by Jean Oram
Mandy flashed him a smile she knew he’d clock as fake and turned on her heel. After grabbing the jug of sugar off a nearby shelf, she headed out of the kitchen. She dumped herself into the chair in front of the sugar shakers and sighed. How had she become that obvious? But if she was…why did it still work? Did they feel sorry for her?
She brushed away her worries, knowing Leif had years of training and experience that allowed him to read people as easily as his ABCs. That was all. It wasn’t a big deal to flirt to get what you wanted. Businessmen had their boys’ clubs and women had their bodies.
So what was she going to do when her body went? When she was no longer young?
She wiped under her lashes for errant mascara and sighed. When Oz dumped her--the first time--she’d got this job and learned the ropes of running the place. Now she did the weekly deposits, the cash register receipts, and lately, even some of the food ordering. But what was left? Where was there for her to go from here? What was there in Blueberry Springs other than this?
She was one step away from morphing into one of those small town waitresses waiting for someone to come along and sweep her off her feet with a winning lottery ticket.
Unable to clear her mind, she set to work filling her row of sugar containers before recapping them all and starting on the next line.
Gloria plopped herself into the chair across from her and let out a gusty breath. “Woo. I’m all out of breath. Make sure you get the right white stuff in the right shaker there, Mandy.”
“Ha-ha.” One mistake seven years ago… Wasn’t the woman ever going to let her live it down?
Mandy pushed half the glass dispensers across the table. “Make yourself useful.”
Gloria laughed. “Is that you asking for help?”
“Gloria,” Mandy said, barely refraining from rolling her eyes, “it’s our job.”
“Admit it. You’re asking for help, Little Miss Mandy-Do-It-All-Herself.” Gloria’s voice and eyes danced and Mandy resisted the urge to shower the woman in sugar.
Gloria crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward. “Soooo?”
Mandy wished a customer would come in right now and demand she describe every item on the menu, because she knew exactly where this conversation was heading and that unless there was a lengthy distraction, she was not getting out of it. She capped shakers, keeping her focus off Gloria. “What’s Amber up to, Gloria?”
Gloria paused for one wonderful, blessed, quiet second. “Amber’s found a nice man, it seems.”
“You must be happy, then,” Mandy said, luring Gloria into talking more about the subject she loved most--her daughter and her love life.
“Yes. Quite happy. He’s a lovely man. A newscaster in the city, you know.”
Mandy raised her eyebrows and nodded, encouraging Gloria to continue. “Very cool. What’s he like?”
Gloria shrugged. “Haven’t met him.” She reached over and stilled Mandy’s hands, which were rapidly twisting lids back onto the last of the sugars. “But how about you? How are you holding up?”
“I’m great.” Mandy stood. If great meant having your high school sweetheart dump you after a zillion years, and right when everyone else was stepping up to the altar, leaving you unfashionably single in a town that valued hooking up above all else. Oh, and reminding and berating yourself constantly about how you’d pulled a fake pregnancy stunt because you were afraid to let him go. Everyone had seen through it. But the worst--aside from the humiliation--was that when she’d finally felt as though she was getting the hang of her life, he’d broken up with his fiancée, hinting that maybe the two of them had had it right all those years ago. She’d fallen for the kiss he’d given her in the square, her hopes skyrocketing. Like a fool, she’d slipped right back into believing it was real. Of course he’d sloughed her off like the big mistake she truly was so he could turn around and marry Beth--thanking Mandy for giving him perspective. More humiliation served up cold.
Her skin crawled at the thought of what the town must have been whispering behind her back.
And that, right there, was why she could never be with Frankie. He deserved so much more than a fool who could be suckered into anything, who wasn’t smart enough to cut her losses and instead kept going back for more.
Oz had been bad for her, and she was bad for Frankie. He’d nearly killed himself falling off the tower in high school--something that she still blamed herself for.
Frankie would always be better off with the shield of ‘just friends’ protecting him.
Mandy sighed and started on the salt shakers. After all these years, she still hadn’t learned her lesson and was right back where she’d started. Same job. Same uniform. Looking at the same faded décor, and living her single, pathetic life.
Just like her mother. Only in a restaurant instead of a convenience store. And without an addiction to soap operas.
No future. No dreams.
Nothing more than some feeble hope that a man would somehow create a life for her.
Could she get more pathetic? A man was not the answer.
She needed to do something daring. Something bold. Something passionate and thrilling. She needed to get a life that matched her wardrobe.
She needed to show the town she wasn’t crushed because Oz got married--although being home ‘sick’ following his nuptials surely didn’t help her cause.
There was no justice. Or rather, there was a very pointed and real divine justice with one mother of a backswing and she needed to find a way to hit back. Hard.
“You sure don’t look great,” Gloria stated bluntly. “A mother knows.” She tapped her forehead as though she was turning on her ESP or something.
Mandy laughed despite herself. “You’re not my mother.”
“Your mother’s a big chicken finger. She wouldn’t know you had a problem unless you came right out and told her and I’m guessing your pride is too big for those britches. That woman shut down the day your daddy moved across town to live with Rubber Tits and nobody’s been able to jumpstart her since.”
