by K. Webster
He nods. “Yeah. Your brother is getting nosy though.” When his eyes meet mine again, he swallows. “I’m sorry. I know it upsets you to talk about him.”
I run my fingers through his hair and kiss him. “Stop worrying so much. Nadia is obsessed with being your wife and living up there in the house. She doesn’t even care about Junior. There’s no way she’ll leave you or alert anyone to the fact we’re down here.”
He hugs me to him and buries his face against my chest. “I love you, Kasey. You have to know that.”
And I do. At one time, I didn’t understand how. But after all this time, I feel his love for me. I don’t understand him when he loses control or becomes abusive. I don’t see how keeping us captive in his basement is okay in his mind. I certainly don’t get how he can fuck two women exclusively and be at ease with that.
But I do feel his love. It’s strange. It’s dark. It’s wrong. Yet it’s there.
“I love you too,” I assure him. This too is true. Nadia despises his very existence but that’s because her heart always belonged to someone else. Mine belonged to Taylor until he left me. Now, I feel like Logan owns it through and through. The day I held baby Tay in my arms, my heart became inexplicably intertwined with Logan’s.
“Do you need anything for the kitchen? Clothes for the kids? Toys? I can pick some things up next time I’m out,” he says, his tone gruff as he clutches onto my ass.
I look past him at my home. The basement has long been converted into a comfortable living space. We have a nice bathroom with a bathtub where I bathe the kids. A small kitchen complete with a range, oven, sink, and refrigerator. There’s a bedroom off the living room with enough places to sleep for everyone. Nadia and I used to share the bed until she moved upstairs. This is my home. It’s small and I can’t leave, but I do okay here.
“I need…” he trails off as he tugs at the hem of my dress.
I lift my arms and allow him to peel it from me. He unlatches my bra and tosses it away. Ever since Nadia had Van, we’ve stuck to our plan. She provokes him so he’ll leave me and the kids alone. Not once has he ever laid a finger on our children, but we don’t give him a chance. Of course he and I have had sex over the past few years but it’s different than in the beginning. It’s consensual and actually enjoyable.
“God, you’re so beautiful, doll.”
My cheeks warm as he lowers me down on the couch beside him. I watch with an eagerness I can’t explain as this beautiful demon of a man strips down and reveals his perfect body to me. He then peels away my panties before climbing on top of me.
“Don’t forget the condom,” I murmur.
He frowns but pulls one from the pocket of his slacks. Once he’s sheathed, he spreads me open. I let out a soft gasp when he pushes his length inside of me. “I want to have another baby with you. Nadia hasn’t gotten pregnant again. Maybe I’ll take her to a doctor soon to get her checked out, now that everyone in town knows she’s my fiancée. But until then, maybe we could try again.”
A flare of jealousy thunders in my chest but I quickly push away those senseless thoughts. Nadia is my partner. Not my enemy. Logan just confuses me sometimes.
“Kassie is too little. I can barely take care of her by myself. Maybe in another few months, okay?”
He agrees with a slight nod before crashing his lips to mine. Our bodies, completely used to one another after a decade of being together, melt into one. His cock hits me in all the right spots as he makes love to me. A delicious and long overdue orgasm slices through me and I bite my lip to keep from crying out and waking the kids. He groans as his cock throbs within me. Then, he relaxes and buries his face against my neck.
“I’m sorry this isn’t your ideal life, Kasey. But this is mine. Having you and my children here together. I’m happy, doll.”
I hug him to me. “I’m happy too.” And in this exact moment, that’s not a lie. With his heart thundering in his chest against mine, I find peace. Even if only for a little while.
A buzzer sounds and I jolt back to the present. Another shiver courses through me the moment I know his eyes are on me. I look over my shoulder and see his massive, shackled frame hobbling over to me. Darkness has settled over him and a scowl mars his handsome face. He looks just like Kass when she doesn’t get her way. Once he’s settled in his seat, the guard walks away to give us some privacy.
“Hey,” I whisper.
His coffee-colored eyes flit to my lips and he cracks a small smile. “Hey, beautiful. Your hair’s getting longer.”
I absently tug at a strand and my hand trembles. When my gaze finds his, he’s frowning again.
“What’s going on? Kass and Tay okay?” The overprotective, fatherly growl warms my heart. He’ll always be their dad. Always.
“Yeah, they’re fine. Taylor had to do a report about his father in his class…” I trail off.
Shame flashes across Logan’s face and my heart aches a little. “And what did he say?”
I reach across and briefly skim my fingertips over his cuffed hands before bringing them back to my lap. Lifting the paper Tay drew, I slide it across the table. “He still brags to anyone who’ll listen about how you’re the best Minecraft creeper killer in Colorado. When the kids asked how you got so good, he told them because you used to be a cop and learned at the academy. Apparently they all think that is cool.”
We both smile.
When he looks down at the paper, his jaw clenches and a tear rolls out splashing it. I want to hug him and comfort him but it’s simply not allowed.
