Cameron emerged from his tent, wearing black swimming-trunks, but he did not glance once in their direction as he headed for the lagoon. Julie looked sadly after him.
Ian caught her expression and frowned. ‘There’s something more, isn’t there? There is! I’ve been blind. You’re in love with the guy, aren’t you?’
Julie nodded, her large hazel eyes swimming with unshed tears.
‘Oh, lord.’ Ian sat down on one of the collapsible canvas chairs and dropped his head into his hands. ‘What a mess. What a complete and utter mess. My brave, dear sister, how could I not have noticed? You’ve had to suffer in silence because you were supposed to be my wife.’
‘Ian, it doesn’t matter.’ She came towards him and put her hand on his shoulder. ‘Cameron doesn’t feel that way about me, so nothing would have come of it, even without the pretence.’
He turned pained, glazed eyes in her direction. ‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Because I am,’ she told him firmly. ‘I’ve spent a lot of time with him. I can assure you I would have known if he felt anything.’
Ian shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter. I still feel the world’s biggest louse. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, Sis, you know that.’
‘I know,’ she said soothingly. ‘And I’ll get over him, don’t worry.’
Over dinner there was complete and utter silence. It was the most uncomfortable meal Julie had ever experienced. She and Ian hardly touched their food. Cameron ate as normal, though his expression was anything but normal. A black scowl constantly darkened his brow, his eyes were unreadable, his mouth grim, his whole body rigid.
As soon as he had finished eating he disappeared, and when darkness fell Julie went to her tent and lay down. She did not get undressed, it was far too early to go to bed, but she needed to be alone; she wanted to listen to no more of Ian’s apologies, feel no more of Cameron’s animosity.
Finally she did get up and into her cotton nightshirt, but she was unable to sleep. Her mind was too tormented and her body aching, both from the pain in her ribs and the pain in her heart. She did not know which was the worst.
She left her tent open so that she could see the night sky, see the stars that looked down on them and the restless ocean that crept almost to their door during the night and then receded again.
When a black shape appeared she knew it was Ian, come to voice his misery again. ‘Can’t you sleep either?’ she asked.
‘You damnable woman,’ growled a deep voice that definitely did not belong to her brother. ‘You must know I can’t sleep.’ And with those pulsing words Cameron came into her tent.
CHAPTER NINE
JULIE was trapped. Her injured ribs prevented her from moving—quickly enough anyway. It was agony even to lift herself into a sitting position. ‘What do you want?’ she asked, amazed to hear how husky her voice sounded. Almost like an invitation instead of panic! Her heart thudded wildly, every pulse raced, and she wished she could see Cameron’s face. Only his voice told her that he was still in a foul mood.
‘My retribution,’ he growled, looming threateningly over her in the darkness.
‘What do you mean?’ She put a hand to her throat, sensing suddenly that she was in danger. This man had never posed a threat before, except to her own sanity, but now there was something different about him and she felt afraid.
He knelt down at her side, sitting back on his heels, though it was still impossible to see his face. ‘Don’t you know how difficult it has been for me to keep my hands off you?’
Julie swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. ‘No—I—’
‘You’re too damned attractive for your own good, do you know that?’ He leaned closer towards her, and now Julie could see the menacing glitter in his eyes. He looked as though something had snapped in his mind, and she feared all of a sudden for her safety.
‘Cameron!’ She tried to edge away, but there was nowhere to go. ‘What is this? What are you—?’
‘What am I trying to do?’ he asked for her. ‘Isn’t it clear? You wanted me the moment you set eyes on me, and if it hadn’t been for your admirable loyalty to your brother you would have undoubtedly let me see it. I intend only to take what you want to give.’ There was a cruel quirk to his lips. ‘It would be a shame to let you go without satisfying your hunger.’
