by Abby Niles
With Amber, she felt confident. She knew she could easily defeat the other woman.
“Ready?” Amber asked.
Ella nodded.
Amber lifted a mitt, and Ella immediately jabbed. After a few warm-ups, the other woman increased the speed of her calls. Ella met each one without hesitation then ducked under a swipe to her head. As the other woman became more aggressive, she met the hits of Ella’s gloves with hard slaps back and closed the distance between them.
At being put on the defensive and forced to back up, enthralling energy filled Ella. A stinging smack landed hard on her shoulder. Even though the hit was much harder than Lance’s ever were, nothing in her reacted negatively. She simply returned a hard uppercut that knocked Amber back a step so she could catch the punch with the mitt. Ella didn’t stop in her aggressive pursuit and kept punching until she had the other woman against the ropes.
“That’s enough,” Lance yelled.
She immediately dropped guard and relaxed.
Amber tugged off the mitts, held her hand up in the air and said, “That was freaking awesome!”
Ella returned the high-five. That had been awesome. Most of the focus pad drills she’d done had been with smaller guys who always kept it about her working on her punches, not her defense strategy. Amber had given her one hell of a defensive workout. She’d just proven something to herself, too. She could take a hit and respond to it without freezing. It just had to be from someone she considered an equal. At least that was a move in the right direction.
“You were pretty awesome yourself,” she said.
“Anytime you need a focus partner, count me in.”
“You’ve got it.” She turned to Lance. The admiration shining back from him caused her heart to stutter, and it took everything in her not to exit the ring and throw her arms around him. She settled for mouthing, “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” He slid under the third rope then strode toward her, holding out his hand. Amber passed the mitts to him, and he slipped them on. “We now know you can take a hit. Let’s see what happens when you go up against me.”
And just like that, the hesitation crept in, the muscles in her shoulders tensed. One second she was thrilled with her performance, the next she was right back to square one. The most frustrating part was, she was no more scared of Lance than she was of Amber. Hell, Amber’s hit had stung way worse than any of Lance’s taps. The only thing different was his build.
After Amber climbed out of the ring, Ella circled Lance. His bulging bicep muscles flexed as he brought the mitt up, causing the dark lines on his one arm to move.
Don’t let Randy fuck with your mind anymore.
Lance came at her in a burst of energy, his arms slapping down to meet the punches she frantically threw. She had no game plan, just swung. A light pop bopped her on the side of the head and paralyzed her. He instantly backed off. The second there was space between them, her ability to breathe returned, and she ripped off the gloves, throwing them down. “Damn it.”
Without a word, she climbed between the second and third rope, hopped to the floor, and slumped on a nearby bench, hanging her head. Why couldn’t she get past this mind block?
“Hey,” Lance said, in a soothing tone that only annoyed her. But as he sat down, his thigh pressed against hers, she found the gesture oddly comforting. She wanted to lean into him, take his support, but she forced herself to stay where she was.
“I just need a few minutes alone.”
Silence followed her comment, but he didn’t move. He laced his fingers together and let them hang between his knees. “I’ve been fighting in some form or other since I was thirteen years old. The last thing I’m afraid of is being hit.”
She leveled an are-you-kidding-me look at him. “That’s supposed to help me how?”
“Give me a minute.” He waved his hand. “A few months ago, I had a huge fight slotted. Any spare moment I had, I was training my fucking ass off.” He inhaled deep. “The pressure of it got the best of me, and I just froze. Biggest night of my fighting career, over by knockout in less than a minute.” He turned a sympathetic smile on her. “Sometimes our mind just gets the best of us. I don’t know what’s cluttering yours, but you’re not alone. It happens to everyone.”
His confession, that he would open up to her like that, meant more to her than he would ever know. It made her feel less alone…and she hadn’t felt like that in a long time.
“Thank you,” she whispered and leaned toward him. A simple kiss on his cheek to show her appreciation was her intent. But the moment her lips touched the stubbled skin, a floodgate of need crashed open. Instantly, her nipples puckered and the lower part of her body tingled in a very thrilling way. She wanted nothing more than for him to turn his head so she could feel the softness of his lips next. Stunned, she pulled back.
Their gazes locked, and the air seemed to still between them. His gray eyes held her captive. She couldn’t look away. She couldn’t break this magnetic hold Lance had had on her since that moment in the alley. And damn it—she didn’t want to. It’d been a long time—too long—since she’d been attracted to a man like him. Maybe she never had been. Lance was different.
The overwhelming thoughts caused her to pull back and look away.
Clearing his throat, Lance shot to his feet, scratching the back of his head.
“What do you say we step away from the focus pads for the rest of the day? How about getting it on with the bag for a while?”
Getting it on. Yeah, she would definitely like to do that, but not with a bag—with this amazing man in front of her. She shook herself. It seemed fighting the demons of the past wasn’t the only battle she had now. The lure of the present was becoming extremely tempting, when her focus should squarely be on the future and getting back home.
