by David Menon
‘I’ve got to have something to take the attention away from me’.
Callum first met Rosie a couple of years ago when she called him out to fix the heating in her flat. He had his business as an electrician and worked bloody hard at it. He had a van in which he drove around to clients with all his equipment in the back and lately he’d had to turn business away which he took as a good sign as far as his reputation was concerned. There was a lot of word of mouth in his industry and the fact that he took pride in doing a good job must be paying off.
At Rosie’s flat that day she’d made a complete fool of herself by answering the door in a drunken state. He’d been wary of going in. She seemed like something of a handful and he didn’t want to be falsely accused of assault or something. But it was the middle of January and pretty cold outside and without any of the electricity powered heating the flat felt like an ice box. So he’d gone in and braved it. And sure enough she’d tried it on with him whilst he was on his back with his head under her sink unit. That’s when he’d had to tell her that he was gay and that even though she was a great girl he wasn’t and never could be interested. He’d never been one to broadcast his sexuality from the rooftops but there were times when he had to declare his hand without leaving any room for any doubt. But like most gay men when faced with a damsel in distress, and Rosie had sobbed her heart out after she’d learned that she was batting a losing wicket with him, he proceeded to take charge and make them both some coffee. They talked for a while once he’d been able to restore her power and that’s when she’d told him that she hated herself because of something that had happened in her childhood. But even though they’d become firm friends after that, even to the point of spending each Christmas together, she’d never elaborated on what she’d said on that first meeting and Callum had never felt like he should ask. It was probably the kind of thing that she had to feel ready about telling him.
‘Why am I going to this thing this afternoon anyway?’ asked a perplexed sounding Rosie.
‘Because I invited you and that’s because you’re my best friend who doesn’t get out much which in your case is hardly at all’.
‘Bitch’.
‘Oh you’re heaps better at that than me’.
‘Thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment. So will they all be there?’
‘My cousin Nathan will be there, yes’ said Callum.
‘Well it is at his parent’s house so I suppose that is to be expected’ said Rosie. ‘And his two sisters? Your cousins Debbie and Lisa?’
‘Well yes of course they’ll be there. They live there and don’t be so hard on them’.
‘Oh well you’ve got to admit they weren’t even in the queue when interesting personalities were being handed out’.
Callum laughed despite himself. He loved his cousins dearly but they could be rather dull.
‘And which one is getting married to the Maths teacher?’ Rosie went on.
‘That’s Debbie’.
‘A girl who stays at home until she gets married. I ask you? That’s beyond last century’.
Callum was still laughing. ‘Well at least you won’t have to suffer Debbie’s fiancé Derek. He’s at some teacher’s union conference in Birmingham and won’t be back until Tuesday’.
‘And your parents?’
‘My Dad has got a social thing on at work’ Callum explained. ‘So my Mum is going with him’.
‘And where’s your darling Angus?’
‘The team are two matches away from clinching the league championship’ said Callum, excitedly. ‘So naturally he’s gone with them for today’s match. He’s coming back tonight though’.
‘So I’ll need to turn into a pumpkin at midnight then?’
‘Well a little before then. You don’t mind, do you?’
‘You know I don’t’.
‘Have you heard from your sister lately?’
‘No and I wouldn’t welcome any communication from her as you know’.
‘Yes but I don’t know why’.
‘Look, we came out of the same womb after being created by the same father’s sperm but that’s where the similarity ends. She turned her back on me when I really needed her, Callum. And I’m not talking about refusing to lend me any money when I was flat broke or crying over a boyfriend who’d dumped me, not that I’ve ever really had a boyfriend as such but you know what I mean’.
‘So what was it all about? It sounds pretty heavy’.
‘About as heavy as it can get in families’ said Rosie, quietly. ‘But not now, Callum. You’re a good friend, the best ever, but I need you to trust me on this one. I will tell you one day’.
‘Okay, but just one thing. You’ve cut yourself off from your parents as well as your sister Kaitlin. Why is that?’
‘Because they, especially my father, instigated what happened to me and my mother did nothing to stop it. And what happened to me didn’t happen to Kaitlin. Now read between those lines, Callum and you’ll be able to work it out. And you’ll see why it’s difficult for me to talk about. You might also be able to see why I’m the screwed up bitch that I am’.
A few minutes silence followed in the car whilst Rosie finished off applying her make-up and Callum digested what she’d said and looked for what she hadn’t said. She had more or less confirmed what he’d suspected for some time that she had been sexually abused as a child and that it somehow involved her father. His heart really went out to her. She was such a pretty young woman and today in her white lace trimmed top over a very short denim skirt she’d be the one at the barbecue who every married or attached heterosexual man would have to pretend not to be looking at. Most of her sexual liasions had been with married men. She’d looked on them as like a safety net because they wouldn’t expect her to give them all the romantic kind of stuff that had scared the bloody shit out of her. She hadn’t been able to let any man get that close. A night in her veins was all she’d been able to give a man. But Callum had decided that he was going to take her on as a mission. If his theories about her early life were true then she deserved more than most to be happy. He wanted her to be as happy as he was and he was deliriously happy. He couldn’t believe how lucky he’d been to meet Angus. Not only was he big, tall and handsome but he was clever, intelligent and knew exactly where he wanted to go in life. He ran a sports equipment business and was co-owner with his brother of a local rugby league team. He also had a very tender, loving side and when he held Callum in his arms there was nowhere else in the world Callum would rather be. He wanted to find a straight man to make Rosie feel on top of the world just like Angus made him feel but he really would need to sort her out first. He’d tried to match her up with a couple of his straight mates but she’d proved too much like hard work for either of them. She’d never turned up to a date sober and she’d always passed out before the end of the evening. Not very good when you’re trying to get to know someone.
