Shattered & Scarred

by A. J. Downey

  The four of us stood there laughing and watching the rain for a few minutes before going into the shop.

  “Sunshine I want you to meet Zander. He’s the other half of Open Road Ink.” I held out my hand.

  “Hi.” I said a little shyly now. So this was my other boss…

  “Hi.” Zander was grinning from ear to ear. He had a chipped tooth and a crooked smile. His nose was crooked too, broken once upon a time. Mine had been crooked for a while once from a fall out of a tree when I was seven… until Chadwick had insisted upon surgery to correct the perceived blemish in my appearance.

  Zander was shorter than Ethan and Andy, maybe five foot seven or eight which was still taller than me. He had black hair cut short that winged out from beneath his red baseball cap. He had well developed shoulders and a trim waist and wore a gray tee-shirt and frayed jeans. Red Converse covered his feet and warm brown eyes traveled over me from head to toe.

  He had colorful tattoos on one arm and the other was done in black and white. The colorful arm was fire and brimstone while the black and white, excuse me, grayscale arm was all fluffy clouds and angels.

  “She’s pretty.” He commented, Andy elbowed him in the shoulder.

  “She’s standing right here.” He said out of the side of his mouth. I smiled, rainwater dripping from the ends of my hair and the hem of my dress onto the black and white checkered linoleum floor.

  “You probably think I’m a lunatic.” I said.

  “Have to be to put up with his dumb ass.” He said jabbing a thumb in Ethan’s direction. I captured Ethan’s gaze with my own and pouted out my lower lip, the effect ruined some with my smile. He sucked in a breath.

  “He’s not that bad.” I said softly flicking my eyes to Zander’s. It was his turn to suck in a breath.

  “Liquid fucking sunshine…” he breathed. I blinked.

  “I’m sorry?” I said.

  “Talking about your eyes Baby.” Ethan said gently.

  “Oh.” I felt a blush creeping up my face. Andy’s head jerked.

  “Show time folks.” He said and I looked to see two people approaching the shop door through the rain. The boys scattered and I sat behind reception a little self-conscious that I looked like a drowned rat but not sorry.

  A man and woman ducked into the shop and I smiled and did my job. She wanted her nipples pierced and I set her up with Zander who was our resident piercer, Ethan had been filling in while Zander had been away, first at the convention and then while he visited family. I still blushed at the thought of having such a sensitive area done but I really wanted to watch one of these times. The idea secretly intrigued me.

  Hours later the shop was quiet except for the buzz of tattoo guns from Ethan and Andy’s cubicles. Andy started it, he really did. His rich voice carrying through the shop as he worked on his client…

  “No more talk of darkness. Forget these wide-eyed fears. I'm here, nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you, let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears. I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.”

  I smiled and without any prompting or urging sang Christine’s lines…

  “Say you'll love me every waking moment. Turn my head with talk of summer time. Say you need me with you now and always. Promise me that all you say is true… That's all I ask of you!” I let my voice lilt and trail and Andy’s soared over the divider… It looked like he was intent on singing the whole thing. I was game.

  “Let me be your shelter, let me be your light. You're safe, no one will find you; your fears are far behind you!” I smiled and sang out,

  “All I want is freedom, a world with no more night and you, always beside me

  to hold me and to hide me…” I stapled the paperwork I was processing and slipped it where it belonged. It was Andy’s turn.

  “Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you need me with you here, beside you anywhere you go, let me go too…” He stood up put one gloved hand against his chest and threw out his other hand dramatically and sang boldly, “Ashton! That's all I ask of you.”

  I clapped and dissolved into a fit of hysterical giggles.

  “Watch it man!” Ethan called, “Hate to have to kick your skinny ass!” but his words were tinged with laughter and humor, belying any real threat.

  “All right, all right! Back to work you clowns!” I heard Zander call and smiling and feeling all glowy I resumed concentrating on what I was being paid to do, I was excited for my first paycheck which I would see this Friday.

