"Who are you here with anyways?" she says and looks around. Fuck. I can still basically smell the sex in the air from when Brett and I did it in the kitchen.
After the many times we hooked up in the office, I won’t let this be the way we get caught. The first one time we decide to hang out at my house.
"Kim, I’m going to have to ask you to leave please, let's talk about this tomorrow."
"No, I'm not going anywhere. I want to hang out with you and talk about the distillery project and how it's going. Who's here?" Kim rushes past me. I try to step in front of her but she sidesteps me and actually trots to the door that leads to the deck.
"No one, Kim, don't please." Kim runs out, and suddenly all I can do is spectate.
"Oh my gosh." she laughs. "Well, hello to you Miss Brett Blue." Brett's face turns ruby red.
"Hi Kim," Brett says sheepishly.
"Oh, wow, this is quite an amusing sight here." She crosses her arms and steps toward me. "The billionaire of Blackwell and his little hook-up girl."
"Kim, I’m not going to say it again. Time to go.”
"Oh, so now I see why you don't want me anymore, but you know what, I bet this is a sight that a lot of people would be interested to see." She takes out her phone as if she's going to snap a pic of Brett in only her apron but I step in front.
"Listen Kim, whatever you think about me that's fine, but don't let it affect what you think about her."
"Oh yeah that's fine, but I’m going to snap a pic." Kim literally runs to the side of the deck, snaps a picture of Brett and I and heads into the house.
I start after her. I can hear her footsteps heading for the door.
"Kim, you don't want to do this! Why are you being like this?"
Almost at the door frame, she turns back toward me for a moment. "Look, Sebastian sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, it doesn't matter why."
“Give me your phone,” I seethe.
“No,” she hisses.
She leaves, heading outside and walking down the street. I want to stop her but there's nothing I can do. Short of physical force, I can call the cops, but what are they going to do? I rush back to the deck outside because no matter what happens here, any slandering of me, I don't care.
People can say whatever the fuck they want to say about me. They’ve been talking shit about me from the day I made my first dollar. What I won't tolerate is if they're talking shit about Brett. But when I walk back to the deck, she's gone. All there is are two plates with steak and potatoes and wine glasses sitting there untouched.
"Fuck," I yell.
A mix of rage and panic surges through me, and my heart speeds. I run back into the house and I hear something at the front door. I rush to it and see Brett in my foyer about to leave. The apron is on the floor, and she’s fully clothed.
She opens the door, and there’s just enough sunlight in the fading sky for me to see a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Goodbye Sebastian." she says. “Goodbye forever, asshole."
“Brett, just give me a minute! I can explain what just happened.”
“You said you never slept with an employee. Sure seems like you and Kim share something. Chalk one up in the liar department.”
“Kim and I were together one night, before she ever worked at Blackwell.”
“Oh, so you slept with her and then you hired her. Well I’m glad you can get off on a technicality.”
I block the doorframe so she can’t leave. I’ve never seen her this worked up.
“It’s more complicated than that. She was hired by a different department I had no idea. We’ve come to terms with the night we spent together. It was just that--one night.”
She shakes her head. “I thought I was special,” she shrugs. “I’m not. Please, move Sebastian. I would like to leave now.”
I hesitate, and then finally move aside.
As I watch her silhouette walk away, the sky seems to fade from blue to black in an instant.
This fall night couldn’t be more gorgeous. I guess Brett and I were only mean to be a thing in the thunder and the rain, like our first night.
Worst of all, I never got to tell her the four words I’d been thinking about all night.
I love you, Brett.
Twenty One - Brett
It's late on Saturday, and the locals of the Watering Hole are buzzing around us enjoying themselves. All I know is I'm getting drunk tonight.
Crystal takes a sip of her Pineappletini. I suck on the the straw of my Long Island ice tea. Baseball highlights play in the background buzz of the bar, and the scene cuts to an interview of baseball’s bad boy Jake Napleton.
