by Jeannie Watt
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said on a whisper. “But I can’t take the chance that he’ll find me and hurt people close to me. That’s the kind of thing he does.” She inhaled deeply, exhaled again. “So now you know everything. Why I behaved so poorly when I first arrived, why the girls can’t come over. Why I can’t...you know...with you.”
Zach shook his head. “I don’t understand that last part, Tess.”
She cast him a frowning sidelong look, but didn’t say a word, so Zach plunged on. “Now that I know the score, I don’t see why we can’t be together.”
“Did you not hear everything I said?” she asked incredulously.
“I did.”
“Maybe you didn’t understand. Eddie applied to transfer his parole to Nevada.”
Zach rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “But he’s not necessarily looking for you.”
“Are you willing to take that chance?”
He dropped his hand back to his side. “I’m willing to be there if you need me.”
“You don’t get it,” Tess said intensely. “Eddie will hurt you. I couldn’t handle that.”
“And I don’t want to see you hurt because you’re trying to handle things alone.”
Tess pressed her fingertips to her temples. “You need to go.”
“You need to wake up and accept help. Law enforcement—”
Her eyes flashed, truly alarmed. “No.”
“Tess.”
“No one can know I’m here.”
Zach wondered how the hell he was going to deal with this. He couldn’t, really. Not if she wasn’t going to let him.
He let out a frustrated breath, started for the door. It wasn’t over in the long run, but it was for the moment. He was thinking war, not battle.
“Zach!”
He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, brought up short by the desperation in her voice. Slowly he let go of the knob and turned back toward her.
Tess stood in the kitchen doorway, color staining her cheeks. “You need to understand...it’s...really important to me that you understand—” she sucked in a long breath “—I couldn’t handle it if you got hurt.”
“Same here,” he said. “If you’re kicking me out of your life because you don’t want anything to do with me personally, I’m gone. But your stepfather...you’re not getting rid of me on that front, even if we don’t see each other. I won’t let him hurt you.”
For one long silent moment they faced off across the room.
“If he finds me,” she said quietly, giving Zach a glimmer of hope that she wasn’t using her asshole stepfather as an excuse for backing away from him.
“If he finds you,” he echoed. “He may not be looking for you, Tess.”
“Agreed,” she said in a low voice. “I really want to believe that.” She cleared her throat before continuing, “I...have been told I may be suffering from post-traumatic stress.”
He took a few slow steps toward her, cocking his head slightly to one side. That made perfect sense. He stopped several feet away, hooked his thumbs in his pockets, allowing her space.
“I know Eddie, though,” she said, glancing down. “And I am not reacting entirely from stress. I’ve had days to think about this. I know how he would respond if he did find me.” She pressed her lips together then looked up at him. “But what if he isn’t looking for me? What am I losing if he isn’t looking for me?”
Her expression was so intense that it was all Zach could do not to cross the distance between them and haul her into his arms. Hold her against him, make her feel safe. But he didn’t move.
“He’s already taken so much, Eddie has.” Tess drew in a long breath before saying, almost more to herself than to him, “I can’t let him keep taking stuff from me.”
“Agreed,” he said quietly.
“I want to be with you, Zach.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” An understatement, that. He ached to be with her.
“But if I tell you I can’t do this anymore, you have to back off.”
He raised his hands. “The only thing I can’t promise is to back off if that asshole tries to hurt you again. Other than that, our deal stands as it was. We respect our limitations. You say stop, we stop. And vice versa.”
Tess jammed her hands into her back pockets and walked closer, focusing on the floor as she moved. She stopped less than a foot away, close enough to touch—but he didn’t. This had to come from her.
“I agree,” she said, her beautiful green eyes coming up to meet his, her expression thoughtful, yet shrewd.
Zach felt a surge of relief, but he had to make one more thing perfectly clear. There was a point he would not negotiate on. “But you need to understand that I mean it when I say I will not let that bastard hurt you.”
She reached out to lay a hand on his cheek. “I truly hope Eddie never finds me.”
* * *
IT FELT LIKE slow motion as Tess took Zach’s face between her hands, the stubble on his cheeks rough against her palms, and tilted her lips up so that he could cover her mouth with his. He brought his head down slowly, his mouth hovering for a moment, as if he was making a decision, before he touched her lips, sealing the bond.
She wouldn’t allow him to get hurt, to get sucked into that part of her life. Somehow she’d make sure that didn’t happen...but right now she needed him. When he lifted his head, she brought it back down, telling him with her tongue, with the heat of her mouth, how very much she needed him. His hands settled on her hips, pulling her against him, telling her he was getting the message.
Tess pressed her lips to the underside of his jaw, felt his intake of breath as she let them travel down to the V of his shirt. She pulled away slightly to give herself room to unbutton his shirt, except that there were no buttons. He had snaps. So she popped the top one open. Then another. His hands were resting on her hips and he made no move to stop her.
