by Kait Gamble
But his words had triggered something in her head. Could they ever be more than that?
She quickly settled on a T-shirt and jeans. Casual and cute. Cara laid them on the bed and wound her hair into a loose knot at the nape of her neck. With a glance in the mirror, she decided it looked suited to a carefree day. “Jason?”
“Right here.” He appeared at her bedroom door. He had put on a pair of jeans but nothing else. He hadn’t even bothered buttoning them and her focus was drawn to where they hung low on his hips. “He’s on his way. I left these the last time I was here.” He motioned at the jeans with the wadded T-shirt in his hand.
It took her a second to register that he was speaking to her. Now whose mind was on sex? She shook it off and winked at him. “Good thing.”
“Want to pick the movie?”
“Oooh. What should I torture you with this time? A rom-com, maybe?”
He made a pained face and pulled his shirt on. “Really? You’d do that to me? After all I’ve done for you?”
Cara laughed.
Jason’s laughter died when a piece of paper on her dresser caught his eye. “What’s this?” He held up the check she had made out to him.
She knew he had seen his name and the amount. He wasn’t stupid. It was now or never. “I wanted to give you that.”
Jason arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
“You can’t tell?” He knew damn well what it was. She could see it on his face.
“I don’t want it.” He dropped it back on the dresser. “I gave you that money to start the restaurant.”
She picked it up and thrust it at him. “And now I’m paying you back.”
He stepped aside so she couldn’t reach him. “It wasn’t a loan. You knew that when I gave it to you.”
Why was he making this so hard? “When you loaned it to me, you could barely afford it. I’ve felt guilty ever since.”
He crossed his arms and glowered at her. “Well, things have gotten considerably better for me since then. You know that. What’s this really about?”
She knew he was doing better now. More than better. There wasn’t a business magazine without him, his partner—their old friend Sebastian—or some variation of them both gracing the cover lately. If what they were reporting was right, everything they touched turned to gold.
“I know that it sounds ridiculous but I want to pay you back. It’s on my list.”
“Your list?”
“My list of things to do in life.”
His wry smile turned vaguely amused. “What else is on this list?”
Cara sighed. “That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“I figured. You wouldn’t get all weird over trying to give me money that you don’t even owe me.”
She took a deep breath. “I had a plan. A path. Get the restaurant up and running. Make enough to pay you back and still be comfortable. Then I’d figure out what to do with the next phase of my life. I figure there will be some travel, opening many more restaurants…” Cara stole a quick glance at Jason who, from the look on his face, was contemplating something himself. Would he get that marriage wasn’t on the list?
He ruminated a moment before giving her a cheeky smile. “So, you’re telling me that you want to take it to the next level by way of mind-blowing sex? Because that was my plan.” He gave her a heart-stopping smile. “Marry me?”
Her heart flopped over. He had better be kidding. Then again, making light about something that was so serious to her didn’t make her feel any better. He knew how she felt about marriage. It didn’t work for everyone, least of all her parents. She never wanted to find out if she was meant for marriage. “Stop messing around.” She yanked several drawers open and pulled out underwear, not really caring what, only wanting to be dressed.
“Whoa. Hey.” Jason turned her around and closed his arms around her when she struggled to get away. “I wasn’t kidding. I know I just blurted it out, but let’s talk about this.”
Shocked couldn’t even begin to describe how she was feeling right now. All she knew was that she needed some space. Some time to think. “I need a little time to process this.”
His jaw went slack at that, but to his credit, he didn’t look pissed—just confused. And maybe a little disappointed. Guilt pooled low in her belly. “Is that okay with you?”
He nodded when she started tugging on clothes. “That’s fine. It wasn’t how I was planning on asking you. But I suppose this is better anyway. Like pulling off a bandage right?”
Except this was much more painful for them both.
“Cara, wait.” He grabbed her hand and held on when she tried to pull away. “I know this is huge. Just consider it.”
“You know I will. I’m just a little overwhelmed.” She tugged her hand from his grasp and pulled on a sweater and jeans. “I’ll be at the restaurant.”
He said nothing but nodded.
Cara left with the feeling gnawing at her gut that told her she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life.
Chapter Three
“And you just left him there? That’s it?”
It had to be the fourth time Chelsea had asked the same set of questions.
And Cara’s answer was the same. “Yes. Can you drop it, please?”
Chelsea washed her hands then wiped them on the towel and hung it back with efficient moves. “What I don’t understand is why? Walk me through it.”
“Uh? Embarrassment? Fear? How about all of those wrapped up in the middle of a flaming ball of panic?”
“It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Oh, it was very bad. It couldn’t have gone worse if I’d tried.” Cara banged her forehead against the extractor fan. “I freaked out and ran!”
Her friend gently dragged her away and led her toward the office. “I don’t think that’s something the health inspector would appreciate you doing, hon. Come on. Let’s crack open that bottle of wine you’re been hoarding and talk it out.”