I take another sizeable sip of my drink, unfocusing my eyes.
Crystal nods and processes the sob story I’ve just filled her in on.
"You can’t trust any men. That’s the moral of this story. Except for Zane and Lacy.” She furrows her brow. “Zane didn’t lie to Lacy, did he? He’s a dick if he did.”
As morose as I am, I can’t help but smile a little. "I think I just wanted to believe that a billionaire playboy type like him could have a genuine connection with someone like me. But apparently, I was very wrong. But I'm not wrong about wanting another drink right now. Mason can you get on it? Shots here!" I nod toward the bartender and point to Crystal and I.
"I mean, that's all just too crazy to imagine. So, this Kim girl just came in and you heard everything?"
"Well, I heard her saying that she and Sebastian had a past when weeks ago Sebastian distinctly told me that he had never had an affair with an employee before."
"So Sebastian was lying."
"Right, and if he’s lying about that one thing, who's to say he's not lying about lots of other things.” I take a deep breath. “I admit the sex was so good. It was incredible, mind-blowing. I can't imagine doing that with anyone else but him."
"So he owns your pleasure?" Crystal says, stirring her drink.
"No,” I quip back. “He doesn't own my pleasure...I just really like having sex with him. Fuck, I'm a bad person." I let out a sigh, and just in time, we’re rescued by the bartender.
Mason puts the shots in front of us and we cheers greedily.
"To whisky" I say, and we raise our shot glasses.
"To whisky!" Crystal smiles. "You know, I've stopped taking so many shots. But for you, for a friend in need, I’ll take this bad boy down." We clink our glasses and both scrunch our faces as we take the shots down.
We slam the shot glasses back onto the bar.
"Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that, it seems really dramatic. Have you talked to Sebastian since then?"
"No, I say. I stopped answering his e-mails, and I blocked his number on my phone."
"Oh wow, taking extreme measures. You haven’t done that since..."
"The one who shall not be named. I know. But I'm just done with him. You know me; what's the one thing I don't stand? What’s my dealbreaker?"
"Cheaters," Crystal affirms, because she knows me.
"Right, I'm sorry that's a deal breaker. If he's hooking up with this Kim Murphy lawyer chick on the side, I just don't think I can look him in the eye now."
"So you're going to go back to work right? Or are you a best-selling author yet?” she jokes.
I roll my eyes. "The book is fine. It’s almost done.”
“Glad you...finished it in spite of your lack of inspiration.”
I take another sip of my long island. The book is exactly what I don’t want to talk about right now. Sebastian was such a good inspiration, it’s a pity he had to turn out how he did.
“Work is going to be awkward but I'll probably go back on Monday, it will just be very different and Kim knows, what if she tells other people in the office? Oh my gosh, I'm going to be like the 'office slut'. No, this isn't happening." I pound my fist on the countertop. "I never thought I'd be like 'that girl' and here I am, I'm 'that girl'.
"You're not that girl." Crystal shakes her he
ad.
"Ok so, I know I just told you tonight but let me rehash it for you. I've been sleeping with my boss for weeks now, using him as inspiration to write the best romance novel anyone has ever written."
"Ok, so it makes you 'that girl' how?"
“I signed an NDA with him, which I'm breaking by the way, to tell you this, so I'm not supposed to tell anyone I'm just hooking up with the boss behind everyone's back."
"Look," Crystal says. “I know you probably think this is the end of the world but I mean there are a lot of guys; look around." I looked around the bar, there are only two guys in the bar that aren't with girls and they're both playing pool. They're not super attractive and one has shaggy hair, the other one has a buzzed head. The only hot guy in the place is the bartender, Mason. And I’ve been noticing one of the waitresses shooting him looks all night.
"I appreciate your attempt at comfort, but there aren’t a lot of guys as ripped and as driven as Sebastian."
"He really is ripped huh?" Crystal asks.
