by JA Huss
I sigh and nod. “Yeah, sure.” I’m so good at pretending. So good at lying. So I pretend and I lie as I sit on the same stool that we had sex on two nights ago and watch him cook me the only good thing I kept of my mother after I was left alone at age fifteen to fend for myself. To raise my sister.
Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
Comfort food.
When he’s done cooking he serves me and we eat. Me sitting at the bar, him standing up on the other side of the island.
“I think…” I say, when we’re about halfway done eating. “I think something is very wrong with my sister.”
“What?” Oliver asks. “What happened? What were you guys doing all day?”
Where the hell do I start? With this morning? And the visit from my sister? The lies she told me to get me to go over to that Antimony Association brunch? The creepy feeling I got walking through the house? The fact that Mariel is back? I almost laugh at that, but I hold it in so he doesn’t ask more questions.
Hell, the fact that I even know Mariel would probably be a shock to him. That I work for her? That I work for Liam? That I work for Gori? Which parts of my mystery does he know? And which one of them will finally make him turn against me and walk away?
I shake my head. “No,” I say. “If we go there right now, I’ll be lost, Oliver. All the things I need to say will ruin the only good thing I have left. You.”
He takes in a long draw of air and lets it out very, very slowly. And then he walks around the island and takes my hand. Pulling me off the stool. We walk past the beautifully lit up buckeye and climb the stairs to the bedroom.
When we get to the top, he lets go of my hand as we stand at the foot of the bed.
He undresses me. He slips the green dress over one shoulder, then the next. It falls to my waist as he palms my breasts, just for a moment, before reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. I let him take that off and lick my nipples. Trading off, one to the next, like he’s afraid they might feel neglected if he only pays attention to one. His mouth covers them. Sucks and nips them.
“Sit,” he says, lightly pushing me to lower myself to the bed. He kneels in front of me and lifts up one of my boots. He drags the zipper down and takes it off, his palm flat against the bare skin of my calf. His touch so light, it sends a chill up my body. Then he goes to work on the next one.
He stands me up again after that. And the dress is pulled over my hips and falls to the floor.
I stand there in only my underwear and let him look. I let him get a good long look at the words that he wrote on my body this morning. And I wonder how that day and this day can be the same one.
When his eyes finally come back up to mine, I say, “Your turn now.”
Chapter Forty-One - OLIVER
“No,” I say. “There are no turns tonight.” And then I walk over to the bedside table and grab the markers I was using on her body last night. “I’m not done yet, Katya. I have so much more to say.”
She sighs and then I get a smile. “Well,” she says, looking at her body. “What’s left?”
“Everything’s left,” I say, taking her hand as she looks puzzled. “We have everything in front of us.”
I pull the cap off the marker with my teeth and start writing on her hand. This is the hand Oliver will hold onto, never letting go, for as long as he lives.
When I’m done writing and look up at her, she’s smiling again. “Do you plan on handcuffing us together?”
“If that’s what it takes.” I lower her hand and begin to write on mine. This is the hand Katya will hold onto, never letting go, for as long as she lives.
We hold each other then. Hands, bodies, hearts, and souls. “We’re a perfect match, darlin’,” I say. “I’m not after anything from you, Katya. I’m just after you.”
She frowns and buries her head in my neck, wrapping her arms around me tight. “I think I’ve made some bad choices, Oliver.”
I shrug, still holding her close. “I think we’re probably about even in that respect.”
“No.” She sighs. “You have no idea what my life is like.”
I have a lot of ideas, but that’s not what we need to talk about tonight. “The past is the past,” I say. “Sometimes you just have to forgive yourself and go forward.”
She lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at me. So serious. “What do you regret?”
“Not kidnapping you and making you my prisoner four years ago.”
I get a very small smile from that response. “Do you think it would have turned out differently?”
“No, Katya. No. It wouldn’t have. And that’s why I let you go. But I regret it. I do. I regret not learning more about what was happening. I regret not thinking our future together through a little better.”
“But I was young?” she asks.
“Very,” I say. “In age, anyway. You’re one of those old souls, Katya. People who have seen and heard it all before. But I’m sorry I let you down.” I kneel down in front of her naked body and kiss the words on her belly. “I’m sorry I let you travel that road without me.” And then I read them out loud. “‘I give you my love more precious than money. Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me? Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?’”
She kneels down with me and we settle on the floor. Both her hands come up to my scratchy face as she stares into my eyes. And then she leans in and we kiss.
When I pull away she’s crying. “What?” I ask, my turn to hold her face and look for meaning. “What’s wrong, Kat? If something’s happening, please tell me. No matter what it is, I will not let you travel alone again. I promise.”
She breathes heavy for several moments, trying to figure out if she should take that leap of faith. And then she draws in one final breath, holds it, and let everything pour out of her.
“My sister is into something very bad, Oliver. Those Silver people?” She sniffs. “Do you know them?”
I nod. “I do. We’re in trouble with them too. I’m just not sure why we’re in trouble yet. How did your sister get involved?”
“I don’t know. When I left here four years ago, I left her under the supervision of one of the most trusted private schools in the country.”