Cara saw where she was taking her and dug her heels in. The last thing she needed was to be in there with memories of what they had been up to mere hours before. “I need to keep busy. Dwelling on it will just make it worse.”
“Well you have to make a decision, don’t you? So thinking about it might be the best thing.”
“It’s been”—Cara grabbed Chelsea’s wrist and checked the time—“two hours. If I was going to say yes, wouldn’t I have been able to do it by now?”
Rolling her eyes, Chelsea shrugged. “Two hours and five or six years. You guys have known each other for all that time and sleeping together for nearly as long. You can’t honestly say you’ve never once thought about it.”
“Of course I have. But that was back when I was young and stupid. It was never a real possibility. It wasn’t anything we talked about.”
“I’m surprised you guys had time to talk at all.” Chelsea managed a chuckle before Cara’s glare calmed the impulse. “Look, you two have grown up a bit since then. So what’s the plan? You’re just going to mope around for the rest of your life? Just text him and find out where he is. You guys need to sit and talk it out.”
Cara knew that Chelsea was speaking from her own recent experience. “I know you’re trying to help, but we’re not like you and Richard were.” She knew she stuck her foot in her mouth when she saw Chelsea’s shuttered expression. “Sorry.”
Shrugging, Chelsea sighed. “It’s the truth. You two have a much healthier relationship than Rich and I had—which is why I think your situation will work out for the best.”
Cara wound an arm around her friend’s shoulders. She’d thought about calling, texting, walking back… But she really thought she would have the answer now—good or bad. Chances were that if she called, he would be on his way out of the city back to his latest project and probably wouldn’t even answer.
“You know he actually said he was going to use mind-blowing sex to make me say yes?”
“He’s that good, huh?
It’s great that he’s so confident in his skills.”
Cara cringed at the heat blasting her cheeks. “It’s definitely not overconfidence. The man knows what he’s doing and how to get what he wants. That’s one of the reasons I’m so reluctant. I’m just another challenge for him. And we all know that he’s never met a challenge that he’s never overcome.”
Chelsea cocked her head, as if she was trying to understand what was coming out of Cara’s mouth. “That might be true in his business life but you know he doesn’t think like that everywhere else, especially when it comes to you.”
“When we started this—thing—we were exes looking for comfort. There was no talk of forever, no promises. It was what it was and it worked. Why mess with it?”
“Have you tried thinking about things from his point of view? Maybe he’s come to realize that you’re ‘the one’.”
“Right.” She snorted then sighed. “I just don’t want what we have ruined, you know?”
“Why would marriage ruin it? There are so many people out there who are married, have been married and are getting married, who don’t think it has—or will—ruin anything.”
“Then they haven’t seen it the way I have.” She shook her head. It was all moot anyway. He would soon get bored of the chase and things would settle back to the way they used to be… Or he would win then lose interest in her afterwards.
That was one thought that made her stomach turn just a little.
She reached into her purse, mentally preparing what she was going to text him. Instead, a blinking indicator greeted her that she had missed a message.
“Told you to carry it around with you.”
Cara gave her friend a withering look, even though her heart pounded from anticipation. She punched up the message. “I have enough to carry around. Another phone would just add to the chaos.” She turned her full attention to the little screen.
“So? What’s it say?”
Cara showed her the screen. The message was short and to the point.
I’m outside. We need to talk.
It had been sent twenty-five minutes earlier.
“Well, he doesn’t mince words, does he? What are you waiting for?”
What was she waiting for? “Nothing. I don’t know how long I’ll be. If he’s still out there, that is.”
“Of course he will be. And you weren’t supposed to be back here until Monday. Go.” Chelsea gave her a little hug. “Good luck.”
“I’ll need it.”
Chelsea’s phone buzzed. She took a quick look before pocketing her phone again. “No, you won’t.”
Cara didn’t ask. If it was anything Chelsea wanted to talk about, she would.
Jason waited under the awning, just out of the rain. No limo sat at the curb this time, though, but there was a sleek black car that was as sexy as the owner.
He gave her a hesitant smile and opened her door for her. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” Cara slid into the warm leather interior and waited for him to do the same. Was it best to wait for him to start? She’d have to feel him out.
He started the car with a roar and they sped off, slicing through the rain. For a long while, he concentrated on nothing but the road ahead.
Cara watched him out of the side of her eye the entire trip and didn’t see where they had gone until he stopped and turned to her. That’s when she realized they were at the beach. The beach in the rain. “You remembered.”
He offered her a lopsided smile. “Of course I remembered. You think I’d forget where we met?” Jason waved the question away. “We have more important things to talk about.”
She nodded.
“You just took off like you expected me to lock a ball and chain around your ankle right then and there or something.”
“Weren’t you?” The words came out more seriously than she’d wanted them to.
“No. Of course not.” He took her hands and squeezed them. “I just wanted you to know where my head was at. It’s been something I’ve been kicking around in my mind for a while now.”
