Beth stayed quiet, listening to the boats on the bay and a dog barking in the distance. Up ahead, a pretty white gazebo sat on a rise. She headed that way, climbing the steps to find a porch swing. She took a seat.
Justice settled next to her, put his arm around her and tugged her to his side. “Are we okay?”
“Don’t keep secrets from me. It feels like I’m being manipulated and controlled.” Leaning her head back, she looked up at the ceiling of the structure. Everything was so clean. Did the staff wash it down weekly? “Obviously my dad and Hayes concocted the plan to get me to his house that night, and I didn’t know anything about it. I believed my dad, but he had this secret agenda, you know?”
“Fuck. You can’t think this is the same thing.”
Twisting her head to see him, she said, “No, but I still felt blindsided and hurt. It’s bad enough your band doesn’t want me around. But you—”
He laid a hand on her face. “I want you with me every single day. I’d fight the band on this, Beth, except for one thing.”
“What?”
“It’s not safe. You could have been hurt last night. I can’t go through that again.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “I’d have given anything to trade places with you when you were crumpled on the ground, bleeding, in pain and terrified after you were stabbed. That’s why I’m not fighting. I’ll come home and see you. But I need you safe, Beth. And I need you to trust me.”
His words were sweet, but it was the way he pressed his head to hers, his arm around her, his eyes piercing in their intensity that convinced her heart he really was trying to protect her. He’d taken care of her after she’d been hurt, stood by her and loved her. The risk to her was real. “You’re right. I don’t want our baby hurt either.”
“I’m trying to protect both of you. You know that, right?”
Liza wanted to believe that, but a tiny doubt flickered. Justice had told her when they discovered she was pregnant not to make him choose between her and the baby, and his dream of being a rock star.
He hadn’t chosen her over his band today. Sure, Liza understood his reasons intellectually. But a part of her feared pushing him into a real choice.
Because he might not choose her.
Chapter 19
Liza hugged her two friends then sat at the square table with the snowy linen tablecloth in the gorgeous restaurant. The huge window gave them a perfect view of the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean. She’d been tense ever since she’d returned from Tampa less than a month ago, and a night out with the girls was exactly what she needed.
Taking her seat, she raised her eyebrows at Emily. “Someone’s showing off. I can’t afford to eat here when it’s not on SLAM’s dime.”
Emily grinned. “I love this job. And I couldn’t wait to use my discount, so order whatever you want. It’s my thank you for helping me get this job, Liza.” She shifted to Nikki. “And both of you for helping me with my resume.”
Nikki picked up her menu. “You just started this week and already get perks. I’m so jealous. Event Coordinator for the Opulence Hotel. Now that’s glamorous.”
Liza assured Nikki, “We’ll find something awesome for you too.”
“I know. But I have a job, Emily’s need was more urgent.” A wicked smile curved Nikki’s mouth. “Although I was tempted to apply for the job, because…look around this place. This is the life.”
The waiter stopped by their table. Once they ordered, Liza asked, “So what’s the most exciting thing about your job so far?”
“Let me think.” Emily bit into a slice of warm, crusty bread. After swallowing, she went on, “I’m getting up to date on a few weddings and conferences we’re doing this spring and summer. One stands out though—that wedding has a baseball theme.”
“Baseball?” Liza looked up from buttering her bread.
“Like…the game?” Nikki asked.
“Like they want a batting cage at the reception.” Emily took her wine from the waiter and sipped it.
Liza tried to picture that. “How will you pull that off?” She didn’t have a clue how to set up a batting cage. Or why anyone would want a baseball-themed wedding.
Em laughed, clearly happy. “Anything is possible with money. They met at a baseball game, and this is what they want.”
“Wow,” Liza said. “If I were planning a wedding, it wouldn’t be with a baseball theme.” Her own marriage at city hall seemed more romantic than that.
“My dream would be a destination wedding in Italy, or maybe Hawaii.” Nikki’s eyes gleamed. “Or Greece.”
