I nodded toward the maze. “This is where Lady Helen died?”
“I’ve often thought about cutting it down.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“Destroying something my mother created for fun won’t change what happened. So there’d be no point.”
“Who killed Lady Helen? I don’t believe you did and I have to wonder if your brother did, either. With the tunnel here, anyone could have killed her and not been seen. Why did only you and Alex fall under suspicion?” I drew a deep breath. “Could Jamie have done it?”
“At sixteen? He was large enough then to have harmed someone, but even now it is difficult to believe he intentionally hurt Mary. Helen was beaten, brutally so. I don’t think Jamie had anything to do with her death.” He sighed. “She was an angel, and Alex and I were the only ones who would have had any reason to kill her.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t it possible someone else could have? There seems to be so many unanswered questions.”
“Bloody hell, Cassie,” Sean exploded. “Don’t you understand? There isn’t going to be any happy ending, with all the ribbons tied into pretty bows. Yes, another man could have murdered Helen. But it doesn’t change things. The Dragon’s Curse still stands for me and Alex, so it doesn’t matter what suspicion clouds our lives. In fact, it’s better this way for everyone.” The growing darkness cast shadows on his stark features, revealing the hopelessness of his thoughts. “So, let it go. You can’t change the past and you can’t run away from fate.”
“Only if you’re blind, you can’t.” I turned from him. “And I don’t think Lady Helen would agree with you. She deserves justice.” Anger fueling me, I marched to the house.
“Cassie, wait.” Sean caught up with me and grabbed my hand. For a moment I thought he would reach out to me, grasp hold of a future for us, and tell me that he loved me. “They know who you are,” he said, and my heart seemed to break, tears filled my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “Stuart told everyone you are Mary’s cousin. I think he hoped to keep the men who were searching for you from shooting Jamie on sight. He tried to convince everyone that Jamie had only taken you because he was trying to protect Mary’s cousin.” His voice roughed with anger. “Mary’s death may have been an accident, but harming Rebecca and you was unconscionable. Hanging Jamie would be like hanging a child, though. So I’m going to have Constable Poole assure me that he’ll be locked up instead.”
“Mary wouldn’t want Jamie to hang either, but I want to see the constable before he leaves.”
“You’ll never know how deeply I regret that any of this ever happened.”
As I stared into his eyes, I realized that he spoke of more than just Mary’s tragedy. He regretted knowing me as well. That hurt worse than his refusal to believe in a future. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, determined not to cry. I realized then that he truly did not love me as I loved him. For I would never regret, loving him, touching him, and knowing him with my mind, body, and soul.
The kitchen door opened and I turned away from what would never be mine to hold again.
Bridget came running out, tears pouring from reddened blue eyes filled with worry. She ran up and hugged me. “I should be spanking you for lying to us all. You’re bloody proper Cassiopeia from the paper, who’d have believed it.”
“I’m sorry.”
Others poured out the kitchen door, the Murphys, Mrs. Frye and Prudence with Rebecca in her arms.
“You disappeared in a twinkling of the eye, you did. Was it Jamie?” Bridget asked.
“I’m afraid so,” Sean said. “Mary’s body was found in the chamber he took Cassie to. Apparently he’s been hiding there.”
“No! You can’t hurt him.” Mrs. Frye burst into tears. “You can’t.”
Mrs. Murphy reached for her. “Clara, I’m sorry but…”
“You don’t understand. I…I did it! It was an accident,” Mrs. Frye cried.
Chapter Nineteen
My breath caught as shock rippled through me and, judging by the sounds of surprise and denial cutting through the evening air, stunned everyone. Blindly reaching for her husband, Mrs. Murphy stepped back from Mrs. Frye.
Mrs. Frye flinched.
“Is that why you never told me that Mary’s mother wished to see me?” Sean asked harshly, his hands fisted.
“Yes.” Mrs. Frye backed away from everyone, her eyes fearful and her body shaking.
“You took Rebecca to the roof and left her there?” Sean’s voice lowered, becoming lethal in its roughness. The vibrating anger ripped through me.
