– Vika… – I whisper, – Vika, God forbid…
– What? – she looks at me and makes one step from me, – What’s wrong with you?
– God forbid you’re right… And I do think you’re right.
She grabs my hand, squeezes it strongly, almost painfully and shouts:
– For how long have you set your timer? Where do you live? Lenia, wake up! You’re alive, you’re real! I’m talking nonsense!
It feels funny: Vika was scared for me.
– I’m fine, – I say, – I’m alive and real. I’m not having Deep-psychosis. But I know the guy who can’t be alive.
As strange as it seems, Vika calms down. If I were her, I would feel even more scared.
– I had met those too… – she declares.
I shake my head.
– Vika, I know a man who behaves just as in your fantasy. He doesn’t tell reality and virtuality, he lives in the Deep, not plays.
She gets it instantly, – In “Labyrinth”?
– Yes.
– This is called lost sense of reality… it’s neural related, but nothing more.
– I saw what is it when the nervous system fails… This… is different.
– Lenia, – Vika smiles, – I’ve told lots of nonsense and scared you… You know, similarities are confusing.
I want to tell her about Man Without Face and Unfortunate. About accidents that became systematic. But I signed the contract and promised to keep it confidential.
And also – I’ll have to confess that I’m diver.
I have enough experience of such confessions.
I can imagine what do the girls think kissing the diver, “Now he’ll leave the Deep and my face will turn into the mask of tiny pixels. He’s free here and I’m a prisoner.”
I don’t want Vika to think so, don’t want it to be a wall between us.
– You’re right, – I whisper and Vika snugs close to me.
We stand above the steep, kissing each other, the river roars below and the wind tousles our hair. A lonesome bird’s cry, a momentary flash of the sunlight is the clouds, the leaf carpet beneath our feet. It’s soft and smells spicy. I take off Vika’s dress and she helps me to undress too. I kiss her body, my lips touch the live warmth, it’s not me in the Deep but the Deep inside me, it’s our world around, I’ll never leave it, we’ll get lost in these forests and will find a way to the mountains seen from her window.
Vika whispers something but I can’t hear words, we are too deep, we left the boundaries of all spaces.
Then there comes a short moment when spaces merge.
We are together despite all distances and uncertainties.
– Don’t leave me Gunslinger, – whispers Vika, – Just dare to leave me.
– I’ll never leave you, – I say. We snuggle together, the wind slides against the skin, damp leaves cool my back, I look up but clouds whirl circling above, one moment – and I’ll fall into the sky, will lose myself in realities following Unfortunate.
– Who are you Lenia?
But I can’t answer, I hug Vika again and our lips touch making all words empty and unnecessary.
My time is up, – whispers Vika, – I’ll have to leave… soon.
I understand, hug her even tighter as if I can stop the timer on the opposite end of invisible thread, to hold her in the Deep for a minute, for a second longer…
– Come to me again, – Vika raises her head and rises on her elbows above me, – Come today, I’ll wait for you.
I nod, reach out for her but it’s too late.
Her body turns pale and dims, dissolves in the cloud of violet sparks, the dress melts on the ground like a handful of snow. One moment and I stay alone under the sky that wants me to fall into it, to be lost in cloudy fog, to become one more human who doesn’t understand the border between the worlds.
And Vika will be with me always, we’ll become equal and I’ll never have to answer the question with a kiss…
I shake my head and force myself face forward into withered leaves.
It happens, all divers know the moment when they want so much to become just like the others.
I need to flee.
Abyss-abyss, I’m not yours… Let me go…
Tiny screens before my eyes, cool wind from the conditioner.
– Ate me? – I asked the Deep, – Tasty, huh? Aren’t your teeth aching?
The deep was silent. It had nothing to answer, it have lost again.
As if the world have broken into two halves, the one where it was love and the one where I was rolling on the floor hugging the void. Damn this split personality after which one feels himself an idiot!
I took off the helmet. The body was feeling like stuffed with cotton wool. I need a good sleep. I outstretched my hand and tore the virtual suit’s cable from the port.
– Device fault! – said Windows-Home scared, – Lenia, check the plug of the virtual suit!
– Pause, – I said standing up and stretching. The suit needs washing.
I entered the bathroom, undressed and padded under the shower, stood there for a minute feeling tight jets of water on my face. Then picked the suit up from the floor, took a piece of laundry soap and began washing it.
Yup, this is how they usually ruin costly things – being too lazy… or too shy to bring it to the cleaners.
After washing the suit with extreme care, I hung it on the hangers and that on the hook above the bathtub. The water started flowing down. Squeezing the fabric that has hundreds of tiny wires, sensors and pressure imitators inside is even more insane than washing. Well, let’s rely on Philips’ reputation, maybe they even took the Russian carelessness into consideration.
My old virtual suit, Chinese made but still quite decent one, was lied about in the closet. I was going to sell it all the time but never found a time to post an ad in the Net. Now I was happy I haven’t.
After pulling on cheerfully colored knitted fabric I walked along the room for some time. Feels quite okay, it became a little tight but not too much. I even started whistling something waving the suit cable in the air.
