Fresh tears filled her eyes, and quietly, she answered, “I can’t spend the rest of my life being grateful to you for sacrificing yours.”
The answer stunned him. Because that answer…wasn’t about Molly not wanting to put up with the politics of his life. That answer was about something else altogether.
“Is that what you think I would be doing?” he asked carefully.
Tears were streaming down her face, each new path slicing through his heart.
“I know you, Sean. I’ve known you for almost half of my life and, long term, I won’t be able to give you what you need.”
“I need you.”
“Right now, you think you do, but if you take a step back, give yourself some perspective…you’ll see I am right.” Her eyes lowered to where she was wringing her hands in front of her. “I was there, Sean. Available, for years. But in all that time, you never looked at me and saw the kind of woman you wanted for your future. There was a reason for that.”
“Because I was an idiot,” he shot back.
“Because you were realistic. You were waiting for someone I could never be. Someone like Valerie.” She turned away. “Someone who understands the social intricacies of your world. Someone with the sophistication, education, and poise to be an asset to you.”
An asset? Social intricacies?
There was no way… She wouldn’t have. Only in that moment, he knew. She had.
“My mother came to see you.”
Molly walked across the office, stopping at the chair in front of Brody’s desk. “I’d already started to figure it out on my own. She just clarified a few of the finer points.”
Drawing on every reserve of calm he could muster, he took a deep breath and met her eyes. “Figured what out, Moll?”
“That I’ll never belong in your world.”
His jaw clenched, and it took everything he had to keep his voice level as he asked the only question that mattered. “Because you wouldn’t be happy there?”
She shook her head, rubbing her arms. “Because neither one of us would be. Sean, being with me would cost you in ways I couldn’t live with. It would impact the parts of your life that, up until now, you have never invited me into. It has already.”
“Molly, that’s nuts,” he coughed out, frustration building fast. “What are you even talking about?”
“Adelynn Wakefield and your business relationship with her husband.”
The Wakefield name alone was enough to have his fists clenching.
Molly blinked, looking away. “You don’t need to protect me, Sean.”
“The hell I don’t,” he challenged, wondering how she could not understand. “I love you.”
“I know you do. You have since I was fifteen. Which is why I know you would do anything, say anything to make things right for me. Like bribe student housing to look the other way about me living in your dorm. Fly back from Italy to come rescue me in Texas when that jerk dumped me on vacation there. Move into my apartment so I could unload a roommate who wasn’t paying his way. End a successful working relationship with a long-time business partner because his wife insulted me.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Or just refuse to see reason on this because now I’m pregnant, which adds a whole new level of obligation to the mix.”
She was so fucking wrong, it made him sick. Made him angry all over again.
“Molly, you aren’t seeing this clearly.”
Wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve, she shook her head. “I think I am.”
Chapter 22
Sean had wanted to give her a ride home himself, but Molly hadn’t thought she could handle any more emotional heartbreak, so she’d asked Max instead. It might have been a mistake.
“Whoa, go easy, Molly!” Max barked as she used her hip to bump open the Belfast door on their way out. “You’ve got a passenger in there now.”
Her eyes bugged as she stared at her brother in disbelief. “It was a door. I just opened it.”
“Yeah, but you bumped it with your hip. Not hard, I don’t think, but…is that okay?” he asked, scrubbing a hand over the top of his head as he gave her a nervous look that was equal parts adorable and terrifying.
She was probably looking at a solid eight more months of Max in extreme overprotective mode. “I’m sure it’s fine, Max.”
Only then she was thinking about it, and the truth was, she didn’t actually know that many people with babies—and the ones she did, she hadn’t been paying attention to how they handled doors.
She looked at her brother as a fresh wave of panic started to well within her. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” she whispered, and oh man, the tears were kicking in too.
Max’s normally steely eyes bugged wide, filling with a panic very similar to her own. He looked back into the bar, no doubt thinking about going for reinforcements. Sean and Brody were both still in there. But then he turned back to her and straightened into that big, strong superhero of a guy she’d been looking up to her entire life. The one who would never let her down.
“We’re going to the bookstore, and I’m going to get you that giant instruction manual on having babies everyone uses. Then you’ll know exactly what you need to do. And not do. Right?”
She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stood in the middle of the sidewalk in front of Belfast. Max wrapped her in a hug and patted her head in a way she knew he meant to be soothing but really just made her laugh and pull away. Wiping at her cheeks, she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “That sounds perfect, Max.”
The bookstore had an entire section dedicated to pregnancy, and one look at all those titles had Molly’s head spinning and her legs working an involuntary retreat—until she bumped into Max and he ushered her back toward the shelves.
“So the lady at the help desk said this is the one to start with. She gave me a list of books we can get in addition, so if you don’t like it, I can bring you back tomorrow.”
She held up the book and chuckled to herself. “You planning on becoming my full-time driver and personal assistant, Max?”