I nod. “I knew she went there, but I never paid much attention to her. I didn’t want to make her feel weird.”
“Oh, God, Oliver. I think those Silver people got to her while I was gone. She’s got these friends in this house just off campus called the Antimony Association.”
“Antimony?” I ask. “Isn’t that kinda like a silver—”
“Yes,” Kat says, crying harder now. “It’s them, Oliver. They’re here. They’ve been here the whole time I was gone. They got her. She took me to this brunch this morning. And I don’t even know how to explain how or why it was so damn creepy. Everything was creepy. The tents, the people—kids—all dressed up like they are already powerful adults. And their leader, Lauren, she has this really expensive art on the walls…”
Kat starts crying uncontrollably now. “Shh,” I say. “Stop crying and just tell me, Katya. Just tell what happened.”
“She mentioned you, Oliver!”
“What? How? What did she say?”
Katya sniffs and wipes her face with the back of her hand that has no marker on it. “I said something like, ‘You shouldn’t have that photograph out in the open like that.’ And she said, ‘We use ShrikeSafe Security, so we’re fine.’”
“That’s it?” I ask.
“That’s your company!”
“I know, Kat. But lots of people around here use it. And it’s not really mine. My sisters all own that.” I let her sink into me and we lean back against the bed. She cries softly for a few more minutes, thinking it through. I’m not about to tell her she’s wrong about those people. I just want her to consider all things rationally. And it’s really hard to do that when you’re in a panic.
I smooth her hair down and then lean forward to try to see her fac
e. “We don’t need to figure it all out tonight, you know. Tomorrow everything will become clearer.”
“Tomorrow is her birthday, Oliver.”
Goddamn, she sounds so small and scared right now.
“She’s eighteen. And that’s… she’s getting her call, just like me. I got called back to Lucio Gori. I never got away, Oliver. Never. They let me run. They knew where I was going. They knew what I was doing. And then they came back that summer. And he said, ‘You have until the end of the summer to get Lily set up in school and then I’ll expect you back here.’”
Why didn’t she tell me?
It’s a rhetorical question meant just for me. Because of course, I know why she didn’t tell me.
She was afraid of him. Lucio Gori Senior.
“So I went. But you know what?” She lifts her head off my chest and stares at me in the almost dark.
“What?” I ask.
“I led them right to her.” She starts crying again. “They got to her while I was gone.”
“Shh,” I say, sighing heavily and wrapping my arms around her so tight, I’m afraid I might break a rib. “Trust me for just a little bit longer, can you do that, Katya? If you do, I promise, I will make this all better.”
“This is the moment,” she says, choking back a sob. “This is the real moment when I buy into it. When I start to really believe that nothing can touch us and then everything spins out of control.”
I pet her head like she’s a child. Someone I need to care for and keep safe. “No,” I say. “This is not that moment, Katya. You are safe with me, OK?” I stare at her. I want to make her believe me. “I promise. Nothing is going to stop us from being happy. Nothing. I will give you my love more precious than money. And you will give me yourself. You will come travel with me. And we will stick by each other for as long as we live. I promise.” I murmur it over and over again. “I promise.”
She cries for a little longer, but eventually she falls asleep wrapped up in my arms. I lift her up and place her on the bed. Cover her body and tuck her in.
I sit there with her for a while. Just enjoying the stillness of her sleep. But once I’m sure I wont’ wake her I find her phone in her pile of clothes, go downstairs, and open the door just to the left of the kitchen that might be a pantry, or a broom closet, but which is neither, and enter.
I lock myself inside and turn on the server. While I wait for the internet to boot up, I turn on the TV and calm myself by watching the news sites and checking Katya’s phone. Our faces are all over the networks. It sickens me to see the old charges mentioned again. But it’s necessary. How will I ever travel with Katya if this baggage is dragging behind us?
The server makes some clicking noises that tells me it’s connected, and I open the phone app I use to communicate with him.
He picks up on the third ring. “Yeah,” he says.
“I need a favor,” I say.
A laugh. “I’ve seen the news, friend. Not looking good for you.”
“I gave you what you wanted. I did my job. She’s here in my fucking bed. Now you have a debt to me.”
“We have your bank account.”
“No,” I say. “That’s not what I want and you know it. I want revenge. I want it all erased, do you understand?”
“I have no authority for that.”
“Then get it,” I say. “I have good intel, OK? You do not want to pass this chance up. So listen carefully.”
I tell him everything Kat just told me and he’s quiet the entire time. Sometimes that’s a good sign, sometimes it isn’t. So I finish talking and hold my breath as I wait.
After almost a minute of silence—“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. You know I would not risk this call if I wasn’t fucking sure. And before you hang up, I want one more thing. I want Katya, for good, motherfucker.”
A long exhale. “I’ll see what I can do.”
The call dies, so I call Weston next. He picks up on the first ring.
“Dude,” he says. ‘I’m fucking dying of boredom over here. Save me, Oliver.”