Julie could not believe he was saying these things, and was appalled that he had been able to see through her so clearly. She felt abject humiliation and shook her head in a desperate attempt to deny his words. ‘I don’t, I don’t,’ she cried. ‘You have it wrong. I’ve never felt like that about you. I—’
‘Let’s prove it, shall we?’ he muttered against her mouth, relentlessly stemming her words.
She could not push him away, she could not struggle without causing herself severe pain and distress, and he knew it—knew she would be at his mercy. He had chosen his moment well.
His mouth took hers with such force that her head fell back. It was like an invasion of her deepest privacy, attacking the very roots of her womanhood.
One other kiss he had given her, one other kiss which had proved torment beyond compare, but even that meant nothing now. She could not breathe, her whole body trembled, the heat of unfulfilled passion rising like a flash-flood in her veins.
She was alarmed by her reaction and put her hands against his chest, but it hurt too much to push him away. Instead she felt the exciting heat of his bare skin pulsing against her palms, the silkiness of the dark hairs covering it, the powerful rhythm of his heart that echoed in frantic union with her own. It was like a pagan drumbeat, insistent, inciting passions, drumming inside her head as his mouth continued its assault.
His hands moved on her body, exploring, caressing, and there was nothing, but nothing she could do to stop him. Every movement she made caused pain. She was at his mercy, trapped in a confusion of feelings and sensations that threatened her very sanity.
Her breathing grew deep and ragged, her lips parting beneath his insistent invasion, a moan involuntarily escaping the back of her throat. It was sweet, sweet torture. Her whole body pulsed with excitement; she wanted to arch herself into him, take everything he had to offer, all thought of resistance fading like a rainbow after a shower.
The thud of her heart was painful in the extreme. So long she had loved this man and been unable to do anything about it; his kiss now was a release from her self-imposed torture, and although she knew she ought to pretend indifference it was impossible to control her snowballing feelings.
He lifted his mouth from hers and she drew in a much needed breath of air, but he had not finished with her. His lips continued to explore the rest of her face—her eyes, her nose, an incredibly erotic spot behind her ears—and Julie found herself moving her hips in a gesture of longing and needing, the pain from her ribs forgotten in the heat of desire.
She had slid back down the bed and his mouth now beat a torturous trail down the exposed column of her throat, his tongue tasting her skin, finding the erratic, tell-tale pulse in its hollow, his silence adding to the torment of the moment.
When his hand slid beneath her short cotton nightshirt to cup the soft curve of her breast Julie gave a gasp of unexpected pleasure, at the same time making a belated attempt to push him away.
‘You want this, Julie, as much as I do,’ he muttered thickly, his mouth against hers again. ‘Deny it if you dare.’
How could she? It was torture of the sweetest kind. It was her dreams come true, even though she knew that he was using her in anger rather than pleasure, that he was taking rather than giving.
It was pain, but of the sweetest kind. This was an experience she would remember for a long time, long after she had left the islands, long after Cameron had forgotten all about her. She would never forget him, though. It was a cliché, but he was the man she had been waiting for all her life, and, had circumstances been different, the same might have gone for their relationship.
A ragged sigh lingered
on her lips and Cameron took this as her answer. Her nightshirt was pushed up to expose to his glittering gaze the tautness of her breasts, nipples hard and thrusting, revealing all too clearly the full extent of her arousal.
Fingertips sought and teased, peaking her desire. Every pulse in her body was frantic, her heart crashing against her ribcage. Oh, lord, she wanted him. Never had she experienced such intense sensations, never had she hungered for a man like she did now for Cameron.
And when his mouth replaced his hands on her breasts, when his tongue and teeth gently tortured, she whimpered her pleasure, moaned with the exquisite pain of longing and wanting and needing that was a totally new experience.
She felt his deep, uneven breathing, the trembling of his body, and could not understand it when, with a cry of distaste, he jerked himself away. Her hands flutterred tentatively to stop him, but to no avail.