Mrs. Frye shook her head, appearing confused. “N-n-no, n-n-no. Jamie must have been trying to protect me. I don’t know. I haven’t had time to figure it out. I really believed the child had wandered. He didn’t hurt Mary. The child isn’t hurt. They can’t hurt him. He’s been hurt enough, even before he was born.”
“How did the accident happen?” Sean demanded.
Mrs. Frye blinked. “I…an argument. We argued about Jamie. I was angry that she was making him want things he could never have. I shook her by the shoulders. She stumbled back, fell down the…sand dune, rolling faster until she hit her head on a sharp rock. Then she…was…dead.”
Sean moved closer to Mrs. Frye. “Why did you hide it? Why didn’t you just tell everyone what happened?”
“I don’t know,” Mrs. Frye sobbed. “They can’t hurt Jamie.”
Sean shook his head, as if the world rested on his shoulders. “You’re going to have to tell the authorities. They’ll probably arrest you and Jamie both until they determine exactly what happened, and why you felt you had to hide what happened.”
My head spun. The unfolding events were more than I could absorb. I must have wavered on my feet, for Bridget and Prudence reached for me at the same time.
“Cass,” Rebecca called, holding her arms out to me.
“I’m here, poppet.” I gave her a big hug.
“H-h-horseman g-g-gone? H-hurt no more?”
I looked over at Mrs. Frye, who was sobbing into her hands, and I wondered how Rebecca was confusing the sound of a horse with Mary’s death in an argument with Mrs. Frye. It didn’t even remotely match, but Rebecca desperately needed reassurance. “Yes,” I told Rebecca. “There’s nothing for you to worry about anymore.”
After giving me salve for my scrapes, the doctor declared that all I needed was a bath, hot broth, a brandy and a good rest. Bridget and Prudence took the doctor’s advice to heart. I delayed leaving Killdaren’s Castle long enough to gather my wits, clean myself up and to speak to Constable Poole.
Word that he awaited me in the library finally came.
“Well, if it isn’t the illustrious Miss Andrews,” Constable Poole said as I walked into the room, his cold voice stealing any warmth the hearth fire had flickered into the room.
“I gather you two have met then,” Sean said from off to my left. Jerking my head his way, I gasped and my heart raced, unable to free itself from his spell. I hadn’t expected Sean would be present.
“Yes, we’ve met, and none too pleasantly, either,” Constable Poole said. “On her arrival to Dartmoor’s End, Miss Andrews was quite adamant of the Killdaren’s involvement with her cousin’s disappearance. Though the guilty party wasn’t who you thought, I imagine you are quite pleased with yourself.” He smiled.
“I beg your pardon.” Fury whipped through me and any thought I had about bringing up the discrepancy in Rebecca’s horseman’s story and Mrs. Frye’s testimony died. I didn’t want this man anywhere near Rebecca, and now fully understood Prudence’s reluctance to have Rebecca questioned about Mary. Before I could say more, Sean stepped forward.
“Constable Poole. If your callous rudeness to Miss Andrews is to express your loyalty to my family, then it is a highly misplaced endeavor, and not appreciated. Despite her deception in entering my home, Miss Andrews has my complete respect and support, and is grieving for a loved one. I suggest you keep that in mind, sir!”
; The constable narrowed his eyes. “My apologies, Mr. Killdaren, Miss Andrews. I didn’t mean to offend. What is it you wished to speak with me about? I’ve a number of details to attend in regards to settling your cousin’s case, and will also have to speak to your aunt about her wishes for Mary’s body.”
I only nodded my head, unable to verbally accept this man’s insincerity. I thought his handling of my cousin’s death criminally inept. “Thank you, but there is no need for you to speak to my aunt. I will. I’d much rather give her the news myself, and we’ll inform you of our plans for Mary’s burial soon. I assume you will have the local coroner examine Mary’s body and give a report?”
“Given her condition, I not sure exactly what that will accomplish,” the constable said. “I think I can handle the details of my job well enough, Miss Andrews.”
“Then you will see to a coroner’s report as Miss Andrews has requested, correct?” Sean’s tone brooked no argument.
