I moved to the dresser and reached for my clothes.
“How could you fuck Clayton?”
“Shit. Your ass didn’t want him,” I snipped as I slipped a sundress over my head.
“And that made it all right?”
“Bitch, you decided to take Leroy’s ass back. That mothafucka is screwing every fat bitch in town. You are just one of many. He plays on your insecurity, only you are too stupid to realize that.”
Nadine tried to defuse the situation and dropped a hand to my shoulder. “Y’all need to quit tripping.”
I pushed her hand away. “You need to shut your dyke-ass up! If you put your hands on me one more time I’m gonna fuck you up.”
“You are trifling.” Kayla stuck her finger in my face. I snapped my head back. No, the bitch didn’t put her finger in my face.
“Bitch, you would want to get out my face before I hurt you.”
Nadine, Kayla, and I all started shouting at the same time. The first one who touched me, it was on and popping.
“Stop it! Stop it!”
We all grew silent. I glanced over at my sister, who was leaning over holding her stomach.
“Stop it, all of you. This is not why I asked y’all here.”
I clicked my tongue. “Why the fuck did you ask us here? That’s what I want to know.”
I noticed that tears were streaming down her face. After a few moments, she said, “I have cancer.”
It took a moment for her words to register. “What?”
“I have cancer,” she repeated as she lowered her weary body onto the bed.
This was un-fucking-believable. “I can’t believe this shit! You flew me down here so you could tell me you’ve got cancer.”
She returned her gaze to me and said, “No. I flew you down here so I could tell you I have to have surgery.”
We were all stunned to silence.
Confused, I didn’t blink. Kayla was the first to speak. “Cancer?” she whispered. “What kind of cancer?”
“Ovarian cancer.”
There was pain on Kayla’s face.
I finally found my voice. “You had me fly all the way down here just so you could tell me this shit.”
“No, I flew you down here to tell you my cancer has come back and I have to have surgery again.”
“Again? What do you mean again, ’cause this is the first I’ve heard of it?”
“I was first diagnosed three years ago. That’s why I had the hysterectomy.”
“Oh God!” Kayla cried. She burst out in tears, then dashed into the bathroom.
I couldn’t believe this. My sister had never bothered to tell me that she had cancer.
Nadine moved next to Lisa and placed a comforting hand on her shoulders. The look in her eyes told me she was not the least bit shocked to hear of Lisa’s illness.
“This is bullshit.”
Nadine intervened. “Renee, listen to what she has to say.”
“You stay out of this.” I glanced over as she gave Lisa an I-told-you-so-look. “Wait a cotton pickin’ minute. You knew?”
Nadine didn’t say anything, but her silence spoke volumes. “I can’t believe this shit! This dyke knew what was going on before I did.”
“I just told her yesterday,” Lisa wearily admitted.
“You confided in this dyke before you confided in your own sister. This is a bunch of bullshit!”
Nadine stepped in. “Renee, this is not the time.”
“Bitch, fuck you. This is between me and my sister!”
“Renee, I didn’t want to worry you. That’s why I never said anything.”
Kayla was crying so loud all of us could hear her. I wanted to scream and tell her to shut the hell up. That’s not your sister who has a serious illness, it’s mine. All mine.
“Who are you to decide what to tell me? I am a grown-ass woman.” Tears filled my eyes. I headed for the door. Nadine stood between me and freedom.
“Renee, you need—”
“What you need to do is get out the way before I fuck you up.”
“Fuck you,” she spat with venom.
“No, fuck you.” I quickly reached for my shoes, ignoring Lisa, who was urging me to calm the fuck down.
Kayla stepped out of the bathroom, wiping her nose.
I moved toward the door. “Kayla, move your ass so I can get out.”
She shook her head. “Renee, I think you need to shut up and listen to what your sister has to say.”
“No, what I need to do is get the fuck out of here because obviously Lisa doesn’t need me, not when she has the two of you. Now get the fuck out of my way before I push your fat ass onto the floor!”
When she moved to the side I knew I had hurt her feelings, but so what? What about my feelings? For once someone needed to think about how I felt. As soon as I bolted through the door, I stormed out the hotel and not once looked back.
I spotted Everton as I was going through the patio area.
“Renee, I was looking for you.”
I grabbed his shirt and dragged him along with me. “Good, I was looking for you, too.”
“Where are we going?”
“Just shut up and come with me.”
I entered the building and dragged him up to the laundry room. I didn’t care who saw us or if he got in trouble. All I cared about was forgetting.
As soon as the door was shut I grabbed the buckle of his pants and whipped his dick out.
“Slow down. What’s gotten into you?”
He was acting like a bitch.
I could see the shock on his face as I pushed him back onto the table, then slipped my panties down over my hips and lowered on top of him. I rode him hard. I didn’t feel much of nothing but it didn’t matter. It was the physical contact that I craved. That I needed. As soon as I was done I climbed off the table. He reached out and tried to grab me.
I jumped out of his reach. “Don’t touch me.”
