“Where are we going?” He finally asked after thirty minutes or so of driving.
“Montgomery,” Rowan replied.
“Montgomery?” Kasen’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead. That was nearly two hours away! “What’s there?”
“Lots of interesting things,” Rowan said, trying not to smile. This was things that friends did together, right? Going to towns a couple of hours away, and exploring things together? Well, if it wasn’t before, it was now, because Rowan had already made up his mind that they were going to have a good time. No matter what the outcome.
Kasen bit his bottom lip again, smiling a little as he relaxed in his seat.
It wasn’t long before they had arrived in Montgomery. Kasen had only ever seen pictures before. He had no idea it was actually this neat. There were buildings that were nearly as tall as those in New York. Or at least, in his mind that’s what he was thinking.
“Wow,” He whispered, tilting his head back slightly, cheek pressed to the glass as he took in everything. He’d never seen anything so incredible before. Chartreuse couldn’t compare to this place.
Rowan was watching him from the corner of his eye, grinning a little. It was like taking a child to the candy store for the first time. Kasen seemed so damn innocent. But what if he is that innocent? Rowan tried to push the thoughts from his mind as he turned left and as they neared their first destination, he glanced back over at Kasen.
“So what do you think about this?” He asked.
Kasen finally faced forward, and those blue eyes of his nearly bulged right out of his head. The zoo. They were at the zoo.
“Really?” Kasen asked, excitedly. He turned to look at Rowan, “I’ve never been to a zoo before.”
It warmed Rowan’s heart, the way Kasen was reacting. And he was glad that he could give Kasen this experience. He parked the car and then he got out, shutting his door before moving over to Kasen’s side to open his door. Sure, it was probably a weird move, but Rowan had always been respectful.
“Thanks,” Kasen laughed, getting out and then turning to look towards the entrance. “Wow,” He repeated.
Rowan shut the door, making sure the car was locked up before tucking his keys away. He stood beside of Kasen, watching him for a moment. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen someone look so appreciative of a place before. Finally, he nudged him gently with his elbow. The electricity that shot through his arm was undeniable. “So, you wanna go in?” He asked.
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It was really fun to watch how Kasen reacted to everything once they were inside. They first strolled through the insects before making their way to the birds. Kasen was delighted with being able to see so many varieties, asking all sorts of questions that Rowan could confidently answer.
The monkeys came next, followed shortly by a koala bear. Though when they made it to the elephants, Kasen was absolutely transfixed.
Rowan stood beside of him, watching curiously as Kasen leaned a bit over the rail, getting a better view. “Do you like elephants?” He asked him quietly.
“I’m not sure like is the word,” Kasen said with a smile, glancing up at Rowan briefly. “Elephants are great. I’ve always loved them. When I was little, I used to watch Dumbo. A lot.”
Rowan was elated that he could learn things like this about Kasen. It made him feel as if they were truly getting to know one another. Which was something he had missed; actually getting to know people.
“Dumbo, huh?” Rowan asked, gazing back out towards the elephants as a little baby one came following behind its mother, loyally, “I always really enjoyed Peter Pan. There was just something so fascinating about a land where you never grow up, and you can have as much fun as you want.”
Kasen grinned a little, glancing over at Rowan again as he bit his bottom lip, “Do you think that’s a land of never being judged?” He asked quietly.
Rowan quirked a brow, leaning against the rail as he turned a bit to where he could face Kasen, “I think I can be pretty confident when I say that no one is judged in Neverland. Aside from old people,” He flashed a smile, and when Kasen returned that smile, Rowan felt butterflies in his stomach. Bad sign. Bad sign. Stop while you’re ahead. But he wasn’t interested in listening to his conscience right now. He was much more intrigued with the young fellow beside of him, who’s smile seemed to light up the entire world.
Kasen laughed softly, clasping his hands together as he finally stepped back from the elephants so they could go on their way, “If that’s the only thing people judged for these days,” He said quietly. “Though, really, I don’t think people should judge at all. Do you?”
