She looked at him, he was gazing intently at her. ‘You were having a bad day.’
‘That’s no excuse.’
‘Well,’ he said softly, ‘I forgive you.’
Sam couldn’t hold his gaze any longer. She glanced around and noticed a video case on the coffee table. She leaned forward to pick it up.
‘This is what you were watching?’
He shrugged. ‘Just filling in time.’
She looked at him sideways and read off the back of the case, affecting a dramatic voiceover. ‘This is the story of a crack squad of elite commandoes who were destined to become America’s only hope in a power-packed struggle for freedom, set against the backdrop of a world gone mad . . .’
Hal looked at her blankly. ‘Were you trying to sound like an American then?’
‘Maybe,’ she said cagily.
‘Ah, you see, where you guys go wrong is that we don’t actually have an accent.’
‘Ha!’ Sam scoffed. ‘Neither do we.’
‘No, Crocodile Dundee, I’m afraid you do. If you want to sound American, you just have to drop your accent. Then you’ll sound normal.’
Sam laughed, shaking her head. She looked back at the case. ‘What is a “crack” squad, anyway? They’re always “crack” squads. What does that mean?’
‘I don’t know.’
They fell silent. She put the video back on the coffee table. Eventually Hal cleared his throat.
‘Do you want to talk about it, Sam?’
She looked at him sideways. ‘Well, the more important question is probably, do you want to hear about it?’
‘Of course I do.’ He looked at her intently. Sam believed him.
She sighed. ‘I found out today that not only does my husband want to divorce me, but he’s having a baby with his new partner.’ Her voice broke a little as she said the words. She took a large gulp of her wine. ‘And after that, I had to take a friend who was having a miscarriage to the hospital because her bastard of a husband had a meeting.’
Hal sighed loudly. ‘You did have a bad day.’ He stood up. ‘I’ll get you another drink.’
He walked into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine, topping up Sam’s glass for her. He left the bottle on the coffee table.
‘So,’ he said, sitting down again, ‘you don’t want a divorce?’
‘Oh, it’s not that. I know it’s inevitable. It’s just such an awful feeling. Like, that’s it. All those years, for nothing. A magistrate somewhere can just stamp the papers and it’s like it never happened.’
‘I don’t think it means that,’ he said gently.
She shrugged. ‘I suppose.’
He was watching her closely. ‘And the baby? That bothers you?’
Sam took a tremulous breath. ‘I don’t know why, but it does. I mean, we weren’t going to have any more children, even if we’d stayed together. But he’s going to have a whole other family now. Where are my kids going to fit into that? I don’t want them to be hurt any more.’ Sam blinked back tears, swallowing down some more wine. ‘I shouldn’t be telling you this –’
‘If you say “it’s not appropriate”, you know I may have to kill you.’
Sam smiled sheepishly. ‘I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say that I feel bad always dumping stuff on you. Why do you let me do that?’
He shrugged. ‘I’m a good listener. Despite the fact that I’m a man.’
‘And you’re a good man,’ Sam said quietly.
He gazed at her, reaching his arm across the back of the sofa to touch her cheek gently. ‘You’re not so bad yourself.’
Sam held her breath. This was getting way too intimate.
‘Are you sure you don’t have any chocolate?’ she chirped, jumping to her feet. She threw back the rest of the wine in her glass and felt it go straight to her head. She remembered she’d had hardly eaten a thing all day. She walked around the bench into the kitchen and opened the fridge, peering in. ‘Not even for emergencies?’
‘Exactly what kind of emergency calls for chocolate?’ Hal had followed her and was leaning against the bench, watching her.
‘Well, d’oh! Any emergency of course,’ Sam exclaimed. ‘What’s with all the fruit and yoghurt? Are you some kind of a health nut?’ She opened the freezer. ‘Not even any ice cream?’
‘Sorry.’
She turned around to look at him. ‘I thought you Americans only ate junk food?’
‘Yeah, and what was that about Australians wrestling crocodiles while they’re still in diapers?’ he returned.
