by Monica James
Eleven
The next morning, I’m sitting at my kitchen counter, nursing my second cup of coffee. It’s black thanks to Saxon drinking all the milk and putting the empty carton back into the fridge, giving the illusion we had milk—one of his many habits I’ve grown to accept.
I slept like utter crap, and have no doubt my unruly appearance reflects it. Sophia is due to be here at ten, but honestly, I don’t even know if Sam will see her. I used to be able to read him like a book. But now, he may as well be written in Chinese.
“Hello? Anyone home? I bear gifts of the food kind.” Piper’s happy voice lifts my spirits and I unlatch the backdoor.
The moment she sees me, she frowns. “What’s wrong, Luce?”
Looking down at her tray of Krispy Kremes, I reach for them and sigh. “Let’s talk about this while I overdose on sugar.”
She doesn’t argue.
I pour her a cup of coffee while she hops up onto the counter, watching me closely. “So, spill. What happened? I thought I’d come over and you’d be floating in a post-coitus bubble.”
I scoff, passing her some coffee. “Hardly. The only coitus was Sam screwing me over by stealing my car, being MIA for half the night, then showing up in a police car after being kicked out of a strip club, drunk and disorderly. Oh, and he lost my car.”
Piper’s mouth hangs open, a look of utter disbelief on her face. “No!”
“Yes,” I affirm. “I couldn’t make this stuff up.”
“This is messed up.”
“Tell me about it. Then I yelled at Saxon for no apparent reason other than the fact he’s Saxon,” I confess, slumping onto the stool and rummaging through the box of donuts. “When did my life turn to shit?”
Piper looks stunned, which makes me feel even worse. I need one of her wise ass cracks. I need her to tell me this is going to be okay. But she can’t. What she can offer me is some comic relief. “What a dickface. Where is he now?”
Tearing into my pastry, I reveal, “In the barn. Apparently he’d rather sleep beside our farm animals because they don’t talk back.”
“That fucking dickface!” she exclaims, slamming her mug onto the counter. “I get he’s having a hard time, but seriously, this is getting out of control. He’s making the old, smart ass Sam look like a saint.”
“I know.” I sigh, my mouth stuffed full. “Sophia is coming over at ten. Let’s hope she can try to find my fiancé under the layers of asshole he’s currently buried under because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this bullshit. I’m trying to be patient, understanding, but enough is enough.”
As Piper’s mouth moves from side to side in contemplation, I’m almost afraid to ask what she’s thinking, but I suck it up and ask. “What, Pipe?”
“Your patience is unbelievable, and you deserve some kind of a medal for putting up with his crap, but what if he never remembers, Luce? What if he’s stuck being this gigantic dickhole forever? He was a little arrogant before, but this just takes it to another level.”
“That’s a lot of what ifs. Ones I can’t accept right now.” I scratch my fingernail over the handle of the mug. “I have to believe that he’ll remember, Piper. If I don’t…” I don’t need to finish my sentence as she understands me clearly.
We chew in pensive silence, not needing any words to convey how we feel.
“Mornin’.”
Saxon’s arrival is exactly the distraction Piper needs. I, on the other hand, cringe and sink further into my seat. As he walks through the kitchen, making a beeline for the coffee, I can’t help but admire his good looks. My admiration of his freshly washed hair, white fitted t-shirt, and ripped blue jeans which hug all the right places has me thinking about our weird adrenalin punch last night.
One minute we were talking and the next I was questioning if my hand was on fire. I don’t understand it. His confident, cocky touch is so unlike Samuel’s, which is probably a good thing, seeing as he’s not my fiancé.
“You sleep okay?”
His gravel coated voice snaps me from my thoughts. “Yeah, fine,” I lie, meeting his lucid stare over the rim of his raised mug. Wisps of hair cover his left eye, the guise appearing as if he’s guarding a secret.
Is he angry at me? He has every right to be. I lashed out last night, and he didn’t deserve it. With that thought in mind, I push the box of sugar his way. “The pink ones are my favorite.” He peers down at the box, grinning when he observes the lone pink donut surrounded by a sea of other colors.
