by Jessica Snow
“Good....” I whisper, before my stomach turns over, and I heave myself up and out of bed, barely getting to the small sink in my room before I start spitting up whatever's left of last night's dinner. “Ugh!”
“Are you okay?” Tauren asks, his voice not muzzied at all by sleep. Was he asleep, or does he just wake up that quickly?
“I... oh stars,” I moan, spitting up again. After sitting in my stomach all night there isn't much of dinner left, but what does come out burns my throat and nostrils as yellowish white runners of gunk hang from my mouth. “That's not sexy.”
“No, but now's not the time to worry about it,” Tauren says, coming up behind me. He wore nothing to bed, and while I'd normally be ready to jump his bones and have him take me anywhere he wants looking as good as he does, right now the only thought in my mind is that I don't want to heave again. I take deep breaths to calm my stomach, Tauren looking on worriedly the whole time. “What happened?”
“I don't know,” I admit, turning on my sink and washing the mess down the drain before getting a glass of water and swirling it around before spitting, then doing it again and again until I feel like at least my mouth doesn't feel like it's been washed in battery acid. My nose is still clogged though, and I blow multiple times into the sink and then wash out my nose as best I can. “Ugh. Once again, totally not sexy.”
“We should get you checked out,” Tauren says, going over to his clothes and pulling on his pants. “The medical bay should have some auto-docs that can scan you, we can figure it out from there. I hope it's not food poisoning, I don't think we want to deal with five hundred and thirty-three people throwing up this morning.”
“Not a good start to the day,” I admit, going to my dresser and pulling out fresh clothes. “Uh.... as great as last night was, is it safe for us to do that? Sleeping together, I mean?”
“No, but it's something that I was thinking... maybe we can tell Jensen about it,” Tauren replies, fastening his pants and pulling on his socks. “Audra, the social stigma might be more on you than me for sleeping together. I counted eight former sex slaves I spoke with last night, and that's not counting the blacksuits. A lot of the humans, they may not understand.”
I nod, rubbing my rumbling belly as I get dressed, thinking. “Tauren, I'm not ashamed of how we feel for each other. If you're not ashamed of saying you love me, then I'm willing to stand up to anyone and say that I love you.”
Tauren smiles and ties his boots, tucking the laces in and standing up, and I feel a bit more normal watching him with his tattoo showing. “Tell me, what does that mean, anyway?” I ask. “The tattoo. It seems like you only let me see it.”
“Around here, I do,” Tauren says, rubbing the ink. “I got it when I realized that I hated the idea of slavery. On Tamaria, you know, only slaves get tattoos. Not all of them, but a lot do. And it disgusted me. So I went into the Earth database that Mogar kept, and I researched my genetic background. One of the groups I have the blood of is a group called Pacific Islanders, and in their history, the tattoo was a sign of independence, of power and strength. So I had mine done.”
I nod, and go over to Tauren, lifting my upper lip. Inside, in purplish ink are nine numbers, the numbers Neyilla had put in my mouth to permanently mark me as her property. “Mine.”
He looks, seeing the ink, and shivers. “I hope they put you under for that.”
“It doesn't matter,” I reply, going back to my clothes and getting my undershirt for the day. “Anesthesia doesn't work for me. It seems that in addition to being immune to the hypnotics and the libido enhancers, anesthetics don't work on me. I can be knocked out, but under the drugs, I'm still aware of everything, even if I can't move. So I felt every needle prick. I never told Neyilla or Neyton about my drug resistance.”
“Good idea,” Tauren says, pulling his own undershirt on before sniffing. “Eh, it'll last another day. Or at least until I can get back to my quarters and change shirts.”
We finish getting dressed and leave my quarters, taking the care to make sure the hallway is clear before I wave Tauren out. We make our way to the medical bay, where there's two automatic scanners, older models but still better than the emergency hand scanners that the field kits have since they have large displays and a greater diagnostic database. The bay is empty, and when we get there Tauren has me lay down, turning on the scanner. “Okay, it'll take a minute, just hold still.”
