by Abby Niles
“Lance isn’t talking to me.”
“Yeah, I noticed. In fact, I haven’t seen him at the gym all week.”
That made her feel slightly better. Since Amber was training for her first amateur fight, she spent a lot more time at Coolier than Ella. She’d worried that Lance had been sneaking in after she left. Not that he’d have to sneak—he was free to come and go as he pleased—but still, she couldn’t read his current behavior as anything other than avoidance.
“You two have a fight or something?”
“Or something,” Ella muttered, but not low enough, since Amber stopped walking and stared at her.
“Oh. My. God. I knew there was something going on between the two of you. Sparks fly when you guys train.”
“There’s nothing going on between us.”
“Spill it and don’t leave out anything juicy. I’m going to live vicariously through your boy-drama, because I sure as hell don’t have any of my own.”
“Boy-drama is overrated.”
“Says the woman who has some. Seriously, now—give me the deets.”
Ella filled her in on everything that had happened the other night, leaving out the McNealys’ and Lance’s impromptu fight, keeping it focused on the fun they’d had with his daughter, the kiss on the couch, then his rejection.
Amber scrunched her nose. “Keep things the way they are? Well, that just sucks.”
“I haven’t heard from him since.”
The crappiest thing about it was, she missed the jerk. Missed training with him, talking to him, just spending time with him. Had she known this would be the outcome of her bold suggestion, she would’ve just kept her mouth shut, because now Lance didn’t even want to be friends.
The other woman’s gaze travelled over Ella’s shoulder, and an impish expression crossed her face. “Well, you’re about to.” She waved her arm over her head. “Hey, Lance.”
Oh. God. Her heart slammed against her breast. Amber was messing with her. She had to be. Slowly, she twisted to glance behind her.
About twenty feet away, Lance was standing beside Mac, who was throwing a baseball at three stacked pins. Ella whipped her head back around. “Amber,” she hissed.
“What?” she said, without a hint of remorse in her voice. “You want to know what’s going on—now you can find out.” She scowled in annoyance. “Damn it, he didn’t hear me. Lance,” she yelled, louder this time.
“Would you stop—”
“Good. He’s waving.” She frowned. “Though hesitantly.”
God, she wanted to disappear.
“They’re heading over.” Amber’s frowned deepened. “Damn, Kelsey, I think he’s with someone. I’m so sorry.”
And that just made the moment all the more fantastic. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself then turned with a bright, forced smile.
The first thing she saw was Mac walking beside a guy she’d never seen before. The ease between the two said they’d known each other for a while. Lance was lagging behind, and sure enough, there was a stunning, auburn-haired woman all but bouncing beside him—all smiles, energy, and chatter.
The complete opposite of Ella. If that didn’t say a lot…
“Hey guys,” Mac said as he stopped in front of them. “Enjoying yourselves?”
“Yeah, getting ready to ride some rides. Aren’t we, Kelsey?”
She didn’t want to be a part of this conversation. All she was aware of was the woman Lance was with, and how damn riveted he seemed to be by what she was saying. He hadn’t glanced at Ella once. If anything, he seemed to be pointedly ignoring her. Guess she couldn’t blame him. This was a seriously awkward moment.
“Yeah.” Mac nodded. “We’re about to hit the Ferris wheel ourselves. You guys want to join us?”
The idea of being trapped on a Ferris wheel with Amber while Lance was sharing a bucket with that woman didn’t hold one ounce of appeal.
“Sure,” Amber said, with way more excitement than was warranted.
A sharp poke stabbed Ella in the small of the back. Annoyed, she shot a glare at her friend, which didn’t seem to faze Amber at all. She simply tilted her head to the guy standing beside Mac with a classic “what are you waiting for” expression.
Flirt with a strange man? Should she? Hell, could she? She flicked a glance back at Lance, who was still ignoring her, completely engrossed with that other woman. His behavior hurt like hell, but it was sending a clear message. At least Amber’s method would save her a little face.
“And who’s your friend?” Ella forced herself to ask. It wasn’t that the guy was unattractive. With a red baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes, a stocky build, and relaxed posture, he was actually quite attractive. He just wasn’t Lance.
“Ah. Sorry,” Mac said. “This is Rick.”
“It’s really nice to meet you.”
Amber huffed behind her then inserted herself between Ella and Rick. “Why don’t you and Kelsey ride together on the Ferris wheel?”
The comment instantly brought Lance’s head snapping up. Flutters attacked her stomach at his reaction, not to mention the fierce scowl now on his face.
“Umm,” the guy hedged, clearly uncomfortable with Amber’s matchmaking. “Yeah. Sure.”
Lance stepped forward, but the woman grabbed him by the arm, still chattering a mile a minute, and he returned his attention to her, albeit reluctantly. So, he didn’t like the idea of Ella being with another man, but not enough to dismiss the woman he was with. Ella turned her full attention onto Rick.
“Shall we then?” he asked, as he gestured for her to walk ahead of him. Nodding, she turned and started toward the ride a few feet away.
“So…what do you do, Rick?” she asked when he fell into step beside her.
“I’m Gayle’s chasing partner, and in the off season I paint.”