Mandy let out a guffaw, loving how the infuriating woman could break any mood she was in. Maybe that was why she’d kept coming back to this job even though, in a lot of ways, she’d topped out.
“What?” Gloria asked. “Just because she’s my cousin, you think I don’t know fake tits when I see ’em and would feel the need to keep ’em a secret?” Gloria shot her a disgusted look. “Look. You need to go all Taylor Swift and shake it off.”
“You know who Taylor Swift is?”
“She’s always on the radio, of course I do.” She shook her head, her voice growing tight. “Men don’t have half the courage we give ’em credit for. Remember that. You have to have enough for both of you if you want to have a hope in you-know-where. We need ‘em but we’ve got to live our lives, too.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“But you know…if you and Frankie are going to have something--”
Mandy shoved away from the table. “Why can’t people be happy with us being nothing more than friends!”
Gloria laughed and banged the table with a fist. “‘Cause the two of you are always wishing you were porking each other!”
Mandy gasped, heat tearing through her veins. She whirled around, unable to make her mouth form a comeback. As she slammed her way into the kitchen she realized she’d just confirmed to Gloria exactly what she had been trying to hide.
Mandy eased her way into the dining room with a stack of menus she’d de-goobered, pausing when she saw Gloria finishing up the salt shakers.
“You finished your little snit?” Gloria asked without looking up.
Mandy popped the menus back in the stack next to the pizza-by-the-slice display and stuck out her tongue.
“Good. Then come on over here and tell me how you’re coping with Oz getting married because I’ll bet you this restaurant you weren’t home sick this week. At least, nothing a heartsick girl can’t give herself.”
Mandy
glared at Gloria and worked on tilting the window shades so the streaming sun wouldn’t blind customers. “Ten minutes ’til open. Can you finish up the salt? I need to restock the serviettes since nobody seemed to notice how low they were while I was gone.”
Gloria slowly screwed the lid on a shaker, and Mandy could feel the woman’s eyes prying at the cracks in her façade as she moved from window to window.
“Better find a man to look after you, Mandy.”
“But you just said--”
“You don’t want to end up a waitress all your life.”
Mandy’s steps faltered as the truth struck her like a two-by-four to the back of the head.
Even Gloria could see it.
She was a woman without life options.
“An independent woman doesn’t need a man to be something or somebody,” Mandy muttered, knowing her words would be in vain.
“Well, you certainly are independent enough,” Gloria said, “but that doesn’t mean you’re automatically a somebody.”
Panic sucked at Mandy’s gut. There was nothing for her here, but there was nothing for her out there, either. She had nothing because she was nothing. The need to be bigger than Blueberry Springs ate at her, and she fought the surging need to run out the door and blast down the windy mountain roads in her big ol’ Ford. To run from everything and somehow stumble into a life where she could be something. Something more. Life was ticking by, the clock picking up its pace.
She busied her hands with restocking empty jam baskets while she worked to pull herself together.
“Don’t forget about the napkins,” Gloria chided.
Mandy ignored her. There was nothing to distract her like there had been the last time she felt like this after a breakup with Oz. There was nothing more for her to grow into at Benny’s unless she took over the business. She had nothing because this restaurant, mismatched décor and all, was Benny’s pride and joy as well as his connection to the community. He wasn’t going to give it up.
Not that she could afford to buy it anyway.
Mandy glanced at Gloria over her shoulder and caught the smug, knowing look of a woman who could see someone’s future laid out before her. Mandy straightened her spine and tipped up her chin. Gloria’s smile expanded and Mandy could hear the woman’s thoughts from across the room. Stinging her as they went slap, slap, slap.
“No. I won’t,” she said firmly, her jaw tight.
“Won’t what?” Gloria said, a challenge lowering her voice. She leaned forward like a cougar assessing its prey, all ears and unblinking attention, waiting to go in for the kill.
“Become--” She caught herself before she said you. “I won’t be a waitress for the rest of my life. I’m more than that.”
Gloria laughed. “Not a new idea, kiddo.” Challenge still lingered in her tone. “So? Whatcha gonna be, then?”
Mandy breathed hard as though she was suddenly in the middle of a passionate fight with a lover. “I’m going to open my own place.”
Oh, no. No, no, no. Where had that come from? She couldn’t do that. She didn’t have the money. Didn’t have the skills.
Gloria boomed out peels of laughter, her hands resting on her stomach for support. “Are you, now? Well, then. Tell me what Benny thinks of that!”
“He’ll support me,” Mandy said with conviction she must have borrowed from one of her mother’s soaps because it certainly didn’t feel real. “Maybe I’ll go into catering. Make lunches for Jen’s outdoor excursions.” Now there was an idea. Her good friend, Jen Kulak, had been running hikes, camping trips, and the like through her boss’s sporting goods store. She could probably use snacks and lunches for her clients. Although her friend’s budding business would need to grow a heck of a lot in order to support Mandy providing lunches for a living. “Or open a bakery.”
Gloria’s laughter got even louder.