It is? Stunned, it had never occurred to Cara that he ever thought about a lifelong commitment—to anyone. “Then why haven’t you ever asked me? Or talked about it?”
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to screw up what we have. Or make you freak out.” He smiled wryly at her.
Well, he’d certainly called the freaking-out part. “What do we have?”
“An amazing time together.”
“A few times a year. What makes you think we can handle such a huge leap? I thought you were happy with how we are—were.”
Jason leaned back against the door and smirked. “What? Because I’m a guy? Because the two of us have everything I’ve been programmed to want? I just know there’s more and I know it’s only with you.”
Cara was blown away that he wanted her for more than just a sex buddy. It still didn’t stop the doubts from punching holes in the pretty little picture of their life together that was beginning to form. “I just don’t want to ruin things. Haven’t you noticed the divorce rate? I don’t want us to make a mistake and end up another statistic.”
Jason clenched his jaw. “So us getting married would be a mistake?”
Her anger flared. “Stop it. You know what I mean. We tried it once before and it didn’t work. What we have now is something amazing. We get each other—in and out of the bed—we have a good time when we’re together and we still have the freedom to do what we want. How many people do you think have what we do?”
He turned and looked her straight in the eye. “I know I screwed up before, so why can’t we chalk it up to experience and give it another try? We’re not kids anymore. We’re not naïve and I’m smart enough to know that you’re what I need in my life.”
He was right about them being older and wiser. But how smart was it rehashing something that didn’t work before? Cara gnawed on her bottom lip. After a long moment, she lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I just need a little time. You’ve obviously been thinking about this a lot and have it all worked out.”
“Take all the time you want. Like I said, I don’t want us to get married today or tomorrow. But I wanted you to know that it was coming.”
Cara frowned. “I’m not saying no.”
“But it’s not a yes either.”
“But it’s not a no.” She needed to know that it just wasn’t about the chase for him.
He smiled a little and cupped her cheeks with both hands. “All I know is that if two people are as good together as we are, they should grab it with both hands and not let go.”
Cara leaned into the warmth of his hands. “And I agree, but it’s not something I’m going to do lightly.”
“You think this is just some impulse on my part?”
Her chest constricted. She had to get out of there. Cara pulled at the handle and kicked the door open, letting the rain splatter the interior of the car. “I need air.”
“Cara!”
She didn’t hear anything else he said after she shut the door and strode toward the water. It was dramatic and stupid but she was too rattled to care. Cara just wished that she wasn’t being drenched by rain or getting sucked into the sand as she tried to make her escape.
Jason didn’t let her get ten paces away before he caught up with her. “Will you get back in the car? You’re going to catch pneumonia.”
“I’ll be fine.” But the rain had soaked through her clothes and the seeping cold sent shivers skittering through her body.
“Stop being so stubborn.” Jason picked her up and flung her over a shoulder. It took seconds for him to get her back in the passenger seat then around into the seat opposite himself. He had the doors locked and the engine started before she could protest. “We’re going back to your place and we’re going to figure this out.”
Cara wasn’t interested in talking any more. All it led to was more stress on her part. “Whatever.”
“No. Not whatever. We
’re going to talk it out. And we’re going to find a resolution that’s good for us both.” He spared her a quick glance before turning a corner. “I’m not going to lose you.”
Cara met his brief gaze. “I know that it took a lot of courage for you to tell me, even if you think you did a bad job of it. I need you to know that I’m not running away.”
“So what are you doing?”
“Trying to get a handle on things.” She sighed. “One second we were enjoying ourselves and the next—”
He furrowed his brow. “You freaked and ran out on me. Twice.”
“And that’s all that concerns you?”
“One of the main things. Didn’t you think I could handle you speaking openly with me?”
He was right about that at least. She was the one who had panicked, not him. What did that say about her? She allowed her insecurity to take over and kept kicking herself for it. “You’re right. I’m sorry. But can you blame me? I’ve told you what growing up was like for me. My parents ended up hating each other. Since we’ve never discussed anything beyond where and when we’re going to meet next, I thought we wouldn’t have to deal with this.”
Jason silently pulled up to her building then got out to open her door for her. “Doesn’t mean we can’t start now.”
Chapter Four
Jason opened the door to her apartment and waved her through. Cara smelled the food before she saw it. Inside, he had an elegantly set table and a meal waiting. “I hope you don’t mind. I texted Chelsea.”
She imagined her friend had been more than giddy to help him out. Then it dawned on her—the mysterious text as she was leaving. The sneaks. “I don’t.” Cara could see the all the hallmarks of her friend’s involvement. She knew Chelsea wouldn’t hesitate if she thought she was doing the right thing. “Should I be worried that you two are plotting together?”
“She just mentioned something about knowing how to soothe you with good food and wine. I just want to talk.” He plucked at his soaked shirt. “But first a shower?”
Cara ignored his suggestive glance. “Alone. Take the guest bath and I’ll meet you back here. Ten minutes?”