I can’t ignore this peace offering is similar to one that he offered me a few weeks ago. It appears we both need sugary goodness on hand to pardon our behavior towards each other.
He reaches for the pink frosted donut with colorful sprinkles, licking the gooey icing from his fingers. However, he surprises me as he passes it to me. I accept, as I would never turn down such an offering.
“You said they were your favorite,” he explains when I continue staring at him. I can’t help but smirk as he then reaches for the yellow frosted one.
“Let’s throw a party,” Piper announces, breaking my gaze. When I cringe, she playfully wiggles her finger at me. “You said yes.”
“I know, but that was before all of this—” I motion with my pointer around the room “—happened.”
“What happened?” a croaky voice from behind me says. Does he not remember last night?
Piper stops chewing as she looks over my shoulder, not bothering to hide her distaste at Samuel’s appearance. “Did you enjoy your stay in the barn? You sure as hell smell like you slept amongst the animals. Or maybe that’s your natural stench.”
“Piper!” I scold, my ponytail striking like a whip as I turn to face her. I play facial charades, begging her to stop.
She stops, but does a poor job at hiding her scowl. And Saxon does a poor job at hiding his lopsided grin.
When Sam rounds the counter, I suppress the urge to yell at him and be the bigger person. “Coffee?” He looks like utter shit in his crumpled clothes, snarled hair, and dark rings under his eyes. It appears we both slept like crap.
He nods while peering into the box of donuts. “Thanks.”
I steady my hand as I pour his cup of coffee. His reply is better than a ‘fuck you.’ Maybe he’s woken up on the right side of the bale. One can only hope.
When I pass him his coffee, I can’t help but notice Saxon standing off to the side, leaning against the counter as he quietly sips his coffee. Is he waiting for an apology from Sam? I know I owe him one, and I realize Sam owes us both one— actually, he owes us many. His behavior yesterday was really shitty, and then there’s the fact of where exactly my car is.
But all of that can wait until after he’s had his session with Sophia.
“So, party?” Piper says, cutting through the silence.
Just as I’m about to object once again, Sam’s expression has me zipping my lips. “What party?”
“Thanks to your amnesia taking up everyone’s life…” I close my eyes, shaking my head at Piper’s tactlessness. “We have forgotten what fun is. No pun intended,” she adds, waving off her comment. “So, I suggest we have a party to remind us.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Sam replies, a smile lighting up his face. “Who are you, by the way?”
Piper shrugs, not at all offended. “We’re arch enemies. Quite frankly, I hate your guts right now.” Saxon’s laugh gets lost within the walls of his mug as he chokes on his coffee.
“She’s joking,” I amend, widening my eyes at Piper, telling her to quit it.
“No, I’m really not,” she argues sarcastically. Sam doesn’t seem offended, so I let it go.
With the party apparently going ahead, I decide to get ready as its already 9:30 and Sophia will be here soon. The problem is, how do I tell Samuel? I can’t be sure if he remembers Sophia penciling in this appointment. It wasn’t like he wrote it down or seemed remotely interested in the prospect of her seeing him after he was discharged.
I can sense yet another argument brewing.
Gulping down my coffee, I rinse my cup off in the sink, hoping someone will get the hint that it’s time we all move. It shouldn’t surprise me that that someone is Saxon. It appears he can read me a lot better than I thought he could.
“What time is Sophia coming over?” he asks casually.
“Ten o’clock,” I reply, looking at Sam. I breathe a sigh of relief when he doesn’t throw his mug against the wall in protest.
“Sam, go take a shower. You smell like shit,” Saxon says, half joking.
I hold my breath, afraid World War Three is about to erupt in my kitchen. I’m stunned when Sam flips him off, but nods. “Fuck you, pretty boy. Are you sure you didn’t use up all the hot water washing your hair?”
Piper snorts, muting her outburst behind her hand.
I am so relieved at their banter, as opposed to them cursing one another out like last night. It’s these small snippets that have me not giving up on Sam. Underneath his anger lies the man I know and love. Here’s hoping Sophia can bring him back to me.