“Can we talk about what just happened?”
“Everton, we ain’t got shit to talk about. I don’t appreciate you running your mouth to Solomon. There is no us. Not now. Not ever. All you were is a fuck, and a bad one at that.”
He still kept trying to talk. I got so sick of hearing him whine like a damn baby, I fixed my dress, grabbed my panties, and headed toward the beach.
Chapter 76
RENEE
I waited at the end of the beach until I spotted the three of them leaving with their arms linked like they were the fucking Three Musketeers.
I went up to my room and shut the door, then took a seat on the bed and noticed a pamphlet on my pillow.
Ovarian cancer.
I picked it up and did not move until I had completed all twenty pages. According to the pamphlet thousands of women go years without any signs of having ovarian cancer, which is why so many, especially African Americans, don’t realize they have the disease until it is too late.
Tears streamed down my face as things started to become clear for me. Lisa had a hysterectomy because of the cancer. Her short, trendy hairstyle was not a fashion statement, but a result of chemotherapy. All this time she had been hiding things from me. Why? I’m her sister. She could tell me anything. But even as I said that I know my sister all too well. She believes it is her job to protect me, not to burden me with her problems.
Dear God, I feel like ripping my hair out. All these years I have been selfish and thinking only of myself when my sister needed me. All these years, I claimed that I hated her guts for trying to be my mama, and here she was slowly deteriorating without me even knowing it.
Why, God? Why do you have to take my sister from me? She has never done anything to hurt anyone. If anyone should be dying of cancer it should be me.
I started crying hard and couldn’t stop because it wasn’t fair. Lisa didn’t deserve this. Not her. Me. I’m the bitch who sleeps with a total stranger without any remorse.
I must have dozed off, because I woke up to the sound of light knocking at the do
or. My heart jumped in my chest. I just knew it was Lisa. We needed to talk because there was so much I needed to say to her.
I rose from the bed, took a deep breath, then opened it. Everton brushed past me and entered the room.
Oh, no he didn’t. “Uh, can I help you with something?”
“Renee, we need to talk.”
“We ain’t got shit to talk about.” Before I could cuss his ass out, he pushed the door shut and grabbed me by my arm.
“Hey! Have you lost your damn mind?” He dropped my ass down onto the bed. I tried to get up but his hands were on my shoulders and he pushed me back down. I tried to swing at his chest, but he was quick and grabbed my wrist.
“Renee, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then let me go!”
“All I want to do is talk.”
“Talk about what?”
“Talk about us.”
“Mothafucka, there ain’t no us!”
In that instant, I kid you not, I witnessed some kind of Satanism. His eyes darkened and his lips curled into a sickly smile. I gave up fighting and shut the hell up, quick.
“All I wanted to do was love you.” He then reached into the waistband of his pants and removed a small knife.
“Wait a minute. Hold the fuck up. Everton, let’s talk about this.”
“According to you, there is nothing left to talk about.”
I sat up straight on the bed. “Okay, well, maybe I was wrong. Maybe there is something I need to say to you.”
“Like what?”
“Like ... I’m sorry.”
Chapter 77
LISA
Lisa decided that she had waited long enough for her sister to come and talk to her. She walked back to the room and swiped her key card. It didn’t work. She swiped it again, then finally knocked.
“Go away!”
Lisa dropped her hand to her waist. “Renee, we need to talk.”
“I said go away! I’m not ready to talk to you.”
“Renee, you’re tripping!” She was practically screaming now.
“Nah, you the one tripped, for not telling me the truth. Now go away.”
She tried using her card again. “Why isn’t my card working?”
“Because I told Everton to move you across the hall with your homies.”
“You know, you do some stupid shit at times.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Whatever, to your ass!”
Pissed off, she stomped away from the room. How dare her sister check her out of her own room? She blinked back the tears that threatened to surface. Her sister was being a true ass about the situation. Yeah, she had been wrong about not telling her the truth, but there was no reason for her to act like that, especially at a time like this. She went back to the pool and took a seat with the others.
“Damn, you’re back quick. What she say?” Kayla asked between sips.
Lisa tried to swallow a sob. “She pretty much told me to fuck off!”
“What?” Nadine exclaimed. “Your sister is trippin’. As soon as I get done eating she and I are going to have a long talk.”
“It won’t do any good. She even had Everton lock me out the room.”
Kayla shook her head. “I am too through with that girl.”
“Wait a minute,” Nadine began. “She said Everton checked you out of the room? I thought Everton was off today.”
Lisa glanced at them at the same time.
Kayla shrugged. “Maybe she said that because she was mad.”
Nadine shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She rose. “I’m going to the front desk to check.”
Chapter 78
RENEE
“Everton, please put the knife down.”
“No. What point is living if I can’t have you?”
This mothafucka is crazy and unfortunately he doesn’t care if he takes me with him in the process. To say I was scared was an understatement. I was beside myself. He was pacing around the room and waving a knife like he was ready to take both of us at any time. That’s why I lied to Lisa, so that she would get as far away as possible. If he had to hurt anyone I definitely didn’t want it to be my sister.