  The rain had stopped and the sun had come and gone. Dusk hung low over the parking lot outside and I sighed, the day couldn’t end fast enough. I wanted to go home so Ethan could touch me. Hands descended on my shoulders and I jumped. They kneaded my shoulders and I tipped my head way, way, back to look up into Zander’s smiling face. I blinked and stiffened up a bit. Not used to near strangers and casual touching yet.

  “Got a question.” He said.

  “Uh, sure…” He continued to knead my shoulders and it felt really good, but I really wished it were Ethan’s hands.

  “Can I use your face?” he asked. I blinked.

  “What?”

  “To draw, I want it here.” He turned his arm to reveal an unfinished angel. I blinked.

  “Why me?” I asked.

  “You’re beautiful.” He shrugged one shoulder. I colored, it was suddenly way too warm in here.

  “I suppose…” I said.

  “Cool.” He put his head back and yelled “Yo Trigger!” towards the back of the shop.

  “Yeah!?” Ethan called back.

  “Time to finish it!” Zander yelled. He looked down at me and jerked his head to indicate I should follow. I got up and followed him back to Ethan’s station. Ethan looked up from where he was bandaging his client. A skinny young man who had asked for a band symbol on his calf.

  “How you payin’?” Ethan asked, the kid peeled off some bills and looked at me. He said.

  “Thanks man, no receipt,” and walked out.

  “Sit over there sweetheart.” Zander said. I obediently did what I was told. Ethan cleaned up his station and started prepping needles and guns.

  He was looking at me in a way that was starting to thoroughly creep me out. Eyes cool and distant, appraising… I felt my heart throb painfully in my chest, as if a weight were upon it, squeezing it down to where my heart didn’t have enough room to expand.

  “Stop, please.” I said and threw up my hands. Ethan’s warmth washed over me as he rolled his chair to just in front of me. He took my hands in his and brought them down into my lap. My eyes were closed and he whispered,

  “Ashton, come on look at me.” I opened my eyes and Ethan was back, his clear silver eyes warm again.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked and I swallowed. I did what he’d asked me to do and I told him what I was feeling.

  “You were looking at me like I was a thing, not a person. It makes me uncomfortable.” I pulled in a deep breath and he smiled.

  “I’m sorry Sunshine. I was working.” He said gently and it made sense. He drew nearer and placed his lips against mine, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the warm feeling of his lips on mine. The knot of anxiety loosened and I felt myself relax. His warm finger tips resting gently on either side of my neck.

  “You’re a person Baby. The most beautiful, brave, strongest person I know.” He whispered against my lips. He drew back and smiled.

  “Better?” he asked and I closed my eyes and nodded.

  “Thank you.” I murmured.

  Zander cleared his throat at the opening to Ethan’s space.

  “That was hot.” He said and dropped into the chair, putting his hand on his leg and bending his arm at an angle to make it accessible to Ethan. I blushed and averted my eyes to the ceiling.

  “About time man.” Zander said to him softly. Ethan smiled and I dropped my gaze to his face, warmth and light spilling from h
is eyes as he searched mine.

  “I know.” He said and I sat quietly while he perfectly freehanded my face onto Zander’s arm.

  Chapter 13

  Trig…

  Ashton had fallen asleep tucked in the corner on my dentist chair. Her face angelic and at peace. I think we’d be skipping Les Mis tonight but I’d be damned if I was going to miss out on touching her. I patched up Zander’s arm.

  “She’s sweet.” He whispered.

  “Yeah.” I said carefully.

  “Damaged.” He observed. I looked him straight in the eye and said,

  “Aren’t we all?”

  “Yeah brother. Yeah.” He got up and patted me on the shoulder before he went out into the shop. I cleaned up and looked over at Ashton.

  I went out and opened the truck door then went back in and picked her up. Her arms went around my neck and she cuddled into my shoulder as I took her out and tucked her into the passenger side.

  I waved at Andy and Zander through the window and took us home, they could finish up closing down the shop. I wanted my girl nude and in my bed, my hands on her. There wouldn’t be sex tonight, I wanted her awake and moving with me for that. I drove us home and tried like hell to get the image of her riding my cock out of my head.