Vika’s words are nonsense. She really was imagining things and I’ve lost my sense of critic. The Net is nothing more than just hundreds of thousands of computers plugged into phone lines. Virtuality is just a trick of subconsciousness.
Electronic intelligence is impossible on the basis of Pentiums and ‘forths’. Any computer specialist will explain that to you if he won’t feel too lazy to argue with an obvious stupidity.
I plugged the suit into the port and Windows-Home declared cheerfully:
– New device was detected! Do you want to install it?
– Yes.
My main suit will be drying for at least three days. Let Windows-Home better install the old suit properly.
– Movement sensors… test passed… pressure imitators… test passed… power consumption… test passed… critical overloads’ limitation… test failed! Warning, the given virtual suit model doesn’t conform to acceptable safety standards! Discomfort is possible during virtual contacts! It’s not recommended to…
– Proceed with testing. – I ordered. All Chinese made suits suffer this drawback – unacceptable one from the point of view of Western Europeans or Americans. If the concrete slab squashes me in virtuality, the suit might react too eagerly and leave a pair of bruises on my body.
To be honest, I don’t care much.
– Testing complete. I recommend to cancel device installation.
– Complete installation. – I said putting the helmet on.
– Are you serious? – asked Windows-Home.
– Yes.
– Device installed, – agreed the program with grief.
deep Enter The wind blows stronger, I shiver stepping back from the steep. My head is wet and it’s not too comfortable to stand here.
Especially being alone.
I pick up the thermos and pour myself some mulled wine, take a couple of
sips just to warm up a little. We yet will come here again, together with Vika. I really hope she liked it here, there’s not too many places in virtuality that I like unconditionally.
– See you, – I say to the river, to the wind and to the autumn forest, then pad to the exit.
If I walk to “Labyrinth” I’ll just kill the rest of the time and the divers will finish their attempts to save Unfortunate.
For some reason I’m sure they’ll fail.
1011
The first thing I see entering the 33rd level is Anatol sprawled on the grass. My first thought is that even a professional can fail but Anatol raises his head and waves to me.
Unfortunate is also here – in his corner.
– Hey Gunslinger! – it is obvious that Anatol is not going to change his horizontal position into vertical one, – Crawl over here!
I sit down nearby and nod questionably.
– We’re gonna refuse from that… – Anatol nods towards Unfortunate, – …assignment.
I stay silent, letting him to relieve himself.
– I don’t believe in karma, – says Anatol, – If one brings the guy to the exit with such a care as if he’s a crystal vase but he still dies, it means he wants it himself.
– Oh?
Anatol lowers his voice to whispering:
– Look, you have your own reasons to save him… go ahead and try. But think first – he’s in the Deep for two days. Have you seen such heroes before?
– Yes.
– Hoarse voice, walks like a robot, understands everything from the third attempt… Right?
I look at Unfortunate and shake my head.
– So, it means that he eats and drinks, he visits bathroom and orients himself in what’s going on.
Anatol rises a little and squats.
– Gunslinger, this guy thinks we’re idiots. Either he’s here on an assignment from the management checking how we’re doing our job or he’s another diver, just as we are. Or both at the same time.
I have nothing to say. Of course Anatol is right. There’s no other options from the normal logic’s point of view. But I just have some problems with ‘normality’ as of late.
– Crazy came to see the management, – says Anatol, – Either they confess that they are checking our abilities or they stop demanding impossible from us.
– They’ll conclude that Unfortunate is a diver.
– See?
– This is a very comfortable version Anatol. Some diver trickster making fun of entertainment industry and his colleagues… Of course, nobody would shut down “Labyrinth” because of such a trinket.
– Gunslinger, I dragged him through the whole damned level, – says Anatol tiredly, – I’ve shoot all guards in the mirror hall…
I nod, it’s sure possible with his gear and experience.
– You know what happened next? – an anger appears in diver’s voice, – He dropped his carbine. And it shoot him right between the eyes!
I stay silent. What can I say? Unfortunate doesn’t want to leave the level…
– I’m completely exhausted… – Anatol spits on the grass, – I can’t even look at this asshole anymore, not to mention to save him…
– Anatol, nothing is done without reason.
– Then what does he tries to achieve? Huh? Well, I’ll tell you. He wants us to cancel our contracts! To get the warm place himself! Alone or… in a pair with somebody. With the diver who will kinda save him!
He looks into my eyes and I take the challenge.
– You accuse me of double play?
Divers never frame divers. It’s too little of us. That was the main purpose of the Code, that’s why we meet three times a year neglecting our usual caution and mutual distrust.
If the divers start fighting each other in Deeptown the whole Net will suffer while the Net’s well-being is the most important thing, it has enough enemies in the real world beside that.
– I don’t know, – Anatol lowers his gaze, – Maybe not. I’m sorry. But you’re being framed too. Who ordered you to save Unfortunate?
– The anonymous. I have a channel to communicate with him, but I fear it’s for a single use only and too well secured one.
– Can this anonymous guy be diver?
I shrug.
