by Jasmine Walt
Was it just me, or were things a little awkward? I was just about to excuse myself, head off, find Eamon, and do the proposed movie-night thing, when Ajitah broke the uncomfortable silence.
“So how are you coping with this?”
“Huh?”
His lips curled up slightly on one corner. “You find out you’re the gatekeeper to hell, you were kidnapped, and your life isn’t going to be what you thought it was . . . How are you coping with it all?”
How was I coping? He was, honest to God, the first person to ask me that. Oh, I’d had the exclamations, the validation, the awe and indignation on my behalf. But no one—not Eamon, not Drake, Aaron, or Carmella—had asked how I was coping. I’d gone from finding out what I was, to discovering I was a murderer, to learning my sin could be removed by helping people, and then straight to Ajitah’s case. I’d concentrated on anything but how I felt about it all, coping by throwing myself into action by finding solutions to this problem that I’d been presented with. My focus had been on the sin inside, on the marks that tainted me outside. I’d neglected the truth . . . that my life, this life I could have had with Eamon and my mother, had been stolen from me. The fact was that I had been manipulated into becoming a killer. My muscles quivered and my veins filled with heat.
A ball of rage was expanding in my chest.
Ajitah reached for me. “Malina, are you okay?”
Stepping back, I offered him a shaky smile. “I will be.”
I turned and bolted from the room.
24
I wasn’t sure how long I sat at the bottom of the pool after the water had absorbed the vibrations of my anger. The ball of rage was gone, diffused by the water. Thank goodness I’d found the pool in time; my affinity for water really came in handy.
It was peaceful down here, surrounded by a pocket of air and the soothing turquoise water. Maybe I could remain here indefinitely. Emerging meant accepting there was no quick fix, no hiding behind missions and actions. Emerging meant accepting that only time would heal.
A shadow flitted above the surface of the water.
Someone was there.
The bubble popped, propelling me into the air above. Wiping the water from my eyes, I spied Ajitah standing at the end of the pool.
“Hey.”
He tucked his hands into his pockets. “Nice pool.”
I hadn’t even noticed before, but I saw it through his eyes now. The kidney-shape structure, the diving boards, and the azure, cloudless sky visible through the glass dome. I began to haul myself out of the water. Crap, I was practically naked in my bra and knickers. It was like wearing a bikini, except this would be see-through. Sinking back into the water, I gestured to my clothes piled on the bench behind him.
“Could you just pass me my clothes?”
He turned quickly, but not fast enough to hide the flush that tainted his cheeks. He placed my items by the edge of the pool, stepped away, and turned his back on me.
I slipped out of the water and sloughed the moisture off my body with a flick of my wrist. Still a little damp, I quickly dressed.
I padded over to Ajitah. “Did you want to talk to me?”
“I was concerned about you.”
“Oh.”
“You ran off so suddenly. I was worried it was something I said. I gave you an hour . . .”
“An hour?”
He held up his hands. “Okay, maybe I should have given you longer?”
“No, it’s okay.”
Well, that answered my question about how long I could hold my body in a bubble under the water.
He dropped his hands to his sides. “I know we started off on the wrong foot, but if you need to talk, I’m a good listener.”
I sighed and sat down on the bench.
After a moment, Ajitah joined me.
“I just feel so lost. Eamon found me, but by doing that, he’s thrown me onto a predestined path I’m not sure I want. I mean, would I have wanted it if I’d been allowed to grow up with Eamon as my father? If I wasn’t his heir, if I didn’t have this taint on my soul, would I even care about helping people? I came with you to rescue the triplets, but would I have done that if I wasn’t going to get anything out of it in return?” I held up my arm. “Saving your boys removed three marks. Would I have bothered if my soul wasn’t on the line?”