"So ripped, I mean you wouldn't think it because he wears a suit a lot but he's basically a cowboy in a suit."
"We can agree that we're not gonna talk about this anymore and focus on getting drunk," She nods.
"I can get on that pony and ride it late into the night," I laugh, half-heartedly. We clink glasses, drink and laugh into the night and I try to forget that I'm in quite a pickle. Crystal gets up to go to the bathroom, and I stare into my drink. For days at the office; even just yesterday, Sebastian was fucking me senseless against his marble counter island. These are some of the most erotic experiences in my life and now what's going to happen to us, we're just going to not talk anymore? I take a sip of my Long Island and let the alcohol linger on my throat. Something tells me we're not over yet.
A few shots deep ― the buzz starts to sink in ― the alcohol crosses through my veins and I feel good.
Crystal is off in the corner dancing with some cute young guy and I’m feeling a little bit claustrophobic and stuffy inside, so I head outside the Watering Hole into the open night air. I wave hi to the bouncer in on my way outside so he'll let me back in, and join the group of people standing outside ― mostly smoking.
I don’t join them in their cigarette smoking, instead I take in the night air, making sure to breathe upwind from the smokers. I look up at the sky, I can tell it’s a cloudy night. In the distance, thunder rumbles and I’m reminded of that very first night I slept overnight with Sebastian in his office and how ridiculous we were together.
Together.
The word rings through me. What a shame we never truly were able to be together.
The implications of yesterday still haven’t fully sunken in or maybe I just can’t process them. I don’t know.
Maybe that’s just how all men are, that’s why I left my ex-boyfriend, only to find more or the same, well who knows?... I think about the story of Lacy and Zane, how their romance was just perfect. They were all hot, forbidden, sexy love in the office. It’s just simply true that real love in the real world won’t be matched by its love on paper because in books, there doesn’t need to be any hurt feelings. I resolve to write a section of my book though, where Zane and Lacy take a horrific downturn, to at least match with reality to a point.
I take a deep breath wishing that the stars were showing tonight, but the clouded sky is quite appropriate for how I’m feeling, dark cloudy ― the future ahead feels murky. I don’t even know why I should show up for work on Monday but I’ve still got to help my Mom pay down our debts.
Just when I’m about to head inside to the bar, I hear a voice to the side of me, I spin around.
“Hey there,” the deep voice says.
I turn and see Sebastian standing there in jeans, boots, black T-shirt and a baseball cap.
“What do you want?” I say crossing my arms.
“Brett, you just ran out yesterday, you didn’t give me a chance to let you know what was going on. I want to explain.”
“Explain what?” I say, “Explain how you’ve been having dueling romances with two of your employees at the same time?”
“Look Kim was drunk and that was incredibly weird and awkward. I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he says. “But you’ve got to trust me on this, we haven’t done anything in quite some time.”
I step towards him enough that I can smell his cologne again. Even in the dark, only having the light of the moon and street lamps, he looks gorgeous as ever.
“You told me specifically when I asked you, do you do this with many employees? You said, No never, right?” I say.
“No never, as in, never any more. Look, me and Kim happened many moons ago, years ago. Since then, I’ve vowed not to be with an employee, past or present. But I broke that rule with you, it’s true.”
“So since we started hooking up, you haven’t been with anyone else?”
I want to fall into his open arms but still something is holding me back.
“Since I’ve been with you, I haven’t been with anyone else,” he confirms.
I try to gauge if he’s telling the truth. “I really want to believe you,” I murmur.
He rakes a hand through his hair.
“Fuck, this is stressful, you realize I’ve been looking for you all over tonight?”
“And I’ve been trying to get away from you and not see you tonight after yesterday, I just needed some space.”
We pause and there’s an awkward air in between us. But the silence is broken by a hoard of women who walk on the sidewalk toward the bar, hooting and hollering in what looks to be some kind of bachelorette party. And guess who’s leading the charge, but Samantha, a soccer mom who we sat with during the high school soccer game weeks ago.