A touch of red tinted his cheeks, and he scowled down at the floor. “No, but I figure it’s the least I can do with the way I reacted. With what I said.”
Molly shook her head. “It wasn’t an easy way to find out. You were blindsided.”
“So were you. And even if you hadn’t been, what I said was shitty.” He sighed and then met her eyes. “I’m sorry, Moll. Really sorry.”
Deep emotional stuff wasn’t Molly’s thing. Especially with her brother. It made her uncomfortable and squirmy, like there was probably some “right thing” to say that everyone else would know without having to think about it. But for Molly, the only words she could manage were the ones that came straight from her heart. “Thank you, Max.”
He raised a brow. “Forgive me?”
Like there was any question. “I forgive you.”
But Max wasn’t the only one who needed to ask for forgiveness. She blew out a long breath, and a look of pure panic flashed across his face.
“Are you okay? Should I take you to the hospital?”
Cripes. “Max, I’m fine. I just… I need to apologize too. Sean wanted to tell you about us. From the first minute we realized there actually might be an us, he wanted you to know.” She laughed, thinking about that night at the campground. About the way it had felt when he had climbed into her sleeping bag and how much she’d wanted to believe everything he’d said.
She hadn’t been able to resist.
Max reached for the pregnancy book and started flipping through the pages. She had a feeling he wasn’t seeing a single word, just avoiding the awkward eye contact—then he winced, looking horrified as he shoved the book back at her. So maybe he’d seen a few words after all.
“Why didn’t you want me to know?” he
asked, nodding them toward the front of the store to check out.
They passed the aisles for self-help and diet and nutrition before she could answer him. “Part of it was I didn’t want you to hurt him.” She dared a glance at her brother, who was staring at the floor as they bypassed the magazines. His brow was furrowed, his jaw tensed. “I know how protective you can be about me, and even when I tell you you don’t need to be, you don’t always listen. I was worried you wouldn’t give him enough credit.”
There were six people in line and one girl checking them out. It felt like a conversation they ought to save for the privacy of Max’s car, but they’d already started it, and besides, she didn’t recognize anyone. So when Max asked her, “Why not?” she answered.
“Maybe because I was having a hard time giving it to him myself.”
“Molly.”
And then because she’d given him that much, she gave him the rest. “And I think maybe I was embarrassed to admit I thought we might have a chance. I mean, we all know what Sean wanted for his life…and I’m not exactly it.”
She could see her brother struggling for something to say. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, just like she wanted to hear it. But they both knew better, and in the end, he just pulled her in for a hug.
* * *
Six days later, Sean was wearing a hole through the hardwood in Max’s living room, while Sarah spent the evening at Molly’s place. Max pulled a couple of beers from the fridge and handed one to Sean.
“You ask her again?”
Sean nodded, taking a long draw. He’d been over to see Molly every day since finding out about the baby, trying to get through to her on—well, anything, but it wasn’t happening. Not yet.
“She said no to marrying me. No to living together. No to dating casually and just letting things happen—and after that one, she asked me if I thought she was an idiot.” At this point, he was pretty sure they were all in agreement that he was. “I asked her if she’d thought about slowing down with her workload.”
Looking up, Max asked, “How’d that go over?”
“About as well as when I brought up child support.”
Max grimaced, shaking his head. “Anything you didn’t ask her this time?”
He hadn’t asked if she thought about him. If she missed being in his arms the way he missed having them around her, because it had made her cry the last time, and her tears were more than he could handle.
“Why can’t she see that she’s all I want?” he demanded, looking at her brother because he was the closest thing to Molly Sean could get. “That this has nothing to do with circumstances or obligations or anything other than the fact that I love her. That I’m in love with her.”
Because there was a difference.
“Maybe because she knows you?”
Sean stopped where he was, wondering if Max was looking for a matching set of shiners. “That’s exactly what she said. Only it’s total bullshit, because if she knew me so very well, she’d know that leaving me to save me from my good intentions was breaking my heart and making us both miserable.”
That was the worst of it. Knowing they were both suffering.
Molly hadn’t left him because she didn’t want him—but because she didn’t believe he could really want her. It was killing him to think of her lying there in bed at night, feeling alone.
Worse, feeling like he found her lacking in any way.
“Look at it from her side a minute, will you?” Max suggested, moving into the living room and taking the seat next to the fireplace.
After all the pre-Sarah years of lawn chairs and milk crates, it was still fucking weird seeing Max’s place fully furnished.
“Her side how?” And maybe that was part of his problem. Sean still didn’t entirely get her side.
“She’s a maid who manages a bar part time.” Max shrugged. “You really gonna stand there and tell me that’s what you had in mind when you started looking for the future Mrs. Wyse?”
