by Saundra
“Yeah, he might be cute but he super whack. Talkin’ ’bout I’m beautiful. Now what lame-ass game is that? He might as well have wrote me a note saying ‘do you like me, yes or no?’” Secret and I both laughed at the comment.
“Aye, aye.” Courtney had come out of nowhere, dancing.
“What’s up, Courtney?” Secret spoke first.
“In this bitch about to shut it down. What y’all doin’ in here?”
“Secret got me here on empty, but I ain’t trippin’.” I grinned.
“Real talk. I had to get out. You know I can’t do all that work and no play.” Secret turned to the bar and ordered another drink. Lil Boosie and Webbie’s old song “Wipe Me Down” came on, and we all hit the dance floor. Future’s “Percocet” came on immediately after, and we had to jam to that. Before long we had danced for several songs straight. We were having so much fun; I didn’t want the night to the end. But finally it was coming to an end.
We started for the exit, but the crowd was thick as we tried to head outside. “This shit I hate, because if one these bitches step on my eight-hundred-dollar heels I’ma be ready to kill.” Secret looked down at her feet as if trying to watch them.
“I told you we should have stayed at home.” This was the first and only time of the night that I had regretted coming out. I wasn’t shocked, though. This was usually the crowd, but normally we hung in VIP, so the crowd would be dispersed by the time we left.
“I guess I should have listened to you. Wait. Not.” Secret laughed, and I did, too. We had enjoyed ourselves to the fullest.
A big, tall dude stepped in front of me, so I eased behind Secret and decided to follow her up but, somehow, in the blink of eye, she was nowhere in sight. Just like that we had been separated. I tried to sidestep some people looking for a clearing, but no matter which way I tried to turn, I just couldn’t get through, and the crowd was moving slowly. I finally saw a clearing to the left of me and tried to break for it. I did a double take as I thought I saw a glimpse of my ex-boyfriend.
But suddenly, the crowd had thickened again, and the clearing was history. Not sure if I had seen what I thought I had, I paused for a brief second. With determination and ready to be rid of the crowd, I forcefully pushed my way through and saw Secret.
Secret looked relieved when she saw me, but I could tell she was agitated. “These motherfuckers reckless. I almost just smacked a bitch. Hoe gone step on my feet and instead of trying to say sorry, she had the nerve to jump bad. Before I knew it, I reached for that hoe’s throat. Lucky for her, Walter grabbed me.” Walter was one of the bouncers at the club; he knew us well because of Kirk. “I swear these hoes don’t know.” Secret’s face was red, and I was getting red, too.
“Where she at?” I glanced around. I was ready to choke her myself. I hated getting upset, but I could not stand a disrespectful chick who wanted to try somebody in public. Stunting for the crowd. I would smack them myself. And after fighting my way through the vicious crowd, I could stand to hit somebody.
“That hoe gone. She got some since I skipped her TJMaxx–shopping ass right on up outta here.”
“Good,” I added. I also decided not to share with Secret the fact that I thought I had seen Bobbi. Secret hated him. She would probably search the club and crowd just to find him, and lord knows what ill will she might bring down on him.
At home, I climbed into bed and replayed the quick glance over and over in my head. Soon I knew the truth. I was tripping. There was no way in the world Bobbi had the nerve to come back to Miami. Besides, he had gotten what he wanted. I was sure he was somewhere off living the good life or planning to rob another poor chick blind. Either way, he was the last person I ever wanted to see. And I hoped to never lay eyes him on again.
Chapter 8
Isis
“Where you been at?” I questioned Secret. I was at Hot Rides as usual, doing some paperwork and spot-checking a few things. It was noon, and Secret casually strolled into the office. “I called you about three times last night, and you had your phone going straight to voice mail.” I hated that she did that sometimes. I would worry. But I tried not to, knowing she went ghost sometimes when she was on one.
“Sorry ’bout that. I was at Calvin’s house messing off. Then I left my phone charger at home. And Calvin was hiding his from me, talkin’ ’bout he can’t never spend no time with me when I come around ’cause people always callin’ me. But you know I check his ass, right?”
