would make her layover in Toronto shorter, she supposed. Finally, now, it seemed she could get on board and get back to disassembling what was left of her life.
And oh, how very dull that sounded.
She had some major changes to make. And first on her list was looking for a new job or possibly setting up her own practice. Someplace where she could feel useful and make a difference. She didn’t quite know where that was, but she knew for sure it wasn’t in her drab brown downtown office. Surely, somewhere closer to home, someone had need of a savvy corporate attorney.
She stood up and put the strap of her carry-on luggage over her shoulder, careful not to spill what was left of her coffee. She had her boarding pass in hand and was making her way to the security line when she heard it.
“Molly!”
She shook her head. She was just imagining things, her mind creating fanciful illusions. Leaving Jason last night had been the hardest thing she’d ever done…even harder than it had been six years ago. She could have gone through the metal detector sooner, into the secure area, but had stayed in the cafeteria simply because somewhere deep inside, a small part of her had hoped he’d come. This was simply her longing for him manifesting itself and she disregarded it.
“Molly!”
There was no mistaking it this time. Turning completely around, she saw Jason jogging down the hall toward her, his jaw set determinedly. Don’t give in, she chanted to herself. Just because he’s here doesn’t mean he’s right.
He stopped in front of her and she looked up, struggling to keep her face neutral while the rest of her traitorous body rejoiced at seeing him. His cheeks were ruddy from cold and hurrying, his hair disheveled as if he’d run his fingers through it a million times. To Molly, knowing it was the last time she’d see a long time, he’d never looked more alluring.
“What are you doing here, Jason? We said our goodbyes last night.”
He stopped her progress in line with a hand on her arm. “You said goodbye. I didn’t.”
She looked around—several passengers were watching curiously, hearing every word. “They’ve just called boarding. We were delayed. I have to go.”
“Just…wait.” He tugged on her arm, pulling her out of line and she followed simply so the rest of the people couldn’t hear what he was saying.
She searched for the words to say what she knew had to be said. “I’ve got to go, Jason. I tried to make you see that last night.” Steady, she reminded herself.
“I know you did and you were right. Now it’s my turn to have my say.”
“I was right?”
He let go of her arm and to her surprise, la
ughed. “I know, I didn’t think I could admit it either.” He smoothed a hand over her cheek. “Yes, Molly, you were right. About everything.
“You were right about what happened six years ago. I did have this whole picture of our lives together, and I couldn’t see that it wasn’t what you wanted. When you left, I was convinced that you’d left me. But you didn’t, did you?”
“No,” she murmured. “I ran from your plan, but not from you. I loved you.”
He paused, letting that confession swirl around them both, the importance of that beautiful truth finally sinking in as she finally said the words.
“I couldn’t see that. All I could see was my dream of a home and family with you wasn’t what you wanted, and I wasn’t willing to compromise. I’ve never gotten over you, don’t you see? Then you came back and I wanted to hate you. I could see how lonely my life had become and I wanted to blame you. It worked for a while, too. Until that day we went sledding.” He reached down and took her hands in his. “I was scared, and then I was angry, and then I realized I’d never stopped loving you. I didn’t know what to do with that.”
“There’s nothing to do with that. You still want me to fall in line with some master plan of yours and I just can’t.” Even though she had talked to Kim, she couldn’t resist saying, “Kim is so much more what you want out of life.”
“How could she be what I want when I’m not in love with her?”
That stopped her, and she swallowed. Now she’d heard it from both sides.
“I can’t,” she finally managed to say. “It would end up hurting us both far more than if we walk away friends now. Please,” she implored him. “Let me do that. Let me walk away as your friend.” And let me come back and be friends.
“I can’t do that. Not after loving you last night. Not after remembering everything.”
She pulled her hands away from his and adjusted her carry on. “I’ve got to go.”
The female voice came over the intercom and announced final boarding for the flight. Molly took the first steps away from him. Her heart was heavy as she realized she was walking away from him, from them, honest and truly for good. Even when she knew she was doing the right thing, it felt very wrong.
“Don’t get on that plane,” he said loudly, causing heads to turn in his direction. When Molly spun tears were in her eyes, her lips pursed up in frustration.
“Why are you doing this to me?” she hissed, her eyes shooting daggers at him. “Just let me go!”
“Never again,” he answered, shaking his head. “It’s not the same this time, Molly. Let me show you.”
“Show me what?”
“That you’re it for me.”
The passengers had stopped moving; even the security guards stood watching the scene instead of putting bags through the metal detector. For Molly they ceased to exist. She only saw Jason’s dark eyes focused on hers, found herself gazing back, longing for him to say the right words this time. She cursed the hope that fluttered in her chest. She hadn’t let herself hope.
“That’s never been the issue,” she choked.
“Then I’ll prove it. I’ll put the house up for sale and let Mark buy out my share of the clinic. I can start over again, easily. It doesn’t matter where. I can come to Calgary and be with you, or we can go somewhere new and start over together. Whatever you want.”
