by Darcy Burke
She found one and opened the wrapper as she returned to him. Bending over him, she stroked him like she’d done in the hot tub. He answered by fondling both of her breasts as they swayed against his chest. He tweaked her nipples, sending streaks of desire through her body.
With increasingly clumsy fingers, she rolled the condom over him, taking far longer than she wanted to. When he was finally cloaked, she straddled his hips and put the head of him at her slit. She tried to go slow, but once she felt him inside of her, she couldn’t help herself and pushed down until he was seated to the hilt.
His clasped her hips, his fingers digging into her ass. “Maggie.” He came up, initiating movement, but she wanted to control this. He said he’d wanted to give her new memories, and this was one she’d never had: her in the driver’s seat.
“Don’t move,” she commanded, pushing against his shoulders. She lifted herself until he was barely inside of her, then she sank down again. He groaned, his legs twitched, his mouth latched onto her neck.
Emboldened, she did it again. And again. Each thrust of his cock was liberating and empowering. As she rose up, he captured her breast in his mouth and sucked on her hard. The orgasm that had been threatening since the hot tub cascaded over her, robbing her breath and her sanity. The control she’d exerted with her movements completely vanished as she gave herself over to ecstasy. He took over, slamming up into her with vicious, marvelous strokes. His cries matched hers, and she could only imagine what the neighboring rooms must think, but she didn’t care. This moment was for her.
He pulled her down on him one last time and shouted her name as he came, his body shuddering in release. She combed her fingers through his hair and snagged his earlobe with her teeth. Their movements slowed, and she slumped against him, completely spent.
“You were incredible,” he breathed. He brushed her hair back and kissed her collarbone.
She smiled as a little bit of the darkness that had taken up residence in her head broke apart and fell away. “Thank you.” She climbed off him and fell onto the couch.
He stood and went toward the bathroom. “At this rate, I might have to hit the market over at the gas station and get more condoms.”
She got up and dried herself, then met him in the bed a few minutes later. “We should sleep.” She yawned, as if to punctuate the sentence, and closed her eyes. She’d never felt so blissfully tired in her entire life.
He rolled to his side, facing her, and kissed her temple. “Good night, Magnolia.”
Her eyes flew open and stared into his. “Don’t call me that.” She gave him a playful swat.
He laughed. “I’ve been dying to ask you about that. Why on earth is your name Magnolia?”
She looked at him like he’d gone daft. “You saw my mother, right?”
“I did. She’s very . . . eclectic.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nice word choice. Like I told you before, she’s a total hippie. My brother’s name is Rowan.”
He traced his finger along her arm and shoulder. “She likes trees, I gather. Is that where you got your green thumb?”
“No, that was my grandmother. Mom likes green things, but she doesn’t know the first thing about growing them.”
“She’s lucky she has you then,” he said, stroking her neck.
“I guess.”
“What does that mean? You aren’t close?”
Maggie set her hand on his chest. “We have next to nothing in common. You should know better than anyone that you can’t choose your family.”
He pulled her close and rolled to his back so that she snuggled against his side. “Isn’t that the truth? I’m sorry you don’t have a better relationship. I missed my mom when I was in Florida. I finally come home, and she leaves.”
Maggie traced her finger over his chest, making invisible ovals. “I’m sorry about that. She’ll be back soon, right? Didn’t you tell me she was coming home for Derek’s wedding?”
“Yeah, she’ll be here next Friday.”
She sensed he was thinking about things he shouldn’t—Derek and whatnot. To distract him, she said the first thing that popped into her head: “My parents have an open marriage. They took up separate residences when I was in middle school, and I spent every summer of my life at crazy free-love communes until I was fifteen and refused to go anymore. It was the weirdest upbringing you can imagine. And yeah, I still have serious issues with it.”
He turned his head to look at her. “You’re kidding.”
“I wish I was.”
“Like, they have boyfriends and girlfriends and they’re still married?”
She almost laughed at the incredulity in his tone. “Apparently Mom has a boyfriend now. But yeah, they’re still married. She and Dad were making out last weekend like it was no big deal. They’re so odd. I don’t get it.”
“That’s . . . different. But I guess that’s their choice, and as long as it doesn’t hurt anything . . .”
“That’s a good theory, but when your parents are so wrapped up in their own lives that they barely have time to, you know, parent, you grow up wondering why they had you in the first place.”
“Ouch.” He massaged her shoulder and pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Maggie. My experience is the total opposite. My parents couldn’t have children, and they underwent a series of fertility treatments until an in vitro attempt was finally successful. When they had six viable fetuses, Mom wanted to keep them all. She went on bed rest at sixteen weeks and did everything possible to bring us into the world safe and healthy. And she only continued that commitment after we were born. Managing six kids at once, some with medical challenges, was no mean feat.”
Her heart swelled at the love he described—both his mother’s and his, which was evident in his voice as he spoke of her. “I can imagine. You’re incredibly lucky.”
“Yeah, I suppose I am.”
“So your brother Hayden, he really was a major oops?”