“Well, you must didn’t do a good job if he still didn’t give you his charger,” I added.
“I know he had the upper hand last night. ’Cause you know I didn’t want to go home alone.” She pouted.
“Really, Secret, you still on that? I’ma need you to get over it and now. Penny is gone for good. Face the facts, she done had a piece of freedom. She ain’t movin’ back in wit’ you.” I had to keep it real.
“I know.” She continued to pout. I couldn’t help but smile at her. You would think Penny was the older sister and Secret the baby. She just couldn’t let go. “So why were you blowing up my phone, anyway?”
“Kirk was callin’. He wanted us to do a quick delivery around ten his morning to this church. He donated twenty thousand dollars, and he wanted us to deliver it. He said he’d been callin’ you, of course, too. So since you were nowhere to be found, I had to do it by myself.”
“My bad. Calvin kept me up and busy.” Secret giggled.
“I guess that’s why you walkin’ around in two-thousand-dollar sunglasses and ain’t no sun out. Because all I can see from my window is gray clouds that’s brewing a storm.” I observed the weather.
“No doubt. But the sun is shining inside me.” We both laughed.
“You are so crazy.”
“For real, though. What’s up with the club? When we gone hit it up again? It’s been two weeks; I ain’t tryin’ to let no long time pass again. That night out did me all kinds of good.”
“I know I enjoyed it. But I got to go shopping first. Grab me some new fits.”
“Maybe if you stayed away from this damn place for two damn minutes, you could shop and some more.” Her statement hit home. She was right: I spent too much time up in Hot Rides, way more time than I needed.
“You right. I agree, but for right now, at this very moment, I would settle for some Starbucks. I didn’t have none this morning because Kirk and his timing threw me off. He came by the house and dropped off the check, but I had to drive thirty minutes both ways to drop it off.”
“Man, that’s brutal. I know how you are about that coffee.”
“You already know. So what I need for you to do is finish up this paperwork for me. I’m sleepy, so I’ma run and get me some Starbucks tea. I don’t want to drink coffee this time of day; I’m already anxious enough. Then I’m going home. I’ll be back tomorrow.” I wasted no time removing myself from my chair.
“You do that. I got you.” Secret pulled off her sunglasses and sat down in my spot.
I wasted no time getting up out of Hot Rides. I was craving Starbucks. I pulled into an empty parking spot and made my way inside. Thankfully, it was not packed. I jumped straight in line and placed my order. I was always all smiles when I thanked the cashier when she placed my passion fruit tea in my hand. I couldn’t wait to sit down in my car and take my first sip. With my tea in my hand, I turned swiftly to make my exit. Stunned, I dropped my entire cup as I came face-to-face with my past: Bobbi. I had to be dreaming, but there was too much moving around me, and the cashier was calling me “ma’am” behind me. I glared at him, and the room seemed to spin. I tried to gather my composure, but I started to feel seasick. For the first time, I realized that I had dropped my tea. I glared down at it, spilled out all over the floor in puddles. Then suddenly, I had the urge to get out of there. Sidestepping the puddle, I made a beeline for the door.
I could hear Bobbi yelling my name in an attempt to stop me, but that only made me increase my pace. Once inside my car, I could see
him in my rearview mirror as I put my car in reverse. Burning rubber out of the parking lot, I sped off down the street at top speed. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking. I pulled over a few blocks later to try to calm my nerves. It took a few minutes, but I took a few deep breaths and continued to check my mirror to make sure he hadn’t followed me. I was only able to calm down a little; I was still a bit shaky.
After pouring myself a glass of wine as soon as I got home, I sat down on my couch, undecided what I should do next. I thought about the club, when I thought I had caught a glimpse of him. I was right all along; it was definitely him. Was it coincidence that I had run into him twice? Either way, I needed to take action. Twice I picked up my cell phone to dial Secret, but each time, I laid it back down. One thing I knew for sure: Secret despised Bobbi. I worried about what she might do. The last thing I needed was her making a rash decision that might land her behind bars. Not that he didn’t deserve it for what he had done to me; I still had a hard time accepting the fact that he could betray me like he had.