…
Lance tilted his face up into the spray of water. A cold shower helped ease the soreness from his muscles after a training session. But this shower had nothing to with training and everything to do with Kelsey.
The woman was too fucking enticing. The icy water running down his body hadn’t cooled the lingering heat her lips had left behind on his cheek. The shower hadn’t cooled his thoughts, either. He still wanted to know what it would be like to have her body pressed into his, lips against his, arms wrapped around him. If she hadn’t pulled back, he might have gone for it. But she had.
He shut off the water, snatched a towel off the hook, and dried off. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he stepped into the locker room to find Mac wrestling with the paper dispenser over the sinks.
“Hey,” Lance muttered.
“This thing’s a piece of shit.” He slammed his fist against the front, trying to get it to snap closed, but it fell open again. “What the fuck!”
Lance walked over and gently closed it, jiggled it a little, heard the clasp take, then let it go. It stayed closed.
“Thanks,” Mac said sheepishly. “I don’t usually deal with this crap, but Marcus called in sick. The fucking paper was out, and somebody had to fill it.”
“I should’ve watched you wrestle with it a little longer. You losing your temper doesn’t happen as often anymore.”
“What can I say? Being with Gayle agrees with me.”
That it did. Mac had changed from being a snappy asshole to a sappy teddy bear after meeting the lively storm chaser. “How is she?”
“Busy. I can’t believe I am actually saying this, but I’m looking forward to chasing season just so she’s home more. This damn job takes up all her time, but she loves it.” Mac changed the subject. “How’s things with Kelsey? I’ve been watching your training sessions with her. You’re spending a majority of the time on focus pad drills. Not changing it up.”
Lance frowned, irked by the comments. “You got a problem with that?”
Mac had never questioned his training methods before. He saw no reason for him to start now.
“No. Was just curious as to why.�
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He’d actually asked himself the same question, since Kelsey struggled so much with it, but there was something not right about the way she reacted. A part of him was determined to help her get past it. The other part was simply intrigued. The freezing went against everything he’d learned about the woman in the short time they’d known each other. Fuck, she’d taken Ralph down in an impressive rear-naked choke hold. A couple of taps from him shouldn’t be affecting her so negatively.
“Something’s holding her back. I’m just trying to help her work past it.” Lance popped open his locker and dug out a change of clothes. “You’ve seen her. She’s capable of anything she puts her mind to.”
“That session with Amber was extraordinary.”
Yes, it was. She’d been breathtaking up in that ring.
“She’s got skills,” Lance muttered.
As Lance tugged on his clothes, Mac studied him.
“I’ve noticed some chemistry there.”
Lance paused in buttoning his jeans and closed his eyes. He hoped the whole goddamn gym hadn’t noticed that. When he reopened them, a huge smile had broken across his friend’s face. Seeing the man smile was still taking some getting used to.
“Yeah. Maybe.” Lance finally answered. No reason to deny it. At least not with Mac.
“That’s awesome, man. I’d like to see you find someone.”
Lance yanked on his shirt with more force than was necessary. “I don’t have time to date. Remember, I have a loan I’m paying off. That takes a lot of my free time.” With agreeing to fight for the McNealys, he’d also be spending more time in the underbelly of Kansas. He didn’t want Kelsey around that. Besides, he couldn’t tell her what he was doing, and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to lie to her about where he was. So it was best that he leave it alone, and they stay training partners.
“Make time. You work too fucking much.”
Lance spun on his friend. “Goddamn it. Just let it go, would you?”
His friend frowned. “What’s up your ass?”
“You are.” He regretted the words as soon as they shot out of his mouth. Mac had been through hell and back, and he was finally happy and at peace with his past. He obviously wanted the same thing for Lance. “Look, man, I’m sorry. I’m stressed out and have a short fuse these days.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you haven’t been on the receiving end of my shit. Anything you want to talk about?”
“Nah.”
“You know the offer—”
“Don’t.” He couldn’t stand having Mac offer him money, which he knew was coming next. “My bed. I’ll lie in it, okay?”
A long pause followed and then a heavy sigh. “All right. At least start making time for yourself. You can’t keep going like this.”
“I’ve been doing it this long.”
Shaking his head, Mac walked toward the door, then stopped and twisted around. “Let me share a piece of invaluable advice I once got from a close friend. You need to live a little bit, and she seems like she would be good for you.”
Lance was left alone with Mac’s parting words. He’d been the one who’d given Mac that piece of advice just months ago when he’d been fighting his attraction to Gayle. Maybe he did need some fun. He enjoyed every minute he trained with Kelsey—looked forward to it.
For the past three years his life had revolved around work, fighting, paying back the loan, and his daughter. While he loved every single second he spent with his little girl, he hadn’t relaxed in a long time. Maybe Mac was right. Maybe it was time to live a little. Kelsey was the only woman who interested him. They could go out. It didn’t have to be a date. Just hang out.
His cell beeped. Grabbing it up, he pressed the text button.
Tonight.