“Who’s the little monster with the wild hair he drew that’s frowning?” he asks, his voice choked with emotion.
I laugh and point to Tay’s rendering of Kass. “That’d be your baby girl. She’s kind of a terror these days.”
He stares for a long time at the picture. The man in the picture is Logan holding Tay’s hand. The woman is me and I get to hold the unhappy monster’s hand. Except in the picture, there’s not a sun or clouds or the family standing in front of a house. No. In the picture, we’re in the living room of the basement. The grey walls are neatly colored in around the figures.
“Did you drive here alone?” he asks, his eyes never leaving the picture.
My entire body tenses. “No, Jason brought me. Like usual.”
His gaze lifts to mine and he looks me over. At one time, his scrutiny terrified me. That was before I loved him. But I’ll always love him to some degree, so he doesn’t scare me anymore. What I have to tell him—words that will break his heart—that’s what scares me.
“I wanted to tell you this in person. Not through our letters. Jason and I…” Tears well in my eyes and my lip trembles. “We’re pregnant. He wants to marry me, Logan.”
His jaw clenches and another tear streaks down his cheek. When he doesn’t say anything, I bring a couple of photographs from my lap and slide them across to him. Mostly they are of the kids. A few are of me and the kids. One is Jason holding Kass on his hip at Tay’s baseball game.
“Does he make you happy?”
I nod and reach for him again. He lets me touch his fingers. “Very. It’s been a long road for us. There’re still days we both have trouble dealing with certain things from our past. But this is good news to us. A baby is always good news.”
His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. “Do you love him?”
“I do. He’s so good to our kids too. You know what a nice guy he is.”
He stares at me as if he wants to memorize every freckle on my face. I wish the stupid guards would just unshackle him and let me hug him. “No man ever wants to give his blessing for the mother of his children to move on from him…”
Sniffling, I nod and fortify my heart to say my next words. “I know. And I’m not asking for your blessing. I’m telling you, Logan. I choose this for myself. You weren’t a choice but I learned to love you anyway. Because of your actions, I was given two children I would die for. I’m grateful for what you gave me. B
ut please realize this is not me asking. I love you. I always will. If you love me too, you’ll make peace with this. Our children deserve this. I deserve this.”
He regards me with a tortured expression. It slices through my heart but I knew it was inevitable. This had to be said.
“You have three more minutes,” the gruff guard mumbles from somewhere behind me.
We both flinch at the realization that the visitation is nearly over.
“Does this mean it’s over? That you’ll stop coming to see me? That my children will eventually forget who I am?” His voice wobbles with each word.
Shaking my head vehemently at him, I meet his stare with a firm one of my own. “Absolutely not. It may go against my brother’s and Nadia’s wishes, but I won’t abandon you. I’m probably the only person, besides the kids, on this planet who cares about you. It would be impossible for me to ever fully let you go. I promise I’ll visit you. We’ll still send pictures and updates. The kids look forward to when you send them letters. Nothing is changing as far as that goes. But I am going to move forward with Jason. We’re going to go on and have a good life together.”
His tears don’t stop but he doesn’t argue. He just stares at me as if he has the ability to keep me here forever. At one time, he had the power to keep his little doll all to himself. But now, his little doll is grown up. She’s standing on her own two feet and doing things her way.
“Time to go, inmate,” the guard says.
I stand as he helps Logan to his feet. The guard groans but allows me to press a chaste kiss to Logan’s cheek. His dark, pained eyes stay trained on mine as he’s ushered away from me without so much as a goodbye. My chest hurts but I also feel lighter. The news is still fresh and he’ll be upset but eventually he’ll learn to accept it.
The walk out of the facility and into the lobby is a blur. When I push through the doors and the warm sunshine hits my face—a feeling I still feel grateful for every day—I clutch my stomach and pray I don’t lose my lunch. But when two strong arms wrap around me from behind, I finally relax.
Jason’s presence blankets me and I feel safe.
“Everything go okay?” he questions, his palms splayed out on my small baby bump.
I cover his hands with mine and nod. “It was hard. Just like we knew it would be. But I’m ready. Ready to move forward.”
He removes one of his hands and shoves it into his pocket. When he brings it back, he’s holding a small gold ring with a tiny cluster of diamonds that shimmer around a larger diamond. I bite my lip to keep the tears at bay as he slips it on my finger.
“Marry me, angel.”
Twisting in his arms, I wrap my arms around his neck and stand on my toes to kiss him. He wastes no time tangling his tongue with mine. Jason tastes like cinnamon and hope and love all rolled into one delicious kiss.
“Is that a yes?” he questions against my lips, a smile breaking out on his face.
I pull away from his kiss and hug him tight. He lifts me from the ground, spinning me in a slow circle. The high cinderblock walls and barbed wire fence may be the background of his proposal but the sun shining down on us is all that matters right now.
Everything was once all screwed up and terrifying and confusing. At times, I didn’t think this life was even worth living. But all the bad got me here. To the now. From darkness, my two adorable children were birthed in perfect light. Eventually, I was given a chance at a full, satisfying life, despite the long and downright awful journey to get where I am now.