The scanner is at least painless, the sensors doing little more than causing a strange tingling feeling in my body as it goes over me. I can't see any results, but I look at Tauren as he blinks, then his mouth drops open, shocked. “Oh heaven and stars.”
“What is it?” I ask, sitting up. “Is it bad?”
“No... um, it's not bad, it's just.... look for yourself.”
Tauren steps aside to let me see the display, and I read the information.
Patient 137465
Female
Human
185 cm
70 kg
Genetic abnormalities: Within normal human tolerances
Virus or bacteriological abnormalities: None
Physical abnormalities: Patient is 4 weeks pregnant
Do you want to save file? Y/N
I re-read it, my hand going to my belly. “Pregnant? But how?”
Tauren shakes his head, hitting the N button on the display. “I don't know.... I mean, Mogar had suspected that as humans and Tamarians spent time in the same environment, that our species would drift back towards each other, that it would maybe eventually be possible, but there's never been a case of this before that I've heard of.”
“What if.... what if it's related to my resistance to Neyton's drugs?” I ask. “It just said that I'm within normal human tolerances, whatever the hell that means.”
Tauren shrugs, then stops, turning to me and pulling me to him, holding me tight. “Thank you.”
His words ease a fear that I didn't even know I had, and I hug him back, closing my eyes. “Tauren, I'm happy to be having a baby with you. But... we can't tell anyone, not right now. Jensen might accept us seeing each other, but to have a half human, half Tamarian baby.... we'd be a target.”
“I know,” Tauren whispers. “We'll figure it out. But if worse comes to worse, I want you to have our baby.”
I nod, and give him a squeeze. “Me too. Just, this is a lot to spring on people. Let's take it slow with the public reveals?”
Tauren nods, then steps back, worry on his face. “Uh, do you know anything about how to take care of yourself before giving birth?”
I shake my head, laughing nervously. “No, do you?”
Tauren shakes his head, then rubs at his hair. “This is ridiculous. I've been tutored by the finest minds on the planet, you're educated as well, and right now I feel like some farmer's wife on the far continent is better prepared than we are.”
I nod, smiling. “That's why we invented reading, remember? I'm sure somewhere, in some database around here, we can find a book or a file on what to do. Come on, let's get some breakfast. I do know that I'm going to need to eat if we want to have a healthy baby.”
Tauren nods, and we go to breakfast, meeting up with Jensen, who looks better than he has in weeks. We don't say anything to Jensen about my pregnancy, but I am touched when Tauren surreptitiously slides me an extra slice of ham from his plate, along with his glass of juice. It's not a lot, and I can see in his eyes the worry after Jensen leaves, I'm sure I'm showing him as much as well, but it's the little things like that which help reassure me. I help him out by sliding him my coffee, I remember reading somewhere that pregnant women shouldn't drink too much caffeine. Then again, I'm not sure what pregnant women are supposed to do with army field rations either. Aren't the chemicals they use in those things not good for children or something?
“Okay,” Tauren says as he finishes his second cup of coffee and stands up. “I'm going to help the recruits. I'll talk with you later. Have a good morning.”
“You too,” I say faux casually, but inside, my stomach turns again. I'm not worried about throwing up again, but I am worried about the new life in my belly. Pregnant, in the middle of a Resistance that might become a Rebellion. Heaven and stars.
Chapter Eighteen
Tauren
Pregnant.
She's pregnant, with our baby. My baby, who carries in him the genetic lineage to the throne of Tamaria. The first of his kind, a baby that carries in it both human and Tamarian DNA.
Okay, so I've known for just over two hours, and I'm already thinking of the baby as a he. I'd like to have a son. I can accept that.
I wonder if he's going to be pink, or will he have my ears? Hmmm... pink with red hair like Audra, that'd look good on a little girl too....
“Hey, Tauren!”
I look up, seeing Jensen giving me a puzzled look. I'm supposed to be here working with the recruits, going over unit movement and defense against units armed with Gauss weaponry, but to be honest, I've been totally in my head this whole time. “Oh, sorry. I was daydreaming for a moment. What's up?”
