“What do we know? What do we know? Here’s what we know, professor. Ever since that little stunt where you revealed to the world the details of Necrosia’s device — which you were explicitly told to keep secret, I might add — everything has gone to hell! The media is having a field day with this, working up the general public into a frenzy of paranoia. With folks running through the streets screaming about an impending apocalypse, I have to divert a portion of my manpower away from this case, just to keep the peace and prevent our society from bubbling into a full-on riot! Add in the fact that every scumbag on this hemisphere has already arrived in New Brasov, while the goblin lickers from the other hemisphere are merrily on their way, all itching to get their hands on Necrosia and her secrets for God knows what sinister purposes. Oh yeah, and I forgot. Nobody knows where the hell the damned harpy and her cronies are!”
“Yes, yes, quite a predicament,” Snotwaddle mused, pulling his mustache, the tone of his voice clearly reflecting the fact that he had disassociated himself from any of the issues Hammett had just accused him of having a hand in. “She’s always been a wily one, Serene. Clever…deeply troubled, but clever nonetheless.” Abruptly the professor turned around, opened the office door again and poked his head out. “I need a chair and a bottle of cognac this instant!” The door slammed again, and he proceeded to pace back and forth, his face wrinkled with deep thought. “Serene, Serene, where the devil have you got to?”
“This is absurd! I can’t think under these conditions. Tell me we can do something about this,” Hammett asked in a pleading, hopeless tone to his partner, who doubtfully shook his head in reply.
“Don’t you worry, my good man,” Snotwaddle spoke up, entirely unaware that the Cyclops had referred to him, “with my genius and your…erm…whatever it is you do on the case, we’ll have this conundrum unraveled faster than you can say Paragon of the Millennium! Let’s not dillydally! What I need to begin with is a map of the surrounding area and a detailed report of Serene’s travels for the past five years. And while you’re at it, see if you can’t acquire a bottle of Olympian Cognac.”
“That’s it! I can’t take this anymore!” Hammett leaped from his chair, his hands literally shaking from the frustrated rage welling within.
“Oh, most gracious of you,” Snotwaddle piped, quickly slipping into the vacated seat. “My feet are positively worn to the bone! You are a true gentleman, inspector.”
The Cyclops opened his mouth wide in preparation to unleash a volley of verbal vehemence, when at that precise moment a loud beeping noise began emanating from Hammett’s coat. “What now?!” he screamed into his communication device, thrusting its earpiece roughly into his ear.
“Sir? It’s Evans,” a voice answered back sheepishly on the device’s earpiece.
“Of course it is, you drooling, incompetent troll! What the hell do you want?”
“Your partner is somewhat lacking in social graces, I must say,” Snotwaddle whispered to Vega with an arched eyebrow.
“Inspector, our people in the internal affairs division just picked up something incredibly interesting. I don’t want to blow this out of proportion, as it could be a false lead, but, well…”
“For the love of god, Evans, spit it out already!”
“Sir, we’ve been keeping tabs on a handful of our agents the past few months whose standard of living has been…let’s just say somewhat greater than their pay grade. We’ve suspected that they could be moonlighting as informants for enemy organizations. To cut to the chase, several hours ago one of our marked agents stationed at a road block sent a coded communication through a known Cosa Nosferatu channel. Our technicians haven’t fully decoded the message yet, but from what we have deciphered it appears that Necrosia has been spotted en route to the town of Winston Flats.”
As Evans related the news, Hammett’s great eye grew larger and larger, the thrill of the hunt suddenly reignited. “Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, Evans. You understand? I’ll contact you again shortly.” The inspector abruptly returned his communication device to his coat pocket and shot an impassioned glance at Vega. The Spaniard smirked, took a final sip of coffee, rose to his feet and began slipping into his coat.