Emboldened, Tess glanced up to meet his eyes, saw the heat there, felt an answering surge deep inside her, and then her fingers stilled. If she sent him away now...
He covered her hands with his. “He’s not going to find you,” Zach said.
Tess bowed her head, but Zach raised her chin. “You’re right,” she said. And he probably was.
Zach released her chin and lowered his head to nuzzle the sensitive spot near her ear, sending a shiver through her. Slowly he worked his way along the edge of her jaw to the corner of her mouth then up across her cheekbone while his other hand cupped her breasts through her clothing, moving slowly from one to the other, tracing the contours through the cloth of her shirt. Tess’s eyes drifted shut, then suddenly came open again as he scooped her up in his arms.
What the...?
“Where?” he asked. With next to no furniture in the house there was only one where unless they chose the floor, which right now, in her heightened state, Tess would be fine with. She’d also be fine with walking.
“The bedroom’s upstairs,” she said. “You can’t—”
“If I can wrestle a steer to the ground, I can carry you up a few stairs.”
And he did, though he was a bit winded at the top, where he lost his footing and Tess slipped out of his arms, laughing.
“Now that,” he said in a low voice, backing her up against the wall, “is more of what I want to see.”
“Laughing?”
He was now the one in control, capturing her mouth, one h
and on either side of her head, his body pressed against hers, flattening her breasts against his chest, the wall hard against her back. “Yes.”
But that wasn’t what he meant and she knew it. He wanted her to not be so damned afraid and distant all the time.
“I’ll try,” she said, smiling up at him as he eased back, his eyes down as he once again caressed her breasts. “Too many clothes,” she said, taking hold of the hem of her T-shirt and pulling it up over her head, tossing it aside. And now she was exposed, having brief second thoughts.
What if...?
But Zach reached behind her, undoing her bra and letting it drop on the floor, and then his hands were on her breasts, his tantalizingly rough skin against her soft flesh, snapping her nipples to full attention. And then he put his mouth where his hands had been.
Oh, yeah. His mouth.
Tess sucked in a breath through her teeth, tilting her head back against the wall as he took his mouth lower, and lower, exploring her breasts, teasing a trail down her abdomen and back up to her breasts. She was going to explode right there. And he still had too many clothes on. Her hands fisted in his hair, urging him to stand, and he abandoned his exploration of her breasts to once again take her mouth.
She reached between them, took hold of his shirt and pulled, popping open the remaining snaps, and Zach fell back, giving her more access. When she saw the lean lines of his torso, the dark hair covering hard, very hard, muscle, she felt like melting. She touched him, ran her hands over his muscular abs, thinking of how Jonas, her photographer, would have also melted. Talk about a body meant for the lens. She smiled to herself, then Zach caught his breath as her fingers glided over his skin and she felt a surge of sensual power...until she remembered that she might well be the first woman to touch him since he’d lost his wife.
Her hands stilled, but he covered them with one of his, pushing them lower, to the edge of his jeans. Tess did not need a second invitation. She unsnapped, unzipped, set him free just as his mouth came down on hers in a kiss that seemed to meld their souls, making Tess thankful she had the wall behind her to hold her up. And then the wall was gone and once again Zach was carrying her, this time into her bedroom, where he sat her on the bed.
They peeled out of their remaining clothing, tossing it piece by piece on the floor near the bed, making Tess think Zach was going to take her fast and hard, reflecting their need. But instead, once they were naked and she was finally going to feel this man’s body against hers, as she’d so often fantasized, he gently pushed her back onto the pillows.
Zach’s hands shook slightly as he caressed Tess’s body, slowly, tenderly, making her wonder if it was nerves or need. Both broke her heart a little. He came up to kiss her as his hands continued to explore, his clever fingers somehow finding all the right places as Tess returned the favor, skimming her hands over long, lean muscle, her fingers circling his erection, stroking, feeling it throb in her palm.
Tess had intended to get to know every inch of his body, as he had come to know hers, but she never got the chance as the heat flared into flames of urgency.
Tess sucked in a sharp breath as he parted her thighs, her hands clutching his shoulders as he slowly eased into her, filling her as she arched her body up to meet him. So hard, so hot. So much.
He held for a moment, meeting her eyes, making certain she was with him, and then he started to move. Tess stayed with him, matched his movements, their bodies becoming damp with sweat and need. Too late she thought about a condom.
“Zach...protection?” she asked, eyes wide, hating the thought of stopping, even if there were other avenues to pleasure.
“No worries,” he said in a low voice.
No worries? It took her a second to realize his meaning. Three kids...no worries. Ah.
