“Ever regret it?” he asked, needing to hear her answer, to make sure there was nothing but friendship left between her and Shaw.
“What? Not moving to the country?”
“Introducing Shaw to Angie. He told me that the two of you used to date.”
“He called it dating?” As Elgin tried to recall Shaw’s exact words, she went on. “We’ve always been friends, nothing else. We were both awkward teenagers. Late bloomers is what my mother called us, but ugly and miserable was more like it. It was convenient for Tommy and me to do things together, that’s all.” She was thoughtful in her recollections. “We did kiss, though.”
There was a snort of disgust from her companion.
“But we discussed it thoroughly beforehand.”
“You discussed kissing?”
“Well, we talked about everything in those days. I was closer to Tommy than I was to most of my girlfriends. I always felt I could tell him anything, even more than my own brothers. One night we were talking about kissing, you know, what it would be like to kiss some other boy or some other girl. So…we sort of experimented…on each other.”
“And?” The look on his face told her he was sure it would be like kissing a goldfish or the family dog.
“And…we grew up and started kissing other people.”
“Pretty uneventful, huh?” He smirked. “You two didn’t experiment with anything else did you?”
She laughed, and in her head she threw away one fabulous fib after another. “No. But we still talked until Angie came along, and then we talked a little less. There’s Del Rio too. Now Angie and I talk a lot, and Del Rio is Tommy’s best friend. Things change. It’s not like it used to be.”
“So, you don’t really know Shaw as well as you used to,” he said casually, hoping and praying for a small crack in her loyalty to the man. If there was a breath of doubt in her about Shaw, then he could step in and bring it to life. He could tell her the truth.
“What’s not to know? People don’t change that much as they get older. He’ll always be my friend, someone I can trust and depend on.”
This was the perfect opportunity to bring up her suspicions about Del Rio, Kelly thought, but she wasn’t sure of how to ease it into the conversation without sounding overly concerned. She certainly didn’t want to make trouble for Del Rio if her feelings were incorrect. She wanted to warn Elgin that he couldn’t count on Tommy for support during the investigation, too, but it didn’t feel like the right time. She decided to wait for her next chance and tell him the whole story then.
They continued to drive, farther and farther away from the city, their worries, and their responsibilities. They talked about the past and the future as they cruised into New Jersey. Cityscapes dwindled to suburban terrain. The contours of the land changed and the countryside grew green and lush, dotted with rural settlements. It was like sailing through space together, far from civilization, quiet and isolated, inaccessible to the rest of the world.
Well away from any large city, where farms and small towns were the norm, Elgin left the highway to speed along the country roads as if he knew where he was going. They both pointed out pretty scenes and farms that were neat, tidy, and classic in appearance.
“We could be anywhere,” he said. “Farms look the same whether they’re in New York or Montana. Of course, some are bigger than others, and in the South, they have white pillars in front of everything. But for the most part, country looks like country, just like big cities resemble each other.”
“You don’t know anyone from Texas, do you?” she asked, conscious of being relaxed to the point of limpness. “They say everything in Texas is bigger and better than anywhere else in the world. There was a guy in the bar one night who…”
She went on to tell an entertaining but trivial story about a man from Texas, all the while impressed by how comfortable she was with Elgin. When they had nothing to say, the silence was peaceful and unstrained. No comment was too mundane, no reflection too personal. He was intelligent and informed. He made her laugh, and seemed to know all the things that would amuse her or catch her interest. Best of all, he gave her the feeling that everything he did and said was for her pleasure.
“Look there,” he said, downshifting and slowing to a near halt. “That’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. What do you think?”
She followed his gaze across an open field to a thick stand of trees. She couldn’t see what lay beyond the trees, but from within its depths a stream curled and twisted its way out through the tall grass and underbrush. No buildings were in sight, no sign of civilization save a small herd of black-and-white cows. It was a picture-postcard scene, an advertisement for God’s handiwork.
“I think it’s beautiful. I haven’t been out of the city in so long, it’s hard to remember there are still places that look like that.”
“Wanna get out and wiggle your toes in the stream?” he asked, his voice pure temptation.
“And have some farmer come along with his shotgun and shoot us?” she said. “No thanks. I’m a good window-shopper.”
“What’s a good window-shopper?”
“Someone who can enjoy and appreciate what they see through a window without having to go into the store to touch it or try it on.”
“Uh-uh. No window-shopping. Not today. Not ever when you’re with me.” He set the car in motion again, unreasonably angered by her words and determined to see Kelly where she belonged—on a blanket in the shade of one of the trees across the meadow.
Her explanation of window-shopping had hit him like a belly punch. It hadn’t occurred to him until that moment, but window-shopping was the way she lived her life. He knew she hadn’t planned it. He’d bet that when she was younger, she’d gone into all the shops and picked through the merchandise, elbowing and shoving her way through the throng to grab what she wanted out of life.