‘They’re called nappies,’ Sam corrected him, closing the fridge and leaning back against the door.
‘No, they’re called crocodiles,’ said Hal guilelessly. ‘I’m quite certain about that. And you don’t have alligators in this country.’
Sam pulled a face. ‘I was referring to your use of the word “diaper”. The correct term is nappy.’
‘You know, the population of the US is about ten times the size of this country’s, and you’re telling me which is the correct term?’
‘Yeah, well, you know what they say. Size isn’t everything,’ she retorted.
‘But no one really believes that.’
Sam glanced at him. He was waving the red flag of sexual innuendo right in her face. She turned to the pantry cupboard and opened the doors. ‘Do you have any cooking chocolate? Chocolate chips?’
Hal shook his head. ‘Do you think I bake on the weekends?’
‘Don’t be sexist, Hal. Most of the world’s best chefs are men,’ she said tartly. She surveyed the scant contents of the pantry. ‘You are a health nut, there’s only cereal in here.’ She stepped onto one of the lower shelves and tested her weight on it.
‘What are you doing, Sam?’ Hal asked, watching her climb up the shelves of the pantry.
‘Surely you must have something with chocolate in it.’
‘You’re going to fall,’ he warned. She felt his hands on her waist, steadying her. ‘Come on down from there.’
Sam stepped down carefully, his hands still supporting her. She turned around to face him but he didn’t release her, so her arms had nowhere to rest but along his. They were standing close, breathing hard, staring intently at each other. Sam felt lightheaded.
‘Why are you here?’ Hal said in a low voice.
Sam swallowed. ‘I can’t tell you unless you have CIA clearance.’
She saw the glint in his eye. ‘I think it’s because you decided you like me a little, after all.’
‘You’ve always had tickets on yourself . . .’ She stared at his lips as they drew nearer. ‘Don’t kiss me,’ she breathed.
‘What made you think,’ he murmured, their faces close, ‘that I was going to kiss you . . .’ he finished as his lips came down onto hers. Hal was kissing her. She was kissing him back. It was really happening. He gathered her close to him as she brought her arms up around his neck. Her mind started to race. What now? Where would this lead? Did she want it to go there? Was she ready for that? But her thoughts were overcome by sensations, the way his lips felt, softly caressing hers, the way his mouth tasted. Sam wanted to savour this, not analyse it. Hal brought one hand up to cup her face, his thumb stroking her cheek, as she felt him retreating, slowly, drawing back from her mouth while still holding her body close to his, their lips gradually parting, hesitantly, reluctantly. She opened her eyes and he was staring down at her tenderly. He smoothed his thumb across her bottom lip.
‘I’ve wanted to do that for such a long time,’ he said softly.
Sam’s heart jumped into her throat. ‘Well,’ she swallowed. ‘You’d better not do it again.’
She saw the glimmer in his eyes as he covered her mouth with his own again, their lips moving against each other, their tongues slow dancing to some innate rhythm. Sam felt intoxicated. She couldn’t remember kissing ever feeling like this. She didn’t know how long they stayed there, crushed up against the pantry cupboard, but the sensations pervaded
her entire body until she felt almost delirious. She heard herself moan as she pressed herself hard against his torso, lifting one leg to slide the inside of her thigh against him.
‘Oh Sam,’ he groaned. They were both breathing heavily as he cradled her head with both hands, covering her face with soft, lingering kisses. Sam had not expected this. She didn’t realise how much she wanted him, how much she must have been suppressing it. But she couldn’t any more. She started to tremble, imagining him pulsing inside her, their bodies meshed together. She thought her knees were going to give way.
‘Hal,’ she breathed.
‘Mm,’ he murmured, his mouth moving to her ear.
‘Don’t . . . take me . . . to bed.’
He stopped suddenly, drawing back to look at her. ‘Sam,’ he said gently. ‘Are you sure?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, um, I mean no. What’s the right answer?’
He was searching her eyes. ‘Whatever you say it is.’