So this was how it would work. He’d get a text and he’d have to show up. Sighing, he dropped the phone on his gym bag and raked his fingers over his face. Right there was the reality check he needed after Mac’s pep talk.
What if he’d asked Kelsey to go out tonight? He’d have to cancel, have to lie about why.
Damn it. He yanked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He fucking hated being at the McNealys’ beck and call, but he had to focus on the end result. Tonight, win or lose, he would be five thousand dollars less in the hole. Five thousand dollars closer to refocusing his business, to more free time.
That was all that mattered.
…
It was too dark. Too many shadows, too many places to hide. Ella slowly spun around the dark room. He could be anywhere. A creaking noise came from behind her. Heart in her throat, she whirled around. More endless darkness. Strong fingers wove into her hair and yanked back hard. She cried out at the sharp pain, seconds before her face slammed into the wall. White stars swam before her eyes. Unable to stand, she slid down the wall to her knees. She touched her face. Sticky wetness coated her fingertips. Her mind was numb. She couldn’t make sense of what was happening, couldn’t process thought. A kick to her stomach sent her all the way to the floor, onto her side. She cowered against the wall, arm shielding her face from the relentless punches that followed.
“Stop,” she begged, barely above a whisper. “Please stop.”
The dark mass lowered until his face was right before her. The stench of beer invaded her nose as the madness in his eyes terrified her even more.
“If you tell anyone, I’ll fucking kill you.”
Ella jackknifed up on the couch, taking in ragged, anxious breaths as her gaze ricocheted around the living room. The nightmare slowly faded and her surroundings registered. She wasn’t in Maine. She wasn’t in a dark room. She was in Kansas, over a thousand miles away. She flopped back against the cushions and covered her sweaty forehead with her arm.
Damn it. Until two weeks ago, it’d been a long time since she’d woken up covered in sweat from a nightmare. Now they seemed to be a regular occurrence. All it had taken was being informed Randy was about to be released back into the wild like the animal he was.
She lay there for a few minutes, trying to slow her racing heart. The quiet of the house was unnerving, suffocating. She needed to talk to someone, needed to feel connected and not so alone. She reached for her cell phone on the coffee table then dialed her best friend.
The phone rang one time before Brooke answered. “Ella?”
She closed her eyes at the familiar voice. Longing to be back home, to be living her life, almost overwhelmed her.
“It’s me.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just missing you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“So…” She hedged, knowing that today was the day, but uncertain if something may have happened that had stalled it.
A long silence passed before Brooke sighed and said, “He was released today.”
A cold lump formed in Ella’s stomach, causing her belly to churn and unpleasant tingles to erupt over her body. Her vision tunneled and she closed her eyes, taking small breaths to calm the panic. When she had herself level again, she said, “Seems unfair, doesn’t it?”
“What does, hon?”
“He’s walking free and I’m—” Her voice cracked, and she clamped her teeth together. She waited a moment to make sure she had her composure back then added, “Hiding. How did I resort to this, Brooke?”
“Oh, Ella. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s going on in your head, and I respect you too much to even try.”
“The moment I learned he was getting released, all the terror I thought I’d gotten past came rushing back. I don’t feel safe anymore. I’m scared shitless that he’s going to hunt me down now that he’s out, and finish what he started. He told me he would. Told me if I ratted on him, he’d make me pay. That’s all I can focus on—the possibility he could hurt me again. And it makes me so angry, Brooke.” Hot tears burned the back of her eyes as she fisted her hands and forced out, “And so goddamn scared.”
A sob rushed out of her mouth, and s
he pressed her hand to her lips, trying to keep more from escaping and failing.
“God, Ella, I wish I could hug you right now,” her friend whispered.
“I-I just want my l-life back. I miss the hospital. I miss you, my home, m-my ladies.” She scrubbed her face with her palm and took a deep breath. “What kind of example am I setting for the center?”
She’d been volunteering at Healing Hands Women’s shelter for a couple of years. The women who walked through those doors were trying to find a safe haven to escape their abuser. They were at the beginning of their journey. Ella had been far into hers, had picked up the pieces of her life, and had been living proof that a person could start over. And what had she done the moment she was faced with the fact that her abuser was back on the streets? She’d run.
“There isn’t a woman there who doesn’t understand,” Brooke said.
This was true, but it didn’t relieve the disappointment she felt in herself.
“I feel like I’ve let them down by letting my fear take over. I have to get past this, find my way back home, so I can face them.” She paused for a moment. “Have you…”
She couldn’t finish the question, but thankfully Brooke knew what she was talking about.
“I was there yesterday. I really didn’t have to say much about where you were. They’re all aware that Randy was being released. They wanted me to tell you to stay strong.”
Stay strong. Tears threatened her eyes again. The motto they used to encourage each other in moments of weakness. Their words only made her more determined to gain control of her fear of Randy and return home. With Lance’s help, she’d get there.
They talked for a few more minutes before Brooke had to get off the phone to pick her kids up from school. As soon as she laid her cell down, the silence in the house started to close around her again. She stared at the pink pigs on her phone case as she debated calling her mom next.