“So what’s all the hubbub, eh?” Snotwaddle asked, extremely disappointed that he had been unable to hear both sides of Hammett’s conversation. Hammett didn’t bother responding to the question, but instead charged out of the office, yelling at people to get the hell out of his way as he galloped through the station toward the exit. Vega offered a polite nod to the professor before bursting out in pursuit. “I’ll just stay here, then. I’ll have a message sent to you once I’ve puzzled everything out,” Snotwaddle yelled after them. He paused a moment, and finding himself entirely alone, began opening desk drawers and perusing their contents with interest.
Chapter 26- A Bloody Inconvenience
Despite the fact that Moody checked her mirrors almost constantly, nothing more had been seen of the two UEL officers who pulled them over, nor anything else out of the ordinary as they continued along the highway. Regardless, Moody appeared visibly stressed, which only increased Alex’s anxiety level tenfold, and he quickly found himself glancing at the mirrors as often as the hunchback and half imagining he saw figures lurking about on each side of the road. Naturally, Serene was oblivious to all of the tension in the cab, and riding a great euphoria following her sex bomb performance, began to relate in detail all of the many exotic, handsome fellows who had chased her about over the years.
About an hour before sunset they arrived at Winston Flats, a UEL-governed town so small and unimpressive that if you blinked you could have missed it altogether. Selecting a place to spend the night had hardly been difficult as there was but one small, antiquated motel nestled in the center of town. Moody entered the office to check in by herself, as the three had all agreed that the less frequently they were seen together the better. Their room had but two beds, and it didn’t take much of a stretch of the imagination for Alex to guess who’d get stuck sleeping on the floor, as Serene made it abundantly clear that she would not be sharing her sleeping area with Moody. Otherwise, the room appeared more than adequate and looked clean and comfortable for a night’s rest, although it was especially dark and didn’t possess any windows — which, after some reflection, Alex decided was probably a good thing.
“It’s a pity this hovel of a town doesn’t have a nightclub or the like. I rather feel like dancing tonight,” Serene declared, admiring her figure in the mirror. “I imagine I could literally set the floor ablaze with my rumba. Anyway, shall we at least determine if there are any eating establishments about that are relatively unlikely to serve us food poisoning?”
“You are going to keep your butt planted in this room until we leave tomorrow.” Moody quashed the inventor’s notion of the evening.
“What? You expect me to tolerate being imprisoned in this dump all night? Certainly not.”
“Serene, why on earth did I bother to check into this room by myself, only to have the three of us go waltzing about the streets? Besides, it’ll be dark soon, and we already agreed to stay indoors after nightfall.”
“Oh come! This sleepy little settlement is far too secluded to provide any danger. I doubt one in twenty of the residents knows what’s going on outside city limits. I assure you, there are no pointy-toothed miscreants lurking in the shadows here. We’ll be fine.”
“You’re right, we will be fine because you’re staying put while I go find something for us to eat.” Moody crossed her arms and stomped her foot as she spoke. “And you won’t be all alone; little man here will keep you company until I get back.”
“Living the life of a fugitive is a bloody inconvenience!”
“You should have thought about that before you nearly destroyed the world. Just hang on, and I’ll be back with food in a minute.” Moody began to exit the room, but then hesitated. “And lock the door behind me! Don’t open up unless you know who it is!”
“Hey,” Alex butted in, “be careful out there.” Moody smirked back, a look that reflected great amusement at his concern, and tapped her fingers against her forehead in mock salute before finally shutting the door behind her.