  “Did I fall asleep?” she asked as I parked the truck. I smiled.

  “Yeah babe.”

  She yawned and I laughed a little. It had been a pretty long and emotional day. I picked her up and carried her up the stairs. I got the key in the lock and got the door open, kicking it shut behind me. I took her straight into the bedroom and set her gently onto the bed. She sat up and struggled to wake up.

  “Don’t.” I whispered. I kissed her quick and soft and knelt down putting one foot on my knee, slipping her out of her sandal then then other.

  She blinked down at me and I reached out my hands. She took them and I stood her up. I unzipped her dress carefully and slid my hands along her back, pulling the dress off of her, letting it fall to the floor. I stripped off my shirts and pulled her in tight against my body and her slender arms went around me. I smoothed my hands over her silky skin and she sank into me.

  I took off her bra and kissed her, cradling her face between my hands. I touched my tongue to the seam of her lips and she opened to me, a small whimper escaping her throat. She tasted divine, like spring time and fresh rain and I explored her mouth leisurely. Taking my time. I let my fingers trail down her neck, tracing her collarbone and shoulders.

  I pressed my palms over her breasts and she arched into me. Her mouth moving with mine wantonly and I nearly lost my shit.

  She was glorious. Beautiful, soft and yielding to my touch. I undid my pants and let them fall, toeing out of my boots and leaving the whole pile lie.

  I dropped to my knees, breaking our kiss and she made a soft sound of protest. On my knees I was just below her chin and I pulled her to me, placing a kiss over her heart between her breasts. Her small hands wound into the back of my hair and she tugged gently. I leaned my head back and she looked down into my face. Her golden gaze soft with wonder.

  “Is this what you wanted?” I whispered.

  She nodded, and I smiled at having robbed her of speech. I trailed fingertips down her back in a barely there touch and her eyes closed. She shivered but not from cold and I loved that I could do this. Hell I could kneel at her feet like this and worship her until the end of time.

  I hooked my fingers into the backs of her panties and pulled them down, letting my nails lightly scratch down her supple ass cheeks, down the backs of her thighs, over the ridges of scars there, before uncurling them to lightly trail behind her knees. She was gripping my shoulders, her knees shaking as I let her panties fall. I pressed a line of warm kisses down her orange blossom perfumed skin, stopping just above the auburn curls at the apex of her thighs.

  I straightened and hugged her to me and she opened her eyes to look into mine.

  “You are so fucking beautiful.” I breathed and she let her fingertips trace my cheekbones. I closed my eyes and let her fingers do the walking, trailing across my cheekbones, my eyelids, the arch of my brows down the sides of my face and across my lips. When I stood up I picked her up and lay her back on the bed.

  I kissed down her body and across the arch of her hip bone. God she had hip bones I could gnaw on like a dog! High and perfect, the dip between them smooth and flat and begging for the caress of my lips.

  She was muscular and toned, slender without being stick thin. She was so perfect. I felt myself hot and thick and stiff in my boxers, straining so hard I thought my skin would split. I ached to be inside her, could feel every throb of my heartbeat echoed in my cock but that wasn’t for tonight.

  Tonight was for touch. To give her what she needed. To kiss her, taste her and love her with my hands and lips. I climbed up her body, bracing myself on my hands and knees over her.

  “How do you feel?” I asked.

  “Loved.” She ventured and I nodded slowly.

  “Good.” I whispered and I kissed her deeply. She kissed me back and moaned softly into my mouth. I got into bed beside her and pulled her against me, my cock pressing hotly through my boxers into the soft skin of her lower stomach. She gasped.

  “You feel what you do to me?” I asked, kissing the side of her throat.

  Her hands roamed my chest and shoulders unbidden.

  “One of these nights, when you’re ready, I’m going to make love to you.” I whispered the promise into her ear and she buried her face in the side of my neck nodding emphatically. I chuckled low and deep. God she was a treasure.