I rested my head in my hands. “I was raised as an assassin, and I’m good at it. I enjoy the prep leading up to the kill, but I have to put that aside and save lives. I just don’t know if this is me, or if this is who I would have chosen to be if I hadn’t been taken from Eamon as a child. Ever since I found out who I’m supposed to be, I have to consciously remind myself not to kill. What normal person has to do that? What if, deep down, all I am is a murderer?”
His warm, large hand landed on the nape of my neck. “The fact that you’re asking these questions proves you’re a good person, Malina. Even as an assassin, you believed you were ridding the world of truly bad people. If you had known they were innocent, you wouldn’t have hurt them. And I believe that if I’d come to you when you were an assassin and asked for help getting my boys back, you wouldn’t have hesitated.”
I pulled my head from the cradle of my hands and looked up at him, wanting to believe that. “You do?”
He nodded. “I know bad people, Malina, and you’re not one of them.”
Why did his words matter so much?
The weight sitting on my chest eased a little. “Thank you.”
His hand was still on my neck, warm and comforting, his calloused thumb grazing my delicate skin as he ran it back and forth.
It felt . . . nice.
Ajitah’s pale eyes darkened as his pupils expanded, and they roved over my face, lingering on my lips once more. The calm between us was replaced by a strange magnetic tension that tightened with each passing moment.
He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. When he next spoke, his voice was low and husky. “What happened in the glass cage . . . I’m sorry I lost control.”
“Not your fault. We were both under the influence.”
“Yes.”
His thumb was no longer sweeping across my skin. In fact, he was suddenly completely still. His lips, brutal, perfect lips that knew how to claim . . . enticed me. I lifted my chin slightly, and he leaned in a fraction.
The doors smashed open.
“Wow, a pool!”
The triplets barreled in, followed closely by Drake.
Ajitah pulled away from me, his hand slipping from my neck, leaving it cold and bereft.
“Dad!” All three ran at Ajitah, leaping onto his lap and pulling him to the floor.
“These boys have way too much energy, so I thought a swim might tire them out,” Drake said.
Ajitah extricated himself from his children, chuckling softly. “A good idea, but unfortunately they can’t swim. We haven’t gotten around to learning yet. Have we, boys?”
“Aw, Dad, please!”
Man, they were so sweet. “I can teach them.”
Had I just said that? Was it too late to take it back?
“You can? She can! Dad?”
Three pairs of hopeful green eyes were pinned on me. Yep, too late to back out now.
Ajitah raised his brows in my direction. “Are you sure you’re up to this?”
Never been more uncertain in my life. “’Course I’m sure. And you guys can help.”
How bad could it be?
“Everything aches.” I was lying on the sofa in Ajitah’s sitting room in the East Wing.
It was ten o’clock, and the boys had crashed as soon as their heads hit the pillows. I finished off the chocolate bar I’d swiped from the kitchen—for once, Aria was nowhere to be found—and crumpled the wrapper in my hand.
Ajitah lifted my legs and plonked his butt on the sofa before dropping them onto his lap.
“Welcome to my world.”
I stared up at the ceiling. “How do you do it?”
He laughed softly. �
��I don’t know. I’m just used to it now.”
The boys were exhausting, but they were also funny, intelligent, and generally amazing. I was beginning to see the differences between them physically. Danny had a definite cowlick. Jimmy’s smile was a little lopsided. Adam’s nose turned up ever so slightly.
I’d gone back to my room to change into my swimsuit, and we’d spent an hour and a half doing more splashing around than learning to swim, after which Ajitah and I had given them rides up and down the pool while doing the backstroke.
Ajitah’s hands were resting on my feet, his thumb doing that back-and-forth thing again. He had that dazed look, as if he was off in his own thoughts. This man was so far removed from the one I’d first met, the one at The Circle, the one who’d tried to kill me. This was Ajitah in his comfort zone. Ajitah, the father. A man focused on his family. In a world of crazy, it was refreshing to find a segment of normality. For someone who flirted with danger daily, normal was a much-needed comfort blanket. Ajitah straddled the two worlds. A man who could face danger head-on, but who prioritized his home and family. This was a man I could care for. He turned his head and locked eyes with me, his grip on my feet tightening slightly. My throat was suddenly dry, and my heart pumped extra hard.