Rowan was walking beside of him, his hands tucked away into the pockets of his jacket. He glanced down at Kasen before he shook his head, “No. I don’t think they should. It’s not their place to judge. It’s God’s.”
Rowan wasn’t the most religious person in the world, but he felt in his heart that God loved everyone no matter what. That’s why God had sent his son to die, wasn’t it? For all of humanity. For every sin. Though he didn’t see his lifestyle as a sin. Surely, had God not meant for people to love, he wouldn’t have given hearts the capability to do so. And furthermore, he wouldn’t have made it possible for one man to love another in such a way.
People could tell him he was going to go to Hell all they wanted, but life was short as it was. Why should he live it and be unhappy? That was the secret to life, in Rowan’s mind. Living and being happy, no matter what gave one that happiness. Well, aside from murder and rape. Those were two things that he highly frowned upon. But to hate him for loving a man? It was better than killing a man, wasn’t it?
After they had covered the entire zoo, Kasen’s stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten anything that day out of pure excitement. And Rowan must’ve realized that because they were soon back in the car and making their way to a small café that served everything from meatloaf to pizza. It was a nice little place, seemingly family owned. The cashier was very friendly, and the cook even waved to them.
Rowan couldn’t say he’d met such nice people before. Sure, there were nice people in Boston, but nothing compared to this. It seemed everywhere he turned, someone was waving or saying “How ya doin’?” It just wasn’t something he was used to, although he had a feeling he would quickly adapt.
There were a lot of things he was seeming to do too quickly though. For instance, the way he felt being around Kasen. He’s not even gay, you idiot. Yet here you are, getting your hopes up. Have you learned nothing? Again, he was ignoring the thoughts in his mind as he picked up a menu to glance over it before brown eyes lifted to glance at Kasen. Those azure hues were busy moving over his own menu as he smiled a little.
I wonder what he’s smiling about… Rowan wondered to himself. Could it be from happiness of being out of Chartreuse? Or maybe it was happiness of spending time with him? Wishful thinking. He rolled his eyes, clearing his throat as he decided that a large root beer and helping of jambalaya would do the trick for him.
“Do you see anything you want?” He asked lowly.
When Kasen’s eyes suddenly snapped up to meet his, Rowan’s heart may have stopped altogether.
“I think I want a foot long hot dog,” Kasen said excitedly, his smile growing once again. “With some fries and a large root beer float. That sounds really good, huh?”
Rowan couldn’t help but to smile as he nodded, “Yeah, that sounds fantastic. Get whatever you want, Kasen, it’s on me,” But then he noticed Kasen’s frown and his brows furrowed. “What is it?”
“I appreciate you wantin’ to be so nice to me and all, Rowan,” Kasen said, “But I feel bad that you’re spending your money on me. Honestly, I just appreciate your company. I promise I can afford my own meal.”
Rowan smiled gently, and then he shook his head, “Hey. This was my idea. And you’re my guest. So it’s my treat okay? And don’t worry about the money. I can afford the food,” Though he stopped talking when he saw the exp
ression on Kasen’s face. It was one of..shock?
He glanced down, and saw why. He wasn’t sure when he’d done it, but his hand was resting over Kasen’s on the table. Shit. He quickly pulled his hand away, face flushing, “I-I’m sorry,” He stammered.
It was painfully silent for a few moments. But then Kasen finally spoke up, “It’s okay,” He said quietly.
Rowan knew better than that. How in the hell was it supposed to be okay? He’d practically been holding his hand. Kasen wasn’t going to want to hang out with him anymore. He really need to get his emotions in check. He couldn’t be doing stuff like this. Not in Alabama, and definitely not with Kasen. Maybe he was beginning to like him too much.
Chapter Ten
Kasen sat there quietly for a few more seconds afterwards. He really didn’t want things to get awkward between them. Had Rowan not wanted to do that? Had it just been an accident? Kasen was confused, and so many emotions were running through him as he moved his hands to his lap, deciding to try to move on from it. It would do him no good to worry over it now. They were having such a nice time. The zoo, and now this place; this amazing little café where they could get to know one another.
