They were pulling back into the harbor. “Thanks, Jess. I’m glad I came out.”
“Me, too.”
“Can I lend you a hand once we get into port?” he asked, hoping the answer would be no if it came to that chum bucket. His stomach rolled just thinking about it.
Jess chuckled. “No, thanks. Dad will be around soon to lend me a hand. Then I’ve got to run home, clean up, and go to the office.”
Jess slowed her approach. It seemed slower than the other fishermen. “Are you still having problems about running over me?”
Jess’s knuckles whitened as she tightened her grip around the steering wheel.
“Jess, I was just as much at fault as you were. I wasn’t looking and had been under the pier just before you hit me.”
“What?”
“I had taken my kayak under the pier to get a look at some of the sea life living on the pilings. I pulled out without thinking. My mind was on work and the problems I was having with the company. I wasn’t thinking about where I was or what I was doing. You couldn’t have avoided me. I’m certain of it. I owe you my life, Jess.”
“Then why…” Her words trailed off.
“The lawsuit?” he finished for her. “Because I was a cad.”
Jess nodded.
One of those awkward moments passed between them, until the boat gently rubbed against the pilings. Krispin jumped up and took the stern line with him. He secured the rear line of the boat while Jess moved up to the bow. He took off the yellow foul-weather gear and laid it on the bench of their fishing shack. “I’ll see you later, Jess.”
Jess came up beside him. Her honey-wheat hair glistened in the morning light. Her blue eyes dazzled him. Krispin swallowed. He wanted to kiss her. He refused to act on such an impulse.
Placing her hand on his chest, she whispered, “Thanks for telling me that. I’ve had many a sleepless night trying to figure out how I—”
He reached out and pulled her close. “Jess, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”
Jess nodded her head against his chest. “I do.”
His heart wanted to burst. The woman he loved, the woman he’d been so incredibly rude to, was in his arms and forgiving him for the cad he had been. “Thank you for saving my life, Jess. My soul,” he whispered.
Jess pulled away first. Krispin stepped back. “I’ll see you later.”
Jess smiled. “Later.”
Krispin hiked up the walkway back to the street level of the harbor. He turned back to see Jess working. When she pulled the bucket of chum out of the boat, his stomach flipped once again. He needed a shower and a nap.
His cell phone rang. “Hello?”
“Hi, Krispin. Pastor Russell here.”
“Hi, Pastor. What’s up?”
“I was confirming that you would be giving your testimony in church tomorrow morning.”
“Yes.” Another reason I had to tell Jess the truth—before she heard my public testimony.
“Great. I’ll see you later.”
“Later?”
“I take it you’ve forgotten the meeting of the men and their mentors tonight? A barbecue at the church.”
Krispin let out a nervous chuckle. “Afraid so. I’ll be there.”
“See you soon.”
Krispin said good-bye and immediately called and left a message on Jess’s answering machine that he had to cancel their evening plans. Although he definitely would prefer to be in Jess’s company, perhaps it was wise that they not be alone together too often after declaring their attraction to one another.
Later that evening, he found himself pleasantly surprised, enjoying the company of the men around him. Wayne stood at the grill with Pastor Russell. Greg Steadman came up to him with a plate brimming with food and an inch-thick stack of napkins. “Now don’t you tell my wife. She says I could stand to lose twenty pounds.”
Krispin chuckled. “My lips are sealed.”
“Good.” Greg sat down beside him. “I saw you went out on the boat with Jess this morning. Are you two dating?”
“No,” Krispin answered a bit defensively. “We’re friends. But we’re talking about the possibility, maybe bringing our relationship to the next level. Do you know she still feels guilty for running over me?”
“I suspect she will for a while.” Greg picked up a rib and bit into it. Barbecue sauce stained the edges of his beard. Krispin now understood the large pile of napkins Greg had brought with him, as he automatically wiped his beard after every bite.
“I told her on the boat.”
“Told her what?”
Krispin sighed. “That I am a Christian. I didn’t want her to hear my testimony in church tomorrow without having heard it from me first.”
“Makes sense. But what about her seeing you live a different lifestyle first?”
“I tried that, but for the past two weeks, she’s been avoiding me. So I thought it best to get it out in the open once and for all.”
“Krispin, you told me you didn’t become a Christian to get the girl. Are you still sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. God is real, and I’ve noticed a change in my life. Although some of the changes aren’t all that pleasant.”
“Like?” Greg continued to eat.
“I had a strange childhood.”
“You mentioned that. But what in particular is striking you now?”
Krispin paused, scanned the area, and noted that Wayne still stood by the grill. Krispin lowered his voice. “When I was a child, I never learned to socialize with the other children. I was a loner. I liked it. Or rather, I preferred it over being teased about being so smart. When I went off to boarding school, I didn’t know anyone, and it basically stayed that way until college, when I discovered a certain popularity with the women.
“Anyway,” Krispin went on, “fact is, I really don’t know how to act around a woman that I’m not trying…well, you know.”
“Are you trying to with Jess?”