But Rosie had started seeing someone. They weren’t having what could be described as a conventional relationship and weren’t joined at the hip but they understood each other. She couldn’t tell even Callum about him yet though. Not until she was sure.
Callum managed to make the right turn off this time and minutes later he pulled up outside his Aunt and Uncle’s house in Worsley. It was a wide road lined with numerous trees and there were already half a dozen cars parked outside. The dark blue and white Scottish flag was flying proudly from its fixture by an upstairs window. The sight of it irked Rosie. Okay, so it was only to be expected since the barbecue had been organised by the local Scottish society of which Callum’s Aunt Fiona and Uncle Hamish were leading members but for fuck’s sake. It was going to be unbearable enough because the whole reason for the get together was to watch England play Italy in the European cup qualifiers and of course the crowd here would be rooting for Italy. Never fucking mind that they’d all made very comfortable lives for themselves in England.
‘Rosie, there’s something I need to ask you?’
said Callum as he lifted a crate of beers out of the boot of his car.
‘Yea?’ asked Rosie who had the two bottles of wine she was bringing in her bag. ‘Will you be my bridesmaid when Angus and I get hitched?’.
‘What? You mean Angus has proposed to you? Oh Callum how could you have kept that from me?’ She rushed over and put her arms round him before giving him a big kiss. ‘Of course I’ll be your bridesmaid. I’m so happy for you. Have you set a date?’.
‘Not yet’ Callum answered. ‘But it won’t be long. We’re already living together’.
‘Does everyone here today know?’
Callum balanced the crate of beers on his shoulder in order to carry them into the house. ‘Aunt Fiona and Uncle Hamish don’t have a problem with people being gay at all and neither do my parents as you know. But some of the crowd in there are … well I wouldn’t say homophobic as such but they’re Catholics and very traditional ones. They’re totally opposed to equal marriage and I just didn’t want to make it awkward for my aunt and uncle’.
‘Marriage is about the love between two people, regardless of gender or anything else’ said Rosie. ‘End of’.
‘I know but sometimes with families you have to turn up at gatherings like this without a loaded gun’.
Rosie was about to respond when her phone played its little jingle that told her she had a message. She looked at it and smiled. ‘Well what do you know? It’s my hot police officer brother-in-law Ben’.
‘The one married to your sister Kaitlin?’
‘That’s him’.
‘So what does he want?’
Rosie scrolled down to get the complete message. ‘He wants me to meet him on Monday. He says he needs to speak to me about something and that it’s urgent. He also says I’ve not to tell anyone, especially not my sister Kaitlin or any other member of my family. Well I haven’t spoken to any of them in months so that’s easy. But I wonder what he wants and why it’s so cloak and dagger?’
‘I guess you’ll have to wait until Monday to find out’.
‘She’d better not have been … the bloody bitch’.
‘What?’
‘Well this is something I can tell you about. Kaitlin hits Ben. And I don’t mean the odd slap across the face. She goes for bloody gold with her fists and her feet. I tell you Callum, scratch the surface of my family and you’ll be in for a fair few surprises that even the best psychologist would have trouble getting their head around’.
The barbecue had been going for a couple of hours and Callum was relieved that Rosie hadn’t caused any full-blown rows. The closest she’d come to it was when she virtually hounded an old woman called Jesse asking her if she had regular exploratories to keep her looking so young as if that would have anything to do with it. Callum and his cousin Nathan were hysterical with laughter when they overheard Rosie questioning poor Jesse as if she was some reporter from the BBC.
‘No dear’ said Jesse. ‘Do you have them?’
‘What? No way! You’re not getting a camera up my … ‘
Callum and Nathan took an arm each and guided Rosie out into the back garden where they found a quiet spot and sat themselves down on the lawn.
‘You spoil sports!’ said Rosie as the three of them sat their giggling.
‘That poor Jesse though’ said Nathan. ‘She got married in Glasgow back in the sixties and she and her husband came down here like they all did for better work prospects. The only trouble was that her husband died of cancer a couple of years after they moved and they’d had their daughter Liz. Jesse decided to stay and bring Liz up here but my Gran says that she hasn’t had any relationships with men since. So she’s gone all that time without cock which is probably why she could do with a camera going up there if nothing else then for the sensation’.
The three of them were laughing and then Rosie said that of the three of them she was the only one who wasn’t getting any cock. It was all part of the cover up of her burgeoning relationship. She couldn’t tell anyone yet even though she would love to. It just wasn’t possible.
