by Meg Collett
I scooted forward to see more of Luke’s profile. The moon’s silver light occasionally sliced through the tops of the trees around us and lit up his face, making him look like a supernatural creature with blue skin and dark, black eyes. I liked the look on him; I liked that he was dangerous and intimidating. And, damn, I really wanted to make out with him.
“We occasionally go out and catch one for testing,” he said finally, distracting me from my thoughts.
“Like the lab rats?” I asked, completely and utterly surprised. This was not what I’d expected.
Luke sighed. “The lab techs need live subjects sometimes.”
“I thought you didn’t approve of Dean’s methods?”
Hatter shot a careful glance toward Luke, who didn’t pay him any attention. “I don’t. But these tests are important. The more we understand about ’swangs, the better prepared we are.”
“So you would torture an animal.”
“Ollie, ’swangs are evil monsters.”
“Are sharks evil monsters because they kill people sometimes too?” I fired back. I didn’t doubt that ’swangs were bad, but I didn’t like anything being called evil.
“We’re losing this war,” Luke said. “If we don’t figure out some other way, we’re going to get our asses kicked. Or worse.”
Luke had spoken like this before the first time I’d seen the rats in the lab. I wanted to know why he thought like this, how his opinions of war fit in with the man I knew today. And he couldn’t run from my questions now. “What could be worse than losing?”
“Losing what we’ve been fighting for this entire time. Humanity.”
“How would that happen?”
“Sweet Ollie, I know you’re new to this,” Hatter said, rolling his eyes to the roof of the van, “but don’t get Luke started on his beliefs about humanity and why we fight this war. Unless you want to be bored to tears.”
I swatted Hatter’s hat down over his eyes and looked back at Luke. “So what could possibly be worse than the world turning into one big Fear Island?”
“That would be a good band name,” Hatter mumbled, pulling out his phone to make a note of it.
“There’s a wrong way to win a war.” At Luke’s words, Hatter snorted, but I let Luke continue. “If we win by losing ourselves, by losing what we were fighting for, then we never really win against the ’swangs. If we lose what makes us human then we haven’t won anything at all.”
“And what makes us human?”
“Our weaknesses: fear and pain. The very things that Dean would want to eradicate in an army.”
Luke glanced up at the rearview mirror and met my eyes. His look conveyed all I needed to know. He meant an army of Ollies, fearless and unfeeling, making war too easy, would mean losing our humanity to win the war. Luke played along with Dean’s game so Dean wouldn’t take things a step further and start bringing in more civvies like me to train.
I carefully held his gaze until he looked away. He shouldn’t have to apologize for his beliefs, for thinking if people were trained to be like me, we would lose our humanity. I understood why he thought this way after his childhood with a father like Killian Aultstriver, who would do anything, even abuse his own son, to win a war. I still didn’t want him to see that he’d hurt me in ways with which I was all too familiar. Familiar being the bad monster everyone has to either abandon or try to break apart.
* * *
Reaching the fishing village didn’t take long, which turned out to be kind of a bummer because I still needed time to wrap my head around this wild plan. By the time we pulled into the small town, which consisted of one street, no red lights, and a twenty-four-hour convenience store, the night’s light came from the moon and a sputtering spotlight above the store’s parking lot.
We were in ’swang territory now. I almost felt them singing to my bones.
Luke made a couple of passes through the town, which felt more and more like a ghost town. “Where is everyone?” I whispered.
“Brown bears.”
“What?” I shot forward over the console, excited to see a bear. “Where?”
“Bear curfew.” Luke’s mouth twisted up like he was smirking at me. If he wasn’t careful, he might risk actually looking human for a second.
I rolled my eyes at him. “What’s that?”
“In remote areas like this, the curious bears get a little too bold and cause a lot of trouble, so everyone stays inside when it’s dark. It’s safer.”
“And convenient for ’swang hunters,” I added.
“What do you think about that alley?” Hatter asked Luke. He pointed toward a narrow, unlit alley between a closed grocery store and a dry cleaner.