Kyle’s chest rumbled as he laughed. “Completely. They’d worked so hard to have us, and then four or five months later, boom, Mom’s pregnant again without even trying.” He glanced down at her, smiling. “Well, without medical intervention.”
“Amazing.”
“She had her tubes tied after that—seven was definitely enough.”
“Hence the name of your show.” She pushed up and leaned over him, looking down at his insanely handsome face. “And here I am sleeping with a celebrity.”
He barked out a laugh. “I haven’t noticed any sleeping going on.”
She reached down and brushed his hip on her way to his cock. “Nope. Probably not yet either. I’m suddenly feeling very awake.”
He curled his hand up her neck and brought her head down to kiss her. “Sleep is overrated.”
WAKING UP IN Maggie’s arms was about the best way Kyle had ever started a morning. He wished he could’ve made her a gourmet breakfast instead of the lukewarm room service they’d had. Next time.
Next time?
Hell yes, next time. In fact, they had a whole weekend staring at them.
She emerged from the bathroom dressed, unfortunately, her hair wound up on top of her head. “Ready?”
She looked and smelled so fresh, he was more than tempted to say no. He got up from the couch and strode toward her. “We don’t have to check out for another hour . . .”
“Yes, but we’re out of condoms, sadly.” She flashed him a smile.
“I can think of plenty of things to do that won’t require a condom.” He leaned down and kissed her. She tasted like minty toothpaste, which he’d never thought of as particularly tasty, but right now he wanted to devour her whole.
She pushed away from him with a contented sigh. “You’re insatiable.”
“When it comes to you, yes.”
She turned away and picked up her purse. “Compulsive, even.”
Compulsive. Like his gambling. He’d all but forgotten they were next to a casino and
that he’d come here with the intent of playing poker, maybe booking some sports action, and pretty much losing himself in the game. It still called to him like a naughty siren, but the lure of Maggie was even stronger.
He snagged her hand and drew her to face him. “Hey, are you trying to therapize me again?”
The little pleats formed between her eyes, and he had to admit they were incredibly adorable. “Isn’t that why you called me out here last night?”
Yes, but about the gambling. Did she know that his track record with women wasn’t much better? “What did Alex tell you about my romantic life?”
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “I shouldn’t talk to you about that.”
“Come on, it’s about me, not him.” He could tell from her reaction that she knew something. “He said I’m a lothario, right?”
“I believe he said something like ‘not going to settle down anytime soon.’ ”
That wasn’t so bad.
“But since you mentioned it, are you a lothario? You’re certainly good-looking enough to be.”
He laughed, but her question sparked an underlying discomfort, because yeah, he sort of was. Or had been. Or was in remission or something. “I haven’t found a reason to settle down.” He raked her with a seductive stare, imagining her full breasts filling his hands and her lush legs encircling his waist.
“Knock. It. Off.” She snatched her hand away. “I need to go home and water my plants.”
Reluctantly, he followed her to the door. “Any chance I can persuade you to come over tonight? After your tomatoes are good and hydrated.”
She turned as she reached the threshold. “Maybe.”
He trailed her into the hall and to the elevator. Once they were inside, she touched his arm. “I just had a thought. You got me thinking about something Alex said once. We talked about whether he wanted a girlfriend. And there was someone he liked, someone he maybe had a crush on. I think it might’ve been a coworker.”
“Really?” Emotion socked Kyle in the gut—the familiar pain of loss coupled with the frustration about what would never be. “Do you know if he was seeing her?”
“I don’t think so, but we only talked about it once or twice.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but maybe it will help with the drug investigation. If he was close to someone at work, maybe she could help?”
“Yeah, maybe.” He got caught up in his brother for a moment. “He wanted a girlfriend?”
“I think so, yes.”
“I never knew him to have one. A friend of ours went to prom with him in high school—we all went in a big group. And in college, I thought he might’ve been seeing someone, but he never talked about it.” It was just another way in which he’d felt inadequate, probably. Kyle wished he could go back, wished he would’ve done more to help Alex. Maybe then he wouldn’t have chosen death over life.
“Kyle?” Maggie’s soft voice startled him. She was standing in the door of the elevator, holding it open. He hadn’t even felt them stop or heard the chime.
“Yeah.” He walked out, and she took his hand.
“Don’t go there,” she said. “You are not responsible for Alex’s problems or the way he felt. Whether he had a girlfriend or didn’t.”
“I could’ve been a better brother. I never should’ve left.”
“I told you not to go there.” She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
“Wait, you mentioned a totem the other night. What did you give him? Maybe I can find it and give it back to you.”
Her eyes lit for a moment and then darkened. “There isn’t really a totem. I made that up to explain your being at my house.”
He felt a surge of disappointment, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the fact that there wasn’t really a totem or that she’d had to come up with an excuse for them being together.
They got to the lobby and checked out, then he walked her to her car. The sun was already hot. It was going to be a scorcher.
She laid her hand over his chest. “What, no parking lot shenanigans? This is the first time we’ve been in one without groping each other.”