“Oh my Gosh!” Samantha says as she runs up to us, “it’s my two favorite soccer fans,” she say enthusiastically. She’s clearly drunk.
“How are y’all doing?” She hugs me and then hugs Sebastian, pushing her breasts into his chest just a little bit too much for my liking.
“Thank you so much for agreeing to meet up with me next week,” she says to Sebastian, “You won’t regret it and I’m going to be your next, best business investor, you’ll see. And who knows I could even be more than investment,” she winks, she lays her hand on his chest, then draws it off. Sebastian’s eyes meet mine, and I’m sure he must notice the daggers I’m sending him.
“Y’all headed inside?” Samantha asks cheerily.
I nod.
“Have a good night,” Sebastian says.
The bouncer checks her ID and she heads inside.
“What the fuck was that?” I ask Sebastian.
“I have not talked to her for some time now. That’s the first I’ve seen her since the soccer game.”
“Yeah, well I wish I could trust you on that.” I sigh deeply, and look at him. His eyes glisten in the moonlight. “Did you think we’d be more than this?” I stare down at my hands, and I’m suddenly heavy-hearted. “We were each other’s fantasy on paper; nothing more, nothing less. I mean, should I really expect that a billionaire hung like a stallion is going to stroll into my life and make me his one and only? The problem isn’t anything with you--it’s that I wasn’t realistic. So have a nice night, Sebastian.”
He raises his voice to protest as I head back inside the bar. “Can’t you at least let me try to explain?”
The buzz courses through me, and maybe I should give him a chance. But something inside me reverts to the very first time I shut down Sebastian. I spin toward him, put a hand on his chest, and stop him from moving forward, lightly touching his chest. And those damn muscular pecs.
Still, I resist him.
I flash my eyes up toward him, and maybe it’s the way I found out my ex-boyfriend Patrick was keeping five different girlfriends and I was just his Tuesday girl, when he let me believe I was the one.
“No,” is the word that crosses my lips, and I swear I can feel a chill come over Sebastian’s body. He swal
lows hard, but says nothing.
“Besides,” I say, and look him dead in the eye. “You couldn’t even give me all my fantasies.”
As soon as I say it, I regret it, but it’s too late. It can’t be unsaid.
Even if Sebastian’s in the wrong, calling out his lack of desire to give me a threesome is over the line.
He looks like I’ve just shot him in the gut.
In the distance, the thunder rumbles, and Sebastian turns and saunters away into the night.
I’m left with a slightly empty feeling in my heart. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I want him to fight for me. I want this to be different.
I want to be his one and only.
It’s true. I’m in love with Sebastian Blackwell.
And I’m likely just one of many.
Monday at the office, the vibe seems a little bit off, and not only with me. Bob gets to work a little bit late and smelling of alcohol. I wonder if his problems are like mine and for the first time in a long time, I have some empathy for him and all of his creepiness. As creepy as he is, maybe he has some redeeming qualities about him. When I go into a meeting later that day for the cross-company task force I'm on talking about the construction of the new distillery, I'm surprised to find that Sebastian isn't the one running the meeting. On the other hand, Kim is standing there with a sly smile on her face as I walk through the door frame.
"Hello everyone." she says. Troy follows me in.
"So it's great to be here, Mr. Blackwell couldn't make it today he had something come up, so actually I'm going to be taking point on this task force starting now. The first order of business is, I'm going to have each one of you write a little synopsis about what you're actually bringing to the table for the task force. So here's a piece of paper." She hands blank pieces of paper.
"Now, if you'll just spend ten minutes writing that out, we'll be able to get on with the meeting. Sounds good? Great." she says without waiting to see if there's a reaction from the audience. I sigh and Troy frowns as well.
"What the fuck is this shit?" Troy mutters next to me.
Boss with Benefits Page 17