  I let my hands roam her delicate body, fingertips skimming her back as she lay against my chest, her fingers tracing spiral patterns on my ribs and stomach. It took everything I had to keep it at sensual petting and to go no further. We lay in each other’s arms silently exploring for God knows how long until finally, exhausted and relaxed we both fell into oblivion.

  When I woke up the next morning it was to her singing in the kitchen. I lay there a minute and soaked it up, a double tap came at the front door and it burst open, she shrieked and I pulled my forty caliber out of the bedside table rounding the bedroom door and aiming.

  “Reaver! The fuck man!?” I pointed the gun at the ceiling and stared at my friend’s back. He was turned around hands in the air.

  A blur of movement as Ashton streaked past me into my room and slammed the door. I blinked. What the fuck just happened?

  “Sorry man, I’m sorry! Didn’t expect that…” He muttered turning around slowly. I blinked.

  “Ashton you all right?” I called. The bedroom door opened and she came back out red as a beet in one of my shirts and it finally dawned on me what happened. I started laughing, then Reaver started laughing all the while Ashton stood there, waves of humiliation coming off her like heat patterns off of a summer sidewalk.

  “I was making you coffee.” She said quietly. Naked. She was making me coffee naked. Reaver howled and I wiped tears from my eyes. I gestured at her to come here with the Glock in my hand, she looked dubious at first but tucked herself against my side. I kissed the top of her head, a mixture of adrenaline, elation and honor a heady cocktail in my blood.

  “Thanks.” I said.

  “Do me a favor, dude?” Reaver said waving at me to get my attention.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Put some damned pants on or something. I got no interest in seeing your junk.” He winked at Ashton and she blushed a deep crimson.

  “I hate you both.” She muttered and Reaver lost his shit all over again.

  “Me!? What did I do!?” I asked, taking my gun back into the bedroom and putting it back in the bedside table. Ashton crossed her arms, arched a brow but the whole effect was ruined by the smile tugging at her lush mouth. She went back into the kitchen and resumed what she’d been doing, back straight, trying to muster as much dignity as possible. I pulled on some straight legged black warm up pants and went out to the dining t
able.

  “So are you ready my brother?” Reaver asked, grinning knee bouncing under the table. I frowned.

  “For what?” I asked, frowning.

  “The run… next week…” Reaver looked shocked as Hell that I’d forgotten but he shouldn’t have been. I looked into the kitchen and was met by a sweet golden gaze. I’d been sort of busy. I grunted and nodded. It was our last one before suspending operations, we’d put too much into it to pass on it. I needed to get Ashton square before I took off on what would be a two or three day run. I wondered if Squick would give her a ride to the shop and home for a couple of days.

  It was a shock to the system when I realized that for the first time since joining the MC… I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay here with Ashton. I was staring at my hand on the table when a cup of coffee clicked against the wooden surface. I looked up into Ashton’s gentle expression and she lowered herself into my lap, her small arms twined about my neck and I looked at her, really looked at her. The bruises had been healing up nicely and were barely a ghost of a shadow on her fair skin. Her eyes shone with some undefined emotion but whatever it was, you could be sure it was positive.

  “You don’t have to worry...” She smiled tenderly. “I’ve disrupted things enough for you. You should go, have a good time with the guys.” She smiled and it was sweet and warm.

  “Yeah I have to go.” I said.

  “How long will you be gone?” she asked.

  “Leave Sunday, be back by Wednesday night.” I answered. We had Sunday and Monday off from the shop. Today was Friday, so she’d pretty much be on her own for two days around here. I wasn’t sure I liked that.

  “Maybe I’ll call Hayden.” She said brightly. I could see a bit of sorrow in her golden gaze but there she was, two weeks out from an ordeal of a lifetime, being my brave girl. I didn’t care Reaver was sitting there looking at us, I pulled her mouth down to mine and kissed her but good.

  “Sounds like a good idea. Chandra will be around too. Maybe you two could do something.” I said. She smiled and nodded.

  “It will give me a chance to finish unpacking this place too.” She looked around at boxes in corners, mostly my random ass stuff from storage. I nodded, essentially giving her permission to put it where she thought it should go.