Sam smiled shyly, taking his hand and leading him out of the kitchen and across the living room. But she hesitated at the door to his bedroom. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, then he pushed the door open, taking the lead now, walking her inside. Sam stared at the vast bed. It must have been king size, she hadn’t really noticed when she was in here before. Now she was taking in every detail. The bedside lamps were both turned on. She wished they weren’t. The light was only dim, but she was going to have to get naked. It couldn’t get dim enough. She didn’t know if she was going to be able to go through with this. What had happened since they left the kitchen? She would have let him jump her there on the floor if he had tried.
Hal turned her around and tilted her face towards him, bringing his lips down onto hers, melting away her trepidation. Then she felt his hands move down to the first button on the shirt. She automatically reached to stop him.
‘What’s the matter?’ he said gently.
‘Oh nothing, sorry.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m just nervous, you know?’
He held both her hands and kissed them one at a time. ‘Sam, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.’
She looked up at him.
‘We could just get into bed and hold each other and go to sleep.’
Sam frowned. ‘You’d actually be able to do that?’
He smiled at her. ‘Probably not, but it sounded noble, don’t you think?’
She smiled back. She took a deep breath and started to undo the buttons herself, one at a time, five altogether. Hal bent to kiss her, sliding his hands under the shirt across her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.
‘Um, sorry about the sensible underwear,’ she stammered. ‘I didn’t expect . . . anyone . . . would be seeing it.’
‘Well, okay, I’ll overlook it just this once.’ He smiled indulgently. ‘Sam, you’re beautiful, whatever you’re wearing, or not wearing,’ he said, pulling her close against him as he nuzzled into her neck, sending little shots of electricity right through her body. Let go, just let go, she told herself. Then she felt him tugging gently at the clasp of her bra and she froze again, pulling away.
‘What is it?’
‘Oh, Hal, it’s just . . .’ She clasped her arms awkwardly in front of herself. ‘Well, let’s just say I’ve got to that age where I look better with clothes on.’
‘I’m afraid I’d have to argue with you there.’ He considered her for a moment. ‘Would it help if I took my shirt off?’
She smiled shyly. ‘It wouldn’t hurt.’
He lifted his T-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He looked just like she’d imagined. Broad-shouldered, nicely muscled but lean, with a fine spray of hair covering his chest. Sam moved closer to him and laid her cheek against his skin, listening to his heartbeat. He smelled so good. He folded his arms around her, stroking her hair.
‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured. ‘This must be getting annoying.’
‘It’s okay, sweetheart. There’s no hurry.’
He called her sweetheart. She looked up at him. ‘You know I’ve only ever been with Jeff. Except for this one other time with this really horrible man from work, I can barely remember it. It was just after Jeff and I split up, and I was completely drunk.’ She took a breath. ‘Oh God, you must think I’m terrible.’
‘I don’t think you’re terrible.’
‘The thing is, I’m probably not very good at it. I have barely any experience. I was only a schoolgirl . . .’
‘Relax,’ said Hal. ‘I’m an expert. I have sex with lots of women, all the time.’
Sam’s eyes widened.
‘I’m joking,’ he smiled, smoothing her hair back from her face. He took a breath. ‘Okay, true confessions. There was an old girlfriend I hooked up with in New York after I left Lisa. I thought it’d help. It didn’t. There hasn’t been anyone else since.’
Sam stared at him. She hoped she wasn’t being naïve, but he was looking down at her with so much tenderness, she found herself believing him. She took a step back and reached behind with both hands, deftly unlatching her bra and letting it drop to the floor. Hal breathed out audibly. She watched his eyes flicker across her body.
‘You were wrong, you know,’ he said huskily.
‘What about?’