He knew she was trying to lighten his mood and appreciated the hell out of her for it. “If you promise to come over later, I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
Her eyes sparkled as she laughed softly. “Okay. Text me your address. I’m curious to see where you live.”
“It’s Hayden’s address—his house, remember? I’m just occupying his life.” It sounded so impermanent—kind of sad, really. Christ, what the hell was wrong with him? He’d just spent an incredible night with an amazing woman. He cupped her face and kissed her long and deep.
When he let her go, she was breathless. He smiled. “See you later, Magnolia.”
She smacked him in the butt as he turned to go. “Don’t make me change my mind.”
He threw her a scalding look and held his arms out. “You won’t say no to this, baby.”
She grinned, shaking her head. Then she got in her car and drove away.
Feeling a bit better, Kyle worked to keep his mind from antagonizing thoughts like Alex and his own deficiency. His phone buzzed, and he turned on the Bluetooth as he glanced at the display.
“Hi, Dad.” The tension he’d just managed to stow away surged anew.
“Kyle, I wanted you to know that we found the money.”
He should’ve felt vindicated, but he only felt angry. “I knew you would.”
“Royce pocketed a hundred-dollar bill because he was nervous about leaving it in the till, and then he forgot about it until this morning.”
“Is that it?”
“No, it isn’t,” Dad said, exhaling. “I’m sorry about what happened. Derek is, too.”
“I doubt that.”
“You make it damned hard to apologize.”
And he wasn’t interested in making it easier. Why should he be when they’d been so quick to accuse him?
“Kyle?”
“Still here.”
Dad exhaled. “I really am sorry. Maybe if we could talk—really talk about what happened . . .”
“The way you talk about Alex?”
Dad’s intake of breath was sharp. “I don’t need to talk about him.”
“You need to do something.”
“Stop deflecting. You can’t keep doing that.”
Kyle was beginning to think he’d learned the art of deflection from a master. “Why not? What’s the point in rehashing history? You know what happened, I know what happened. I left, got my shit together,” somewhat, he thought, “and now I’m back. Why can’t you just accept me as I am?”
“I . . . I’m trying. I just still don’t understand how things got that bad.”
And he never would. Addiction wasn’t something that was easily understood by people who didn’t have one. “I gotta run, Dad.”
“Kyle, are you . . . are you okay?”
He hoped he meant about what had happened and wasn’t continuing to harp on whether he was gambling. The fact that he was currently driving away from a casino wasn’t something he planned to share. “I’m fine, Dad. Really. Talk to you later.”
He ended the call feeling frustrated. He summoned thoughts of Maggie and their night together to try to dispel the uneasiness pricking his insides. Gradually, his mood improved enough that he relaxed. Maggie was a balm for his soul, it seemed.
But what did that mean? He’d been fixated on plenty of women for a few weeks or a few months, but that was it. Maggie could be just another one in the parade. Or could she be more? He’d never confessed his gambling addiction to anyone the way he had to her. Did that mean she was different? That this could be something lasting?
Except, if he were honest with himself, he’d only scratched the surface with her about his gambling. She didn’t know how bad things had gotten before Dad had bailed him out or how he’d spiraled in Florida—that he had to be constantly vigilant so that he
didn’t hit rock bottom again.
But maybe she knew. She was a therapist after all. It was her job to see beneath people’s exterior. Was that really what he wanted? A girlfriend who could somehow interpret his problems without him having to share them? A girlfriend who would be better able to understand and cope with his faults? Put like that, it didn’t sound too healthy.
For now, being with her felt good. For now, he wanted that to be enough. No, he needed it to be.
Chapter Ten
MAGGIE LEANED HER head back against the seat in Kyle’s SUV as they drove up the final hill to the monastery. She’d never been up here and was looking forward to what had to be an amazing view. She glanced over at Kyle, recalling their incredible night—the second in a row. He’d made her a delicious breakfast that morning that had included the best poached eggs she’d ever had.
And now he was showing her his family’s project—Alex’s project. She felt a little apprehensive knowing that he’d been planning this—and his suicide—for months. Maybe even the entire time he’d come to see her for treatment. She shoved the thought away. If she didn’t, it could consume her.
Kyle pulled into the dirt parking lot, and the monastery rose before them. The monks’ quarters, three stories tall, arced out to the left, while the church with its two-hundred-foot spire dominated the landscape. It was beautiful but overgrown, and she wished she could come back with a pair of pruners.
He parked the car and jumped out, coming around to meet her as she did the same. “This is The Alex,” he said. “Or it will be anyway.”
“This is a massive undertaking. I’m in awe.”
“It’s all Alex’s vision. Well, except the wedding cottage. That was entirely Sara’s doing. Come on, I’ll show you.” He took her hand, and they passed a trailer that likely served as the office on their way to a wide dirt and gravel path.
Like the main parking area, the path was overgrown. Shrubs and grasses crowded each other, and the scent of ripening blackberries overwhelmed her senses. “Someone needs to cut those berry bushes back,” she said, pointing at a particularly nasty tangle.
“We have a landscaper due to start later this week.”