Maybe Kasen was silly to feel butterflies around Rowan. Maybe he was just overthinking all of this in general, and he needed to stop hoping that this was more than just two guys hanging out as friends.
So he just chewed at his lower lip, waiting for the waitress to come and take their order. Rowan ordered his meal for him, as well as getting himself a cheeseburger, no onion, with some fries and a large root beer. So much for jambalaya
Several more long moments passed by as they sat there in silence, and Kasen was wondering if he’d messed up their day. Though he was surprised when he heard Rowan clearing his throat before speaking.
“So, your family lives around here?” He asked curiously.
Kasen blinked, blue eyes moving up to meet those chocolate ones before he nodded. “My mom does,” He replied. “I’ve never really been around my dad.”
Rowan frowned a bit, but nodded to him.
“He left when I was just a kid,” Kasen explained. “I don’t really remember him at all. I mean, I remember some things. But not much. I remember his laugh,” He smiled faintly. “It was such a happy laugh,” He chewed on his lip, glancing up when their drinks arrived.
“Thank ya,” Kasen said, taking the spoon out of the glass to scoop up some of the vanilla ice cream that floated above the root beer.
“I didn’t know my dad either,” Rowan admitted. “He lives in San Diego,” He shrugged. “He left my mom when I was five. He was having an affair with his secretary. Needless to say, my mom wasn’t happy. I don’t blame her for that,” He shrugged. “I can imagine she used to actually be a semi-nice person. I suppose I should thank my father for that.”
He ran his fingers through his dark hair, and Kasen watched as the locks fell right back into his face again.
“Not on good terms with your mama?” Kasen asked quietly.
Rowan shook his head a bit, “We’re not really on any terms,” He replied. “I think she only tolerated me until I turned eighteen. Then after I moved out for college, I’m pretty sure I became non-existent to her.”
“I’m sorry,” Kasen said quietly with a small frown. “But if it makes you feel any better, I sometimes wish I was non-existent to my mother. She calls almost constantly. And she’s a bit crazy at times.”
He smiled a bit when Rowan chuckled and then he echoed his laughter as he relaxed. Maybe their day could be salvaged after all.
It wasn’t long until their food arrived, and it was delicious. Kasen ate in silence, though he occasionally glanced up to see that Rowan was enjoying his burger. He wondered if Boston had food like this. The south was all about grease and fatty foods.
As he plucked up his last French fry, Kasen felt a light nudge against his foot and he glanced up. Rowan seemed to be busy with finishing off his burger. Kasen lifted a brow, feeling the nudge again as he chewed his fry quietly. Maybe his foot was slipping or something. Right? Stuff like that happened sometimes, didn’t it?
Kasen licked his lips again, taking another sip of his root beer as he kept his blue eyes on the table. It was so much more interesting at the moment. Stop being ridiculous. Was the exact statement going through his mind. Who was he to jump to conclusions that Rowan was trying to flirt with him? He bit his lip, releasing a breath as he began to gather his trash and put it back onto the bright green tray before he offered to gather Rowan’s garbage, too.
He reached out for his empty fry boat, which Rowan decided to do at the same time. Their fingers touched and Kasen felt his face grow hotter than the sun as his eyes met Rowan’s. Rowan gave him a small smile. It was warm and friendly, and that made Kasen’s stomach feel funny again.
“Sorry,” Kasen said, a bit embarrassed. He slowly pulled his hand away, watching as Rowan finished putting his trash onto the tray before he stood up and took it over to the garbage can to dispose of it. Kasen waited patiently while Rowan went to the restroom, and when he returned, Kasen got up to follow him back out to the car.
It was quiet again as they headed back out onto the main road. He wasn’t sure where they were going to go now. Or perhaps Rowan was ready to go back home. Either way, Kasen was grateful for the time they’d spent together. He had enjoyed himself-something he didn’t seem to do that much anymore. He glanced up at the sky and frowned. Was it going to rain? It sure looked like it.