“Of course, as I just said.” Constable Poole stiffened, agitated with what he clearly saw as interference into his realm. “Is that all Miss Andrews?”
I glanced at Sean and dug my nails into my palm. “No. I think there should be a reinvestigation into Lady Helen Kennedy’s murder.”
“No!” Sean’s voice cut so sharply I flinched.
The constable smirked and sent Sean an “I told you she was trying to harm you”.
I ignored them both and plunged ahead. “I believe a grave disservice was done to both Lady Helen and the Killdaren family, Constable Poole. And if you won’t investigate the matter further, then I have contacts in journalism that would be very interested in what I have to say.”
“If you won’t mind leaving us now, Constable, I’ll speak to you about this at another time.” Sean moved to the door, closer to me. The moment Constable Poole exited the room, Sean grasped my elbow. “Miss Andrews, I think you need to take a seat.”
“No, Mr. Killdaren. We’re well beyond a polite conversation. What are you so afraid of?”
He faced the fire. “I told you earlier. Only Alex and I had motive. I’ll not see him hanged.”
“But what if your brother is innocent as well? Not just your life is being ruined.”
“I have cause to believe Alex’s anger the night Helen died was beyond his control. I met with Helen last, and the way she described his reaction…Besides, our lives were ruined from conception. Nothing can change that.”
“Well, it certainly won’t change if you won’t ever allow yourself to see a different way,” I said, devastated by his blindness. I loved him, and he didn’t love me enough to see another way. The hopelessness of standing there in firelight with him, struggling in a churning sea of pain rather than holding him, cherishing that we both yet lived after coming so close to death, was more than I could bear. I had to leave Killdaren’s Castle, and I had to tell my family that I’d found Mary.
I went to the door and he didn’t stop me, didn’t call me back. I wanted his touch with every fiber of my being, couldn’t imagine never knowing its thrill again. I couldn’t imagine not hearing the timbre of his voice or facing the piercing green of his gaze. Tears fell. I turned to look at him one last time, feeling as if my insides were being twisted into knots. I wished that I could have spent one more night in his arms, loving him as woman to man, burying my hand in the silk of his hair, pressing against the heat of his body, breathing his scent, and feeling the fire of his passion.
He still faced the flames of the fire. “We’ll speak in the morning about taking you to your sisters and your aunt.” His voice was jagged with cutting pain. His hands were fisted at his side and I knew he hurt, that he wasn’t indifferent to me. But he didn’t love enough to let himself live.
I didn’t say anything more. I wouldn’t be here come morning, but I didn’t tell him that, because I didn’t have the words to say goodbye.
I entered the bedchamber I shared with Bridget, dashing at my tears. She, Prudence and Rebecca were there.
“Blimey, Cassie, what is it?”
“I…I have to go now,” I said, bolstering myself.
Prudence gasped, stricken. “Surely, the Killdaren isn’t asking you to leave?”
I shook my head. “He mustn’t know until after I’m gone, and I will leave a note explaining why I left for you to give to him in the morning. I have to go see my sisters and my aunt at Seafarer’s Inn. I have to tell them about Mary.” I couldn’t see Sean again and still hold onto my resolve not to beg him to love me.
But that wasn’t truly possible, and I’d always known it, though I’d forgotten it. Someday I would dream of death again, and what then? What if I dreamed of his death, or the death of our child? If my own mother could step away from me at a moment like that, how could I ask a man to share that burden?
Rebecca ran up to me and I pulled her into my arms for a tight hug.
“Horseman gone. Mary’s in heaven,” she said.
“Yes.” I hugged her tighter, glancing at the surprise on both Prudence’s and Bridget’s faces.
Rebecca had made a huge step, but I had to ask just a little more. I brushed her cheek gently. “Can you tell us more about the horseman and Mary, Rebecca?”
She shook her head. “Horseman came from the sea and took Mary. She cried.” Tears filled her eyes then and I feared she would revert back to her hysteria. “Mum!” she called.
“I’m here, precious.” Prudence enveloped Rebecca in her arms. Rebecca sighed and placed her head on Prudence’s shoulder instead of screaming. We knew then that whatever trauma Rebecca had suffered that day, she was recovering well, though we might never know exactly what happened.