Bobbi and I had been close. We did everything together, and I was there for him when he didn’t have anyone. I really believed we shared a bond. But it had all been a lie. Instead of him having my back, he was out making calculated and criminal moves against me. Just thinking about it made me angry and hurt all over again. But it also opened my eyes and made me understand Bobbi was not ever to be trusted. Never. I hadn’t known what he was truly capable of, and he had proved that to me the best way a person could.
With all the thoughts and trips down memory lane, recalling what had happened, I soon felt drained and climbed into bed. I prayed sleep would find me, but my mind was too jumbled. I lay in the bed for hours, unable to sleep. Somewhere during the night sleep must have claimed me, though, because I woke up to my curtains still open and the sun shining bright. Sitting up in bed, I knew just what I had to do. I called up Mike P and drove out to see him. I did the unthinkable: I bought myself a gun. I had to be sure I was safe at all times.
Chapter 9
Secret
“Retail therapy, hunny, exactly what we needed. I can be in here all day.” Isis and I were in Saks Fifth picking up a few things. And for one, I was happy. Shopping was what I did; I loved spending money. It released stress and gave me life.
“Secret, you shop every day, the last thing you need is retail therapy.” Isis twisted up her lips at me. “Now me, on the other hand, it’s been a while.”
“That’s because you stay tied up under the damn desk at Hot Rides like a slave.”
“I do work too much, huh?” Isis asked.
“Way too much.” I kept it real. We were looking at purses. Isis hadn’t said much while we browsed, and I wondered if anything was up. “What’s up with you, though? You have been kinda quiet lately.”
“Oh, I’m cool, just maybe a little tired. After work I be staying up, catching up on my television shows since I don’t have time to watch them when they come on.”
“Well, you know how to solve that. Go home sometimes.” I paused as I spotted the Burberry bag Penny had been asking about. “This the bag Penny been buggin’ me about. I’m gone get it.”
“It is a bad bag,” Isis agreed, checking it out.
“Aye, I’m going to get this bag and fill it up full of money and take it over to surprise Penny.” I had already given her like twenty-five hundred a month as spending money for whatever she needed. Not to mention I always took her shopping for whatever she wanted. So this money would be just like a bonus. I was just glad to see her happy with life.
“Now you know she gone like that. ’Cause you know she love money.”
“I think she gets that from me.” I laughed.
“So I been thinking about what you said about we need to get out more. You know work hard, play harder.”
“Right, so what’s up?” I was ready to hear what she had to say; anything that had to do with fun I was all in.
“Well, I was thinkin’ instead of hittin’ up the club, we do it bigger. Like take a trip to Las Vegas for a week or so. You know, sin city.” Isis smiled, and I was actually surprised that she had come up with something so different. Because, lately, you had to damn near drag her out of the house or away from work with a bomb threat. I was down, but her timing was off.
“Bitch, go to Vegas while Kirk tryin’ to be the kingpin. You know he ain’t tryin’ to have us leave the city, especially for no five days. That nigga would lose his mind.”
Isis laughed at my dramatics, but I was keeping it real. “You right,” she agreed. “But we got to make it happen. Maybe not right this second, but we have to.”
“But what’s really good, though? You must be holdin’ somethin’ out on me. ’Cause I can’t believe you tryin’ to go somewhere, Ms. Workaholic.”
“Hey, I’m just ready to get out of Miami for a minute. We have been here our whole lives, born and raised. Don’t get it twisted, this is my city and I love it. But it’s time we explore beyond; let’s do something different.”
“I hear you, and I’m wit’ it all the way. We just have to wait on the right timing wit’ everything goin’ on. So until then, we just gone have to chill.”
“I agree.” Isis was on the same page as I was.