His throat bobbed. “Thank you for making this afternoon so special for my kids. They really like you.”
“They do?”
“Yes, and trust me, that’s a huge compliment. They’re pretty selective about who they let into their inner circle.”
“I guess busting them out of an underground facility must have given me some brownie points.”
He chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “That probably contributed, but it’s more than that. I’ll let you know what when I’ve figured it out.”
He was looking at me in that intense way again, forcing heat into my veins and teasing flutters in my belly. A movement in the archway leading to the corridor caught my attention.
Eamon.
I sat up, sliding my feet off Ajitah’s lap.
Eamon’s face was impassive. “Malina? Are you ready to watch a film?”
It was late, and all I wanted to do was space out, but I’d promised. “Yeah, sure.” I stood up, stretched, and offered Ajitah a smile. “See you tomorrow.”
“Enjoy the film.”
I followed Eamon out into the corridor and toward the staircase. He didn’t say a word all the way to the foyer, even though I could sense he was bursting to say something. His whole demeanor when he’d found me with Ajitah was off. If we were going to be living under the same roof for the foreseeable future, I needed to clear the air.
“Do you have a problem with me spending time with Ajitah?”
He paused on the bottom step and glanced back at me. “Why would you think that?”
“Because of the way you reacted when you saw us together just now.”
“I didn’t react in any particular way.”
“Okay, sorry, the way you didn’t react. You were too . . . unreacty.”
“Malina, unreacty is not a word.”
“It is now. And stop changing the subject.”
He turned toward the sitting room.
Now he was avoiding the question. “Ajitah is a good guy.”
“I know. But if we’re going to be working together, it’s best to keep a professional distance, don’t you think?” He shot me a sidelong glance.
He had a point. If Ajitah and I did hook up and our relationship went sour, it could cause problems for us working and living together, not to mention what it would do to the boys. Not that I had any intention of anything happening, but it just sucked having to take the option off the table.
“I get it. No hanky-panky.” I smiled sweetly.
His shoulders relaxed. “I’m glad we’re on the same page. Now, I have quite a collection of DVDs. What are you in the mood for?”
He took a few steps toward the antique unit by the huge, wall-mounted, flat screen television and pulled it open to reveal row upon row of DVDs.
I suppressed a yawn. “Ooh.” I moved past him and examined the titles until my gaze fell on one of my all-time favorites. I pulled out the case and held it out to Eamon. “This one, for sure.”
“Avatar?” He grinned. “I love that film.”
“What are we watching?” Drake said from behind a huge bowl of popcorn.
Eamon held up the DVD.
“Awesome film.”
My stomach let out an almighty grumble.
Eamon pressed his lips together. “You need to eat every two hours.”
I shrugged. “I had a chocolate bar about ten minutes ago.”
He blew out an exasperated breath. “You must start taking better care of yourself. While awake, you must eat at two-hour intervals. High-protein foods are best, but sugary snacks work too if you’re in a bind. You need to get into a routine. I won’t always be there to remind you.”
I held up my hands. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful.” I flashed him my sweetest smile, just wanting to erase the concerned frown from his face. “So are you planning on going somewhere?”
His frown evaporated. “Of course not. You need food. Aria?”
We waited for her to materialize.
She didn’t.
Eamon strode out of the room. “There should be something in the fridge we can have.”
“Maybe the kids broke her?” Drake said. “Those boys have way too much energy.”
I tried to stifle a yawn but failed.
“You sure you’re up for a film?”
I waved him off. “I can handle it.”
Eamon returned with a tray of nachos, club sandwiches, and cans of cola. He placed the tray on the coffee table and faltered, the color draining from his face.
“Eamon?” Drake rushed to his side.