I looked at Bridget and Prudence and Rebecca and my heart squeezed painfully again. How could I leave them? They’d all become so dear. Seemingly reading my mind, Bridget’s eyes watered, and she started fussing with the furniture, speaking very fast, as if hurting and trying to cover it up. “I’ll be leaving here myself, sometime. As soon as we hear from Flora, I’m going to take my mum and my brother there and tend to my mum. The doctor’s still not sure what’s wrong. He doesn’t think it’s the consumption, but she isn’t improvin’ as well as she should. I think it’s because she’s not restin’ as she ought. Keeps taking sewing to help pay for things since Flora’s gone.”
“Well.” I swallowed hard. “You have to let me know where…Oh Bridget…You have to come to Oxford! You, your mum and your brother! You and he can…you both can get an education!”
“Real schooling? Blimey, Cassie.” Bridget’s eyes were brighter than stars. She shook her head, and tears filled her eyes again. “I can’t go. Not yet. I can’t leave Stuart to face the arrest of his mum and his brother alone. I have to help him. And I have to wait on word from Flora too.”
I nodded, understanding, but still feeling as something precious kept escaping me every attempt to hold on to it. “Then later. You must come as soon as you can.”
She nodded.
“And you too, Prudence. You must come to Oxford to visit me and my family. And there are teachers there that could teach Rebecca so many things that she could do.”
Prudence shook her head. “No, Cassie. This is our world. Rebecca and I would be outcasts anywhere else. I know who I am and I’ll not pretend to be different. Besides.” She brushed a loving hand over Rebecca’s head. “I don’t dare leave. As long as Rebecca and I are here, he can’t pretend we don’t exist. He can pretend we don’t matter, but he can’t forget us.”
I saw a sharp stab of pain in Prudence’s eyes before she buried her face against Rebecca’s soft hair. And I realized for the first time that all of her quiet ways, her dignity, and almost haunting beauty were because she loved a man who wouldn’t return her affection.
“The earl,” I whispered.
Prudence nodded.
“Casss, d-d-don’t go,” Rebecca cried, slipping back into her stutter.
“I have to, but I will see you again.” I was determined to keep them a part of my lif
e somehow. All of Mary’s hopes for Rebecca had to come true and I wanted to see it happen, even if from afar. “I have a present for you,” I told Rebecca and reached into my pocket.
Heart squeezing, I dug the pheasant shell out of my pocket and ran my finger over the M carved into its smoothness.
“Here, poppet.” I took Rebecca’s hand and pressed the shell into her palm.
“This is my promise that I will see you again. It is a very precious treasure and I’m going to let you keep it for me. It is a beautiful shell from the sea. And every time I see you, I’ll give you another shell so that you can feel some of the wonders from the sea whenever you want to.”
Coming over, Bridget looked down at the shell. “May I see it?”
Rebecca handed it to her. “Your cousin had a shell just like this, she did. Only it had a…” She looked at me, her eyes misty with sadness. “It had a C carved in it.”
Bridget handed the shell back to Rebecca, who absorbed herself in running her tiny fingertips over it.
My smile trembled. “We found the shells while vacationing together when were ten and kept them all of these years to remind us of each other.”
“Thank you,” Prudence said. “I’ll make sure she cares for it and I’ll let her know how special it is when she is older.”
“She’ll have many more to her collection by then,” I said. Though little, the pheasant shell was a big promise not to forget everyone here that Mary, and now I, held dear.
Prudence nodded. I could tell she didn’t believe me, but I would prove her wrong. Maybe even one day convince her and Rebecca to come to Oxford for a visit.
“Do you need help getting your things together?” Bridget asked.
I shook my head. “I, uh, readied them earlier, after seeing the doctor. I don’t have much.” I was leaving with so much less than what I’d come to Killdaren’s Castle with. My heart. “I do need a few minutes to write Mr. Killdaren a letter.”
“And I need to get Rebecca to bed.” Prudence’s smile appeared forced.
“I made a promise.” I hugged her and Rebecca.
Midnight Secrets Page 29