I wrinkled my nose. “It looks sketchy.”
“It’s perfect,” Luke corrected. He did a quick U-turn and parked the van on the other side of the road, in the convenience store’s parking lot, which was completely empty. He turned off the engine and looked back at me. “You’re staying in here.”
“But—”
“I mean it, Ollie. Stay in here. Hatter and I have a method, and we need to focus. I can’t be worried about where you are.”
“What if something happens?”
“Then we will be running straight back to the van anyway. You have to promise me.”
I didn’t want to, but I knew I would be in their way. My training wasn’t even close to being ready for this level of hunting. Luke had assured me countless times that my victory over the ’swang in Kodiak had been pure luck. I hated to admit it, but after all I’d learned about ’swangs, I kind of believed him, though I never told him that.
“Fine,” I agreed. “I promise. But be careful.”
“We will.” Luke waved off my concern as he hopped out of the truck and joined Hatter at the back of the van, where they unloaded supplies. I climbed into the passenger seat to see things better and not be in their way.
As I watched, I found another level of respect for Luke and Hatter. Gone was his half-crazy, totally weird attitude; Hatter worked with silent efficiency, handing back rope and netting without Luke having to ask. They both worked fast, communicated little, and handled their supplies with knowledge and a wary sense of battle. I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants as Luke slung a rope over his shoulder, strapped some knives to his thighs, and closed the van door.
He walked up to my side of the van and opened the door. Without asking, he lifted a small vest around me and guided my hands through the openings. He tugged on the zipper, his knuckles skimming up my chest. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned in closer, his eyes going to my lips. He lifted my hair from the back of my neck and, with his other hand, did up the throat guard. I let out a long breath to keep my hands from shaking.
“Stay put.” Surprising me completely, he kissed me, lips skimming mine for a brief second before he stepped back and closed the door, sealing me in with my thrumming heart and flushed skin. He joined Hatter by the road.
Instead of going straight into the alley like I expected, they split off in different directions: Luke with the rope and net, Hatter with the rats and blood. In moments, the darkness had swallowed them whole. I checked the street constantly, looking for ’swangs and brown bears. Every shadow could be danger. My stomach twisted with nerves. I was scared for Luke, and the fear came as a complete and utter surprise to me.
I huddled down in my seat and tugged on the uncomfortable throat guard, squinting into the darkness and hoping to catch any glimpse of them. I didn’t.
I estimated half an hour passed. I shifted in my seat, my legs and ass numb. I should have asked how long they thought this would take. Then I would’ve known how long was too long, how long was dead long. I wanted to poke my head out the door and whisper-shout for them, but I knew that would be a horrible idea. I sighed and told myself patience was a virtue.
A shout came from the dark alley.
I reared up in my seat, eyes wide, and a gasp lodged in my throat. I stared, unblinking, into the dar
kness of the alley. I didn’t know if the shout had been one for help or because they were struggling to wrangle the creature. But I hadn’t seen anything walk into the alley.
I strained, listening for anything else, but heard nothing.
One more minute, I told myself. I’d give them one more minute, and if they didn’t come out by then, I was going in. One minute.
I looked in the back and grabbed a lethal-looking knife with a curving blade from Luke’s stash. I didn’t know how to use it, but I figured anything was better than nothing. I didn’t have a clock to count down the time, but it felt long enough. With held breath, I opened the passenger door and slid out, my feet crunching quietly as they hit the pavement.
Not wanting to risk shutting the door all the way, I left it slightly ajar before creeping across the parking lot. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness, but eventually, the street in front of me and the grocery store beyond came into focus. I crept closer, every step bringing me to the alley’s dark mouth. No more shouts or scuffling or struggle sounded from the blackness.
Once I was in the middle of the street, I paused. Maybe they were okay, and the shout was normal. I’d ruin everything if I went in there now, but then again, Hatter and Luke could already be dead with all the time I’d wasted trying to decide what to do. I adjusted my grip on the knife and looked both ways down the street. No movement.