Sam finishes his coffee and places the mug in the dishwasher. The simple gesture has me smiling. I want him to feel like this is his home again, and small things like this will help make that happen. He bumps Saxon playfully before walking down the hall. I refrain from asking if he needs directions to the bathroom as I’m trying not to smother him.
“So when is our epic party going to take place?” Piper asks, wiggling her eyebrows wickedly.
“I know that look, Piper Green,” I reply, unable to keep the smirk from my face.
“What look?” She fakes innocence, but I’m not fooled.
“When I say party, I don’t mean frat party, okay? Piper?” I press when she whistles and looks anywhere but at me. “Piper?”
Meeting my eyes, she grins. “Okay, I gotcha. Loud and clear. No frat party. What about a keg party?”
Saxon chuckles while I roll my eyes. This is a losing battle. A knock on the front door interrupts all talks of parties.
“This conversation is not yet finished,” I tease, pointing at my conspiring friend.
“Bring it on,” she replies, cocking out her hip.
I leave Piper shuffling closer to an unsuspecting Saxon. Poor guy.
As I walk down the hall, the glassed panel reveals that Sophia is standing at my front door. She’s early, which makes me happy. She’s just as keen as I am to get this show on the road.
“Hi, Dr. Yates.” When she purses her red lips, I amend, “Sorry. Sophia.”
She smiles. “Good morning, Lucy. I hope you don’t mind that I’m a bit early.”
“No, not at all. Please, come in.” I open the door and step aside.
She enters, looking like a complete runway model in tight blue jeans, red ankle boots, and a white silk blouse. Her black hair is tied back into a neat bun, exposing her natural beauty. Her beauty reminds me of my lack at the moment. I try and tame my bird nest, but the snarled strands protest and resist any grooming. I give up.
“How’s Samuel?” she asks, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“He’s okay,” I reply half-heartedly, closing the door.
“Just okay?” She reads through my bullshit instantly.
Not wanting Sam to overhear, I lower my voice as we walk down the hall. “Well, he’s still moody, and he still hates me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I reply, grateful for her efforts at attempting to play this down.
“We hurt the ones we love,” she offers kindly.
I want to believe her, but I would be naïve if I didn’t at least acknowledge the truth. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but Sam doesn’t remember me, therefore he doesn’t remember that he loves me. I like to think that a small part of him does, but lately, I’m not so sure.” I’m proud I’m able to hold it together without bursting into tears.
I’m thankful when she doesn’t give me false promises, or tell me that everything will be all right.
We walk into the kitchen, interrupting Piper fawning over Saxon and his tattoos. The moment we enter, Saxon looks incredibly guilty, while Piper looks like all of her dreams have come true. He subtly removes his arm from her hold.
“Hey, Doc.” When he addresses Sophia, I notice she tugs at her pearl earring.
“Hello, Saxon. It’s lovely to see you again.” Her customary confident voice wavers slightly, giving away her nerves.
I noticed their exchange at the hospital was also a little awkward, but didn’t think much of it as I had other pressing matters to deal with, like trying to understand why my fiancé didn’t remember me. But now that I’m not swimming in tears, I recognize this display as Sophia being into Saxon. Not that I can blame her—he’s gorgeous.
I admire his ripped, muscled body, appreciating the way his tanned skin draws out the blond in his unkempt hair. His eyes are exceptional, the green swirling amongst different shades of blue and gray. But brilliant color aside, his eyes display a man with convictions.
His tattoos, which I’ve yet to fully make sense of, are vibrant and colorful, giving him that harder edge that Samuel lacks. Saxon is the quintessence of what a bad boy entails, and Samuel is, or used to be the total flip side of that coin.
I don’t realize I’m staring until Saxon’s lips twitch. The movement highlights the scar—another angle which screams revolt. I suddenly have an urge to run my finger over the smooth edges.
“Hey, Doc.” Samuel’s exact greeting for Sophia has me snapping out of my completely inappropriate and improper thoughts. I have no idea where they came from, but they need to go back there and never resurface ever, ever again.