“Oh no, never! I mean…” Krispin stumbled over his words. “I respect her too much. I would never try to…you know.”
Greg smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, I know. When Jayne and I met, I had similar ideas. The thing to do is to pray about it. God will give you the wisdom, the control, and the understanding in how this will all work out.”
“I wish He’d just tell me and get it over with,” Krispin mumbled.
“You and just about every other Christian on the planet. That’s what trust is all about.”
“But if the Bible is right, I have way too many wives as it is now. How do I reconcile what I’ve done in the past with who I am now?”
“You’re forgetting that forgiveness clause. All your sins—and I do mean all your sins—have been forgiven.”
Another man was heading toward the table—Jim or John or something like that. Krispin couldn’t remember. “Hello,” he said. “Would you care to sit here?”
“Josiah, take a load off.” Greg pointed to the chair beside him. “Josiah, meet Krispin. Krispin, Josiah.”
The two men shook hands. Krispin went back to his meal. “Josiah here has an incredible problem,” Greg said. “He’s about to go to prison.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“I deserve it. I conned my grandfather out of his life savings. He has nothing left. The only downside is that I can’t earn the money from prison to take care of him. My family won’t speak to me; my wife left and returned to her parents. Last I heard, I was going to be a father in a month, but my wife isn’t communicating with me.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. ‘If you do the crime…’ ”
“You do the time,” Pastor Russell said as he sat down beside Krispin. “You’re turning yourself in tomorrow morning?”
“Yes. Today is my last day as a free man. However, the sheriff says I’ll be coming to church with him in the morning ’cause he doesn’t want to watch the cell, which means I can give my testimony before I go in.”
“Wonderful. Tomorrow’s service will be very different.”
Krispin forked his coleslaw. He wondered what kind of a testimony Josiah had. He couldn’t imagine stealing from someone, let alone from his own grandfather, and leaving him with nothing.
“Grandpa says he’ll be here in the morning, too.”
“Good,” Pastor Russell answered without much of a reaction.
Krispin watched as Josiah ate his food. He seemed content going to jail and remorseful that he was leaving his grandfather in such scrapes. “What does your grandfather do?” Krispin asked.
“Lobstering, now. When he was a young man, he worked at the granite quarries.”
How old is his grandfather? Krispin’s thoughts flooded with memories of the early morning hours, the cool damp air, the weight of the lobster pots being pulled on board. How can an old man do what Jess does? he wondered.
“What about yourself, Krispin? Aren’t you the man Jessica Kearns ran over with her boat?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t only her fault. I should have paid more attention.”
“More than likely. Most folks know well enough not to try and outrun a motorboat with a paddle.” Josiah smiled. “Seriously, dude, what are you doing here? Didn’t you threaten to sue Jess, her father, and the co-op?”
“Only Jess.” Realizing he was being defensive, Krispin added, “I saw something in her and her father that made me curious about God.”
“I wished I’d paid more attention when Mr. Kearns was my youth leader. I wouldn’t have ruined so many lives. But enough about me. I’ve got the next five years to think about it. Word on the street is you’re some kinda computer genius or something.”
“I wrote software. I’m not a computer genius.”
Greg smiled and placed his hand on Josiah. “Math is easy for him, like it is for my Lissa.”
Josiah held a cob of corn in his hand and thought for a moment, then narrowed his hazel gaze on Krispin. “How do we know you’re not the one that tried to break into Jess’s computers?”
Krispin’s spine stiffened, then he relaxed a fraction. “Frankly, you don’t. But in my line of business, I have to be above reproach. I’ve been investigated more than once and have always stood the test. If I were not a man to be trusted, no one would buy our software. It’s not just me that needs to trust in my abilities and honor. All of my clients have to trust me. And for what it’s worth, I’m bonded.” Krispin stood up. “Excuse me, I’m going to get some more corn.”
He took a couple of steps, then turned back and leveled his gaze on Josiah. “To add to all the professional accolades, I now have Jesus in my court. God knows it wasn’t me, and He knows who it was. I don’t have to worry anymore with Him on my side.”
Fourteen
Jess caught herself wiggling in the pew as she waited for the morning service to begin. Face it, girl, you’ve been wound up tighter than a rope spun around the propeller. All night she’d been thinking about Krispin’s confession and wondering how she hadn’t picked up on the change in him. She had noticed he no longer behaved like a Neanderthal and that he was actually a kind and considerate person. Like when he asked his friend to fly Jordan back to Squabbin Bay in time for him to be at Randi’s side for the birth of their baby. She had seen how generous he’d been to Greg Steadman and his family and how helpful he’d been to her with her computer problems. All in all, he did not seem to be anything like the man she had pulled out of the harbor those many months ago.
A smile of pleasure crossed her lips. She couldn’t wait to tell Krispin of her observations. Admittedly, she had been overly guarded on the boat, fearful that it was another manipulative ploy on his part. But throughout the day and night, more confirmations about Krispin’s faith and actions became clearer, along with her own guilt for not really trusting him. Forgive me, Lord.