And then need took over rational thought and Zach became the center of her world, filling her, moving her, making her feel whole and good again.
Tess hadn’t expected an orgasm—rarely came the first time she made love to a man—and she fully expected to wait until the second time she and Zach made love, so when the waves hit her, making her back arch and her mouth O at the intensity, it stunned her.
Seconds later, Zach plunged into her one last time, his body shuddering slightly as he came. He held for a few silent seconds, then brought himself down to sprawl on top of her, shifting his weight to the side as his head came to rest against the hollow of her sweat-slicked shoulder. Tess splayed her fingers through his damp hair, trying to catch her shaky breath as their hearts pounded together. Dear heavens.
“I should have told you I can’t get you pregnant before we started,” Zach said against her skin.
Tess smiled a little, continuing to thread her fingers through his hair. “No worries,” she said.
“I need to get home before my kids,” Zach said.
“You have a couple hours.”
“Mmm,” he said, easing his body so that it was half on her, half off.
The next thing Tess knew, he was asleep. And she was good with that.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“IS SOMETHING WRONG, Dad?” Emma’s question snapped Zach out of deep thought and he flipped the pancake he was cooking.
“Just tired,” he said. Tired and worried and wishing he knew whether Tess’s fears were realistic or an aftermath of the assault. Wishing he could head over to her place, make sure she was safe, make love to her again.
“But all the cows have calved.”
He smiled a little. “I wasn’t checking cows, I was just up late.” Worrying. Wondering. Emma held out her plate and he dumped two pancakes onto it. Lizzie came into the kitchen as Emma went to the table, her shoes still untied, got a plate out of the cupboard and took her place next to the stove where Zach was cooking.
“Two?” he asked.
“Yes, please. Shaped like hearts, okay?”
“You got it,” Zach said, smearing the batter into the requested shape as he poured it into the hot skillet.
“Dad, I didn’t mean it about buying the sparkle shoes, okay?” she said in a small voice. He could practically hear one of her sisters coaching her. “Or the bike.”
“Hey,” he said, smiling down at his youngest. “It’s okay to want stuff, kiddo, as long as you understand that you can’t always get what you want.” Even if your dad really wants to give it to you.
“Yeah,” Lizzie said wistfully, tapping her plate against her leg. “I heard about that.”
Zach flipped the heart cakes and a few moments later put them on Lizzie’s plate. She went to join Emma at the table.
“Where’s Darcy?”
“Oh,” Emma said, stopping her fork in midair, “she went down to have breakfast with Tia. They’re talking about the quilt. We’re supposed to meet her down there.”
“Great.” Zach turned off the burner and set the spatula and batter bowl in the sink.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Lizzie asked.
“After you guys go to school,” he said, turning on the faucet.
“But you put water in the batter bowl,” Emma pointed out.
“I’m in the mood for eggs,” he said. Actually he was going to make a sandwich to take with him when he went out to check the fence. Karen had always insisted on a hot breakfast and he wasn’t going to tell the girls how often he skipped that meal.
Once the girls had left for school, Zach sat at the kitchen table wondering what his next move should be.
Last night, when Zach had stopped by Tess’s on the way home from his volunteer firemen’s meeting and ended up in her bed again, she’d given him more details after they’d made love, letting the story slip out in bits and pieces.
The stepfather was a cold-blooded bastard. According to the L.A. detective handling Tess’s case, however, the guy held down a job and attended his parole meetings. Kept his nose clean.
Was it possible that he’d changed his mind about going after Tess? That he’d realized after the slashing how easily he could end up back in the penitentiary? Because he hadn’t done it himself, which meant that there was a guy out there who knew the truth. A possible loose end...who may be as afraid of Eddie as Tess was.
Jeff’s truck pulled into the driveway just as Zach was leading Roscoe out of the corral. He tied the horse to a post and walked over to meet his cousin.
“This is the guy I want you to check out.” He handed Jeff a slip of paper containing Eddie Napier’s name.
“Something to do with Tess O’Neil?” Jeff said after he read the name.
“Why?” Zach asked, startled because he and Tess had only been together a few times and as near as he knew, there’d been no witnesses. He sincerely hoped there’d been no witnesses.
Jeff smirked at his expression. “You didn’t think you could fly under the radar, did you? Especially after last night when the taillights of your truck were seen turning right, into her place, instead of left into your own.”
“What I do is no one’s business.”
Jeff shrugged. “Of course it isn’t—in Fantasyland. Here in Barlow Ridge everything is game.” He slipped the paper into his pocket. “The name?”
“I want to know who he is and what he’s done.”
“And I want to know what I’m getting into.”
Zach had debated about this for more time than he cared to think about. Keep his promise to Tess or find out what he was up against?
Jeff frowned. “This isn’t like her ex-husband or something?”