He glanced over to see Rowan tinkering with the heat. He had a very nice side profile. Rowan was a handsome guy. You need to stop checking him out. Kasen scolded himself mentally as he settled back into his seat again.
“So, where to now?” Rowan asked curiously.
Kasen blinked in surprise before he gave a small shrug, “I..I really don’t know,” He laughed.
“Well, we’ve still got a few hours of daylight to burn. We can go anywhere you want to. Or if you want to head back to Chartreuse, we can do that, too.”
Kasen wasn’t really ready for their day to end. He was looking forward to spending as much time with Rowan as possible. Was that insane? To want to spend more time with a guy he barely knew?
“Well,” Kasen finally said. “If we do go back to Chartreuse, maybe you’d like to come back to mine for a bit?” Was that too bold?
He glanced nervously up at Rowan again, who kept one hand on the wheel before turning his head to glance at Kasen with a small grin. “Yeah,” He nodded. “That would be great. We can do that.”
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Arriving back to Chartreuse hadn’t seemed as bad as it had two hours prior. Kasen had invited him back to his place, and Rowan couldn’t help but to feel a little nervous over the entire thing. He felt like a school boy who had a massive crush on a fellow school mate. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it.
He honestly couldn’t help but to feel that there could be potential here; with Kasen. Earlier, their hands had touched. His foot had hit Kasen’s, albeit by accident, but Kasen hadn’t complained. Surely if it had been unwanted contact, he would have said so, right?
Or maybe Rowan was looking too much into this. He tended to do that a lot. Tiny splashes of water began hitting against the windshield, pulling him from his thoughts as he turned on the wipers. He slowed down a bit, always such a safe driver. He couldn’t help it. He turned his lights on as an extra precaution.
He really hadn’t expected there to be this much rain today. But it seemed to be a surprise that snuck up on him when he was excited, especially when he forgot to check the weather channel before leaving home. Or, he could simply blame it on the fact he’d had a surprise visit from someone who needed ‘urgent’ medical attention for his hunting dog.
The thought made Rowan chuckle lightly as he continued through the somewhat ghost town. It was only six thirty. How in the hell did a town close up this early? It seemed everything was already closed except for the diner on Main st
reet. Ugh…no. He didn’t need to think about food again already.
It was only when they came by the dog park that he finally slowed, and then pulled over. He heard the surprise in Kasen’s voice.
“What’s wrong?” Kasen asked.
Rowan simply grinned at him before he put the car into park. He shrugged out of his jacket, leaving him only in a simple button up shirt as he opened his door and got out. He closed the door before he tilted his head back, allowing the rain to splash against his face as he laughed, quite happily.
For the briefest of moments, Rowan could remember his childhood; before everything became complicated; back when things were simple, and fun. Before he’d ever made a decision on what he was going to be. A time in which he could be whatever he wanted to be, if even just a pirate.
His smile grew bigger as he became soaked from the rain, dark strands clinging to his cheeks and forehead as he let out another laugh. It was the best feeling he’d had in a very long time. Completely content, a sense of belonging…..just right here in this very moment.
He heard as Kasen’s door closed, and then the gentle tone of the other’s voice reached his ears, pleasantly disrupting his thoughts.
“Are you okay?” Kasen asked.
Rowan finally opened his eyes, looking down at him as rain dripped from the tip of his nose. He gave him that same smile again as he nodded, “I’ve never been better, actually,” He promised.
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Kasen hadn’t been too sure of what was happening a few minutes ago. They were on their way back to his apartment, when Rowan pulled over. He watched in concern and confusion as the older male exited the vehicle, apparently oblivious of the rain that was pouring down all around them.
Kasen quickly took off his own jacket before getting out of the car. Moving around the car until he could see Rowan. The other man seemed to be just fine-happy, in fact. That smile was enough to warm Kasen’s cold skin as he returned it. He just couldn’t help himself. There was just something so kind and warm about the other’s smile.
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