“I want to be happy about that.” But that led her right back to the question she kept avoiding. The file and the answer and Gabe. She decided to stall. “So, you and Andy?”
Eli shook his head. “A long time ago.”
But she knew all about it. She’d tracked Eli’s private life back then, slim as it was. That had been part of her job, and she knew he’d left Andy reeling. “Did you clean up your mess?”
“I think I finally did.”
She felt a stab of regret for Andy. Now that her heart was involved with Gabe the complications doubled. Investment and caring only led to confusion as far as she could see. “Then I guess I’m not the only one who will be moving on.”
Eli handed her the file. “That probably depends on what you decide to do with this.”
She took it because Andy and Gabe headed their way. The door opened and they both appeared on the patio. Andy more muted than usual and Gabe looking satisfied and in control. The man sure understood the concept of being the king of his castle and carried it through his broad shoulders.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
When she just stood there not really sure what to say and overwhelmed as usual by Gabe being so close, Eli jumped in. “I gave Natalie a status report. Looks like we almost have a deal that will keep her safe.”
Gabe frowned. “Again. That’s what Bast hoped the last time.”
“There’s that,” Eli admitted. “But when Bast started actually reading from one of the leverage files during the last meeting that seemed to get everyone’s attention. It became much harder for the group at the table to deny the existence of the intel.”
“I like his style.” She’d been grumpy about people stepping in and hiring Gabe, and Bast taking over her case. Those days everything had whipped around her. The loss of control left her dazed and fighting mad. But Bast had followed through on every promise, even the one where he said she’d grow to trust Gabe.
“Soon, your normal life can start.” Eli’s gaze dropped to the file in her hand then back to her face.
She tried to skate right over that. “Right.”
“Andy?” Eli put his hand on the door handle. “Time for the blindfold and—”
Gabe waved him off. “It’s fine. You don’t need the cover to get in and out. You can see where you are.”
The comment shocked her. “Really?”
“I trust Eli.” Gabe didn’t add any flowery words or descriptions. He put it out there and that said he meant it.
“I appreciate that.” Eli shook Gabe’s hand then turned to her again. “You get a message to me if you need me.”
She knew he talked half in code. If she pulled the trigger on the information in the file and her world tilted, Eli would rush in and help. The idea of a safety net in the form of another person never appealed to her. She preferred to handle things on her own. But this was different. This drove to the heart of a very personal matter, and she appreciated everything from his discretion to his support.
She nodded. “I will.”
As she slipped back inside she watched Eli walk next to Andy to the front door with a healthy bit of space between them. At first they didn’t talk then Andy said something that had them both laughing. She didn’t want to know what.
She passed the file from one hand to the other. Leaned against the back of the couch and ran through Eli’s warnings. Backing down from being sure about a course of action was not really in her skill set. She knew how to assess new facts, but the problem remained. The contents in the file and how she went about securing it could drive Gabe away, and she was desperate to keep him close.
She heard Gabe shut and lock the door behind her. A second later his body pressed against hers, his front to her back, and his mouth went to her hair.
She thought about how much they’d both changed in such a short time. He opened his house to her and now widened his trust circle to include Eli. Big steps for a man who proclaimed to be stuck in his ways and fine with that. “You like Eli. Admit it.”
“He apologized to Andy.”
It made sense Gabe would care about that part. Want to see his brother put back together again. She loved his family loyalty. “How is he?”
“Better.”
She didn’t press because Andy’s private life was just that. But Gabe most definitely counted as her business. “Well, you were very impressive.”
“You know what’s impressive . . .” Gabe’s palm traveled down her stomach to settle on the fly of her jeans.
The man did enjoy sex. He mixed it with talking and sharing. A sort of intimacy she’d never really experienced. So much deeper than the act. “I doubt Andy is even in his car yet.”
“He knows better than to barge into my house. Usually an alarm would trip, but this time he’d face my wrath, which is much worse.” Gabe slipped the file from her clenched fist and balanced it on the back of the couch. Then his fingers slipped through hers.
At the crinkling sound of the paper her gaze went to the still-sealed envelope, abandoned there but sitting so close. “Good, because we should really talk about something.”
His mouth traveled to her ear and his tongue licked around the outer rim. “Getting you naked.”
“Before that.” Because if he kept touching her, all that would matter would be touching him back.
“Kissing your neck.”
“Gabe . . . I . . .” She let her head fall back against his shoulder as his tongue tickled her sensitive skin. “Man, that feels good.”
With a flick of two fingers he opened the top button of her jeans. “It’s only the start.”
“I need—”
His fingers slipped behind the zipper and skimmed down the outside of her underwear. “Me.”
Now, it had to be now. She couldn’t sit on the information. That would make everything worse. She had to drag it out or forget it. There wasn’t a middle ground, and her good sense kept blinking out as need took over.
“Okay, look.” She forced her hands to let go of his and turned around. Still in the cocoon of his arms, she looked up and stared into those dark eyes. “I need my brain functioning, and when you touch me that can’t happen.”