He stood looking down at her, his face harshly, savagely angular. ‘Thank your lucky stars I’m too much of a gentleman to take complete advantage,’ he rasped.
Julie’s breathing was still heavy, sounding loud even to her own ears, and the blood pumped painfully through her veins as she lay watching him, her eyes wide and confused.
He had said he wanted retribution, but it hadn’t felt like that—it had felt as though it meant something to him too. Yet now he was declaring it had all been a game, that it had been his intention to destroy her but he was going to be lenient and let her off.
Sweet pain turned to anger, erupting violently as she tugged her nightshirt back into place. ‘If you were a gentleman you wouldn’t have touched me at all,’ she spat.
‘Then perhaps I’m not.’ His eyes glittered in the dimness of the tent. ‘Perhaps I’m an evil-minded bastard who takes his pleasure at will. Is that what you think, Julie?’
His cruel taunt sent a chill crawling over her skin, made her feel icy-cold despite the warmth of the night. ‘I’m quite sure you haven’t reached the age you are without pleasuring yourself with a woman or two,’ she whispered. ‘Were they all willing, or did you force yourself on them as you did me?’
‘Force?’ There was a grating harshness to his voice. ‘Did I use force?’
‘Not physically,’ she admitted, ‘but you used the force of your personality. You must know that you’re the sort of man any woman would find attractive. Take Alex, for instance, she’s been flirting with you like mad ever since she arrived—and I’ve not noticed you rejecting her.’
‘And that troubles you, does it?’
It was her turn to flash her eyes. ‘Hell, no. You’re welcome to her.’
He folded his arms across his magnificent chest. ‘It might interest you to know that I don’t want to be irresistible to all women. I would prefer to be loved by one woman alone. Do you think that is possible?’
It was a question that surprised Julie, and one she could not answer. She could not raise her hand and say, Yes, I think it is possible. I am that woman. I love you. I will love you forever. He would neither believe her nor reciprocate her feelings.
‘I am waiting for your answer, Julie.’
She swallowed hard. ‘Actually, yes, I do.’
‘Would you marry me, knowing the type of lifestyle I have?’ he asked, his tone brusque.
‘Of course I would, if I loved you,’ she answered shakily. She found it practically impossible to hide her true emotions. ‘I’d travel with you to the ends of the earth. It’s no good marrying a man and expecting him to change. You marry him for the person he is, and if he’s a traveller, an explorer, a scientist—whatever-then you adapt yourself to his needs. It’s as simple as that.’ She put all the depth of her feelings into her answer—she could not help it. She only hoped he would not guess that she was speaking from the heart.
‘Some man’s going to be very lucky,’ he said gruffly, ‘not many women share your opinion. Will it be Roger, I wonder? I suspect you’ve patched things up between you. I noticed the charming little kiss you gave him before he left.’
His tone was derogatory and Julie retaliated. ‘As a matter of fact he has asked me to go back out with him.’
‘I see.’ The words were bitter. ‘He must love you very much if he’s prepared to take you back after the way you treated him.’
‘As a further matter of fact,’ she retorted, ‘he admitted that he had made a—’
But Cameron did not wait to hear what else she had to say. He turned and left her tent as abruptly as he had appeared.
Julie let out a deep breath. It had been a traumatic few minutes. She felt on fire; she still felt Cameron’s mouth and hands on her body, still felt excitement running through her veins. Had he been truthful when he’d said he found her irresistible? Or was that a line he used with all girls?
There was no doubt in her mind that he had been punishing her, that it had been retribution. She had imagined his enjoyment; he had used her, wilfully and forcefully, intent only on destroying her.
The next morning there was nothing on Cameron’s face to suggest that there had been any intimacy between them. There was nothing except hard, cold anger, directed at both Ian and herself. After breakfast the two men went off together, the same as they always did, and she was left to her own resources. She once again tried typing, but it hurt too much to lift and use her arm.