Eamon straightened. “I’m fine.” He moved over to the DVD player and began fiddling with it.
Drake caught my eye. See, he mouthed.
I nodded. The concerns he’d voiced at Loki’s didn’t seem so paranoid now. For a moment, I would have sworn Eamon had been in pain.
Eamon stepped back from the player, rubbing his hands together. “It’s been a while since I watched this.”
We settled on the sofas—Drake and I on the three-seater and Eamon on his overstuffed recliner. Toto padded into the room from the foyer and lay at my feet. The opening credits ran, the movie began, and that was about as far as I got before sleep pulled me under.
Suffocating, heavy darkness surrounded me. Cold. Desolate. Alone . . . no, not alone. There was something with me. Something alive.
Not ready, not yet.
A woman? “Who’s there?”
I’m ready. So ready . . .
A different voice, higher pitched than the first.
If she could hear. If she could see. If she could know . . .
A third voice. Lower, but still undeniably feminine.
Too many ifs, sister. Too much of nothing.
No . . . Wait, she’s here. Can you feel it?
Little hellhound, little anomaly, can you hear us? Do you see?
My gut twisted. What was this? A dream?
She can’t see. It’s not time.
She’s with the living. She doesn’t know. Patience.
But she must. She is the key.
“Hey, I can hear you. Who are you? What do you want?”
Freedom.
“Freedom from what?”
Freedom from the darkness.
Not yet, but soon . . .
25
“Can we come with you?” All three kids hovered around my dresser as I got ready to apply my makeup.
It had been almost a week since we’d gotten the boys back. Brahma Corp had raided the facility under Richmond Park and found it deserted. The Kubera had moved on, but the gods weren’t giving up. They were determined to find out where the sect had settled and suspected the park facility might not be the only one of its kind. There was
still no news of Narada’s whereabouts. I’d spent most of my week alternating between training, swimming, and playing with the boys, and now they seemed to trail me wherever I went.
Jimmy picked up my brown shimmery eyeshadow and turned it over.
Ajitah appeared in the doorway to my bedroom. “Boys, come on. Let’s allow Malina a little privacy.”
I met his gaze in the mirror, one brown contact in, the other eye blazing amber. “They’re okay.”
“Why are you hiding your eyes?”
I covered my eyes nine out of ten times when out, particularly when on kills, and mainly to prevent people from remembering me, but now I wasn’t an assassin . . .
“Force of habit, I guess.”
I popped the contact back in its case and took out the one I’d already put in.
“Much better.” He smiled.
Danny picked up a different tube. “What’s this?”
“Lip gloss.”
“Like the icky stuff you put on your lips?”
“It’s not icky. It’s supposed to make boys want to kiss her,” Jimmy said in a serious tone.
“Boys like Dad?” Adam added in a sly voice.
My neck grew hot.
Ajitah cleared his throat. “Boys, come on, it’s time for a bath and bed.”
“Aw,” they said in unison.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’ll tell you what. Tomorrow, I’ll spend the entire day playing with you guys. How’s that? We can build a fort in the garden.”
“Can we build a tree house?” Danny asked.
“We can certainly ask if that’s possible.”
Our garden was massive now, with tons of space for the boys to run. We didn’t have a tree large enough for a tree house, but I bet if we asked Aria, one would materialize.
Satisfied with the plan, the boys ran out of the room to join Ajitah in the corridor.
He turned to herd them away. “Have a wonderful time.”
“Thanks.”
Ajitah wasn’t invited because Eamon was right—we needed to keep our relationship professional. Drake was coming with me, but he wasn’t a threat to my professionalism because I didn’t get the urge to curl up in Drake’s lap every time he was near. Everything else was fine with Ajitah when the kids were around. The focus was on them, and if I was being honest, I was kinda falling for the little tykes. But once they were tucked up in bed and it was just Ajitah and me, it became increasingly difficult to keep my distance.