“You should be happy you’re bored, asshole. And I didn’t call to chat. I need something from you. And I’m not taking no for an answer. This is the only way to make things right for me, Weston. I helped you when you and Tori needed it. I got Five to help you. Now you need to help me get what I want.”
He’s silent for a few seconds. “I’ll do what I can, Oliver. We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah,” I say. “We’re friends.” And then I tell him what I want. And even though I know it’s not a big sacrifice for him to give up what I need, it means a lot to me for some reason.
They all mean a lot to me, I realize.
After we hang up I turn the TV and the server off and go back to bed—afraid to fall asleep. Afraid to stay awake. Afraid that Katya will wake up at any moment and realize she is in that moment.
The moment when she understands that she did everything wrong.
When the sun starts to come up and I still haven’t slept, I lean over to kiss Kat on the cheek. “Hey,” I say softly into her ear. “We’re gonna go over to Ariel’s. Come on, get dressed.”
She turns away from me and sits up in bed. I wonder how long she’s been faking sleep? “No. I have to find my sister. She comes for coffee every day. She will come today, just like always. And I need to be home when that happens.”
“Katya,” I say, my voice sterner than I intended. “We need to stay together.”
“No.” She gets up out of bed and goes looking for her clothes. “And I need to get rid of this dress. I can’t wear it another day.”
“OK,” I say, scratching my chin. “So I’ll take you over to your apartment and you can grab clothes—”
“No, Oliver.” She stares me down, daring me to contradict her one more time. “I mean it. I promised my sister we’d hang out all day today and that’s what we’re doing. I’m not giving up yet. I can fix this. Whatever she’s gotten herself into, I can fix it, Oliver.”
I don’t know what to do. I certainly don’t want her interacting with anyone even remotely related to the Silver Society. And I need to find Pax so we can plan this meeting with Liam. But I can’t leave her here. Not without leaving the place unsecure. The alarm is a lot more complicated than giving someone a four-digit code.
“You can drop me off, Oliver. But I’m staying home today. Once she gets there I’ll find a reason for her to stay with me. That’s where I’ll be. So just have the doorman call up when you’re ready to come back here for the night, and we’ll both go with you.”
I think about it for a second.
“OK?” she says, taking my face in her hands and kissing my lips.
“You promise to stay home today? Not go anywhere, and if you do, you’ll come right over to Hook-Me-Up?”
“I promise,” she says. “How much safer can I get? I’m practically next door. And you guys will all be at work.”
“OK,” I decide. “You’re right. Your place is about as close as I can hope for without handcuffing you to me.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll get my sister and we’ll watch the news for updates. We’ll be fine.”
I’m repeating those words in my head the whole drive over to her building. I drop her off in front, carefully watching the doorman get the elevator for her. And then force myself to drive around the back to the alley and park the car.
Paxton is sitting on the stoop that leads up to the back door, phone in hand, looking like he didn’t get a lick of sleep last night. “Change of plans,” he says.
Chapter Forty-Two - KATYA
At home, everything about my apartment suddenly seems wrong. I look up at all the places cameras could be, then look away real fast, trying not to think about it.
Act natural, I tell myself. What would I be doing right now if I wasn’t waiting for my world to end?
Lily. I’m waiting for Lily.
I’m still wearing yesterday’s clothes, and it’s still
early, so I get in the shower, wash up, and then put on an outfit more appropriate to what is going to happen today. When I’m ready less than thirty minutes later, I call Lily’s phone to try to get a time estimate on her.
It rings through to voicemail.
I leave one. “Hey,” I say into the phone. “Happy birthday! It’s me. We’re supposed to have coffee today, remember? Hang out all day? Celebrate like sisters? Ringing any bells?” I pause, waiting for what, I don’t know. “OK, well, call me when you get this.”
My stomach hurts so bad right now, I walk to the bathroom, drop to my knees in front of the toilet, and wait to throw up.
My head spins with the reality I refused to admit to last night.
Lily is missing. Lily has been missing for almost twenty-four hours. I last saw her just before noon at the Antimony Association house.
What the fuck is wrong with me? How could I have left her there?
My phone rings in the other room. I get to my feet and race down the hallway, desperately trying to get to it before it goes to voicemail.
“Hello? Hello?” And I fail. The call is not there.
I tab the end button and hold it close to my chest.
The next rings scares the fuck out of me. I drop the phone, the protective glass shatters, and it takes me another full ring to snap out of my shock, tab the accept button, and say, “I’m here! Lily?”
“No,” the person says on the other end. “It’s not Lily, whoever that is. It’s Victoria, Kat. I’m sorry to call you.” She sounds like she’s crying. “I found your number in Ariel’s contacts. But you’re the only one who will understand. You’re the only one who will take me seriously.”
“Whoa, whoa,” I say. “Slow down. What are you talking about?”
“Weston’s parents are in town, Kat. And I know that no one believes me, but they are bad people. And they still think—”
I almost panic at what she doesn’t say next. This phone, my regular phone, is most definitely bugged. And if she admits to West’s death being a hoax—
But she pulls herself together and clears her throat. “They still think I’m going to like them. Accept them. Let them into our new family.”