“Not me. I just want my brothers not to embarrass the shit out of me at my wedding,” Em groused.
Liza grinned at her. “Not only will they torment you, Ben will probably help them. You should elope if you ever marry.”
“The way you did it might be smarter. Simple and no fuss. Way less expensive too.”
“You mean the knocked-up quickie?” She scrunched her nose. “Or as some social media site called it, Lying Liza’s trap.” She really needed to stay off that website, Bring Gene Hayes Home. The headlines and stories, like Lying Liza Banned from Savaged Illusions Tour, stung.
“Assholes,” Em muttered. “Where are they getting this stuff?”
“Maybe someone on the band’s road crew is leaking it,” Nikki suggested. “They must overhear the band talking about things.”
“I don’t know. But it was like this when I was fourteen. No matter what my aunt and the prosecutor’s office did, things got out to the media. Reporters and creeps dug through our trash. They even hounded my two younger cousins. The media finds out stuff, or they make it up. The truth doesn’t matter. People love the sensationalism.”
“It matters to me,” Em said.
“And me,” Nikki added. “This whole thing is surreal.” After chewing a bite of her steak, she went on. “I can’t believe Jagged Sin pulled their shit together enough to release an album.”
Liza nodded. “And now it’s this huge indie rock feud between them and Savaged Illusions. The last week, it’s almost all Justice talked about.”
“He’s excited about coming home though, right?” Em said. “You guys will find out the baby’s sex at your ultrasound.”
She barely tasted her shrimp. “He says he is. He’s flying in tomorrow afternoon, and the appointment is Thursday morning.”
“Liza.” Em leaned forward. “Is something wrong? You guys aren’t fighting, are you?”
“No. Nothing like that. I just miss him, and you know…” It’d been three weeks since she saw him in Tampa. “I had to reschedule the ultrasound once because something came up.” They talked, and she sent him her pages, same as usual, except he’d been more distracted the last few days. Now she was being the downer. “But he’s coming home, and that will help. Oh, and I have news.”
“What?” Emily dug into her fish.
“I got an offer to appear on IRB’s TV show in the Rock Wives segment.”
Nikki set her fork down. “Oh my God, Liza! You have to do it!”
“Sh.” She didn’t want anyone to overhear. Her nerves tangled. “I’m thinking about it. I’ve told Keith no in the past, but—”
Em slapped her hand on the table. “Why the hell not?” Her eyes blazed fire. “It’s time you fought back against the media.”
She was torn, knowing how easy it was for anything she said or did to be twisted. “The last time I was in an interview with IRB, that’s how Gene Hayes found me. Plus, the band wants me to stay quiet.” Just like her aunt and grandmother had.
“That’s bullshit,” Emily snapped. “I’m getting really damned tired of hearing you defend this crap.”
“I negotiated a little and got Keith to agree that if I do the Rock Wives segment, it’ll be about the project I’m passionate about. We’ll still touch on being married to Justice, life as a rock star’s wife, but I can really put this program out there.”
“SLAM Heroes?” Nikki asked.
Tha
t was what drew her to the idea. She could show people how much most of their fighters cared about helping victims feel safe. It was her chance to really showcase her beloved project that she’d developed with Drake’s invaluable help. She refused to talk about Gene Hayes, except in the context of how Liza understood how scary it was to testify and face your attacker in court, and how that led her to establish the SLAM Heroes program. “Sloane and publicity are okay with it. I just have to talk to Justice.”
“You are not asking his permission.” Em glared.
Liza hated the way that sounded. “No, I wanted to—”
Her phone played “Expired Hero,” her ringtone for Justice. He didn’t usually call this early in the evening. He was playing in a club tonight…somewhere. “Uh, that’s Justice.” Tugging out her phone, she answered, “Hi.”
“Beth, World Rock Stage posted the short list for Indie Breakout Band. We’re on it! We made the short list.”
She flushed with excitement. “Congratulations! How many bands?”