“How the hell can you keep selling her short like that?” Sean demanded, willfully ignoring what he didn’t want to face. “She’s a hard-working, self-taught entrepreneur balancing two businesses with an eye on breaking into a third. While working a fourth. She might not have a degree, but she’s one of the sharpest, most intelligent people I know, and if I could get her to take one, I’d give her any damn job in my hotel she wanted, because I know without a fucking doubt that she’d be able to learn it.”
Max squinted at him, scrubbing the back of his head. “She’s my sister. I know she’s smart. It’s the rest. The pedigreed shit you’ve been so focused on until”—he drew a slow breath—“until you started screwing my sister. For years, any time you began seeing one of these women your parents shoved in front of you, the first thing you’d give us was the criteria she met. The right name, the right school, and all the bullshit that went along with them. The polish and grace and sophistication. How the hell do you think Molly’s ever going to feel like she belongs in your world—like you think she belongs there—when she’s had your ‘ideal’ shoved down her throat at every turn since she was old enough to make the comparisons?”
Sean stopped his pacing and looked at Max, a sinking feeling in his gut. It had never been his ideal, but all Molly had ever seen was him going along with it. “How the fuck am I going to convince her?”
Max met his eyes. “You know how stubborn Molly can be.”
Sean gave Max a look. “Seriously, man?”
“I know you know. And I think I’ve got an idea. But you’re going to have to follow two rules.”
“Anything,” Sean said.
“Okay, rule number one: Back off. I know it’s going to be hard, but you gotta give Molly some space.”
Sean’s molars locked down. He didn’t like the sound of that one bit. But if Max thought he had a plan, Sean was willing to keep an open mind. “Give her a chance to get her head together. Do some clear thinking.”
“Exactly. Too much has been happening too fast. Our girl can handle a lot thrown at her at once, but even Molly has her limits.” Max walked over and clapped Sean on one shoulder. “And right now, you’re just another source of pressure. Let her breathe a little, and she’ll remember you’re her biggest source of comfort. More than Brody. Shit, even more than me.”
“Really?” The grin he couldn’t fight made Sean feel like a grade-A ass, but damned if that wasn’t what he’d needed to hear. Then he thought about what it was like when he didn’t get to see her, and the smile dropped from his mouth. “How long?”
“That’s going to depend on you. And following rule number two: Figure out what she wants most, and give it to her.”
Sean’s lungs deflated. “She wants me to let her go, Max. And not just for some time to breathe.”
Max crossed his arms and met Sean with a level stare. “If that’s what she really wants, then you’re going to have to do it. But I’ve seen Molly when you haven’t been around for a while. And I’m telling you, it’s not pretty.”
* * *
“Come on, Moll,” Brody chided, easily taking the drink-laden tray off her hands and carrying it through the bar himself. “We talked about this. You were going to call it a day by six. No exceptions.”
Molly followed him to the table and started handing out pints, while her boss stood flashing that teddy bear grin around as he waited for her to finish.
Then tucking her under his arm, he led her back to his office and sat her down. “What are you still doing here?”
Slumping back in the couch, she sighed and started picking at her thumbnail. “I’m going crazy at home. I’ve got work I can do, but every time I sit down, I can’t concentrate.”
Brody pulled a chair over. Resting his elbows on his widespread knees, he nodded his head to the side. “Give yourself a break. It’s a lot to adjust to in only a few weeks.”
She nodded. He was right, but it was more than that, and they both knew it.
Brody rolled his shoulder. “You seen him?”
“Not for a few days.” More like a week. After they found out about the baby, Sean had been dropping in to see her every day. Every day, asking her to marry him. Every day, breaking her heart a little more by making her say no.
But the last time, it had been different. She’d sensed it from the moment he stepped into her apartment. Seen it in the way he searched her eyes. Heard it in that last plea.
“Molly, I’m asking you to really think about this. We could have it all. Just give me a chance to show you.”
She wanted to. God knew she did.
But she couldn’t do it. Not to herself, not to her baby. Not to the man she loved.
She couldn’t spend the rest of her life feeling like the burden that never went away. The charitable sacrifice filed under “the right thing.”
She wouldn’t.
So she’d said no. And right there before her eyes, something had changed in him. He had stopped being her Sean and, within the span of a handful of breaths, had become the Sean she recognized from those few times his professional and personal lives overlapped.
He’d told her he would be in touch and kissed her cheek when he said goodbye.
That had been five days ago.
She knew what it meant. Sean was giving her what she’d asked for.
“He’s going to be there for you, Moll. You can’t doubt that,” Brody assured her, those compassionate green eyes holding hers.
She nodded. “I know.” They just needed to get through all this first. And once things were back the way they were supposed to be, they could be there for each other as friends. As family. Just not quite together.
Brody wasn’t satisfied until he’d fed her dinner, warned her against taking anything from the Baby Readiness Binder Jase had put together for Janice without checking for a more current study, and shared the latest article he’d come across regarding infant sleeping habits. She gave the big guy a hug and then headed out into the cool, dusky evening.
Just This Once Page 25