‘You don’t look better with clothes on.’ He drew her close to him and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Sam relished the feeling of his skin against hers. She responded to his kisses, matching his urgency, trembling as he lowered her onto the bed. He lay at her side, drawing his thigh across hers, as one hand glided over her skin, lingering at her breast before continuing downwards, tantalisingly, to stroke her belly, his fingers hovering along the edge of her pants. Sam drew her breath in sharply. She watched him, watching her. He was gazing adoringly at her body, but she didn’t feel self-conscious. He was making her believe that she was beautiful. She wanted to turn all her thoughts off now and just go with it. He lowered his head and she felt his mouth on her breast as his hand reached her inner thigh, caressing the skin, excruciatingly sensitive to his touch. Sam heard herself moan with pleasure.
Then suddenly he stopped, resting his head against her chest. ‘Dammit,’ he muttered.
‘What is it?’
He lifted his head to look at her. ‘Sam, I don’t have any, you know, protection.’
She smiled. For some reason that pleased her. Besides, all was not lost.
‘Get my handbag,’ she said in a low voice. ‘It’s at the end of the bed.’
He rolled over and picked up the bag, passing it to her. She peered inside, feeling around until she found the condom. ‘Here,’ she said, handing it to him.
‘Well, you’re a bundle of surprises.’
She smiled. ‘That’s it, though, that’s all I have.’
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘We’ll just have to make it last.’
And he did. He aroused Sam beyond what she had felt for a long time, if ever. He moved his hands and mouth across every part of her body, stroking, caressing, exploring, until she couldn’t bear it any longer. All the blood in her entire body felt as though it had rushed to her pelvis, and she ached to feel him inside her. She arched herself against him, parting her thighs and wrapping them around him. He didn’t hold back any longer. And as he thrust inside her over and over, Sam lost herself completely. No more thoughts, only feelings. Intense, exquisite, explosive. And then they reached the place, fused together, muscles locked, crying out, before falling back to earth, slowly, breathing hard, collapsing against each other. Sam felt tears welling and she let them flow. She wasn’t sad, or maybe she was. Sad, and happy, and exhilarated.
Hal lifted his head to look at her. ‘Are you okay?’
She nodded.
He wiped a tear away from her cheek. ‘What’s this then?’
‘I’m just happy.’
‘I’m glad you’re happy,’ he said, staring intently into her eyes. ‘I want you to be happy.’
And then he kissed her, a long, slow, linge
ring, wonderful kiss. Sam was floating. She wanted this to last forever.
‘Stay right here,’ he said after a while. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ He kissed her lightly as he drew away, moving off the bed. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Sam sighed deeply. Now what? No, don’t start to think, just hang onto the feeling. She closed her eyes, but the thoughts took over like gatecrashers at a party. What did this mean? Was this the start of something? Or just two consenting adults doing what consenting adults do? What was she supposed to do now? Stay or go? She was a grown woman, for godsakes, and she didn’t know the rules. How was she supposed to know what to do next?
Sam glanced down at her naked body and rolled over, pulling the covers around her. She had felt like the bloody Venus de Milo only moments ago. Hal had made her feel like that. But now she felt self-conscious again. She stared out the window. The venetian blinds were slanted open and she could see the silhouette of the city against the night sky.
She heard the tap running in the bathroom and then stop. The door opened and Hal must have flicked a light switch because the lamps went out. He climbed in behind her and slid across, spooning himself into her back.
‘What are you thinking about?’ he murmured softly into her ear.
‘Oh, I was just wondering if there was someone with a telescope trained on us in one of those buildings.’
‘Well, I hope they enjoyed the show. Not as much as I did,’ he finished, nuzzling into her neck.
‘Hal?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Maybe I should go?’
He lifted his head and she turned to look up at him.
‘Do you have to?’ he frowned slightly. ‘Where are the kids?’
‘At Jeff’s.’
‘Are you having regrets?’
She shook her head. ‘Are you?’ she asked tentatively.
He stroked a lock of hair away from her forehead. ‘Just that there was only one condom.’
Sam smiled faintly and turned back to stare out of the window again as Hal pressed his lips against her shoulder. That wasn’t very romantic. He just wished they could have done it again. She supposed she did as well, but was there anything else? Was it more than just sex for him too?
Wife for Hire Page 39
