by Lisa Olsen
“What do you mean by that? A gift?”
“I was young and impatient. I forced her before she was ready.” Jakob began to talk faster, a pucker appearing on his brow. “You must remember, times were different then. It was my right to take her, regardless of her tender feelings.”
He hadn’t just forced her feelings, he’d forced her physically. I recoiled in disgust, pulling my hand from his. How could someone so considerate of my wishes that he let me be with another man treat any woman like that? Especially one he claimed to love. “But you said she came around, and I saw how much she loved you. How could she forgive you something like that?” He didn’t meet my gaze and all at once I understood. He’d compelled her into loving him.
“I chose for her,” he admitted, head hanging in shame. “I didn’t understand until now what I gave up in making that decision for her. How much I want you to choose me of your own free will. I’ve never experienced love freely given.” His head came up, blue eyes seeking mine. “I would have that from you, älskling.”
He asked me for love almost in the same breath that he told me he’d raped his first wife both physically and emotionally. Did he really not understand the position that put me in? “I’m sorry… I don’t… I, I just…”
His hands came up in supplication, cutting off my stammered response. “No, you mistake me, petal. I do not ask for your love now. I merely mean to lay the cards out on the table, as they say. I would have your love in your own time under your own terms. I wish to start anew with you, but I seek to hide nothing. That is why I showed you the flawed history of that ring. That is why I freely admit my mistakes, if only to show how much I’ve changed for you.”
“For me… you should change for yourself,” I murmured, taking in the heady words. If he was to be believed, that gave me a lot of power over him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of it. “If you’re so big on not compelling me to feel anything one way or the other, what about the ring then? Why do I feel so uncomfortable every time I even think about taking it off? And why didn’t I remember anything about you when I first woke up in the morgue?”
“Ah, those things you must forgive me.” His head hung again, but I could tell from the smile that lurked around his eyes that he wasn’t truly sorry for them. “I didn’t say I’d never compelled you in any way, only that I haven’t compelled you to love me.”
“Okay,” I waved him on, “let’s have it then. What did you do to mess with my head?” Depending on his answer, I was so out of there…
“The ring was selfish I suppose. I wanted you to keep something of mine with you, always. It’s nothing more sinister than that.”
“And the second?”
“The second compulsion was for your protection as well as mine. I couldn’t openly claim you, it seemed safer to keep any knowledge of your Sire hidden until I could come for you myself.”
Safer? His definition of the word clearly didn’t mesh with mine. It all smacked of half truths, but I didn’t know where to apply pressure to get him to fold (if such a thing was even possible). “Why did you leave me that night? The night you turned me.”
A breath filled his lungs for an impossibly long time before he let it out in a slow exhalation. “I hadn’t meant to. I made my preparations in an out of the way place, the better to keep from drawing any undue attention.”
“I remember it,” I murmured, thinking back to the runes carved into the floor and the handmade mattress soaked with my blood. More than that, I remembered Bishop taking me through the abandoned house, teaching me to extend my newly heightened senses – something my Sire should have done himself. “What made you leave me there for the paramedics to find?”
“Bad luck,” he replied, and there was no guile in the shrug of his shoulders. “Almost as soon as I finished the ritual there were shots fired in the area, and a police search began. I was weakened by the giving of my blood.” Interesting. “The police came in, and I chose to leave and trust in your instincts to protect you rather than risk detection, it’s as simple as that. I’d planned to retrieve you from the hospital with none the wiser, but I learned the Order was involved by then, and it seemed prudent to stay away.”
I’d just about been swayed by the logic of his explanation when the last bit caught my attention. “Wait, then you knew the Order was involved and you still didn’t come forward?” I balked. “I almost ended up in vampire jail or worse. You know I didn’t have the proper license. What if they’d killed me on sight?”
Jakob’s chuckle prickled my already irritated temper, but he seemed not to notice. “Clearly you survived quite well on your own, petal. You’re more resourceful than you give yourself credit for, but I was prepared to step in if needed.”
Okay, so I wasn’t in mortal danger that whole time. Cool beans. I couldn’t help thinking that might’ve been nice to know at the time. There didn’t seem to be much point in scolding him over it though, considering it was one of the least awful things he’d done. “Will you tell me why you’re hiding out from vampire society?”
Jakob’s face twisted with distaste. “I dislike the term hiding out. It implies fear, where I have none. I simply choose to keep on the down low, as they say, for now.”
“For how long?”
“Not too much longer. Soon I will take my place with you at my side.”
Did soon mean two months or two decades? Vampire time could be tricky depending on the eye of the beholder. “What happens then? When you’re tired of waiting in the wings?” Something flashed in his eyes. Avarice, lust, too much aquavit? It was impossible to tell, but it made me nervous, all the same.
“Wouldn’t you rather know what pleasures await when you take your place by my side? Shall I share another memory with you?” His voice dropped to a husky throb as he scooted closer, the neck of his shirt stretching wider to reveal the tanned expanse of skin beneath. “Perhaps a bigger taste is in order now, I think.”