Jensen points towards the command center of the base. “Just got notified, your father's on the comm system for you. It seems you've got your answer.”
I grin, getting up from my squat and dust off my hands, looking at the recruits who are giving me looks of mixed eagerness, anticipation, and worry. I can understand, for them, this is starting to get real, and they'd like to not have to get shot at if they can help it.
“Let's go then,” I say, forcing the cheer into my voice. I haven't even figured out how to tell Jensen that Audra and I are seeing each other, how am I supposed to deal with that, Father, and a baby too? As Audra would say, heaven and stars help me.
I follow Jensen through the base to the command center, where a hastily strung up bed sheet prevents the monitor from seeing much. It's low tech, probably thousands of years old, but it works. I sit down in the chair, and look over at Jensen, who nods. “Put him on.”
Father appears on the monitor, his face looking about a decade older than he was a few months ago when we were heading to the Blood Moon Games. “Father. Have you stopped the life extension drugs?”
“Stress and betrayal will do that to you,” Father says. “Why are you doing this, Tauren? I thought I raised you better than this.”
“You have raised me to be a strong and intelligent man, Father. That's why I'm here with these people.”
Father shifts around, and I can tell that whatever he's doing, he's being joined by others. Well then, so am I, I can't expect privacy on this. “So Joren, King of Tamaria out of Harlei by Jaxsin, to what do I owe this pleasure?”
Father glowers, he hates being reminded of his lineage, my grandmother was not a kind woman. Finally, he clears his throat and speaks. “I've called to ask for parlay.”
“Parlay? What is there to discuss that cannot be discussed over this video link right now?” I ask, leaning back in my chair. I can't let Father think I'm concerned, this should come off as casual as a discussion of the weather, or music trends in the capital.
“I want to confirm it is actually you, and not some computer generated impostor,” Father says. “If I've been betrayed by my own son, I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you're doing what you're threatening.”
I nod, shrugging. “Fine. What are the terms you'd meet under parlay?”
“Come to the royal palace and....”
“No.”
The word hangs heavy in the air, and Father blinks, shocked that I'd not only refuse him, but cut him off. I've disagreed with him in my life, I've argued with him, but I've never cut him off before. Still, I have the advantage, and Father knows it. As long as he values the good will of the people, he'll grant me some leeway. “Fine. What would you propose?”
“I send you a location. You have exactly one hour after reception to meet me there. We both show up, one small landing party each. Hell, I'll even let you bring some guards with you, say... two? We talk, we exchange our views, and then we leave. All guards are unarmed, of course.”
“Of course. On one condition,” Father says. “I want you to include this Jensen in your group. He might be just a human, but I admire his.... gumption.”
“Then you bring Mogar. I want to see that he's healthy, and not under the influence of any drugs or torture. You do that, I'll bring Jensen.”
I can see Jensen in the background, he doesn't like it, but he understands. I can't just turn to looking off screen, I've declared myself the representative of the Resistance to the nobles. If I come off looking weak, I'm not going to be taken seriously. Father holds my gaze for a bit, then nods. “Fine. When can I expect a landing site?”
“Soon. I'll discuss sites with my friends, and get back to you.”
Father looks hurt at my choice of words, and swallows. “Why, Tauren? Why?”
I take a deep breath, looking down for a moment before talking to my father not as King, but just man to man. “For Tamaria, Father. Because I want to see our planet grow strong enough to face the challenges we both know are coming to this world. But most importantly, because it's the right thing to do. The Resistance will send you a message as soon as we've picked a site.”
I cut the communication, and look over at Jensen. “We need to pick a site quickly. The more time we give Father and the nobles to prepare, the greater a trap we're walking into.”
“Why'd you not say just one on one?” Jensen asks, and I shake my head. “What?”