Luke would be so pissed if I messed this up, and he’d said they would run right back to the van if anything went wrong. Chewing on the inside of my lip, I tried to decide. If I waltzed into that alley, and screwed everything—
“Ollie!”
I flinched at the yell; it sounded like it was coming from right beside me. Without thinking, I shot across the street and dove into the alley’s shadows.
It was darker in here, but I didn’t wait for my eyes to adjust. I crashed down the alley, stumbling over trashcans and bags of garbage smelling like rotten fish. “Luke!” I shouted. “Hatter!”
“Over here!”
I ran to the end of the alley, which was blocked off with a brick wall and a large metal dumpster. Beside the dumpster, Hatter crouched.
Blood had splattered everywhere. On the ground. On the dumpster. It coated Hatter’s arms up to his elbows. There was so much of it that I almost didn’t see Luke. Almost.
He lay crumpled on the ground. His vest and throat shield ripped off. Jagged claw marks shredded his thermal shirt. His chest was ribbons. Red ribbons of blood. Next to him was a dead ’swang, a dagger shoved through its left eye. The metallic smell of blood hit me so hard that I almost doubled over and gagged.
“Is he okay?” I asked, frantic as I knelt next to Hatter, whose hand was a bloody mess as he tried to press a rag against Luke’s chest.
Luke weakly ran his gaze over me, making certain I was intact. “Take her.” His words scratched together, and he coughed, the sound thick and wet. “Get her out of here.”
“That’s really sweet, but you’re not exactly in the position to make me.” I set my knife aside and pressed my trembling hands against his chest, shoulder to shoulder with Hatter. I turned to him and asked, “What the hell happened?”
“The ’swang snuck up on us. We gotta get him to the van.”
“Okay.” I jumped over Luke’s body and kicked away the ’swang’s legs. I was ready to help Hatter lift Luke when I heard it.
Down the alleyway, at our only exit, claws scratched over the ragged pavement. Bright eyes stared back at us from twenty feet away. Breathing, heavy huffing in the cool night air, rumbled down the shadows of the alley. The air suddenly smelled of rank, wet dog.
I didn’t want to count. The pack of ’swangs was too thick, too damning. Hatter leapt to his feet. He tried to hold up his knife, but it tumbled from his hand and clattered to the ground. He swore viciously and stooped to pick it up. Only then did I notice he was missing a finger, blood gushing down his forearm from the gaping hole.
“Hatter,” I whispered, eyes returning to the ’swangs standing at the end of the alley. “What do we do?”
“Run.” Luke’s hand wrapped around my ankle, like he could push me to safety.
“Fuck!” Hatter shouted in frustration. I glanced down; he still hadn’t picked up the dagger. His fingers wouldn’t close around the hilt. “My hand won’t . . .”
Understanding, I stooped down and grabbed both of our knives. Hatter took his back with his other hand. Luke and I hadn’t trained with knives yet, but I would have to make due. I glanced around, my eyes falling on a ladder going up to the grocery store’s roof.
I nodded toward it. “Can you get Luke up that ladder?”
“Maybe. But—”
“Then do it. Can they follow you up it?”
“They can’t climb, but they could jump from the dumpster.”
“Okay. I won’t let them get to it. Just go. I’ll meet you at the van.”
“Ollie—”
“Just fucking go!”
I didn’t wait for Hatter’s answer. I kept picturing Luke’s shredded chest when I turned to face the ’swangs once again. I adjusted my grip on the knife, turning the blade downward, like I’d seen in the movies. When I heard Hatter scuffling behind me with Luke, I took a step forward to put distance between the fight and Hatter’s retreat.
I bounced on the balls of my feet and stretched out my neck. My skin prickled with excitement, my red murder haze settling like a fog around me. “Come on, you fuckers!” I shouted down the alley, craving blood and death. “Let’s do this!”
She smells good . . . Her skin is like silk . . . Where is her fear . . . Why isn’t she afraid . . . She’s going to taste good.