With Moody gone very little remained for Alex to do aside from converse with Serene, which he was not in the least interested in. Fortunately, just as every hotel he had been to on the “other side” always featured a TV, their current accommodations provided a small Visi-Screen for their entertainment. Alex kicked off his shoes, hopped onto one of the beds, and after several moments of fiddling with the remote device, managed to power on the contraption. The program currently on view happened to be a nature documentary, very similar, in fact, to anything he had watched back home — except for the fact that instead of monkeys or birds or whatnot, this particular episode focused on the life of a small band of forest dryads in Eastern Europe. He was, without question, positively mesmerized by the show, astonished that what he saw wasn’t some stunningly convincing special effects piece, but an honest to goodness look at a species which shouldn’t exist, going about their daily lives, fighting for survival. Serene immediately got pulled into the show as well, sitting next to Alex on the bed with her legs stretched out. The inventor insisted on interjecting her own “scientific opinion” frequently, and on more than one occasion contradicted the smooth-toned narrator, stating that “those imbeciles don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.” Then, during one particularly intense sequence where a bear-like creature set about trying to catch and eat the poor critters, Serene worked her way to the edge of the bed and began cheering on the little dryads to “save themselves”, which amused Alex to no end. Not so amusing was the look in the inventor’s eyes when the requisite “mating scene” took place, wherein it seemed that Serene cuddled up closer to him and engendered an overwhelmingly uncomfortable feeling. All in all, however, this had been the most fun he’d experienced in days, and the time passed in the blink of an eye.
“Serene, I’m starting to get worried. Moody’s been gone for close to an hour now.”
“Has she really?” Serene sounded genuinely surprised.
“She could have walked around the entire town six times by now. She should have been back long ago.”
“Perhaps she’s having difficulty locating a liquor store.”
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“Well…let’s give the old girl a few more minutes, and if she still doesn’t show up, we may have to break her silly rules and have a peek outside.”
By this time Alex’s imagination ran wild, with swarms of vampires descending upon his friend, her cries of pain and anger lost in the void of the night- and here he had been sitting around watching dryads play and procreate the whole time. Not that he would be much help anyway. Under such a scenario Moody was the one always saving his ass. He sat at the edge of the bed and anxiously stared at the door, feeling helpless and miserable.
“For heaven’s sake, Alex. Quasimoody, as you well know, is more than capable of taking care of herself. I have no doubt that she’s perfectly fine. Why don’t you try relaxing for once in your life? Come sit next to me, dear. This next program is all about the history of vivisection. It should prove immensely educational … and soothing to the nerves.”
“Serene, I’m telling you,” he began, but was cut short by the sound of a soft rap at the door. “Thank God.”
“See, I told you, did I not?”
“Freaking hunchback,” Alex mumbled as he hopped off the bed and walked to the door. “Where the hell has she been all this time?” He peered through the peephole, but unsurprisingly failed to see anything as it had been positioned at human height. Another soft knock tapped on the door. “What’s the magic password?” he said loudly, but no response came. “Moody? Say something so I can let you in.” Again, nothing could be seen or heard from outside. “Hey, this isn’t funny, Moody. This isn’t the time for one of your pranks. Hello?” A tremendous thud pounded on the door, so loud and surprising that Alex fell backwards onto the floor.
“Something tells me that it is not Quasimoody at our door,” Serene stated calmly. Alex backed away from the door as two more thumps rattled its hinges. At the same time, the heavy clomping of large feet began echoing above them. “Oh, dear. They’re on the roof as well. No matter. We’ll teach these interlopers a thing or three. Had me Spleen Cleaver, would you.”
“What?”
“My sword, dear boy. Hand me my sword.”
“What are you talking about? It’s in the truck!”
“The devil is it doing outside?”
“I don’t know. Why are you asking me?” Alex asked back in a mixture of fear and irritation. The noise on the roof grew louder now.
“You’re my assistant aren’t you? It’s your job to handle these things and assist me!”
“What? How’s this my fault? Nobody asked me to get anything out of the truck, ok?”
“You shouldn’t have to be told to do certain things!” The racket above rose louder still, as if something were being hammered into the roof, and odd grunting noises picked up as well. “Because of your lack of initiative we find ourselves woefully defenseless. To teach you a lesson I’m docking your pay!”