He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t. Jason Elliot, Mr. Five Year Plan, wasn’t actually breaking ties and taking unknown chances, was he? She wanted to believe him. She’d never wanted anything more than to believe that he could trust her with their future. But a tiny part of her still nagged that it was too good to be true. She kept the distance between them, still wary.
“You’re just saying that to get me to agree.”
He started walking slowly toward her. “You’re right. I am. Because right now there’s nothing that matters half as much as being able to love you for the rest of my life. I’ll give it all up if you’ll marry me this time, Molly.”
He reached her and she had to tilt up her head to look into his eyes. He was serious. He was willing to give it all up to be with her. On her terms. Nothing ever could have meant more to her than the sacrifice he was willing to make to be with her. She swallowed, suddenly aware that her cheeks were wet with tears and that thirty-odd people were waiting with held breath for her answer. He hadn’t known she’d been planning to come back all along…and he was willing to uproot his life to be with her! She sniffed, laughed, turned to the security personnel and said, “You’d better get these people through. I won’t be boarding.”
A cheer went up through the crowd, voices laughing and hands clapping as she turned back to Jason, dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around his neck. “My answer’s yes,” she whispered, gasping when his arms lifted her feet clear of the floor and he kissed her, fully, jubilantly.
The crowd dispersed and he put her down. “I was so scared,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to hers. “I was sure you’d say no, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage without you. I thought after last night I didn’t stand a chance.”
“You mean it? We can start our life anywhere?”
He nodded. “It’ll take some arranging with the house and business, but nothing a good lawyer can’t handle.” He winked at her and she grinned widely. He dipped into his coat pocket. “I have something for you.”
Stepping away, he knelt down on the cold white tiled floor and opened the ring box with a stiff creak.
“This ring has waited six years to be on your finger. Don’t make it—or me—wait any longer.”
He took it out of the velvet and slipped it over the finger of the hand she held out. It was a perfect fit, even now.
He rose, still clasping her hand, turning the diamonds over with his fingers.
“Jason? You don’t need a lawyer.”
He stopped twirling and furrowed his eyebrows at her. “I don’t?”
“You don’t need legal counsel. You aren’t going to sell the practice or the house. I love your house.”
He stepped back, mouth gaping. Molly laughed, crossing her arms and pressing her fingers against her lips. He didn’t realize. Didn’t see that his willingness to sacrifice was all she’d really needed, and more than she thought he’d ever give.
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“I thought you wanted to stay in Calgary, look after your career…” His brows furrowed in confusion.
“I know that’s what you thought. But I can be a good lawyer anywhere. I love Calgary, but without you, it’s…” She broke off, swallowing the tears that gathered in her throat. “What I wanted, you silly man, is the choice. To know that what I wanted was as important to you as what you wanted. A partnership, equal billing. To know that together we could find a compromise.”
“And it took me six years to realize it.”
“Better late than never.”
“You really want to stay here?”
She smiled, feeling all the pieces click into place one by one. “I’d already decided to quit and leave Calgary. I don’t belong far away, in a job that’s cold and unfulfilling. I knew over a week ago that I wanted to come back and be closer to Kim and Sara and…you.” She raised her hand and touched his jaw tenderly. “But I couldn’t tell you. I needed you to offer that compromise so I could be sure. My heart broke last night when I thought I’d never get it. I was sure that if I got out of the way that there’d be room for you and Kim to be happy, because you both deserve that.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I know that now. It’s not up to me to try to dictate your lives. It’s not about plans and timetables. It’s about hearts. And what hurt most is I knew without a doubt I’d never love anyone as much as I love you.”
“I couldn’t let you walk away again.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and she closed her eyes.
“Excuse me for saying it, but I’m glad!” She laughed thickly.
“You’re really coming home?
”
“I was only going back to take care of business—like selling my condo and quitting my job. I’ll stay with Kim until I get settled but…your house is big enough for both of us. Kim is next door—and it’s high time I started being a sister and aunt, don’t you think? I can’t think of anything more perfect. I can hang out my shingle anywhere.”
At a loss for words, Jason simply gathered her into his arms and closed his eyes in thankfulness.
“Let’s go home,” she whispered against his neck. “I’ve got the whole afternoon off, and this is one celebration that’s long overdue.”
Epilogue
Molly twisted the rings on her finger, trying to ease them off her hand. “Oh, this is ridiculous.”
Jason laughed, picking up the hand and slipping the offending finger into his mouth. “I think it’s cute,” he said, nipping at the pink-colored fingernail.
With a snort, Molly ripped her hand away and turned the rings around until they finally slid over the knuckle. With a sigh, she put them on the coffee table and sank back into the cushions of the sofa.
“Mistake number two.”
“Sitting down?”
“Sitting here,” she complained ruefully. “You’re going to need a block and tackle to get me up.”
Jason leaned over, spreading his hand over the large mound of stomach protruding from the cushions. “It won’t be long now. And you finished work today… We can finish decorating the nursery. Spend a few lazy mornings in bed….whatever you want, angel.”
Leaving work had been hard. Molly had come to love her new job, working as legal counsel to a large non-profit for underprivileged kids. Knowing at the end of the day she was helping make a difference—it was much more fulfilling than endless land and gas leases, the power parties and pointless receptions.