Their thoughts hit me like a train, and I stumbled back with a hiss. Shut up! I needed to focus on the fight and that wouldn’t happen if they kept talking about how good I smelled.
Did she hear us . . . That’s impossible . . . But why isn’t she reacting . . . Someone call for Hex.
“Yeah, I hear you. So either come on and fight or go chat elsewhere.”
Their laughter vibrated across my mind. Inky black bodies undulated in the shadows, and I didn’t know where one ’swang ended and the next began. But judging by the amount of thoughts running through my head, the alley was at capacity.
Hex will love this . . . Save him a piece . . . He’ll want to know what she tastes like . . . Maybe he’ll keep her as a pet.
I shifted and glanced over my shoulder without completely looking away from the ’swangs. Hatter and Luke were gone from the end of the alleyway, and I caught a glimpse of Hatter’s boot disappearing over the ladder. I was tempted to follow, but if I did there would be no one between them and the ’swangs. I had to stay and fight.
I focused back on the ’swangs, forcing their endless thoughts out of my head. Spotting a rock at the toe of my boot, I kicked it at them with all my strength. It pinged off a ’swang’s chest, but the massive dog didn’t flinch.
I stood too far away to see my reflection in their eyes, but their gaping mouths grinned back at me as they took a collective step farther into the alley. Drool, long and thick as ropes, dripped from their teeth. Their eyes shone wide and unblinking, the slinking of their bodies lost to the deep shadows. I picked out the biggest one—he was twice the size of the ’swang I’d killed before coming to Fear University—and decided to attack him first.
As I was about to dart forward, I sensed a shift in the ’swangs’ focus. At first I worried they’d heard Hatter on the roof, but the creatures shifted to the side, their heads twisted over their shoulders.
Hex . . . Hex . . . He’s here.
From the cleared path down the middle of the alley prowled the biggest ’swang I’d ever seen. His paws—thudding over the pavement and sending vibrations up my shin bones—were the size of my head. Unlike the other ’swangs, his jaw stayed closed, his black fur blending with the shadows around him, so that he seemed to command the rippling, pulsing darkness. His bright, glowing eyes revealed his steady
focus: me.
As he advanced farther into the alley, his thoughts thankfully blank, I realized a normal person would be scared. I should have gone for the ladder when I had the chance and tried to fight them off from up there. But I didn’t. And I kind of relished the idea of fighting this monster.
I narrowed my eyes, staring deep into his, my inverted reflection unflinching. Remembering Luke’s lessons to steady my breathing, I closed my mouth and breathed through my nose. With everything I had, I focused.
Let’s go, motherfucker, I directed toward the ’swang.
Instead of pouncing like I expected, the ’swang jerked to a stop. He cocked his head and scented me, looking me straight in the eyes. Because I was staring back, matching him gaze for gaze, I saw when the recognition clicked and the hunger cleared from his eyes.
Olesya?
Fear, heady like a blast of adrenaline straight to my heart, jolted through me at hearing my name. My full name. The name only my mother had called me.
A shrill, endless honking sounded on the road. Behind the pack of ’swangs, the van careened into view, a mad Hatter behind the wheel. He screamed at me from the rolled-down passenger window, but the screeching in my ears blocked the sound.
What did you say? I asked Hex. My knees wobbled. How do you know my name?
Something human and warm flashed through the ’swang’s eyes. The expression chilled me worse than anything I’d seen these creatures do before. From the back of my mind, I remembered Luke calling them evil monsters.
Go! Hex commanded his pack, sending his pack scattering with one word. As the van skidded to a stop outside the alley, clipping one ’swang on the hip, Hex looked at me as he backed out of the alley. Over his shoulder, Hatter raised a gun.
Be careful, Olesya. Don’t trust them. I’ll find you. I’ll save you.
Before Hatter pulled off the shot, Hex twisted around, leapt down the alley, and bounded over the roof of the van, denting the metal, and landing on the other side.
“Ollie!” Hatter shouted through the open window. “We gotta go!”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t. That ’swang had known my name—my full name, a name I hadn’t spoken in eight years.