His mouth flattened into a thin line and tension pulled at his eyes. “If this is about leaving, don’t say it.”
She actually had to shake her head. She’d been racing down one road and he was . . . where the hell was he? “What?”
“Eli comes in here and says you’re about to get the green light on your future, and now you want to have a big talk.” With his hands on her hips, Gabe pulled her in closer. “I don’t want to hear about you moving on.”
They’d gone off track. Leaving was the dead last thing on her mind. Her drive to stay with him kept pulling at her to do the right thing and fess up. To give him an answer he might not want but one he needed so he could prepare. “I didn’t say that.”
His fingers tightened on her. “But it’s coming, right?”
“You’ve been nice about—”
“Jesus, Natalie. I am not nice.”
She didn’t know how to respond to a guy who got ticked off at being told he was a good guy. “Okay.”
“The talk I gave you about staying here for your safety is bullshit.” He swore under his breath. Shook his head. Looked as if he had a battle going on inside him and was trying to fight through it. “Well, not completely, but that’s not really where my head was when I made the offer.”
She touched him then. Ran her hand along his jaw because he seemed like he needed comfort. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“I want you to stay for me, Nat. I want you safe, sure, but this is way more selfish than that. I want you to be here with me.”
Her mind went blank. Every argument and thought shuddered to a halt in her head. “Gabe.”
“Yeah, it’s too fast and maybe a little stupid. I don’t give a damn.” He wrapped his arms around her. For a second he leaned his forehead against hers but the
n he lifted it again and stared down at her with an expression that looked suspiciously like worry. “You being here, sleeping beside you. God, Natalie, it means everything to me.”
“You want—”
He exhaled, long and loud and full of pent-up something. “I want you to stay so that we can figure out what’s happening between us. I want that future you’re considering to include me.”
The words sputtered inside of her. Here she was thinking about covert actions in his personal life, and he was offering her a chance that amounted to more than a few rounds of good sex. She shouldn’t want the opportunity or crave it so much, but she did. From the start her feelings for him had only intensified.
Still, she had to be smart. That protective wall she erected so long ago couldn’t just crash down with a gentle push. It needed to be bulldozed, and it scared her that he might have that kind of strength and staying power. “This started out as sex.”
“Sex and protection.”
Even that much had been a violation of her personal rule and, honestly, of his. “Nothing more.”
He frowned. Looked as if he were preparing for a body blow. “Can you truly say that’s all it is now?”
She thought about how he smelled and how he smiled. How good it felt to lie in bed and run her hands over him. Not just for sex. The getting to know him part.
She should lie and stand firm. Not let the toughness slip . . . but looking into those eyes, so full of genuine feeling, and knowing the leaning of her own heart she couldn’t cut the ties and walk away. “No, it’s a lot more.”
His hands cupped her cheeks now, as if he willed her to believe every word. “Then understand that while I do want you safe and I’ve never forgotten my job is to protect you, the man—not the protector or the president of a security company—the actual man, is hoping you want to stay for him.”
If she hadn’t been falling for him before that moment, that comment would have sent her flying over the edge. His honesty sealed her fate.
She treated him to a quick kiss and pulled back before he could take it deeper. “For a guy who doesn’t say many words, when you do you sure pick the right ones.”
His frown disappeared. “Is that a yes?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and let the unexpected sensation of lightness wash through her. “Yes.”
“We’re definitely getting naked now.” His hands moved to her back and started wandering.
The friction of her body rubbing against his had her thinking about his bed and how much she loved it when he balanced his elbows on either side of her and hovered above her. “No question.”
“What’s that?” He nodded toward the envelope.
Her gaze slipped to it and guilt nagged at her. She’d open it later. She’d peek inside and find the answer because that’s who she was. She didn’t let clues get by her. And armed with the information she might be able to ease his pain or push him toward a test she knew would make his world better. But all that came later. “Something I thought I needed.”
His hands slid down her back making a beeline for her ass. “And now?”
She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his upper thighs. “I need you.”
TWENTY-SIX
Rick had the power to turn a day to shit.
Gabe got the call that his big brother hit the road from D.C. and was on the way. Andy jumped in the car to act as a potential referee, if needed. At least that’s what his text said. A few minutes ago the house alarm chirped and Gabe buzzed the far gate to let them in. Now he had to wait it out. See what was so urgent Rick insisted on a face-to-face meeting here, where Gabe never conducted business with Rick.
As if Gabe didn’t know.
He’d spent last night all over Natalie, barely letting her rest so he could forget the nightmare closing in. He’d settled one part of his life. Actually found a woman he cared about to the point where he wanted to change his life to make room for her. He’d been in her, over her, under her. There wasn’t an inch of her body he didn’t know better than his own.