Was it worth it?
“Yes.”
Every single moment was completely worth my eventual happy ending.
And lucky for me, my happiness doesn’t end here.
It’s only beginning.
THE END
Listen to the entire playlist here.
Sweet Jane – Cowboy Junkies
Crimson and Clover – Tommy James & The Shondells
Take Out the Gunman – Chevelle
Hotel California – Eagles
Tainted Love – Marilyn Manson
Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
Love is Not Enough – Nine Inch Nails
The Way – Saigon Kick
Crown of Thorns – Mother Love Bone
Stargazer – Mother Love Bone
Ain’t That a Kick in the Head – Dean Martin
Wonderwall – Oasis
Killing Me Softly With His Song – Fugees
Kiss From a Rose – Seal
Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden
Crazy – Aerosmith
Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin
(Don’t Fear) The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
You’re So Vain – Marilyn Manson
Thank you to my husband, Matt. You wash clothes and feed mouths when Momma Bear is hard at work. I couldn’t have picked out a better man. My love for you never wanes. Only grows stronger with each day.
A huge thanks to Nikki McCrae. Your support and help is what keeps me going. I know I can always count on you to set me straight and remind me of who I am when I’m not being Author K Webster. Thanks for always bringing me back to reality. If it weren’t for you, my head would always be in the clouds and I’d probably forget to eat breakfast most days. You’re my voice of reason.
Thank you to Sunny Borek. You’ve become a great friend to me. I appreciate that you always let me throw ideas at you, no matter how weird and wild, and then wave your pom-poms in the air to cheer me on. You make me happy when skies are grey.
I want to thank the people who either beta read this book or proofed it early. Nikki McCrae, Elizabeth Clinton, Ella Stewart, Jessica Hollyfield, Amy Bosica, Shannon Martin, Brooklyn Miller, Robin Martin, Amy Simms, Rebecca Graham, and Sunny Borek, (I hope I didn’t forget anyone) you all gave me great feedback and the support I needed to carry on. You all give me helpful ideas to make my stories better and give me incredible encouragement. I appreciate all of your comments and suggestions.
A big thank you to my author friends who have given me your friendship and your support. You have no idea how much that means to me.
Thank you to all of my blogger friends both big and small that go above and beyond to always share my stuff. You all rock! #AllBlogsMatter
I’m especially thankful for my Krazy for K reader group. You ladies are wonderful with your support and friendship. Each and every single one of you is amazingly supportive and caring. I love that we can all be weird page sniffers together.
I am totally thankful for my author group, the COPA gals, for being there when I need to take a load off and whine. Y’all rock!
Vanessa Bridges, you’re my hero. You totally somehow see the greater vision within my story and pull it to the surface. I’m grateful that you can understand what it is I’m trying to convey. I love that you aren’t afraid to cut my story up until it’s hemorrhaging, only to guide my trembling hands in stitching it back up to perfection. It comes out raw, real, and thought provoking because of your work on it. The wounds and scars only show the fight of how the story came to be. Keep your blade sharp and I’ll keep offering my bloody heart to you over and over again. And, Manda Lee, you always help my story become so much better with your helpful feedback and notes. Finally, thank you, Jessica D. I’m glad to have your eagle-eyes on the last pass. Love you ladies!
Thank you Stacey Blake for taking my hard work and shining it into something pretty. Your magic is the finishing touch that turns my bloody, scarred up project into the belle of the ball. Love you!
A big thanks to my PR gal, Nicole Blanchard. You are fabulous at what you do and keep me on track!
Lastly but certainly not least of all, thank you to all of the wonderful readers out there that are willing to hear my story and enjoy my characters like I do. It means the world to me!
K Webster is the author of dozens of romance books in many different genres including contemporary romance, historical romance, paranormal romance, dark romance, romantic suspense, and erotic romance.
When not spending time with her husband of thirteen years and two adorable children, she’s active on social media connecting with her readers.
Her other passions besides writing include reading and graphic design. K can always be found in front of her computer chasing her next idea and taking action. She looks forward to the day when she will see one of her titles on the big screen.
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THE BREAKING THE RULES SERIES:
Broken (Book 1)
Wrong (Book 2)
Scarred (Book 3)
Mistake (Book 4)
Crushed (Book 5 – a novella)
THE VEGAS ACES SERIES:
Rock Country (Book 1)
Rock Heart (Book 2)
Rock Bottom (Book 3)
THE BECOMING HER SERIES:
Becoming Lady Thomas (Book 1)
Becoming Countess Dumont (Book 2)
Becoming Mrs. Benedict (Book 3)
Alpha & Omega
Omega & Love
WAR & PEACE DUET
This is War, Baby
This is Love, Baby
STANDALONE NOVELS
Apartment 2B
Love and Law
Moth to a Flame
Erased
The Road Back to Us
Give Me Yesterday
Running Free
Dirty Ugly Toy (Dark Romance)
B-Sides and Rarities (Anthology)