“Five.” He listed them. “According to Christine, the only one who’s real competition is Jagged Sin.”
He sneered that name though the cell. Liza smiled. “You’ll win, rock star. This is your time. We’ll celebrate after you get home tomorrow.”
“About that—”
Her heart dropped into her stomach.
“—I can’t make it home, Beth. I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes as disappointment crashed over her. “I rescheduled the ultrasound for you. Don’t you want to know our baby is healthy? If we’re having a boy or girl? Justice—”
“We’re in the chase now, sweetheart. We’re flying to New York tomorrow for a round of cocktail parties, interviews and a photo shoot. There’s nothing I can do.”
“You could come home.” Her eyes pricked, and that pissed her off.
“Beth, please, I know you’re disappointed, but this is important. If we get the Indie Breakout Band nod, we go to the World Rock Concert in France. That will make our careers.”
“More important than our child?” Or her? She could hear the pleading tone in her voice and hated herself. She was in the middle of a restaurant with two friends. Snap out of it. She wasn’t doing this now.
“Of course not. Can you reschedule the ultrasound? Maybe in a couple weeks?”
“No.”
She heard voices and a female giggle in the background of the call.
“I’m on the phone,” Justice snapped. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Liza took a slow breath, trying to drown the ugly jealousy swimming around her brain. “Who was that?”
“River and two chicks he’s practically wearing as skin. I called to share the good news. I’m sorry I can’t be there Thursday, but you can send me a video.”
She wondered if those skintight chicks would be going with them to New York while Liza sat at home. “Will I be sending you a video of your child’s birth too?” Did that sound bitchy? Because it felt pretty damned good.
“Fuck. Are you really doing this? I’m busting my ass traveling the entire country, singing four to seven nights a week in different venues, trying to make it. For you and the kid.”
“That’s a lie. It’s for you, for your dream, the one that drives every decision you make.” Like banning me from the tour. “I’ve been supportive, I’ve sacrificed. All I asked you to do is come home one time to see your child’s ultrasound.” She cut off before her voice broke and weeks of pain, fear and loneliness spilled out.
“You’re overreacting and stomping my balls because I can’t make one doctor appointment. This is my job, Beth.”
And she was only his wife. The one he’d knocked up and felt obligated to marry. She stared down at her pretty rings he’d had made from his grandmother’s diamonds. She loved them so much.
She loved him.
But each day it felt like they were being torn apart. It was a physical pain, as if something were being ripped from her body.
“Beth? I’m sorry. Christ, I’m just…I can’t do it.”
For a horrible second, the pretty restaurant in San Diego faded away, and Liza was a kid again maybe about eight, sleeping in some crappy trailer and woken by screaming.
Her mom and her latest boyfriend—another stringy-haired, drugged-up musician—had been out screwing around. Liza had snuck out to see her mom screaming and throwing whatever she could, her face a twisted mask of hatred. The place had stunk of old beer, cigarettes and broken, bloody dreams.
Was that who she and Justice would become? Ravaging each other?
Had her aunt been right all along?
Pressing her fingers against her stomach in a desperate attempt to protect her child from the pain she’d suffered, she got control of herself. “You’re right. It’s one appointment. We’ll talk later. I’m happy for you guys making the short list.”
“Shit, they’re calling me to get back onstage for our last set. I’ll call you tonight, okay? Love you.”
The line went dead, and heaviness settled on her chest.
“You okay?” Nikki laid a hand on her arm.
She tried to shake off the ghost of her past. She was here in a lovely restaurant with two friends who’d obviously heard enough of the conversation to get the gist. This was her life, and she’d deal with it. “Fantastic. I’m a rock star’s wife.” She shoved her half-eaten dinner away. “Where’s the dessert menu?”
* * *
“Making that short list is legit.” Lynx slugged down half his beer.
Justice finished off his brew in the stuffy tour bus as he and Lynx waited for the rest of the band to get their asses on board. They had an early morning flight to New York, and he had to wind down and try to get some sleep. “Best night in a long time.” Or it had been until he talked to Beth.