She’d traced every scar on his chest and back and asked for the story behind each injury. With how he felt about her, the level of trust he’d developed so damn fast, he didn’t hold back. He gave the details he could without violating confidences. They’d only been out of bed and dressed for a half hour, which matched up perfectly with the time of Andy’s warning text.
He heard her footsteps on the stairs and glanced up. She wore jeans and a long-sleeve V-neck tee. This morning she had her hair up and off her face. So beautiful without makeup. Real to the bone.
But something else lingered there. Gone was the sure woman who knew what she wanted last night. Her steps seemed tentative, as if she expected something terrible brewed.
He hated pulling her into the middle of his family battle but it seemed shitty to cut her out or pretend he wouldn’t spill later anyway. That’s what he did with her. For the first time, he opened up. He shared intimate details and his greatest fear. He knew she wanted to help when she suggested he might want to think about the DNA test, but he’d shut that line of thinking down because he couldn’t find his way through the haze of denial that had fallen around him.
Fucking Rick.
When he saw her hesitate on the last step, not coming into the great room with him, he wondered if her apprehension covered more than Rick. After all, they’d turned a huge corner last night. He went from offering her a sanctuary to offering her more.
He wasn’t being nice when he said she should stay. Shit, what had that been about? No, he was being selfish. For once, reaching out and asking for something for himself—her. Them together, working this out and looking toward a future.
But with her past and her anti-commitment walls stacked even thicker than his, he understood how he could have shaken her up. In the light of day he might not seem as great a catch. “You okay?”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “Should I stay upstairs while you talk with Rick?”
So, that was it. While she might want to avoid the discomfort, truth was he needed her in the room. It might take her and Andy to keep Rick alive.
“No. I want you here.” Gabe held out a hand to her and felt a wave of relief surge through him when she grabbed on.
She stepped to his side and sighed when he wrapped an arm around her. “Is this about Brandon?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” But he had a sneaky suspicion Rick’s patience had worn out.
“This might be battleground day.” If the anxiety pounding his insides was any indication, yes.
“We should talk about—”
The sound of Andy typing in the code rang out in steady chirps. Then the door opened, and his brothers walked in with a burst of cool air. Gabe thought that might be an omen.
“Ms. Udall.” Rick nodded his hello.
“You can call me Natalie.”
“Okay then.” Andy rocked back on his heels before walking around Rick and taking a seat on the armrest of the couch. “Now that we have the pleasant part out of the way.”
“Your attorney has made his displeasure known. My clients are pulling back.” Rick held out a thick white envelope to Natalie.
She just stared at it. “Shouldn’t my attorney be the one handing me any necessary documents?”
“In here is a copy of my termination letter and the stated reason why the matter was settled.” She took it and Rick dropped his arm. “Bast should be calling soon, or however you communicate, but I thought you’d like to see the copies of the affidavits and other documents Bast sent to the people who hired me. I can’t believe your old bosses will sign them, but you, and by extension Bast, do have the leverage.”
Gabe wasn’t convinced. He’d played games with these types before. They said one thing and did another, just like they had with Natalie’s original agreement. They dug for loopholes and called things by new names. Did anything to get out from under the restrictions they’d already agreed to, and when that didn’t wor
k they violated the terms with impunity.
For Natalie’s sake, Gabe needed to know if this just ushered in a new round. “Are your people ending this in fact or pretending to?”
Rick spared him a brief glance. “Bast doesn’t exactly play fair.”
“You can’t when someone is holding a gun to your head,” Andy said.
Natalie tapped the envelope against her open palm. “So, this means the bounty on my head has been lifted.”
“There never was one.” Rick looked at them all. Met their eyes. “My job was to check on you.”
“Come on.” No way did Gabe buy that. From the way Andy shook his head, it didn’t look like he did either.
“Follow and watch. That was the entirety of my orders.”
Except that he had the green light to extricate Natalie or take her down if he saw anything to suggest she was breaking the agreement. That’s how these things worked, no matter what Rick tried to sell. The way he lied about it without blinking worried Gabe. They all possessed the skill but didn’t turn it loose on family. Rick didn’t operate with that caveat. He treated everyone with the same level of detachment.
Gabe knew he should let it drop. They’d talk with Bast and sort it all out. Until then, the best way to handle Rick was quick, in and out. But the tension whipping around inside him called for a bigger response. He’d let so much slide. Heard every new piece of information from Rick and tamped as much of the outward hostility down inside as possible. All for Brandon’s sake.
But he wasn’t here now, so Gabe let the leash on his anger slip. “You get a good show following us?”
Natalie froze, and Andy made a strangled sound.
“It was either me or someone who would pull the trigger without warning if the mission directive changed.” Rick kept on justifying and explaining. Telling his side in a packaged way that sounded like truth but came off as one more piece of blowhard bullshit.
“You’re saying you would have disobeyed the direction from your client?” Andy shook his head. “No way.”
Rick continued to stand there with his arms stiff at his sides and his posture perfect. More robotic than human. “I would have warned Gabe.”
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