by Raven Scott
“I assumed he died.” My lip curled at Spyder’s admission, and I shook my head viciously. “I’ll work on my mom. I’m hoping we can stop this shit before it gets worse. And to answer your question, Hailey’s talking to Bailey about moving in together here in Margot.”
“Your ol’ lady think she can handle all that?” The atmosphere shifted with the conversation, but I prayed to fucking God that Spyder realized how dangerous this was now. It didn’t matter if he couldn’t fathom disrespecting his mother; we were dealing with people who didn’t give two shits about their own moms. Sometimes, his inability to understand that other people played by other morals and standards was damn fucking frustrating. “I mean, I know they like each other, but living with each other is a whole other beast.”
“She can handle herself with Hailey.” Waving me off, Spyder inhaled a deep breath and rolled his shoulders as I suppressed a snort of disbelief. Bailey couldn’t confront her way out of a paper bag. But hey, I wasn’t the one that was gonna have to deal with that shit. “Regardless . . . we’re gonna have to figure out where to go from here. We don’t have enough to go on.”
“Send Cole after Mathew. He’s got plenty of reason. Take out the president, and they’ll dissolve.” I was singin’ the same tune Spyder was as he grunted in agreement, and I glanced over my shoulder warily. “Do you know what’s up with him? He’s not tellin’ me much.”
“Then he doesn’t want you to know much, Bruiser. All I know is that it involves his sister, I don’t think he’s decided what to do yet. You know how he is. For now, let’s just focus on the Hellraisers before they get too out of control.” Reaching to rub the back of my neck, I rolled my head and closed my eyes briefly. If Spyder wasn’t concerned, I sure as shit was gonna be. He was too good a guy.
And nothing was happening. Just like with Bailey’s bullshit, Spyder just hung back and waited. Always on the back foot. Always reactionary. It frustrated the shit out of me, but I said my peace.
Peace until shit ignites.
“You know, Spyder, I trust you with my life. You and me have been through some crazy shit together. I defied Minter for you. You ain’t gonna lose me for nothin’, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stand for your shit. You have to do something about Hellraisers, and whatever that is, I’ll back you up. Whatever you decide, I’ll implement. Let me know when you do.” Turning to walk out of the garage, I reached to wave and tap the bay door on my way out. The sun was harsh, and I inhaled a deep, calming, hot breath and held it. I shook my head viciously to clear my thoughts. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I navigated to Nicole’s contact to frown on the way to my bike.
I hadn’t expected her to contact me, but damn, it hurt that she hadn’t.
“I’ll see her tomorrow when I drop off her car.” Mumbling to myself, I scrunched up my nose as I locked my phone. “I need a ride to clear my head.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nicole
Pausing mid-step when I saw a hulking, brooding figure at the bar, my mouth dried as goosebumps blanketed my skin. Bruiser sipped his draft leisurely, no helmet anywhere near him, and I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth nervously. I gulped down the sudden lump in my throat before forcing my knees to bend. Seeing him after the past week sent uncomfortable shocks across the bridge of my nose, and they only intensified as I closed the distance between us.
“Hey. What’re you doin’ here?” Bruiser whipped around, the tension in his face easing as he smiled in relief. My chest tightened, and I pulled my apron from around my waist to fold it sloppily. Sliding onto the stool next to him, I smoothed my apron in my lap as my palms tingled wildly.
“You look like less of an anxious mess than I expected, Nicole.” Surprise rose my brows, and flames licked up my neck as earnestness glimmered in Bruiser’s eyes. “How have you been, baby?”
“I’m . . . I’m okay. My sister said the same thing.” I nodded more to myself than Bruiser as he scanned me skeptically. His concern was touching, and I reached to put my hand on his arm. He was so hard, his muscles bulging and writhing against my palm as I smoothed his bristly hairs. “Really, Bruiser.”
“I believe you.” Satisfaction flooded my system, and Bruiser took a sip of his beer before putting his hand over mine. Pleasure rippled up my arm and crowded my chest, and I smiled wider before he cleared his throat. “How’d it go with your sister? She seemed like a hardass when she picked you up.”