Chapter Six
“I think,” I swallowed, trying to steer the conversation away from such a dizzying temptation. “I think we should talk about something a little less… just a little less.”
Jakob regarded me with thinly veiled amusement, but backed off, the predatory gleam in his eyes temporarily fading. “What shall we talk of then?”
“I have a list…” I pulled the folded piece of paper from my beaded purse, smoothing it out against my middle and he laughed, spreading his hands wide.
“Ask away.”
“Okay…” My eyes skimmed over the piece of paper, looking for a good one to open with. I really should’ve made a new list in order of priority, instead of the order in which I happened to think of a question. “Oh, this is a good one, and pretty appropriate, I think. What do you do when you meet other vampires? Who do you tell them you are? I don’t just mean your name, but what do you tell them you are?”
“Most vampires of this day are sadly uneducated and can’t tell what I am. They only know I am alive, but different. Some can sense my power, and some remain blissfully ignorant of my presence.” (I found that hard to believe.) “I avoid them for the most part. It’s none of their business who and what I am.”
“What should I tell people then, if they ask me about you?”
Jakob leaned forward, an intensity flashing in his blue gaze. “Say nothing of my presence here. Use your compulsion if necessary, as I did with your household.”
It occurred to me that both Bishop and Mason knew who and what he was, but I kept my trap shut. “Okay, fair enough,” I agreed, reaching for a sip of aquavit. “What about others like me? Are there any vampires that you sired still around? I remember Bishop said something once about how you’d killed off your progeny once they fell into disfavor with you.” A topic that had cost me more than a few hours staring off into space, wondering if my undead life was in jeopardy if Jakob decided he didn’t feel like waiting for me to love him anymore.
His face instantly clouded with an
ger. “Don’t speak to me of Ulrik and his lies. He only believes what he wants to.”
It wasn’t much of an answer one way or the other. So much for open disclosure. I took a deep breath and tried again. “Alright, how about this one? What does älskling
mean?”
That brought the smile back to his lips. “I would gladly show you with a bit more privacy.” Somehow my hand ended up in his, and he lifted it to his mouth, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the inside of my wrist.
More privacy? “I um…” Suddenly feeling warm and flushed, I tugged weakly, but he held fast to my arm, lips grazing a slow trail up the tender inside of my arm. “That’s okay, maybe we can save that one for later. Is it me, or is it warm in here?”
“You hunger,” he replied, with a knowing grin. “I would be more than willing to see to all of your needs.”
I wasn’t ready for that. “Not on the first date,” I protested, tugging more firmly until he released my arm.
“This is hardly our first date.”
“Yes, but we’re starting new, remember?” I edged towards the end of the booth, putting needed space between us. I’d been too preoccupied with getting ready for the date to think much about eating first, but he was right, I could feel the telltale signs. I needed to hunt. “Maybe we should get out of here. I do need to eat, and it probably shouldn’t be around your favorite watering hole.”
“That hardly signifies.” His arm shot out and Jakob grabbed a passing waitress, pulling her into his lap. “The staff here are very obliging, aren’t you?” he smiled encouragingly, earning him a vacant nod from the girl.
I pictured us both feeding in the curtained booth, and the corresponding rush of heat had me bolting to my feet. “I think I need some fresh air. You um, go ahead. I’ll meet you outside.”
Jakob appeared by my side mere seconds after I emerged into the night air, falling into step beside me. “You’re right, best not to muddy the local waters. Where would you like to go?”
“You want to go hunting with me?”
“It’s hardly a hunt, but yes. If you will not take my blood, you must eat soon, petal.” He brushed a tendril of hair away from my neck. “I would not have you suffer the pangs of hunger.”
“To tell the truth, I haven’t had too much time to set up a usual hunting ground in these parts. I’m always worried I’ll end up poaching someone else’s feeder.” True it was easy enough to ask, and I’d worked hard to instill that courtesy in Ellie when she fed, but it always felt awkward to me.
“Such notions… where do you get these ideas?” His head shook slowly in amusement.
“It’s not considered polite to eat someone else’s human.”
“We have no need for such pleasantries. We have the right to take what we wish.”
So he hadn’t changed all that much, had he? “Still, I’m open to suggestions if there’s a place you want to go.”
“Very well, I’ll show you where I prefer to seek my prey, shall I?” Leaving the car behind, Jakob wrapped an arm around my waist, zooming me through the darkened streets, much like he had the day he’d come to Hanna’s rescue. When my head cleared from the rush of dizziness at finding myself on my own two feet again, I recognized that he’d brought me to Hunters Point, appropriately enough.
I vaguely knew where we were, but that was about it, the neighborhood was too rough for my tastes, especially at night. Not that we had anything to worry about, being the two strongest things on the block, and it was liberating to check out a hidden part of the city with Jakob by my side. He led me to a dive bar with a painted sign outside that merely said Tavern, the actual name having long ago faded into obscurity.
Inside, we took a scarred booth, the seats more duct tape and epoxy than the original cushioned vinyl. Jakob held up two fingers, and two steins of beer appeared with a slosh of froth from the harried bartender, his sharp eyes more focused on the folded bills Jakob held out than anything else.
