Amber was more confused than ever now as she walked over to the counter, picking up the newspaper Ronnie had just thrown down. And the second she looked at it her heart almost stopped dead, her breath catching in her throat as she read the headline: ‘RED STAR BOSS AND HIS PLAYER’S FIANCEE IN SECRET RELATIONSHIP PAST – Newcastle Red Star manager Jim Allen and News North East sports reporter Amber Sullivan – daughter of former Red Star player Freddie Sullivan and fiancée of bad-boy footballer Ryan Fisher – had a secret relationship that began when Amber was just sixteen-years-old and Jim was a player at the club, alongside Amber’s father…’
‘How…? I don’t…’ Amber looked at Ronnie, hardly daring to believe what she was seeing written down in front of her. It had to be a joke, surely. Didn’t it? Because this couldn’t be happening. Not like this.
‘Somebody’s obviously blabbed to the press,’ Ronnie said, taking the paper from Amber and placing it back down on the counter. ‘So, who else knows?’
‘I… I told Debbie. Last night…’
‘Jesus, Amber, why?’ Ronnie sighed. ‘I thought you of all people would have been the one to stay discreet.’
‘I had no choice,’ Amber went on, leaning back against the counter. ‘She saw Jim and me… She caught him kissing me, last night.’
‘What the fuck?’ Ryan gasped. ‘What the hell were you doing with him last night, for fuck’s sake? It was your frigging Hen Night?’
‘Oh, and you fucking two slags in our bed on your Stag Night was acceptable behaviour, was it?’
‘What the hell’s been going on here?’ Ronnie asked. But at least he now knew why there was an atmosphere in the room that could only be cut with a very sharp knife.
‘Nothing,’ Amber replied, shifting her gaze from Ryan and looking down at the floor.
‘Nothing,’ Ronnie repeated. ‘Okay, so, something’s obviously kicked off between you two but, thankfully, that’s not making the headlines right now, is it? This is.’ He looked at Amber. ‘Do you think it was Debbie who went to the press?’
‘No. I don’t think it was her. She promised me she wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Gary…’ She stopped talking and looked over at Ryan, who was now shifting from foot-to-foot, staring out of the French windows opposite. ‘Ryan… you didn’t…?’
‘He guessed, a while back,’ he said quietly. ‘I couldn’t deny it, could I?’
‘You could have fucking tried.’ Amber pushed both hands through her hair as panic started to set in. What if her dad had seen this? How was she supposed to explain it all to him when she still had this shit with Ryan to sort out?
‘Do you think it was him?’ Ronnie asked, almost absent-mindedly putting a hand on Amber’s waist, stroking it gently, trying to keep her calm. ‘Gary? Was it him who blabbed to the press?’
‘I don’t know,’ Ryan sighed, dropping down to his haunches, hanging his head. ‘He promised he wouldn’t say anything…’
‘Yeah, well, we all know what promises from the likes of you can mean.’ Ronnie took a quick look at Amber as she chewed nervously on a nail, staring out of the window in front of her. ‘Could he have said something to anyone last night?’ Ronnie went on. ‘You were all quite obviously drunk, and we all know that can make mouths looser than usual.’
Ryan sighed again, standing up and throwing his head back. ‘Last night, it was a fucking blur, man. I can’t remember what I was saying half the time, or who I was saying it to, things were just so… I don’t know. I don’t know whether he said anything or not, but… I don’t know.’
‘You idiot,’ Amber hissed, turning to face him. ‘You bloody idiot!’
‘Jesus, come on! I said I can’t remember what happened last night, and anyway, how can you be so fucking sure it wasn’t your new best friend who blabbed, huh?’
‘Because she actually wants me to be happy, Ryan.’
Ryan’s phone ringing stopped the argument from going any further and he answered the call immediately, his expression changing as whoever it was on the other end of the line spoke.
‘What is it?’ Amber asked, because it was obvious something was wrong.
‘Shit!’ Ryan said, throwing his phone down onto the counter behind him.