‘Well I’m getting plenty’ said Callum and it was true. He and Angus were going through the stage of not being able to keep their hands off each other.
‘And I’m not doing too badly’ said Nathan.
‘Yes, how it’s all going with Mr. high profile married man?’ asked Rosie.
‘Shush! You’re the only two people who know about me and Ken. And it has to stay that way’.
Nathan was from the clever branch of the family when it came to academia but neither Callum nor Rosie thought he had any common sense in other aspects of his life. He’d got a first class degree in politics from Manchester university and had gone to work as the constituency office manager for Ken Stratton, who was the Conservative MP for North Cheshire. He was from the more populist wing of the party and a practising Christian who was passionately against equal marriage. He was also married with three children but that hadn’t stopped him from pursuing Nathan until he’d finally got him into bed. Now he kept a toothbrush and other toiletries plus some clothing at Nathan’s flat to make it easier for them to spend time together within a tight working and, for Ken, social schedule. Sometimes Nathan would have to literally sit by the phone of an evening waiting for a call that didn’t always come.
‘Oh don’t look at me like that you two’ said Nathan who could feel another lecture coming on.
‘He’s taking advantage of you, Nathan and you’re ignoring the obvious’ said Callum. ‘And it pains me to see because you’re one of the good guys. Do you remember when we were kids? Grannie Fraser used to look after us all whilst our Mums and Dads were at work and she always used to say that you were the only one of her grandchildren that she could count on to tell her the truth when we were all misbehaving. Do you remember all that?’
‘Yea, yea I remember’ said Nathan, sighing. ‘And your point is?’
‘Well what do you think she’d say if she could see you now carrying on with a coward who’ll never be yours in a completely one-sided relationship?’
‘Callum, I’m not like you’ said Nathan seeking to defend himself. ‘You’ve always gone from one relationship to another and you’ve never been without a man. I fall into the other category who has to take what’s left’.
‘Oh that’s rubbish’.
‘No it isn’t. I’m twenty bloody six and my relationship with Ken is the only ongoing relationship I’ve ever had’.
‘Christ, you make it sound so bloody desperate’.
‘Well it is when you’ve had my luck compared to yours. Look, I like Ken. I like the times we spend together and if that’s all that the universe has decided I can have then so be it’.
‘But what are you getting out of it? Because whilst you’re with Ken you’re not giving yourself chance to meet someone who can be yours and who’ll treat you the way you deserve’.
‘You’re not listening are you? I spent years waiting for that someone to come along and he never came. You had boyfriends when we were teenagers whilst I never caught a whiff of anything. So don’t judge me, Callum when you’ve had so much more luck with all this than I have’.
‘I didn’t mean it to sound like that’.
‘Well I’ll tell you what it sounds like. It sounds like a millionaire telling someone on the minimum wage that they should be grateful for what they’ve got’.
‘I’m only looking out for you, Nathan’.
‘I mean, look what happened when I worked at that restaurant whilst I was going through university? I fell madly for Bruce the manager who told me he was very flattered but he wasn’t gay. Except that he was lying through his bloody teeth. He was as gay as me and having it away with one of the other waiters. They were laughing at me behind my back. Those are the breaks I get, Callum. No mending of my broken heart by getting swept off my feet by the likes of Angus’.
‘Oh get me that bloody violin’ said Rosie.
‘But it’s true. Some people are lucky in love and some are
n’t. Some get what they want and some have to make do with what they can get. I fall into the latter category and love Ken and he loves me in the best way he can’.
‘But Nathan, honey’ said Rosie. ‘How do you feel when you’re in bed together knowing that he’s been on the TV earlier that night denouncing equal marriage and having voted against everything that went through parliament to do with equality for gay people? Doesn’t the hypocrisy of all that make you want to thump the bastard?’
‘It’s just whilst he builds his career’ Nathan claimed. ‘It’ll get easier after that’.
‘And how far does he want to go?’
‘As far as the PM’s job’.
‘Oh and you think it’ll get easier once he gets the top slot? You really think it’ll be easier when he’s in the most high profile job in the country with bodyguards and secret service people all around him?’
‘We’ll just have to wait and see’.
‘You stupid deluded fool’ said Rosie.
‘Don’t waste time sitting on the fence, Rosie’.
‘I just hate to see you being used’ said Rosie after linking arms with Nathan. ‘And I don’t want you to get hurt’.
‘Too late for that’.
Callum really felt for his cousin Nathan. It was true that he hadn’t been lucky in love but he thought he was demeaning himself with Ken Stratton. It was also true that Callum had never known loneliness. He’d always had a man beside him and he didn’t know what it felt like not to have someone there. Perhaps it did make him blind to the reasons why men with good, kind hearts like Nathan who were nevertheless lonely, settled for duplicitous bastards like Ken fucking Stratton.
‘I just hope that the press don’t get wind of what you’re up to with Stratton’ said Rosie. ‘Because if they do then you’ll be all over the media being portrayed as the scarlet woman. But enough said. I’m off to find us some more wine’.
Rosie left the boys in the garden and when she went inside a load of guests were sat around talking about how fucking brilliant Scotland was and how they’d never left it in their hearts and that they’d go back in a heartbeat.