Jess glanced over to the front pew where Krispin and the others sat waiting to give their testimonies. Krispin’s gaze locked with hers. His deep, royal blue eyes sent a shiver of excitement through her. She lifted her hand to her chest and gave him a discreet wave. Krispin beamed.
Jess’s stomach flipped. An instant flash of…what? A dream, fantasy, prophecy? A vivid image of Krispin standing in the front of the church as she was walking down the center aisle to become his wife went through her mind’s eye. Could he be? Lord, is he the one?
“Good morning, Jess.” Her father sat down beside her.
“Where’s Mom?”
“She’ll join us later. Jordan was up all night with Randi and the baby, so he asked Dena to fill in taking pictures for the testimonial part of the service.”
Jess scanned the sanctuary. Over on the right side of the building, she saw her stepmother with a camera in hand and another around her neck.
“Dad, can Krispin join us for Sunday dinner?”
“Sure, except I believe Greg has planned a meal for his mentorees after the service.”
“Okay, maybe another time.”
“Are you two dating?”
“No!” she blurted out, perhaps too defensively.
Her father’s beefy hand went over her own. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I like him.”
“I do, too. He’s nothing like the man I first met.”
“And that’s a good thing.” He squeezed her hand. “If Krispin asks you to join him for dinner, you’re excused from the family meal.”
Jess’s smile brightened. She kissed her father on the cheek. “Thanks, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome.”
The music started to play, and the worship leader stood up. Jess put all dreams and fantasies aside and concentrated on worshipping the Lord. Krispin floated into her mind only every other minute after that.
❧
Krispin’s mouth went dry. He couldn’t sing. He could barely stand up. Lord, help me say the right words. My testimony needs to be about You, not me.
Josiah’s testimony came first. Krispin sat while he listened to Josiah confess his sins to his grandfather and the entire congregation.
“I’m afraid I have another confession.” Josiah turned his gaze toward the area where Jess sat. “Jess, I’m the one who broke into your computer.” The congregation gasped audibly.
“I needed some money. I thought I could get enough cash to hold me over for the summer through the co-op’s financial records.” The congregation rustled in their seats. “I wanted to help my kid, ya know?”
“Sheriff, I suppose that means another trial?” Josiah asked.
“More than likely,” the sheriff replied.
“Jess, I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean to break your computer. I’ll add that to my list of things to pay back.”
Jess sat silently and nodded.
Josiah had grown up in the community. Krispin saw from the faces of those in the congregation how much of a disappointment Josiah had been to the folks who cared about him.
Josiah continued. “I don’t know what else to say except, I’m sorry. Pastor Russell and Mr. Steadman have made me see how selfish I’ve been. Grandpa, I’m sorry. I don’t know how, but I’m going to get the money back for you. Jesus has forgiven me…I know that. But I want to be the man you would be proud to call Grandson once again. I love you.” Josiah’s voice cracked, and he left the pulpit and sat down.
Krispin rubbed the sweat from his palms on to his slacks before he stood up. “Good morning,” he said from behind the pulpit. “Most of you don’t know me. My name is Krispin Black. I’m from New Hampshire, and I found the Lord here. Many of you know that Jessica Kearns ran over my kayak with her lobster boat several months back.”
The congregation let out a nervous chuckle. Krispin reached out and held the pulpit to keep his knees from buckling.
“Besides saving my life that day, she put me on the path to the salvation of my soul. You see, I had no use for God. I wasn’t even sure there was a God. Instead I saw Him as a helpful crutch for others to lean on to get them through life. Well, you know what? He is. I finally came to realiz
e I made a mess out of my own life. I found fortune and fame in my little corner of the world, but it left me cold and empty. My parents love me, but they loved themselves more. I was not a priority for them. Their own lives were more important to them, even while I was a small boy. I’m not saying that to blame them for how they raised me. But the way they expressed their love was very cold and distant, so I grew up with that same coldness.
“When I threatened Jess with the lawsuit, it was out of anger and from a way of life I’d been used to living. That’s what you did in my world. You sued anyone for any inconvenience, including any you might have caused yourself. The truth is I was at fault that day. It wasn’t Jess’s fault. I wasn’t paying attention and darted out from under the dock without looking.
“I know this sounds odd, but I’m grateful that Jess ran over me that day. I can see the Lord’s hand was in it. You know, they say there are some hardheaded people in this world, and you have to hit them over the head with a two-by-four to knock any sense into them. But I’m especially hardheaded. God had to use an entire boat to get me to stop and reconsider my life choices.”
The congregation gave a collective chuckle.
“I’m here today to proclaim I believe in God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. They live together as one, and Jesus is in my heart. I don’t deserve Him or His love, but I’m thankful for it.” Krispin let go of the pulpit and took his seat next to Josiah. The congregation burst into applause. Krispin bent his head in prayer. Father, to You belongs all the glory. I’m the unworthy vessel. I’m not suited for this love, but I accept it. Thank You.
The rest of the service was a blur. Krispin’s mind stayed focused in prayer for God to be praised, not the people who were giving their testimonies.
Suited For Love Page 12