‘Care to divulge what that was all about?’ Ronnie asked, folding his arms and arching his eyebrows.
‘Gary says he thinks we might have mentioned something to either Emmie or Jenna – the girls we were…’ He stopped talking for a second, well aware that Amber would be able to put two and two together and work out just who Emmie and Jenna were. ‘He can’t remember what, exactly, but he remembers all of us talking about the boss, and… and apparently I said something about Amber and him having some kind of relationship when she was a teenager… It was probably one of them who…’ Ryan sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry, okay? Last night – shit! I can’t even remember half of it, I really can’t…’
‘Well, that makes it alright then, doesn’t it?’ Amber said, her tone carrying more than a hint of sarcasm. She felt sick. Her stomach was turning to the point where she felt physically ill. Those two women – women who’d quite happily fucked her fiancé without a second thought to anyone else – they knew about her past? They knew about her and Jim? And they’d used it as a vehicle to make money to fund their pathetic, sordid little lifestyles.
She turned and ran out of the kitchen, only making it to the downstairs loo just in time to throw up a breakfast she hadn’t even eaten.
‘Amber?’ Ronnie’s voice filtered through the gap in the door, barely audible above the sound of the phone ringing.
‘I’m okay,’ she said, sitting back against the wall, wiping her mouth with a fistful of toilet paper.
‘Yeah. You sound it.’
The phone’s continuous ringing only served to make her more on edge, wondering who it was going to be on the other end – her father wanting to know why she’d lied to him all these years, more press wanting to hear her side of the story. She didn’t know if she could cope with any of it today. It just didn’t feel real, and if she was going to handle any of it with the dignity required to get through this then it needed to feel real.
‘Whoever it is will leave a message,’ Ronnie said, his voice kind, his presence now very necessary. If ever there was a day when she needed her best friend, this was it.
The doorbell ringing made her jump and she leaned forward, pulling her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead against them, just wanting to shut it all out for a few more minutes.
Ronnie was quiet for a second, then she heard him come back to the door, pushing it open and joining her inside, crouching down to her level. ‘It’s the press. And I’m afraid it’s gonna be like this for a while, kiddo. They’re already starting to gather outside and although it’s probably the last thing you feel like doing, somebody’s gonna have to tell them something at some point.’
‘Jesus… Kevin’s gonna go ballistic.’
‘You reckon?’ Ronnie almost couldn’t keep the smirk off his face. ‘It was probably him at the door; you know how he loves to be first when it comes to a local scandal.’
‘It’s not funny,’ Amber said, trying not to smirk herself. ‘Ronnie!’
‘I know, I’m sorry. But, maybe talking to News North East is the way to go, don’t you think? After all, they’re your employers, so surely they’ve got the right to feature your side of the story before anyone else? Because you can’t pretend this is just going to go away. It won’t. Not for a while yet, anyway.’
‘Shit! I can’t believe this is happening. I’m just some local sports reporter who’s really not that interesting. How the hell did I end up here?’
‘I think you know the answer to that question already,’ Ronnie replied, pulling her up to her feet.
‘Speaking of questions,’ Amber said, attempting to change the subject for a second, even though she knew it wouldn’t last long, ‘… who’s this new lady in your life, then? When I rang you last night…’
‘You really want to talk about that now?’
‘Yeah! Why not? I’m curious, nosy, call it what you like. So, are you seeing someone new?’
‘Sort of,’ Ronnie mumbled, looking down at the ground.
‘Sort of,’ Amber repeated. ‘What’s that supposed to mean? Ronnie…?’
‘This isn’t really the time to be discussing my love life, is it?’
‘I think it’s the perfect time,’ Amber said, sitting down on the stairs and pulling her knees up to her chest again. ‘Anything to distract me from everything else that’s happening.’
‘Yeah. Because burying your head in the sand is always the best option.’
‘I’m not…’ She looked at her best friend, who just threw her a look back as he sat down next to her. ‘Okay,’ she sighed. ‘I am. But you can’t blame me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Ronnie. What am I supposed to do?’