After Isis chose some outfits, I paid for the Burberry bag and a few things for myself then headed out. I ran by the bank to withdraw some money for Penny’s bag. I didn’t feel like driving home to get into the safe for cash. I kept at least sixty thousand in cash in the safe at all times for just-incase matters. But for the most part, all of my money was in safe deposit boxes in different banks. I placed the ten thousand dollars from the box inside the Burberry bag and headed over to Penny’s crib. I couldn’t wait to see the excitement on her face when she saw the bag and the money inside.
I was excited as I rang the doorbell to her apartment. I had a key, but I had promised to respect her privacy and only use the key if I had to. The front door swung open, and my smile faded, my blood pressure shot up, and I’m sure it showed on my bloodred face; my hands became so weak I almost dropped the Saks Fifth bag that carried that Burberry bag filled with money. I was completely speechless as I stared into my mother’s white, familiar face. But I snapped back quickly as my mother, Jackie, moved her lips to speak.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Jackie?” I screamed so loudly my entire body seemed to shake. “Answer me,” I demanded, then pushed past her.
“Penny invited me.” Her tone was calm and steady, and that infuriated me. I looked around and didn’t see any sign of Penny. I faced Jackie. I needed her to see I meant what I said so that there was no misunderstanding.
“Guess what . . . it don’t matter how you ended up here, you ain’t welcome. That’s coming straight from me. So get out.” I pointed toward the door with my free hand.
“But . . .”
“Ain’t no fuckin’ buts, Jackie.” I twisted my lips at her. “I pay the bills, so what I say goes. Now leave.”
“Secret.” I heard Penny call my name from behind me. I kept my eyes glued to Jackie for a minute longer before half-turning to face Penny. “Calm down.”
“Girl, don’t tell me to calm down. Jackie, get your ass out of here now. I ain’t playin’,” I yelled again, this time louder.
“I told her to come here. She didn’t just do it on her own,” Penny tried to explain.
Jackie still stood, staring at me. “Is there something the matter wit’ yo’ feet or your hearing? I’m being nice.”
I placed my left hand on my hip; then Penny grabbed it and started pulling me toward the back, to her room. I kept my eyes on Jackie until we turned the corner.
“What, Penny?” I yanked myself free of her grasp once in her bedroom. “Draggin’ me an’ shit.” I straightened my composure.
“Would you just listen to me for one minute, please. Dang.” Penny sighed as if she had the nerve to be annoyed.
“Make it quick, so I can get Jackie the fuck up outta here
.” My patience was on edge.
“Listen, she called me saying that she was hungry and didn’t have money or food. And that she was homeless. Now, regardless how we feel about her, she is our mother. So I invited her over for a while.”
“Are you done? Now first off, she ain’t shit to me, or you, for that matter,” I reminded her. I couldn’t believe she had even said that to me.
“She is, Secret. You know it’s true.” Now I was pissed all over again.
“Don’t say that shit to me no more. Now I don’t give a fuck where she goes. But she gone get the fuck up outta here,” I screamed. Upset, I tried to push past Penny as she blocked the door. “Move out of my way, Penny,” I demanded.
With all of her weight, Penny dropped to the floor onto her knees in front of me. “Please, Secret, please don’t make her leave.” She looked up into my eyes and begged me. “Do it for me.”
“Hell, no.” I held strong.
Penny placed her arms around both my legs. “I need her right now, Secret.” I looked down at her, and tears were streaming down her face. I was confused.
I asked, “Why?”
Loosening her grip on my legs, she shrugged her shoulders. But something in me shifted when, for the first time, I saw the sadness that had plagued Penny after the kidnapping. I felt so guilty. How had I missed it? I was so sure it was gone, but there it was.
Handing her the Saks Fifth bag that I still gripped in my hand, I gave up. “The Burberry purse you wanted is inside. It’s filled with cash. Put it away in the safe I brought you.” I felt as if all the fight had been knocked out of me, for the moment. I stepped around her, pulled on the bedroom doorknob, and exited. Back in the living room, I headed for the door without looking in Jackie’s direction. With my back to her, Jackie tried to call my name, but I ignored her. Opening the front door, I stepped outside into the Miami heat and thanked God for the fresh air, then slammed the door so hard I think I felt the apartment shake.