A chunk of the ceiling exploded, raining down plaster and splinters, as a small charge detonated. Three small, husky forms leaped down from the hole above into the smoky, dust filled room. Initially Alex felt a tremendous relief to discover that the assailants weren’t vampires, but in fact goblins. But as the air began to clear and the fiends came into clearer view, he quickly realized that these weren’t the silly, harmless kind like Yip-Yip the barber back in Eville. There was a genuinely dangerous, cruel look in their eyes, and their heavily scarred bodies, half hewn ears and makeshift armor made it obvious that these fellows were deadly. One particularly maladjusted brute even wore a string of human ears around its neck. The three goblins appeared to take no note of Alex, but instead quickly rushed in on Serene. The inventor reached for the nearest object, a lamp resting on a bed stand, and began swinging it back and forth at the attackers. The goblins ducked and weaved about, handily avoiding her blows, purposely avoiding a full-on assault. They were clearly taking pains not to injure the inventor; they were sent not to kill, but to capture.
Alex rushed the closest goblin, tackling it from behind. The two crashed to the floor painfully, and the wily goblin swiftly set to biting and kicking the man. Not only did the beast’s attacks hurt like hell, but its breath was so putrid that Alex imagined he would either faint or throw up at any moment. Somehow he managed to get his knees pulled to his chest, and with a furious thrust, hurled the goblin off and into the door, where it lay for the moment dazed. Stumbling to his feet, Alex rushed toward Serene. One of the goblins clung to her back, legs wrapped tightly against her sides, and its long fingers clasped around her eyes and mouth. With muffled screams bellowing out, Serene swung the lamp haphazardly all about, unable to see a thing, as the other goblin attempted to rush in and slip a rope around her legs. Alex determined to make for the goblin riding Serene first, thinking that it posed the greater threat. Rushing in, he clasped his hands around the goblin’s wrists and began pulling them back. But in the commotion Serene swung wildly to her right, catching Alex alongside his head with the lamp. He stumbled back two steps, the world spinning like an out of control carnival ride, and crashed to the floor. He couldn’t see anything other than blackness, but in his ears he distinctly caught the sound of Serene being brought to the floor, struggling for several moments, and then being hauled out of the room, screaming and cursing up a storm. And then all became silence.
Chapter 27- Choices
“How many fingers do you see?” Alex heard the question perfec
tly clearly, but he didn’t notice a single finger. He could only focus on the immense, singular brown eye glaring down at him, studying him thoughtfully, a shrewd intelligence so sharp that it felt as though he were being pierced straight through to the floor. “Hello? Can you hear me, Alex?”
“How do you know my name?” Alex at last replied in a weak voice.
“So you can hear me,” Hammett said with a smile. “I was beginning to wonder how extensive your head injury was. And yes, I know your name. You’re quite famous, you know, being Serene Necrosia’s ’Lead Creative Director’and all.”
“Oh, my god! Serene! Where’s Serene? Where’s Moody?” Alex forced himself up off the floor and frantically scanned his surroundings. He was still in the motel room, now a complete disaster from the goblin attack, but no sign of either of his companions could be seen.
“They are gone. Taken without serious injury from the look of things, but taken nonetheless. The handiwork of goblin mercenaries. I can still smell their stink in the air.” Alex nodded, fear and anxiety throttling him as he imagined what might be happening to his two friends at this very moment. “I can honestly say that of all things I did not expect to find you here in this manner. I suppose they felt you were an unnecessary addition to their collection of captives.”
Vega stepped through the door, casually brushed aside the rubble on one of the beds and sat himself on its edge. Noticing that Alex stared back at him with a confused look, as though he recognized the man’s face but couldn’t quite place it, the Spaniard courteously nodded his head in greeting and smiled. “Who are you people?” Alex finally asked, swallowing hard, trying to sound composed.
“My partner, Raphael Vega, you have already met in passing back in New Brasov, and I believe you rather owe him thanks for saving you and your hunchback friend from being hauled away by the Cosa Nosferatu. As for myself, my name is Daniel Hammett. We are UEL investigators, currently assigned the unenviable task of hunting Ms. Necrosia down…along with her traveling companions, a hunchback named Quasimoody, and a man from the ‘other side’ going by the name of Alex Hobbs.”
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