Ronnie was stopped from answering that impossible question by Ryan wandering into the hall, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his face a picture of confusion.
‘Are you still here?’ Amber said, turning away from him. She couldn’t bear to look at him, she just didn’t really know why. Because what he’d done had made her sick to her stomach? Or because she still loved him and couldn’t bear the thought of saying goodbye? For the briefest of seconds she almost felt sorry for him – he couldn’t help the fact he seemed to like pressing the self-destruct button. But then she remembered the humiliation she’d felt just a few hours earlier when she’d seen two women all over him, witnessed him enjoying every sick second of the things they were doing to him. That managed to wipe away any remaining pity she might be feeling.
‘Amber, I’m sorry,’ Ryan said quietly. It seemed such an inadequate word, given the circumstances, but what else could he say? From the way things were panning out it seemed as though all of this was his fault. He should never have said anything to anyone, but then, maybe the thought of Amber and Jim being in such close proximity to each other all the time, maybe it was something that had constantly been at the back of his mind, even if he hadn’t always been aware of it.
‘You’re sorry,’ Ronnie repeated slowly, staring at this very famous but very mixed-up young man. ‘Have you any idea what you’ve just done? Huh? Have you?’
‘Hey, listen, before you start throwing accusations around it wasn’t actually me who spoke to the press, okay? It was…’ He stopped talking, but Ronnie continued to stare at him, arching an eyebrow.
‘You shouldn’t have said anything, to anybody, Ryan. End of story.’
Ryan leaned back against the hall wall, closing his eyes for a second. He wished he could turn the clock back, to the point where he and Amber were making love in the kitchen, just a few hours ago, only this time he would make sure neither of them left the house. They’d have that night in that they’d both really wanted, and none of this would have happened. He’d never wished for anything more in his entire life.
‘I think you two need to talk,’ Ronnie said, pulling himself up off the stairs.
‘Do we?’ Amber asked in surprise. ‘About what, exactly? The weather? Last night’s TV…?’
Ronnie looked at her. ‘Grow up, Amber.’ He turned to Ryan. ‘Both of you, sort it out. Like adults. I’ll be in the kitchen fending off phone calls.’
‘He’s right,’ Ryan said, looking at Amber. ‘Maybe we do need to talk.’
‘Now, you see, I disagree. I think we’ve done all the talking we need to do, Ryan. There’s not much else we can say. And if you really think that we can salvage anything from this situation then you’re even more deluded than I thought you were.’
‘So, that’s it, then? You’re gonna give up without any kind of a fight?’
She stood up, staring at him for a few seconds before laughing, a quick, cynic-laced laugh. Then, without saying anything more, she walked calmly upstairs, into the bedroom she didn’t think she’d ever be able to sleep in again, not without remembering the twisted scene she’d witnessed in there just a few hours ago.
She immediately started throwing the remainder of Ryan’s things into a suitcase she’d already pulled out of the loft earlier that morning, determined to rid herself of any trace of him as soon as possible. Ronnie was wrong – they didn’t need to talk. She wanted Ryan out of her life, so she didn’t have to think about what had happened anymore. Besides, there were more important things to worry about now, weren’t there? Thanks to him.
A tap on the door didn’t distract her in the slightest. ‘I’ve told you, I’m not interested. There’s nothing left to talk about.’
‘Well, I think there is, honey.’
She stopped what she was doing when she heard his voice. That soft, American accent that had captured her heart over twenty-one years ago and still refused to let go. She should have realised he was going to turn up, at some point. She certainly didn’t feel surprised at his appearance. In fact, if anything, she almost felt relieved. Even though he’d doubtless caused the press and media outside much excitement on his arrival.
‘Can I come in, Amber? Please?’
She walked over to the window, her head spinning with the confusion and anger and hurt that were all fighting to make themselves the dominant emotion within her, which was proving to be a tough job. They were all equally deserving of that title as far as she was concerned. ‘Yeah. Okay,’ she sighed, staring out at the view of Newcastle City Centre away in the distance. The city she loved. A city she didn’t ever really want to leave, but if this mess she suddenly found herself in got any bigger she might have no other choice. Running away again might be the only option left open to her.