Rick and Lee came to talk to her, and it helped pass the time. They knew nothing of her problems. Alex did not even come and ask how her ribs were, remaining down at her own end of the beach, swimming and sunbathing and undoubtedly waiting for Cameron to return.
When the men did finally come back Julie’s heart skittered like a mad thing when she caught sight of Cameron, and the depth of her love for him washed over her in painful wave after painful wave.
Ian looked at her tenderly. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m all right,’ she answered.
‘Not in too much pain?’
‘I’ll survive.’ It was the pain of unrequited love that hurt most.
‘How have you got on with my book?’ Cameron barked the question urgently, as though his work was of more importance than her health.
‘I haven’t done any,’ she said quietly. ‘I did try but I can’t manage it yet; it hurts too much.’
He gave a roar of unexpected anger. ‘Am I supposed to believe that? Am I supposed to believe that it’s not an excuse to lengthen your remaining time here? Really, Julie, you’ll have to try harder than that. Surely your pain is lessening now?’
‘No, it isn’t,’ she insisted. ‘Please be patient. I can’t help it if I’m not up to it yet.’
‘But you could help telling me lies in the first place; how am I to know that you’re not lying again?’
And this was what hurt him most of all, she thought unhappily. ‘I give you my word,’ she said.
Dinner was an uncomfortable, silent occasion, and as soon as Cameron had finished eating he pushed his chair back from the table and disappeared into his tent.
‘Has he been like this all day?’ asked Julie.
Ian nodded, his lips grim, and there was pain behind his eyes which suggested he was getting one of his migraines. He had been so happy, now everything had crashed about his head; he was utterly, utterly despondent, and Julie wished there was something she could do about it.
When an hour went by and Cameron had still not come out of his tent she walked across to it with sudden determination, saying firmly, ‘Cameron, we must talk.’
He lifted his head impatiently from his notebook, eyes cold and distant. ‘About what?’
Julie felt her stomach muscles tighten. She had hoped faintly that what she had to say wouldn’t be necessary, but it was clear he’d had no change of heart. ‘We cannot go on like this.’
His face remained hard and impassive. ‘Like what?’
‘If you’re really finding it too hard to forgive me then I’ll go home right now. I want you to radio Jake and tell him to come and fetch me. All I ask is that you give Ian another chance.’
He gave a loud guffaw. ‘What makes you think I’d do that? Ian is actually more guilty than you. The masquerade was his idea, wasn’t it?’
Julie nodded. ‘But I went along with it, so I’m equally to blame. Please, Cameron, be nice to him. Let him stay. This job means so much to him.’
His eyes were contemptuous. ‘Such concern is very touching; how I wish I could believe that it’s not your own hide you’re pleading for. However, my mind is made up; when you go, Ian goes—but not until you have finished my book.’
‘Even though I’m not up to it at the moment?’
His lips tightened, as if he was still not sure how genuine she was. ‘How long do you think before you’ll be fit enough? And I want no thought of malingering,’ he added harshly.
‘I don’t really know,’ she answered with a shrug. ‘I’ve never broken my ribs before. A few days, maybe a week.’
‘A week?’ he echoed. ‘That won’t do, Julie. It will never be finished in time.’
‘I’ll make sure it is,’ she said quietly, and when he added nothing further she left his tent. He was being totally unreasonable and cold-hearted, she fumed inwardly. He didn’t care about her well-being any more, all he was concerned about was getting his damn book finished.
Early the next morning, after an almost sleepless night, Julie heard Alex and Cameron taking what had now become their ritual early-morning swim, the girl shrieking her enjoyment as she and Cameron played games in the water.
Suddenly all went quiet, and Julie’s curiosity got the better of her. But when she peeped out of her tent and saw Cameron with his arms around the nubile blonde, kissing her soundly and with obvious enjoyment, she wished she hadn’t looked. Raw jealousy began to eat away inside her, so much so that she felt physically sick.
Stolen Feelings (Island Romances) Page 12