But something had happened. He wasn’t sure what it was, her father’s death, her mother’s, the lack of jobs after college, but something had gotten in the way of what she wanted. Discouragement had set in, and she’d started settling for rain checks and substitutes. Dissatisfaction and disappointment had worn down her enthusiasm for shopping, and soon she was simply looking through the windows at the life she wanted, telling herself that she enjoyed and appreciated what she had because she thought it was all she could ever have.
“When you’re with me, you can have anything you want,” he said, driving farther down the road, looking for an access to the field. “All you have to do is point and tell me what you want.”
He knew his words involved a big commitment to her, but a woman who wanted to be a social worker wasn’t likely to ask for the moon. Yet as he thought about it, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that if she did ask for the moon, he’d do all in his power to get it for her. Hell, he wanted to give her everything, whether she wanted it or not. Falling head over heels in love with Kelly Branigan was a stupid thing to do in his position, but he wasn’t dumb enough to deny that he’d done it. He could barely stop looking at her, and the more he came to know her, the harder it was to look away.
Slowly, as if the tires were filled with nitroglycerin, he drove the car onto the grassy field and parked in the shade of the willow and maple trees that grew along the stream.
Kelly got out of the car cautiously, looking for a farmer.
“Are you ready for your first surprise?” Elgin asked. She turned to see him releasing the glass hatch on the rear of the car.
“This must be where you pull a rabbit out of your hatch,” she said, straight-faced.
He grimaced. “You need to get out in the fresh air more often,” he said, looking seriously concerned. “Come help me.”
She laughed and moved obediently to his side, ready for anything he happened to take out of the car. Instead of a rabbit, he withdrew a blue-and-black plaid blanket and a large picnic basket.
“A picnic,” she exclaimed, delighted. “I haven’t done this in years.”
“For me, it’s been years since I’ve wanted to go on a picnic…in the country with a beautiful woman,” he said, punctuating his words with soft kisses. He leaned back against the car, in no hurry, content simply to hold her. “This is my way of proving how disciplined and cultured I can be.”
The little frown between her brows encouraged him to explain.
“Well, if it were up to me, I’d grab you by the hair and drag you off to my cave. I want to be alone with you, Kelly, the two of us, without distractions, without bumping into people on the streets, without friends and family. Just us.”
His words echoed in her heart, and with each resounding vibration a warmth unlike any she’d known before radiated through her body. It illuminated the vast spaces of her soul, the fine, ornate chambers of her heart, the hallowed halls of her mind, and all the dusty nooks and crannies of her being that were seldom used. It wasn’t the lusty heat his eyes, mouth, and hands could ignite so deliberately and with such ease that stunned her into submission. It was a glowing warmth that made her feel unique and treasured, something she’d never felt before.
“What about those cows over there?” she asked, idly playing with the soft hair near his ear.
He looked over her shoulder at the bovine creatures across the field, chewing their cuds, appearing brain dead to outside stimuli. “Well, if they come over here and start talking to us, we’ll pack up our basket and leave.”
Seven
THE AFTERNOON THEY spent in the farmer’s pasture, with the cows standing tolerantly off in the distance and their toes dipping in and out of the cool water of the stream, was the most leisurely and pleasurable Kelly had ever known.
“Why aren’t you fat?” Elgin asked as he watched her finish off the last ham sandwich and brush crumbs from her lap. “You eat like a construction worker.”
“What an unkind thing to say,” she said, grinning at him. “A gentleman wouldn’t point out my one minor flaw in the first place, but if he felt compelled to do so, he would at least refer to it as a healthy appetite, not ‘you eat like a construction worker.’”
“Well, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for the past half hour and there you sit, stuffing your face.” He was exaggerating, of course. Of the four sandwiches in the basket, he’d eaten two and a half. He’d also consumed most of the potato salad and fruit. And a half hour earlier they’d been racing across the field to the blanket. Which reminded him…
“The only reason why you won that race,” he said, “was because you cheated.”
“My goodness,” she said mildly, “you are a sore loser, aren’t you?”
“When I fell, you didn’t even look back.”
“It was a fair race, and you didn’t fall, you slipped, and then you had cow poohies on your shoes. Is it my fault you’re as blind as a bat? Those—what’d you call them, cow pies?—are as big as…” She giggled. “They’re huge. How did you miss seeing them?”
He rolled onto his back and folded his arms behind his head. “I was busy watching those long legs and that great little butt of yours, that’s how. So it’s still your fault.” He closed his eyes against the sun, looking well satisfied with his argument. “The least you could do is kiss me to make me feel better.”
“Is there any dessert?”
He opened one eye to look at her in surprise. Then as quick as a bee on clover, he rolled over, pulled her bottom out from under her, and lay down on top of her to keep her still.
“Dessert? I offer you my body and you want dessert?” The threat she saw on his face was unveiled. Kelly knew she was condemned to be kissed, and squirmed in anticipation.
“Oh, no,” she cried in mock dismay. “Please don’t hurt me.”
Elgin’s expression suddenly became serious and somber. His muscles loosened and his shoulders curved protectively about her.