‘Ronnie’s explained what he thinks has happened,’ Jim said, quietly closing the door behind him and walking towards her. She turned around to face him, leaning back against the window sill. ‘I guess this was always going to happen at some point, huh?’
Amber looked down at the ground, taking a deep breath as the doorbell rang downstairs. ‘That’ll no doubt be my dad.’
‘We’ll talk to him together, Amber. We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of…’
She looked up at him – this handsome man who’d taken over her life, because she’d let him. ‘Haven’t we? So, why all the sneaking about then, Jim? Why all the secrecy and the hiding and…’
‘Amber!’ Freddie Sullivan’s voice boomed up the stairs and all of a sudden Amber felt sixteen again as all the guilt she’d felt back then flooded through her once more.
‘Shit!’ She threw her head back and closed her eyes, sighing heavily. ‘We should have seen this coming. How could we have been so stupid?’
‘We didn’t know it would end up like this. How could we know that?’
She looked at Jim again. ‘Talk about the past coming back to haunt us.’ She could hear Ronnie downstairs trying to calm her father down, even though this wasn’t his problem. This was her fault, and Jim’s. Nobody else’s. Yet here they were, hiding, away from it all. Just like they’d always done.
‘Maybe it’s a good thing,’ Jim said quietly, taking a step closer towards her.
‘And how do you work that one out?’ Amber asked, narrowing her eyes.
‘Ronnie told me you and Ryan… He said the wedding’s off. You and Ryan are finished.’
‘He’s got no right to tell you anything, considering he doesn’t even know the full story himself. Today’s events have kind of superseded all of that.’ She looked at Jim again, his green eyes staring right into hers. ‘Is Ryan still here?’
Jim shook his head. ‘No, he’s gone. I gather it was more than likely his indiscretion that caused all of this?’
‘Probably,’ Amber sighed, pushing both hands through her hair. ‘It’s just one big mess, though, isn’t it? And we can’t hide up here forever…’
‘Listen, Amber, I can… I can put him on the transfer list, if that’s what you want. The window is still very much open and… maybe it’s for the best.’
Am
ber looked up sharply. ‘For who, exactly? No, Jim, that’s not what I want. And I’m not sure it’s what the club will want, either. He’s the best player Red Star have got, you paid millions for him just six months ago, why the hell would you want to sell him? That’s letting our personal shit interfere with business and… and we’ve got to deal with this like the adults we are.’
‘I have the power to get him out of our lives, Amber, don’t you see that?’
She looked at him, narrowing her eyes again, laughing slightly. ‘Jim, you’re a football manager, not the Godfather. And you don’t really have the power at all, do you? You can’t make that decision on your own.’
‘They’d keep me over him, honey. I can guarantee that.’
She shook her head, her eyes still fixed firmly on his. ‘No. No, we don’t do anything that’s only going to draw more attention to everything, that’s ridiculous. All of this… it’s nothing that can’t be sorted. In time.’ She wished she felt as confident about that as she sounded.
‘What if I tell the board I think he’s gone too far this time? That he crossed a line, that he… I know what happened last night, Amber. And before you start telling me I don’t know the facts, I do, because Ryan told me himself. So I know he crossed that line. And if all of this hadn’t have happened today I’d be hauling both him and Gary over the coals, believe me. The pair of them are still probably looking at a two-match ban, if I’ve got anything to do with it.’
‘Is that wise? What did I just say? We don’t need to bring any more attention to a situation we should be trying to diffuse.’
‘So, you’re happy to see him get away with it?’
‘Jesus, Jim, come on. He isn’t “getting away” with anything. He’s just thrown our relationship down the toilet, he’s ruined everything. So I really don’t think he feels as though he’s getting off scot-free, do you?’
Jim took another step towards Amber. ‘Maybe… maybe this was the way things were always going to go.’
Striker (Book 1 in the 'Striker' Trilogy) Page 45
