“Isn’t it safe to say that when you make that reference you mean the Timberlakes? They’re the ones who raised you, Alicia, the ones who gave you a good life. You have no reason to feel guilty. If anything, your birth parents would be happy that you were so well taken care of.” Personally, he felt that the Timberlakes deserved to be identified as parents. It wasn’t the fault of Alicia’s birth parents that they both died young, but the fact remained that Mr. and Mrs. Timberlake provided the parenting.
He wondered what happened to the Clementses, how they died.
“Yes, I suppose so.”
He shifted in his seat, another question on his mind. “Alicia, what about you and Daphne?”
“Who?”
The I-don’t-know-who-you’re-talking about attitude told him Alicia had no intentions of having any further contact with her sister. “I guess that answers that.”
“It’s easy for me to not see her, but I feel for Martha. Daphne will make her life miserable. If I know her she’ll have poor Martha peeling grapes for her…at three in the morning.”
“So Martha’s going to stay on?”
“For the time being. I haven’t had an opportunity for a real heart-to-heart with her, but we’ve spoken about what would happen after Mom passed. She said that she and Marvin want Tyrone and Melody—their kids—to graduate from Staples High School in Westport. For one thing, it looks nice on a college application. For another, both Tyrone and Melody have friends there, and they’re active in several sports. Transferring to a high school in Bridgeport will not only compromise their education, but disrupt their athletic programs and social lives as well.
“That’s something else on my to-do list,” she said. “Put in some inquiries about anyone who’s looking to hire a live-in housekeeper. I’m not sure how many estates have housing for a family of four, unless their caretakers live in. That’s what makes the Lewises’ situation different. In many cases the caretaker and the maid are married and they have a one-bedroom cottage on the property, but Marvin never took care of the grounds at my…at my parents’ house, we always used a service for that. And they have a son and a daughter, so they would have to have three bedrooms.”
“That’ll be nice if you can find something for her.”
“At least Mom left instructions that give Daphne no power to let her go without an investigation by the attorney and myself. Mom didn’t try to force Daphne to be close to Martha, but deep down, I think she knew what Daphne would try to do, or else she wouldn’t have left instructions limiting her power.”
“Why does Daphne dislike Martha?”
“Because she knew how fond Mom was of her, and she hated that. Daphne wanted Mom all to herself. She already knew she had Pop twisted around her little finger, but that wasn’t enough for her. She felt Martha wasn’t worthy of Mom’s affections because she didn’t have a privileged background and she worked as a housekeeper. So of course Daphne had a field day when Mom told her about me.”
He reached across the table, where her hand rested, and covered it with his. “Alicia,” he said gently after taking a moment to think, “this is a lot for any one person to absorb. A shock like that after thirty-five years. It’s something that can be hard to recover from, maybe impossible.” About to suggest that she consider counseling, he stopped when he felt her hand, so relaxed just a moment before, suddenly stiffen under his. “Something wrong?”
“It sounds suspiciously like you’re about to make the same suggestion that my parents’ attorney made.”
“What did he suggest?”
“That I get psychiatric counseling.”
“I get the impression you don’t think much of that idea.”
“No, Jack, I don’t.”
Her words came out flatter than the Midwest prairie, he noted. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before pulling his arm back. “I’m not going to preach on the subject, but I will say this. There’s nothing shameful about seeking out professional counseling. It can be an important factor in both acceptance and healing.” When she opened her mouth to object he pressed his index finger vertically against his lips. “Why don’t we just let it drop? Besides, our dinner’s here.” He pointed with his chin toward the server, who rapidly approached their table with two plates balanced on a tray held on her shoulder.
After dinner he paid the check and they set out to return to her apartment. “Are you up to walking back, or should we get a cab?” he asked.
“Oh, let’s walk. I like walking after eating, especially in the winter.”
The late December air felt crisp and clean to Jack’s nostrils in a city not known for good air quality. Holiday decorations brightened the restaurant and shop windows. He captured her gloved hand in his. “Alicia, my family is taking a reunion cruise in February. We try to do something together every couple of years where everyone participates. The ship leaves from Fort Lauderdale. We’ll be out for five days and four nights. I’d like you to come with me.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Jack. I’m not much for family gatherings.”
He’d expected her to hedge. “I think it’ll be good for you.” He wanted to tell her his family would love her, but instinct told him not to press the issue.
Now that he knew of Alicia’s adoption, her negative views on love had started to make more sense to him now. Surely nothing in her life with the Timberlakes had given her cause to feel that love equated weakness. He wondered if she’d unknowingly harbored in her unconscious her time as an orphan, her parents suddenly gone from her as a child too young to understand their disappearance. The confusion she undoubtedly felt paired with other experiences in those early days might have affected her way of thinking to this day.
Not that he had the qualifications to make any diagnoses. It would take a skilled psychoanalyst to figure that one out.
“All right, I’ll ask you something more immediate,” he said lightly. “What are you doing New Year’s Eve?”
Chapter 31
I’m Happy Just To Dance with You
Jack watched in amusement as his siblings, sitting out on deck having a late breakfast, filled Alicia in on every embarrassing detail of his childhood. They told her about the time he lied to his parents about losing the third house key they’d had made for him in as many months, saying he accidentally threw it in the garbage. His father brought him to the trash pile and was about to make him go through it with his bare hands until he found the key when a fearful Jack confessed he’d lost it, earning a spanking. They also told her about the time he locked his sister Felice in a closet for a full half hour because she’d tattled on him. He’d gotten his butt whipped for that one, too.