Fuck.
He leaned his head back on the couch, legs stretched out and feet touching the opposite wall. She’d been so damned upset. Because you let her down, and you damn well know it.
He had to call her back now that the night’s concert was over. But what would he say? Sorry, but I’m not giving up this shot? Or how about, I’d already cancelled the flight before I called you? Yeah, that’d be even better.
“What’s eating you, J?”
This was his oldest friend. He didn’t have to lie. “Beth. What am I supposed to do here?”
Lynx set his bottle on the floor and picked up his sticks, tapping out a beat on the seat. “This life fucks up a marriage. You’ve seen the shit that goes on. Some women can do it, but they’re rare.” He cut his gaze over. “Regrets? I mean you could be chasing pussy. Hell, you wouldn’t have to chase, they’re all over you.”
They were all over Lynx too. He’d had a girl in the bus tonight while they were on break between sets, and Justice had been standing in the dirty alleyway talking on the phone to Beth. He closed his eyes. He was a guy, so sure, he looked, and yeah, temptation happened. But he wasn’t a cheater. “If I’m going to fuck around, I’d tell Beth we’re done. I’d own that.”
“Straight up way to be. I hate liars. But your deal with Liza? That’s harder. She heard us talking about banning her from the tour. She’s dealing with the smears in the media. Everything is leaking out, even that you two have a postnuptial. Then you bail on the ultrasound, and, well, you know chicks and babies.”
But this wasn’t just a chick and a baby, they were his. “This is what Simon warned me about.” Going after superstardom didn’t mix with love. You couldn’t have two all-consuming passions. Something had to give.
“Yeah, and you bail on us now, I’ll kick your ass. All of us will. We didn’t work this hard to get sabotaged by our lead singer.”
Exactly. Caught between a rock and a hard place.
“Finally, Christ, I’ve been texting you for forty minutes.” Simon’s voice came from outside the bus. “We need to roll.”
“Fuck off.” The bus shifted as River climbed aboard and turned down the aisle.
<
br /> Justice caught a whiff of him. “You smell like a perfume factory. Open a window.”
River swung his gaze to him. “It’s called getting laid with girls, not my hand. Try it sometime.” He grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “So the short list for Indie Breakout Band.” He lifted the beer in a toast. “To us, best damned rock band. And no one to give a shit beyond a hard fuck.” He downed several swallows of the brew.
Justice could almost feel the loneliness rolling off River, even though he’d clearly just been with a girl or two. Both Lynx and River didn’t have family. Well, Lynx had had his mom until she’d overdosed.
But River? Nada. He didn’t even remember a lot of his childhood or how he came to be wandering the streets one night as a kid. The peacemaker and charmer in their band was fraying at the edges. “Not true. Drake, Sloane, all the guys give a fuck,” Justice said. That was what Fighters to Mentors gave them—a connection to people who cared what became of you.
He opened his mouth to ask if River had texted Cassie, the sweet, funny girl who always cheered him up, but Gray and Simon boarded, followed by their driver. In five minutes, they were rolling out.
“Only competition on that short list is Jagged Sin.” Simon passed more beers around where they’d settled at the table.
“Yeah,” River agreed. “Who’d have thought we’d ever consider them real competition.”
Justice lifted his head, his mind spinning. “They’ve upped their game, I’ll give them that. But we’re better.” And he still hated the bastards, especially now that they were in business with Hayes.
“We don’t take our foot off the gas now, it’s pedal to the metal,” Simon said. “We have to stay focused and work harder.”
He started to answer when his phone rang. He glanced at the screen.
Beth.
For an instant, he considered sending it to voicemail. He just wasn’t up for another dip in the guilt pool. But he wasn’t a pussy either, and Beth deserved better. Getting up, he answered, “Hi, baby. I’m sorry about—”
Savaged Vows: Savaged Illusions Trilogy Book 2 Page 25