“Gayle?”
He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Blabbermouth back there with Lance. She hasn’t stopped talking since we got here.”
Now that she knew her name, Ella had to force herself not to turn around and assess the woman again. Even from a distance the woman radiated life. As much as she hated admitting it, she could understand the appeal. Who wouldn’t rather be with someone fun over someone who constantly barricaded herself behind walls?
“What do you mean by chasing partner?”
“Storm chasing.”
“Wow.” She didn’t have to feign being impressed. “I’ve watched some documentaries. The weather you go through is no joke.”
Color crept into his face as they stopped to stand in line. “It’s no big deal.”
“Modest. I like that.”
A hard body pressed into her back, and she glanced behind her. Lance was pretty much standing on top of her, that glower firmly directed at her. A little thrill shot through her, but it diminished as she registered the faded bruises lingering on his face—a reminder that the last time she’d seen him he’d just had three hellish fights.
“I enjoy it. It helps with my paintings,” Rick said, snagging her attention again.
“What kind of paintings?”
“Weather scenes.”
“That’s really cool.” Even she could hear the awe in her voice.
As a hand snaked around her waist to rest on her and squeeze hard, she jumped, then her gaze shot back to Lance—still glowering, but he was also all puffed up like something was seriously pissing him off.
She shook off his grip. A carny unlocked the gate, opening the way to the passenger car. Once again, Rick gestured for her to go ahead of him. She stepped onto the platform then slid onto the bench. As Rick was getting ready to climb in after her, Lance laid a beefy hand on his shoulder and shook his head slowly. The man simply stepped aside, and Lance took his place, a satisfied grin curving his mouth.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded as the carnival worker closed the front and locked it.
“You didn’t think I was actually going to let y
ou get on this ride with another man, did you?” He rested his arm along the back of the bucket.
She scooted as far away from him as the bucket would allow. “You’ve made it damn clear that you don’t want me, so you need to get over yourself. If I want to chat up some other guy, I can.”
“Wrong,” he said, sliding up beside her. “I’ve made it pretty fucking obvious that I want you. I just didn’t think it was a great idea. Seeing you chat up another guy, helped change my mind.”
His woodsy cologne was wrecking havoc on her senses, making it hard to think. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the smell of him until this very second. “So you’re just going to dump your date?”
“Date?” A shocked laugh came from him. “You mean Gayle? She’s Mac’s girlfriend. She’s also my neighbor, but I haven’t seen her in a while, since she took a new job. She had a lot to fill me in on.”
He wasn’t here with another woman. “Then why were you going out of your way to ignore me? No. Forget that.” She twisted her body toward his, and all the hurt, confusion, and embarrassment she’d kept bottled up for almost a week spewed out. “Where the hell have you been the last five days?”
“Avoiding you,” he answered, his gaze not wavering from hers.
She’d known that, but damn, hearing it hurt. “Ouch.”
He pressed his thigh into hers and ran his finger over a lock of her hair. “It’s not because I don’t want to see you. Trust me. I had my reasons, but I have to admit when I’m fighting a losing battle, and I’m losing this one.”
Some of her anger abated. She could understand that in a weird way. She’d had her own reasons for wanting to stay away from Lance, but none of those reasons had been stronger than her attraction to him.
He kept his gaze locked on the strand of hair he was fiddling with. “Why did you move here?” he finally asked.
She pulled back. “Where did that come from?”
A slight shrug lifted his shoulder. “I just realized I don’t know anything about you, other than you have kickass knowledge of MMA and you are one fine kisser.” He dropped the lock of hair and met her gaze. “So, why did you move here?”
She struggled to find words, an explanation. All she had was the truth. She didn’t want to lie to Lance—not blatantly at least. She wanted this man. He apparently wanted her, too.
Instinctively, she pressed her hand to her side. If he eventually saw her scar, he’d ask more questions. There was no way she could add lie after lie with him looking her in the eyes. She just wasn’t built that way. Sighing, she said, “All right.”
Surprise flickered across his face. She was shocked she was telling him, too, but if things headed in the direction she wanted, he needed to know everything. “The answers have always been there, Lance. You’ve pinpointed each and every one. You just haven’t put them together.”
“You’re talking in riddles, Kelsey.”
“Ella.” She sent him a strained smile. “My name is Ella.”
Tensed, she remained silent as she let him absorb that information. The confusion contorting his face twisted her heart. When he pulled away from her, putting distance between them, cool air replacing his warmth, she felt utterly alone. Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned her attention to the skyline as they crested the top of wheel. Tears threatened the back of her eyes.
Never show weakness. Never allow intimidation. Always exude confidence.
Desperate to get her emotions in check, she repeated her mantra. The burning only intensified as the view before her blurred. Damn it. She wouldn’t cry.
“Why the hell are you going by a fake name?”
The anger shaking his voice made her flinch. A tear escaped and slid down her check. She quickly dashed it away, refusing to let Lance see the weakness. “Because I’m hiding.”
“From who?”
“M-my ex-boyfriend,” she managed in a shaky whisper.