“Nice place,” I ventured, taking a sip from the tall mug before wishing I hadn’t. “Do you come here often?”
“I do,” Jakob admitted with an easy grin, his large frame filling the booth. “When I’m in the mood for something bracing.” He raised the mug to me, downing the vile contents as though it was the finest nectar of the gods.
“And here I thought you’d prefer stalking something more refined,” I replied, my gaze skimming over the crowd. There were far more men than women in the bar, and those women appeared to be of the working variety.
“You don’t approve?” he asked mildly.
“No, it’s fine. It just doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of choices.” And none of them terribly appealing.
“Why not? There are plenty to choose from.” He gestured expansively and I realized, he didn’t have the same prejudices Bishop had when it came to feeding.
“Then you don’t mind if I feed on a guy?”
“Why should I mind?” he blinked in astonishment. “Why would I want to deprive you of the pleasure?”
“No reason, I guess,” I replied, my mindset rapidly shifting. “Is that what you prefer yourself?” Somehow I’d pictured him wanting someone softer.
“When the mood strikes,” he shrugged. “There is something to experience in all, but I prefer the strength of men, full of vigor.”
“And it doesn’t bother you to feel… intimate with them?” I asked, for lack of a better word.
“No, why should it?”
“No reason, I guess,” I repeated, turning my focus back to the choices at hand. I spotted a likely candidate almost immediately. Sitting alone near the back door of the place, he nursed a beer, studiously ignoring the raucous card game going on beside him. He was big, with broad shoulders and a strong jaw, the kind of guy who could put down anyone else in the bar and knew it. He wore a navy peacoat and grubby jeans with heavy, scuffed workboots. A jagged scar bisected one eyebrow, lending him a quizzical expression, even when his focus was firmly rooted in the bottom of his beer.
“Have you found one to your liking?” Jakob’s eyes glowed with warmth.
“I think so. See that guy by the back door?” I jerked my head, resisting the urge to point. “How about him?”
“An excellent choice. He looks strapping enough to satisfy us both.”
“Both?”
“Unless you object to sharing?”
“Um, no, that’s fine.” I shoved away the memory of feeding with Bishop in the alley. “Do you want to put the whammy on him, or should I?” I waggled my eyebrows, and he rumbled with laughter.
“Why don’t you? I’ll meet you outside.”
“Okey doke, I’ll see you out there.” That left me a little out of my element in such a rough place, but I was confident I could handle myself. Leaving the sour brew behind, I rose and crossed the room to stand beside his table, conscious of the eyes in the room following me as easy prey.
“Hi there,” I began, smiling once he looked up. “I wonder if you would mind walking me to my car?”
He seemed to find nothing amiss with such a request, and I was happy to find him looking at me right in the eye instead of the leering appraisal I got from most of the others in the bar with my fancy updo. “Now?” he asked, raising his beer for another drink.
“Well… you can finish your beer, if you want. I’d really appreciate it though. You can’t be too careful in this area, right?”
“You got that right,” he allowed with a shake of the head, tipping up his mug to drain the contents and shambling to his feet. “After you, miss.”
His manners surprised me, and I led him to the back door instead of the main exit, trusting it to be more secluded. I was right about that, there were no cars parked in the narrow alley behind the building. Apart from some dirty garbage cans and the trash strewn beside them, we were all alone. I looked for Jakob, but there was no sign of him either.
“If you don’t mind me asking…” My escort drew my attention back to him.
“What’
s a nice girl like me doing in a place like this?” I asked it for him and was surprised to see the hint of a dimple as he smiled.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Looking for someone like you,” I answered honestly enough.
“Are you now?” His scarred brow grew more inquisitive. “You don’t strike me as the type.”
“What type?”
“The type that normally trolls this part of town, looking for a little rough trade. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. If that’s what you’re looking for, that is. I’m definitely up for it.” The dimples reappeared, and I almost wished I was in the market for what he hinted at.
“Oh, that wasn’t what I meant when I said I was looking for…” I came to a halt, figuring it was as good a place as any to take him. “Not exactly.”
“You’re shy… I like that,” he smiled, leaning closer. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll get you to your car safely. Where we go after that is up to you.”
“That’s sweet, um… what’s your name?”
“Does it matter?” Jakob asked, materializing out of the shadows, and the guy jumped back a foot.
“Who’s this?” he asked, eyes narrowing warily as he recognized Jakob from inside the bar. “Hey, I don’t do any freaky scenes. So whatever you two had in mind…”
“Be still,” Jakob commanded and he went completely still, but I could see the fear in his eyes.
“Be nice, Jakob, he’s a good guy,” I chided lightly until Jakob released him from his hold and I turned my focus back to the man. “What’s your name?” I tried again.
“Chad,” his eyes darted quickly to Jakob before returning to me. “My name is Chad.”
“Shhh, it’s okay, there’s nothing to worry about, understand?” I sent him a calming wave, gratified to see the fear melt from his face. “Do you belong to anyone else, Chad?”
“No…” His tongue darted out to moisten his lips. “Except, maybe to you.”