“She is, yeah, but not in a bad way. We talked . . .” Guilt flushed my cheeks as memories flashed behind my eyelids, and I tore my eyes off Bruiser. Licking my lips heavily, I carefully chose my next words. “She doesn’t like you, but that’s okay. She’s not dating you.”
“She’s not wrong. That shit at the party was unacceptable.” I was taken off guard by that, and Bruiser propped his elbow on the table to grunt down into his glass. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Nicole. I’m in a bad way. Those thugs are gonna rally and make life difficult for a while. But we got options, you and me. We can hold off until I deal with this. I don’t blame you if you wanna skip out completely. I sure as shit don’t expect you to put up with this bullshit. This past week really fucking sucked.”
His admission rolled thickly off his tongue, and Bruiser took a large gulp of his beer. The silence stretched as I stared at him, struggling to find words of my own. Slowly, my smile drooped, and my heart ached for him as his tension buzzed against my palm.
“It did suck.” Stiffening at my admission, Bruiser’s crystal blue eyes met mine to narrow into slits. Holding my cheek on my fist, I chuckled a little, humorless laugh as my gaze trailed down to the swirling of his tattoos. “I wasn’t sure how to approach you. I’m the kinda person that has to remove myself from the situation and think about it for a while before I decide how I feel about it. I appreciate that you respected that, Bruiser.”
“You’re very welcome, baby. Those guys won’t come after you here, and they don’t come to Margot. That’s our turf. Oh . . .” Glancing behind him over his shoulder, Bruiser leaned in close to me, and electricity skittered down my neck. “That guy’s not dead, by the way. He shredded his leg, though, so that’s gone. I wanted you to know. They’re gonna blame us, so no one’s gonna show up at your door or anything, but I figured it was weighing on you not knowing.”
“He’s not? That’s great. Um, to be honest, I didn’t think about it that much. I tried not to think about it, and it wasn’t that hard, I mean.” My confession earned me a curious look, and Bruiser’s jaw ticked as I played with the thick hairs bristling on his forearm. I gulped down the tightness in my throat, and a faltering smile sat uncomfortably on my face. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just . . . why stress myself out so much over something that’s not my fault, and I can’t control? Tom still messages me, you know, and I’m tired of being dragged around by everyone.”
“He does? Do you respond?” Shaking my head, I leaned back to run my hand through my hair and pull out my ponytail.
“Yeah. The point is that I don’t wanna be that person that lets stuff hang over me anymore. It was him, mostly, but also you, too . . . because you put effort into being with me, and that really opened my eyes.” My face flamed at my confession, and Bruiser’s gaze tenderized like a proper steak. Holding my breath, my heart fluttered wildly, and his eyes twinkled as he lifted his free hand to flag down the bartender.
“Let me closeout, and we’ll grab something to eat. Were you feelin’ anything in particular?” Fishing his wallet out of his back pocket, Bruiser cast me an expectant look as I shook my head again. He slapped two twenties on the bar before grabbing my hand, and warmth suffused my chest. His fingers fit so well between mine. “Thank you for letting me hang in here while you close up. I’m thinkin’ somethin’ heavy and greasy. You pulled a double today, right, Nicole? You deserve it.”
“I did, yeah.” He remembered. Something about that just tickled me pink, and I smiled broadly as we left the restaurant. “Thanks for not saying we should just gr
ab some leftovers Cal has in the fridge. I want some hot food in my stomach, not some reheated stuff.”
“I imagine you’d never eat here if you had the choice. Spyder’s sister worked at a breakfast place, and after that, she never ate a bacon-egg-and-cheese sandwich again.” We stepped out onto the sidewalk, and I let go to Bruiser’s warm palm to pull my hair back up into a loose bun. My legs ached after my shifts, and I took a deep, freeing breath and held it. Stretching my arms over my head, I paused when greedy hands caressed up my sides. His eyes held mine captive as he eliminated the distance between us, and my face flamed from the intensity of his stare. “Listen, Nicole, we gotta talk about some things.”
“O-okay . . . we can do that.” The tension that straightened Bruiser’s shoulders didn’t seep away at my acceptance, and he slung an arm around my back to lead me down the sidewalk. We headed away from the parking lot, but I soaked up the setting sun and slight breeze. Shouldering my purse on my other arm, I unfolded my apron to tie it around my waist just to avoid carrying it. “Are you okay, Bruiser?”