“I don’t want to hurt you. Not ever,” he said, his voice hardly more than an impassioned whisper.
“I know,” she said, smiling with trust and empathy. New relationships were always scary. She and Elgin were falling hard and fast into a well of love, making no attempt to ease the impact or protect themselves from injury. Yet they both knew the risk they were taking.
Elgin wound his fingers into her hair, his palms cradling her face. His first gentle kiss was an apology for what he knew to be inevitable. He was going to hurt her. With great tenderness he kissed her again, begging for her understanding and forgiveness. More fiercely he kissed her, in agony for all he was about to lose, for what could have been between them. Then his kisses became desperate with longing and need, unmindful of the future, knowing only that he had to have her.
Was it possible she’d known Elgin only a few short days? Kelly pondered, her head coming to rest on his chest some time later. She felt as if she’d known him forever, as if they shared a history, as if their connection had been tested and tried and found to be sure and sound.
They shared so many ideals and beliefs. They enjoyed the same music and loved a good mystery novel. On so many issues they thought alike, and yet they had their differences too.
Where Kelly led her life and formed relationships on instinct and gut reactions, Elgin asked questions and tried to discover the whys and wherefores of all things seen and unseen. Which part of a book or movie did she particularly like? he asked her. How old was she when she took her first train ride to visit cousins in Maine? Why hadn’t she punched the little boy who’d pulled her braids in church? It was one question after another, but she didn’t mind.
No one had ever shown an interest in who she was before. Not even herself. It occurred to her that the people around her took the same view of her as she took of herself—she simply was. Kelly wasn’t complicated and neither was her life. The people and places that made up her world had changed little since the day of her birth.
It was odd, though, that while those closest to her had been trained to question and wonder, Kelly took most everything at face value and accepted her feelings without consideration.
For instance, of all the bodies in the world, what was it about Elgin’s that made her want to lie unprotected and vulnerable on the ground and open her arms wide in invitation to him? She wondered about this passively, unconcerned about the cause, yet thrilled by the facts. Why did his touch send electric shivers up and down her spine, as if her finger were stuck in a light socket? Why did his smile make her heart race? Her blood ran hot when he whispered to her. Why was that?
Again, she didn’t stop to search for answers. What good would they be? Knowing why and how Elgin could wreak havoc on her emotions wouldn’t increase or decrease the attraction between them, would it? Kelly didn’t think so.
“I could get used to this,” he said, his tone lazy, his voice rumbling deep in his chest.
“Mmm,” she agreed, as her head rode the up-and-down wave of his long sigh. “It’s been a wonderful afternoon. Thank you.”
“No. I mean, I could get used to holding you like this. On a blanket in the sun, in the street, on a racquetball court. On the floor of The Library, in my bed. Those are all the places I’ve imagined making love to you and then holding you, just like this. I could definitely get used to it.”
She squeezed her arms a little tighter around him, but couldn’t speak. Neither one of them should get too accustomed to the feelings of happiness and contentment they found in the other’s arms, she knew. They weren’t falling in love under ideal circumstances, and she knew that too. He was a cop from another city. Already they had two strikes against them. Still, she found it easier and easier to put off thinking about the future. Even if there were some way to overcome the physical distance between their homes, she would eventually have to deal with a lifetime of personal opposition to his being a cop.
“
Oh, jeez.” He sat up with a start, taking her with him. Glancing at his watch, he said, “We need to get going or we’ll be late.”
“Late for what?”
“Dinner. We have reservations.”
“We do?”
“Surprise number three.” He grinned at her, getting to his feet.
“Two,” she corrected him.
“Three.” He stopped, frowned, then gave her a silly-me look. He lowered himself down to the blanket again, saying, “I do believe I forgot to give you surprise number two.”
He leaned across her, his face directly in front of hers while he fished with one hand inside the picnic basket. His eyes were full of self-satisfaction, excitement, and the desire to please her, which made her extremely self-conscious. She couldn’t remember anyone enjoying her pleasure as much as Elgin did.
Feeling unusually shy, she lowered her gaze. Naturally, the first thing she saw was the hand groping around in the basket, but for the first time she also took note of the shiny gold watch on Elgin’s wrist. She vaguely recalled that his watch had been broken the day before and wondered if this one was new. It looked new. Thin and rectangular, it had an expensive air about it; graceful, tasteful, and unpretentious. She was no authority on watches, but the more she thought about it, the more she was sure it was new. She was also sure that Elgin would appreciate her noticing any large or small changes about him.
“New watch?” she asked, pleased with her astute observation.
“Yep. I picked it up this morning when I bought you this.”
He handed her a long, soft leather fold-over pouch with a gold embossed emblem on one corner. She’d seen the famous emblem before and knew that whatever the pouch contained was expensive, made of gold, and out of her league.
“Oh, Elgin. What have you done?” she asked, her throat tight with emotion as she laid open the flaps one at a time. The gold chain inside was simple and elegant, with double super fine links lending it a delicate, artistic flair. It was without a doubt the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
Kiss Me, Kelly Page 9