A long, uncomfortable silence greeted her words. She shot a side-glance at him and witnessed the precise second everything clicked in his head—witnessed the horrified dismay replacing the anger. Humiliation washed over her. She cursed the feeling. Someone she’d trusted had betrayed her in the worst possible way. She had nothing to be ashamed of, and yet she was. She hated voicing the terror she still carried years later, a fear so strong she had run from her life, changed her name. She hated admitting how one night had changed her.
“The obsessive training,” he muttered. “The weight difference. The fucking panic I’ve seen.”
The sting returned to her eyes, and she squeezed them closed. The fact that Lance had picked obsessive and panic to describe her behavior only made her feel more ashamed.
He slammed his palm on the back of bench. “What the fuck did he do?”
The display of fury had fresh tears pooling in her eyes, and she shot her gaze to him. There was no holding the tears back now. They ran freely, and she smothered a sob. He was so angry—for her.
“Jesus. I shouldn’t have—” He cupped her face and thumbed away the tears on one of her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
She leaned into his touch, holding his gaze, needing him to understand that her reaction had nothing to do with his show of anger. “I’m not afraid of you, Lance.”
That was a huge admission, coming from her. But she wasn’t. Somehow this large man had mended the trust that another large man had shattered. She wasn’t completely sure how. Maybe it’d been the patience he had with her as they trained, or the love he had for his daughter, or his vow to protect her, but she trusted that Lance would never physically harm her. Emotionally was a different story.
“Tell me,” he urged.
“It was a long time ago,” she whispered, pulling away from him then studying her clasped hands in her lap. As much as his touch comforted her, she needed to find the strength to share her story on her own.
“How long?”
Unsure if she could go through with this conversation, she took a few calming breaths. Shame still burned deep in her gut. She didn’t want to look at him while she spoke of the past. She wanted to get off this ride and run. The instinct to hide angered her. She’d done enough of that. The fear Randy had instilled in her had taken enough of her life. She lifted her gaze and met his. “Four years,” she said, feeling her emotional strength returning.
“Have you been hiding the entire time?”
“No.”
“Why now?”
She had a hard time grasping her reasoning sometimes. Irrational behavior was just that—irrational.
“He was sentenced to five years in prison. I tried to move on—thought I had—then he was approved for early release. I was supposed to have a couple more years with him behind bars. It’s amazing how quickly the feeling of being safe can change. For me, all it took was one phone call from my lawyer. All I heard was Randy vowing to finish me off. After that, terror drove me. It’s as simple as that.” She shrugged. “I quit my job, packed a suitcase, got a fake ID, and left.”
“Jesus. How long were you together?” he asked softly.
“Two years. I was never, not once, scared of him. Until the night he turned on me.”
“Was he on drugs?”
She wished that had been the case. Some foreign substances changing a person’s behavior, making them erratic and dangerous—that she could grasp a little easier.
“No. He had a temper. Got in a few fights with guys. When we’d get into a screaming match, he’d hit the wall or throw something sometimes, but it was never physically directed at me. Though, he did grab me a few times when things really got heated between us, but he would immediately release me and walk across the room. I thought he had control over his anger.”
“But he didn’t.”
“Not that night. He believed I was cheating on him with an intern at the hospital. I wasn’t, but nothing I said would convince him otherwise, and he just snapped. One minute we were in a heated argument, like we had been many times before, the next
he backhanded me into the wall…and didn’t stop.”
A muscle ticked in his cheek from the pressure of his clenched jaw. Raw rage exuded from him. She didn’t feel an ounce of trepidation at his reaction.
“Any man who lays a hand on a woman is dog shit. I fucking hate that you went through that.”
Again she was comforted by his reaction. She didn’t feel judged or pitied.
“The physical wounds healed,” she continued. “It’s the emotional ones I’m still dealing with. The reason I pushed you the other night was because that was the first time since that night I had relaxed that way with a man.” She swallowed, worried that maybe she’d revealed too much, was putting pressure on him again. But if she was going to allow him in, share her story, she saw no reason to gloss over uncomfortable truths. “It meant a lot to me.”
His entire body froze. “You haven’t been with a man since your ex?”
“No.”
He worked his head back and forth as he cracked his knuckles. His agitation worried her even more.
“Did he—”
Seeing where his mind had gone, she was quick to relieve him of that thought. “No,” she said the word forcefully. “No. But you know how I was when you met me. I keep walls around me. Have a hard time letting them down.” She studied the man beside her. “For some reason, I am able to with you.”
As he stared at her, agitation started to get the best of her. Tilting her chin, she held his gaze, refusing to shut him out, though she wanted nothing more than to hide behind those walls again. She’d just left herself completely exposed to this man. Had truly let someone new in. She would not regret it. She would embrace this moment, allow herself to be vulnerable without fighting or running away.
“What’s the goal here, Kel—” He shook his head. “I mean, Ella?”
“Kelsey. Until I’m no longer running, until I return home, Kelsey is who I will stay.”
A sad smile she didn’t understand came to his lips. “Is going home what you want?”
“More than anything, because when I do, I’ll have reclaimed my life. Randy will no longer have any control over me.”
A long silence followed her declaration, then he reached for that lock of hair, running it between his fingers. “Then we’re going to reclaim your life, Kelsey.”