I don’t know what I expected him to say, but his silence was damning, and I clenched my jaw hard. Tonight was beautiful, dark, the streetlamps illuminating our way more than the sun as it struggled to stretch across the sky. In half an hour, it’d be dark. I couldn’t shake the sensation that tingled the backs of my eyes.
“I’m gonna be transparent with you, baby. Shit’s gonna go down.” Bruiser palmed my side as we walked as if he had to touch me in some way, and I glanced over through wary eyes. He frowned, rubbing his mouth and chin roughly. “Anytime there’s trouble, there’s this period of restlessness. There’s the feeling that something’s gonna happen, but you don’t know what. And I’m in this period right now. When you take a defensive stance, you’re waiting for the other person to make a move, right? I really, really suck at it, though.”
“So, you can’t do something about it?” He shook his head, his expression tightening. The lines around his eyes and mouth deepened, and Bruiser raked his hand through his hair as we came upon a cross street. Tightening his arm around me, he jabbed the crosswalk button to rock back on his heels. But he didn’t look at me as he thought how best to answer.
“Spyder’s made the decision to be on the back foot. I hate it, but I won’t go against him. Warpath has had problems with those assholes for years and years over a bunch of unrelated, seemingly inconsequential shit. If it were me, I’d march my ass there and deal with it, but Spyder isn’t like that. He wants reasons to do shit that are more than just wanting to do it. I’ve told him it’s a mistake to wait until this gets bad, but he pulled the bullshit ‘just because they may’ card.” His frustration simmered in his tone, and I reached to put my hand on his chest. Bruiser grunted, his heart beating hard against my palm when he covered it with his own. “It’s strange. It’s almost like a lawsuit. You’re just waiting and waiting, and you know things are happening, but you don’t know what those things are. We know enough. We know where that little prick is, and we know if you cut the head off the snake, it may writhe around for a while, but it’ll die.”
“Is that literal?” Finally, Bruiser’s gaze caught mine, and a fire raged in them as he nodded curtly. My breath hitched, but I shook my head hastily and sucked in a huge breath. “Well, wanting to justify yourself and your actions. I get it. Spyder doesn’t want to feel guilty if he doesn’t have to. Like with that guy that threw himself under my car. It’s the natural course of action to run him over, and it’s his fault he lost his leg.”
I talked a big talk, but the words that escaped me made my stomach flip; I hoped it’d be an easier pill to swallow as time went on, though. And, hopefully, I’d never see that guy again.
“We’ve been hearing rumors that the Hellraisers are kicking up shit for a lot of people, though. I think Spyder’s ignoring the big picture to focus on his personal morals when, in reality, he won’t be the one capable of doing the job, anyway.” Flexing his fingers just under my breast, Bruiser urged me across the street, and I hummed softly as I stared at the passing, white lines. Did that mean he was gonna ‘do the job’? But my question had no answer as he blustered a sigh. “I dunno. I told him all this. I’m just venting, and I shouldn’t.”
“Did the person you kill . . . was it self-defense?” Bruiser didn’t tense or get nervous at my question like he did when I agreed to go out with him only moments ago. For a few seconds, the silence was thick, and we reached the other sidewalk before he paused to turn to me fully. A war raged in his eyes, but I knew he’d tell me the truth.
“Not exactly. She was my mother, and I killed her for all the times she tried to kill me growing up.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Nicole
“Right there . . . o-o-oh . . .” Groaning softly, my eyelids fluttered shut in bliss as Bruiser’s fingertips kneaded my crown so, so wonderfully firmly. He sat on my sofa, and I sat between his legs to flop my head back into his lap. His smirk warmed my face, the pleasurable tingles of his hands skittering down my spine and sternum. “Yeah, this is the stuff.”
“I bet it is. You’ve been quiet. I worried I went too far.” Cracking open my eyes to stare blearily at the ceiling, I licked my lips heavily. Bruiser’s voice rolled down my body like a cleansing rain, but his words were sharp and prickly. “It’s been so long . . . I lie about so much. I can barely keep things straight anymore.”