– So make your conclusions. We have already failed, you’ve stirred up the whole “Labyrinth” but you’ll flop too. Then some Unkie will arrive from nowhere, will save Unfortunate and get the contract.
Anatol stands up, unties the armor on his chest and offers in a business-like tone:
– Fire.
– What?
– Kill me. Then you’ll be able to get all my gear. Or you’re gonna fight the war with the carbine?
I hesitate and Anatol shakes his head:
– Gee Gunslinger, you’re just like Unfortunate himself…
He presses the plasma gun to his chest and pulls the trigger. A short blow, blood splashes out but he’s still alive. Huge is the strength of “Labyrinth“‘s divers.
– Fuck this! – croaks Anatol and shoots again.
The armor is bloodied all over but I try to ignore that. I take it off of him and pull on myself, then I pick up weapons and ammo.
Either Unfortunate doesn’t look at us or he just doesn’t react to such an unusual gear exchange procedure.
I pad closer and sit down beside him. Everything is like in the first time: lowered head, dull eyes behind the mask. Is he really the diver, now sitting by the computer with a sandwich and a cup of coffee? Glancing at the screen from time to time, ready to jump into the Deep at any moment – and to start to take me in…
– Aren’t you bored here? – I ask. One second pause… Interesting, what did he use it for: to think of the answer or to start the deep-program? Then Unfortunate says hoarsely:
– I don’t have a choice.
– Why not? Let’s exit “Labyrinth”. Have you ever been in “Three Piglets”? Or in “The Old Hacker”?
Unfortunate shakes his head.
– It’s much more interesting there, – I say. We sit side by side, I hold BFG-9000 on my laps, ready to burn any enemy at any second. We’ll definitely pass with such a gear. We can’t fail. But I’m not in hurry for now, – Thank you by the way.
– For what?
– You covered me in that mirror hall.
Unfortunate takes off his respirator. I suddenly notice how strange his gestures are. Some rare softness and fluidness – as if every movement is a pleasure for him. Narcissistic actors act this way sometimes but unlike them Unfortunate doesn’t irritate me.
– Does it require any thanks? – he asks with irony.
– Yes, – I reply, – Of course.
– Wouldn’t you do the same?
– No, if I were you.
Pause. Looks like Unfortunate is surprised.
– Why?
– You’re in trouble. It’s you whom I must get out of “Labyrinth”.
– It’s not me who is in trouble, – Unfortunate shakes his head.
– Are you a diver? – I ask directly.
– No.
– Listen man, stop taking me in. You’re in the deep for more than two days. You must be dying of thirst and hunger by now.
– Thirst is not the most terrible thing.
– So, what is more terrible?
– The silence.
– What?
– The silence, Gunslinger.
He looks into my eyes and I don’t pull away my gaze, our faces are very close.
His eyes become alive, there’s no more dull helplessness in them. The black deepness… the endless darkness as if I look into the sky where all stars came out simultaneously, into the maelstrom of darkness, the silent one that drags into itself, beyond the border of worlds.
– The Silence, – he whispers.
I can feel it, this Great Silence which he tries to tell me about and it’s good he doesn’t say a word now. Any words are helpless, th
ey only scratch the layer of the Silence too weak to break through it and only hinder to comprehend it.
The Silence.
Whoever you are Unfortunate, you know more about it than anybody else in this world.
One more second – and I’ll fall into the Silence, will understand Unfortunate.
I don’t want to understand him!
– That’s what I fear of… – he says and the delusion disappears. I just sit beside him, two drawn guys exchanging vague phrases.
Is it possible to get crazy in the Deep I wonder? Maybe I’ll be the first?
– Why did you kill yourself? – I ask.
– When?
– Anatol pulled you through, you dropped your carbine and shoot yourself into forehead. Do you want to tell me that it was an accident?
– Accidents don’t exist.
– Then why?
– Anatol won’t be able to get me out.
– Why?! – I shout. The talk of two deaf people, answers that don’t explain anything.
Unfortunate doesn’t reply.
Ah well, so be it.
Enough riddles for me, I’ll just get him out of here. He won’t have any choice – not any except to leave the level.
– Get up! – I shout, grab Unfortunate by the shoulders forcing him to stand up, pull his pistol out of the holster, discharge it and throw away.
– Go! March!
He doesn’t argue – geez, if he would even try to… I’ll drag him out on my own shoulders if necessary.
He won’t have any choice.
We pass the Disneyland, I shoot the monsters not sparing the ammo, I have more than enough for this level.
The rocket launcher gets red-hot of constant shooting, I burn my shoulder even through the armor. Nevermind.
We see the kid that flees from three quick demons on the car ride again. This time he’s not black though but Latin-American. Gee, those American racial complexes… Unfortunate stops dead and we have to repeat the short duel with demons and the machine-gun spider. Then we move to the building the kid pointed at. This time Unfortunate holds him really tight and he can’t break free. I enter the door instead of him. The hall is filled with half transparent shaking wineskin with teeth almost completely. Rockets pass through it without blowing up. I burn the beast using plasma gun, wasting two energy cells.
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