I guiltily look over at Sam, who looks a little more like himself now that he’s shaved and thrown on an old basketball t-shirt. For once, I’m pleased he doesn’t acknowledge me, as he’s oblivious to my raging internal war.
“Hello, Samuel. How are you feeling?” Sophia asks, while I sneak over to Piper, who looks at me inquisitively.
“I’m fine,” he replies with a carefree shrug.
Sophia nods, her smile pleasant. “Lucy, may I use your study to conduct our session today?”
“Of course. Would you like me to show you where it is?”
Sophia’s smile never falters. “No, it’s okay. Samuel, I’m sure you can lead the way?”
I’m about to point out that Sam hasn’t ventured into that part of the house yet, but keep quiet as I know what she’s doing. It’s ingenious really.
The hesitation is reflected on Sam’s face for a split second before he pulls back his shoulders proudly and nods. No man, especially someone as proud as Sam, wants to admit defeat. She’s forcing him to revert back to those memories that are locked behind closed doors. They may stumble along the way, but that’s what she’s here for—to pick him up when he falls.
Sam looks in the direction of the hallway and then briefly at me. He’s asking for guidance and the gesture warms my heart. I nod with a small smile. He leads the way with Sophia following, but not before she sends a flirty smile Saxon’s way. It’s not in any way sleazy. It’s a subtle suggestion to show him that she’s interested. And by the way he smiles back, I dare say he’s interested too. I can’t help but think their kids would be freaking supermodels.
“The back pasture is looking a little overgrazed. Do you want me to move the cattle?”
Saxon’s kind offer reminds me that there are chores to do around here. My life has been put on pause, but it’s time to press the play button. “That would be great. Thank you. Take your pick of where you want to put them. Just mind the field with the red fencing. There’s a hole in the fence line.”
“No worries. If I’m staying a while, I better earn my keep.” His innocent comment has me beaming.
How long he’ll be here hasn’t really been discussed, and I didn’t want to presume. But now that he’s addressed the big fat elephant in the room
, I couldn’t be happier. “Well, in that case, you can make dinner,” I tease, although I’m not kidding, as I hate cooking.
“Seems fair,” he replies with a grin. “I make a mean enchilada.”
I cock an eyebrow playfully. “Awesome, ’cause I have a mean appetite for Mexican. And it’s even meaner when I’m not cooking it.”
Saxon chuckles, shaking his head at my cheek. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”
The moment the backdoor closes, Piper curses. “That bitch.”
Of course I know who she’s talking about. I’m unable to wipe the smile from my face. “You have competition, my friend. And hot competition at that.”
“She’s not that hot,” she interjects, but scowls a moment later. “Okay, fine, she’s a freaking goddess, but she’s too stuck up for Saxon. I mean, look at him and look at her.”
That clears my smile as I was looking, perhaps too intently only minutes ago. “Looks like you’re just going to have to stay for dinner and show Saxon why you’re the better match.”
Piper pulls up her sleeves with determination. “Damn straight I will. You don’t mind if I hang around? I’ve got the day off work.” Piper manages The Gap at our local mall. She’s also studying interior design at the community college.
“Not at all. The past few weeks have been a nightmare. It’ll be nice to actually do normal things like feeding my horses and wash my car.” My sentence dies in my throat however when I realize I don’t have a car to wash. “Scrap that. My normalcy can commence after I find my car.”
As I reach for the phone, ready to call the police, Piper latches onto my wrist and smiles. “You’re a brave, strong woman, Lucy Tucker. Don’t ever forget it.”
“Thank you, Piper. And I’m not brave. I do what I have to to survive.” And there is no greater need for survival than right now.
* * * * *
“Would you look at that ass,” Piper dreamily coos. I don’t need to look up to see whose ass she’s gushing about.
I pat Potter along his mane while rubbing my cheeks along the bridge of his soft nose. I’ve missed my horses so much. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to own a couple of horses. I learned to ride early and it’s something I enjoy immensely to this day. There is something indescribable about jumping onto the back of a strapping beast and trusting one another completely. The freedom of running boundless is liberating. It was also my form of therapy. God knows I now need that therapy more than anything.