“Father knows I could kill him hand to hand easily. He also knows that there's no way I'd actually believe him if he showed up supposedly alone, he'd have at least a squad of Royal Lancers ready to spring a trap. So by allowing him to have some bodyguards, he knows I'm not a fool.”
Jensen nods, then turns to the rest of the control center. “Okay people, we need options, and we need them in five minutes!”
There's a buzz of activity, and Jensen comes over, patting me on the shoulder. “You know I'm putting my life in your hands.”
“We're both doing that,” I reply. Just then, Audra comes up, her face resolute. “No way, Audra.”
“Go to the stars, Tauren. I'm coming with you guys,” she says, looking at Jensen and I. “Now, in the four minutes left before you make a decision as to where to hold this, are we going to fill Jensen in or not?”
“In the office,” I say, causing Jensen to give us a confused look. “Trust me on this one.”
We lead Jensen into the office, closing and locking the door behind us. Jensen turns, and looks at Audra and I. “Okay, what's the deal?”
“Tauren and I are seeing each other,” Audra says simply, crossing her arms over her chest. “I love him, Jensen.”
Jensen blinks, looking from Audra to me, then Audra again before settling on me. “Well? You got anything to add to this?”
I nod. “Yes. I love her as well.”
Jensen sighs, then looks down. “I'm disappointed in the two of you. Not for falling in love, I have no problems with that. For hiding it from me, for not trusting me with this information. If you two are saying you love each other, this has been going on a while. Either I'm a total idiot for not noticing, or you're doing an amazing job of hiding it from everyone, and I don't think I'm that much of an idiot.”
I feel abashed, and I can see on Audra's face she feels the same way. “Jensen, you're not angry that Tauren and I...?”
“Fell in love?” Jensen asks, sitting on the edge of the desk. “No. I never told you guys, and nobody in the Resistance really knows about it, but for a while there I was seeing a Tamarian woman, one of Mogar's Resistance contacts. I thought she was quite beautiful. So while I understand why you wouldn't want it made public knowledge, I can't hate you for it. But we will discuss this later, after the parlay. Come on, the command center's got to have some options by now.”
Jensen leaves the office, and I turn to Audra, who's still looking at me with fire in her eyes. “Well, that went easier t
han I thought it would.”
She nods, but crosses her arms over her chest again. “I'm still coming with you. I won't risk my love and my brother without my ass being in the sling too.”
I can see the stubbornness in her eyes, and while I want to argue with her, I also don't want to. It is this strength, this passion that ignites the fires within me, and I know that if I refuse her now, it'd be a sign of disrespect to the woman that I love. “Okay. Just... be careful.”
“You too. You're the one who's going to be facing down your father and a bunch of Lancers.”
The sun is coming up behind us as we land in the field, halfway across the main continent in the middle of a large open field, our single transport shuttle already warm from the desert surrounding us.
“Why'd you pick here?” Audra asks, putting on sunglasses. “It's a wasteland.”
“Exactly,” I reassure her. “This way, Joren's going to be reassured that nobody's laying a trap for him, while we at the same time are reassured that he's not trying to send in the cavalry on us. The nearest terrain feature is ten kilometers away, that's a good pad.”
“Not perfect though,” Jensen reminds me. “A good man with a Gauss sniper rifle could put a round through our shuttle without a problem.”
Rebbie, who is currently in command of the camp as they do an emergency relocation to the woods near the missile base, sounds off in our ears. “Do not tell me that, people. I'm gonna need you all to bring your happy little asses back to the woods, I'm not cut out for this running the camp sort of thing.”
“You just worry about getting everyone scattered and down in the woods,” Jensen reassures Rebbie. “If something hits the fan, you scatter everyone, you know what to do. Just keep an ear out.”
We step out of the transport, which we leave open, stepping out onto the hardpan of the desert. It's not a sandy desert, it's a baked hard desert with summer temperatures that aren't healthy for anything for a large amount of time, but in this early spring time aren't too bad. I look around, and even at this hour the sun is bright. It puts me in a reflective mood, one I'm not used to feeling. “You know, when the first ship landed, much of the planet was like this?”