“What? My brownies win a ribbon each year at the fall fair.”
The idea of her running her own business wasn’t that ridiculous, was it?
Benny had trained her to run his restaurant so he could take vacations. But he hadn’t taught her so she could go out on her own and compete against him. What was he going to think if she used his shared business tips against him?
But she wasn’t going to open her own place.
Although she could totally do it.
Maybe.
Probably.
No. Not really.
Yes. Yes, she could.
She just had to believe.
The problem was that she was stuck in Blueberry Springs where the options were about as plentiful as oranges on an apple tree. But maybe that was all she had to do--just reach and pluck something new from that tree. And if it was out of reach, then maybe she just had to get up on her toes and stretch a little.
Maybe Benny was secretly waiting for her to take over so he could retire. He had all his rental properties around town bringing in income. He didn’t need this place.
“Where you gonna get that kind of cash and brains?” Gloria asked. “You’re gonna have to sell your truck.”
Mandy frowned. She and Frankie had poured months--years--into souping up her machine. It was finally where she wanted it to be and it had so many great memories wrapped up in it. She loved that truck the way most people loved their children. It was so not up for grabs. It was going to take her places, but not at its own expense.
She’d have to work off ownership on Benny’s restaurant. Over a decade. Or three. Basically, in time for her retirement since she’d spent most of her extra cash proving she was more than that Mattson kid with worn out hand-me-downs from her brothers.
Darn those designer sales in the city. She might look well-dressed, but her savings weren’t where they should be if she wanted to start her own business.
“Why don’t you buy one of those chains?” Gloria suggested. “That’s got to be cheap and easy. I bet even you could run one of those things.”
Mandy shot her a glare, but the wheels in her head started turning.
“Or,” Gloria offered, “just ask Benny to give up this place.” Gloria hooted with laughter, just about knocking herself out of her chair.
“I just might,” Mandy stated, striding to the office Benny had at the back of the building. It was a longshot, but it was worth a try…wasn’t it?
With the idea--however unlikely to become reality--of taking over Benny’s poking at her, Mandy pushed herself to raise her fist to knock on his office door. Just before her knuckles rapped against the thick wood, she drew back. If the door was closed, he was trying to catch up on paperwork. She shouldn’t disturb him. She should think things through.
She turned away.
But how long was she supposed to sit here waiting for someone else to make her life what she wanted it to be? Flicking her hair over her shoulder, she turned back and raised her fist again. This woman would not wake up one day to realize she’d served her life away. No regrets.
The door opened as she went to bang against it and she had to step forward to steady herself.
“Oops.” Benny squeezed her upper arms, catching her. “Good to see you feeling better.” His nose wrinkled slightly and Mandy panicked, backing away.
She put a hand on her forehead. “Actually, I think I need to--”
“We need to take out the trash,” he interrupted. “I realized just how much you do around here.” Still holding her by the arm, he drew her into his office. “It’s different when you go on vacation and I have time to prepare for it.” He offered her a spot on the couch against the wall.
She perched on the edge of the low couch and clenched her shaking hands together. Benny sat forward, elbows propped on his desk as he gazed down at her. He studied her in a way that said he had things on his mind. Almost as if he’d overheard her with Gloria…
No, no. He couldn’t have overheard. His office door had been closed and, last she checked, he couldn’t read minds.
She stood and re-tucked the back of
her shirt. This was silly. She needed to carry on as she always had. There was nothing wrong with who she was and what she was doing with her life. She enjoyed it. She was good at it. And, after tips, the money was half decent.
Plus, she reminded herself, she didn’t need much if she wasn’t going to open her own place. And she wasn’t going to open her own place because that was a crazy idea that hadn’t been thought through. She was happy here. She was just feeling unsettled because Oz got married. She had been happy until then, right?
Oh, snap. She really did like the idea of having her own place. She could tell this feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon because she knew this was that something she’d been looking for.
She met Benny’s eye. Over the past few years, how many times had she secretly imagined this place as hers? She could own the best restaurant in town. She just had to pry it out of Benny’s hands.
She plopped onto the couch again.
“What’s up?” Benny asked. “Is this about the others not pulling their weight? You’re exceptional, you know that, right? We can’t expect them to go above and beyond like you do. Not for what I pay them.”
Mandy stared at her hands. What was she thinking? Benny was like a dad to her. He’d taught her so much and was always so supportive. She couldn’t ask him to hand over his pride and joy--his livelihood. And she definitely couldn’t compete against him, either.
“I know.” She let out a sigh, torn by doing the right thing and pursuing what she might want.
“Like I said, over the past few days, I’ve realized how much you do and how much we rely on you.”
“I’m just ready for something to happen in my life.” She looked up at him, wishing she could intuit her thoughts to him, then read his own without any words being said.
“Before you do anything rash…” he paused, shooting her a worried look, “I’ve come to the conclusion that you deserve a raise.”
“Um…what?” A tidal wave of confusion crashed over her and she rubbed her hands down her thighs, trying to cobble her thoughts back together from the various corners they’d scattered to like balls on a pool table.