“Please, Everton. This is not the way.”
“Then what is it going to take for us to be together? I love you. Can’t you see that?”
I tried to smile like I was flattered by his comment.
“I want you to be my wife.”
“But I’m already married.”
“What?”
Oops. What the hell I say that for? His body jerked. His chest rose and fell. The look on his face turned from hate to anger.
“I mean I have already been married once.”
He blew air. “Now you’re lying. So you’re married and messing around on your husband.”
“It’s more complicated than that.” I tried pleading with my eyes.
“So I was never any more to you than just a fuck.”
I didn’t bother to answer.
“You whore.” He slammed his hand across the dresser and knocked the contents onto the floor.
I began to shake. For the first time I noticed how big Everton was. His eyes were glazed over and he looked like he was ready to kill me. Never before had a man made me fear for my life.
“You sucked Solomon’s dick, didn’t you?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“You lying bitch. He told me so himself.”
Something in the way he looked told me he was about to go off. I tried to dash past him except he was too quick. He grabbed me by my shirt and flung me across the room onto the bed. Before I could get up, he sprang across the floor and landed on my chest, temporarily knocking the wind out of me. While I tried to get the air back into my lungs he called me every degrading name in the book. Finally, I found the strength to scream.
“Everton, please!”
“Shut up!” He hit me in the jaw with his fist. I kept begging but it did no good. He kept hitting me and I tried to block as many blows as I could until I couldn’t fight him any longer.
“I loved you so much. How could you have treated me this way?” I heard him crying like a damn baby. “Now you have to die.”
I felt something sharp against my neck. I screamed and prepared myself to meet my maker. As I started to drift off, I heard a loud noise and a bunch of voices. Is that the girls? Had they come back to check on me? Before I had a chance to find out if I was dreaming, I started slipping away. Then everything went black.
Chapter 79
RENEE
“Renee, Renee, wake up.” I felt someone patting my cheeks.
“Get your ass up.”
I opened my eyes and everything came to focus. “Lisa,” I said in a breathless whisper.
“I’m here, girl. We’re all here.” She was sitting on the side of the bed, squeezing my hand.
I moved my head to the left to find Kayla and Nadine standing over me. Kayla was crying, of course.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Girl, Everton beat the crap out of you,” Lisa replied. “Thank goodness we had his boss follow us up to the room with a key.”
“Where is he now?”
“The police took him away. They want to talk to you and take you over to the hospital to be looked at.”
I shook my head, regardless of how bad I felt. “No foreign hospitals. I can see a doctor when we get home tomorrow.”
Nadine touched my arm. “You look like shit.”
I tried to laugh. “I feel like shit.”
“Bitch, I thought you could fight.”
I tried to laugh but that shit made my head hurt.
Kayla started crying again and I turned my pounding head to look at her. “Girl, shut the hell up! I’m fine.”
She wiped her nose as she spoke, “I was so scared when I saw you lying there. All I could think about was the way we ended things between us.”
“Me too.” Shit, she made me start crying. “I was so afrai
d I wouldn’t get a chance to tell you how sorry I am. A man should never come between our friendship.”
“I know you didn’t mean it.”
I turned to my sister. “Lisa, I’m so sorry, really I am.”
She was also crying. “It’s okay.”
Nadine tried to cheer us all up. “We are girls, remember? Through thick and thin.”
“Through thick and thin,” we repeated, then engaged in a group hug.
Chapter 80
RENEE
As soon as the Jamaican police got done questioning me and realized there was no way in hell I was going to the hospital, they finally left.
I went and found my sister, who was in the room with the other two, waiting. “Can we go somewhere alone and talk?”
Lisa nodded. I laced my fingers with hers. As we moved across the beach people were pointing and staring. I know I looked jacked up, but I didn’t give a damn. All that mattered right now was Lisa.
At the end of the beach, far away from everyone, I took a seat on the wet sand. I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them close to my body, needing the strength to get through this.
There was a long moment of silence. Neither of us knew where to begin while knowing this conversation would start a new beginning for us.
“I’m sorry,” we both said at the same time.
Lisa started laughing. “Me first.”
I nodded.
She rested her weight on her elbows. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
I shook my head. There was no way I was going to allow her to take the blame. “You don’t have to apologize. I know I haven’t made it easy for you at all. I know I can be a pretty selfish bitch.
“It has always had to be about me. One thing I can say, as a sister you’ve always been there for me. I wish I could say the same.” I got choked up and she tried to speak. “Please, let me finish. I know I’ve got a lot of problems, probably more than you know, but I plan to put my problems aside. I promise to be there for you.” Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I didn’t care if she saw how emotional I was.
Lisa reached out and laced our fingers together. “I know I drive you crazy, but that’s because I love you and hate seeing you going around in circles.”
I smiled through my sadness. “I have been fucking up a lot lately.”
In The Company of My Sistahs Page 32