“You don’t gotta lie to me.” Bruiser’s smile suddenly appeared above me, and I blinked hard as he hunched over me. His other hand invaded my hair, and I sucked in a sharp breath as an innocent euphoria flooded my system. Massaging my scalp with both his hands, he chuckled lightly when I closed my eyes again. I had to forcibly work through my next words. “It must be hard . . . to never . . . uh-h . . . I lost it.”
“I know, baby. You worry about people’s feelings now, not years and years ago. The truth is my mom was fucking insane. When I was eight, she shot me. Tried to kill me. And there wasn’t a reason for it. She was just . . . nuts.” Reaching to grab my hand, Bruiser held my palm to his side, and goosebumps swept down my arm. A faded glob of scar tissue tickled my palm, and he dragged my hand up to his shoulder. “I went to live with my uncle, and she came back when I was thirteen and tried to chop my head off. It’s hard to explain, but I think back on it now, and it’s almost funny.”
“Why would almost being killed be funny?” Fingering the long line that marred his perfect, thick hide, I posed my question as a mist of disbelief clouded my mind. Was I really having this conversation? And it was so . . . so easy. “Was she the only one?”
“No, but she was the first. When I think back on it, you’d think it’d be a terrible time for me, but a lot of good shit came from her being crazy. I got into my uncle’s family business, and I was able to get dual citizenship because my biological father was American. I was able to come here and find my place in Warpath. If my mom was sane, I might still be living in a shitty one-bedroom and being beaten for no reason. Or worse.”
“Warpath means a lot to you.” Mine wasn’t a question, but Bruiser nodded with a grumble deep in his chest. Floundering around to face him better, I rested my cheek on his thigh as I caught his eye. “Do you ever have trouble with other clubs? Gangs?”
“Hellraisers has had a beef with us since we refused to join and formed Warpath, like, nine years ago? They thought because we like to ride, we’d be down for that shit. But Spyder and I never wanted anything to do with them. That shit that happened to you was extreme, but it’s a good indicator of what they do. Hellraisers live up to their name. They’ve been causing rippling problems for a while now, for a lot of people. Not just us.” He sat back heavily, and I crawled up to straddle his waist. Bruiser stroked his chin, his thoughts racing in his fierce, blue eyes. “I’m hoping they’ll do something unforgivable to force Spyder into action or involve one of the larger clubs that’ll side with us.”
“It sounds like you’re preparing for war or something.” Shrug
ging at me, Bruiser slung his arms over my shoulders. Curiosity morphed in expression, and my brows rose in expectation. “What?”
“It sounds like you’re pretty okay with all this shit, baby. You don’t think these are huge red flags I’m wavin’ here?” My ears rang with my sister’s warnings, and I sat back on Bruiser’s knees to frown at him. “You saw it firsthand. This is dangerous shit.”
“Two months ago, I was with a guy because I wasn’t unhappy. But you make me happy, and even if you’re waving red flags. I want to be happy for once.” Bruiser’s brows knit over eyes blazing with tenderness, and a small, faltering smile picked up my lips. “It’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it? I spent until now wanting to make other people happy and not cause any problems for anyone. And then, one thing happened, and everything about me shifted.”
“It’s called growth, and growing is something to celebrate, Nicole. Standing up for yourself is something you may not have an aptitude for, but everyone’s gotta do it somehow, somewhere along the line. It kinda sucks it had to happen at your sister’s wedding, but as long as it gets done . . .” Trailing off, Bruiser shrugged, and I slipped my hands under the neck of his t-shirt to feel his muscles ripple. His palms slid down my back and under my shirt, his callouses scraping my skin. Closing my eyes, I rested my forehead against his and shivered as the intimacy of the moment prickled my eyes. “I missed you, baby.”
“Yeah. I missed you, too, Bruiser. A lot. A lot more than I thought I was gonna. I thought about it a lot, especially after I saw Jackie the other day. She said she wasn’t gonna tell me not to, but she warned me. I realized I don’t know if I even need a warning. If I told you to leave, you would, and you wouldn’t come back until I told you, you could.” My confession clogged my throat, and my lungs screamed as Bruiser locked his arms around my back to hold me close. His heartbeat hard and strong against my breast, and I buried my face in his neck to suck up his heat and smell. “I’m not gonna, though.”