He didn’t mind Alicia knowing about the trouble he got in as a boy. He liked the way she fit in with his family members, never forgetting a name, or who was married to whom. They all liked her immediately, and he’d been asked more than once if he had any plans to settle down. He always made the same response: “By the time your youngest child graduates college, I promise I’ll be married.” It would be several years before any of his nieces and nephews even graduated high school, much less college, so the response hardly revealed anything imminent.
His parents made no secret of the fact that they thought Alicia a wonderful girl, but he kept equally mum with them, evading their questions about his intentions to stress that they hadn’t known each other very long. His mother smiled, stating that was often plenty of time to recognize Ms. Right. Funny how people tended to think that all a man had to do was tell a woman he wanted her always and she would be his. The way he saw it the man didn’t do the choosing; the woman did. If there was one thing he knew about Alicia, it was that she wasn’t to be taken for granted. They were together right now and having a wonderful time, but he had no assurances she would be around in another month. He only knew that he intended to do whatever he could to keep her in his life.
A cruise, in Jack’s opinion, presented the perfect opportunity to get together with family without constantly
being in each other’s way. He and Alicia had plenty of time to themselves. They usually spent a part of each day in the lounge listening to a singer accompany himself on the guitar, while most of the others preferred to listen to the jazz pianist who played near the dining room. They frequently went dancing after dinner, and they saw all the shows the shipboard entertainers put on. They spent perhaps a half hour in the ship’s casino daily. Like him, she disliked slot machines. He’d been surprised at her skill at blackjack; she’d actually come out ahead of him.
But he and Alicia sometimes went their separate ways as well. She enjoyed morning stretch classes on deck and shopping in the ship’s boutiques with his sisters and sisters-in-law. He’d even found her once in the café, having pastries and coffee with his parents. She was so personable. No wonder everyone wanted her to remain in his life.
Jack’s favorite public activity by far was dancing with her. He enjoyed holding her, nuzzling her neck and swaying with her, either on a hardwood floor inside or out on deck under the stars, surrounded by other couples. At last he’d found the woman for him.
Just like his mother said he would.
Alicia closed her eyes, loving the feel of Jack’s hand pressed against the small of her back. She’d had such a wonderful time on this trip. The Devlin family treated her with genuine affection. Jack’s sister Felice confided that he hadn’t brought a companion to a family function in years, adding, “You must be quite special to him.”
She’d merely given a noncommittal Mona Lisa smile in response to Felice’s comment, but secretly she wondered if she and Jack had indeed embarked on what could possibly become a permanent bond. That in itself represented an epiphany. It amazed her that she could even consider settling down with one person, but her daydreams certainly had merit. She and Jack got along so well, sex was dynamite, and, perhaps most important of all, he’d been right at her side through the ordeal of losing her mother and the shock of learning of her adoption.
Derek Taylor told her that Jack literally told him to get lost when he called to check on her the night after the funeral, that awful night when she gave into despair after Daphne’s cruel announcement.
Normally, learning of such a possessive action would have her grinding her teeth in anger, but this time she merely laughed it off. Maybe she was softening…or maybe—and she tried not to consider this, preferring to tell herself she didn’t care—deep down she felt relief that her less-than-stellar family background hadn’t affected Jack’s opinion of her.
She knew that one day she’d have to tell him the whole story about the death of her parents, that there was much more to her background than just being the daughter of a poor young couple from Hartford. And one day she would show him how much he looked like her father, once she had more time to get accustomed to the idea. She chuckled. That obscure sighting Sam referred to that would trigger long-dormant memories had come, all right, in the form of Jack Devlin. She just didn’t understand why until she saw her father’s photograph.
Part of her envied Jack for his secure position as part of a large, loving family. Alicia’s brother-in-law, Todd, had called her a few times to see how she was doing, even spoke about bringing little Fletch down to see her, but she never expected to see Daphne again.
Alicia felt she had done a fine job of accepting her past, and all by herself. Contrary to what both Sam and Jack said—Jack without benefit of knowing the full story behind her adoption—she needed no professional sessions lying on a couch pouring her heart out to a stranger to help her cope. She’d just hired a P.I. to do a search for neighbors of her birth parents to help her learn about them, just so she could have a clearer picture of their personalities.
She couldn’t deny a healthy curiosity about certain aspects of her psyche, like why she had retained vague memories of her birth father but virtually none of her birth mother. Caroline Timberlake was the only mother she remembered. Was that why she formed such an attachment to Caroline but not to Fletcher?
Then and now, Alicia shrugged off her interest as being natural. It certainly didn’t keep her up nights.
Suddenly aware that Jack no longer guided her and they’d stopped moving, Alicia opened her eyes. The musicians had stopped playing. She’d been so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t realized it.
Tomorrow they would leave all this behind and fly back to New York. Still, she had high hopes for a continuing relationship with Jack after a sharp change of environment, from balmy breezes and temperatures in the eighties to the harshness of February in the Northeast.
In the meantime, there was always tonight, the two of them together in their cabin’s queen-sized bed.
Chapter 32
All You Need Is Love
Alicia rolled on her back to shut off the CD that began playing promptly at six-thirty, signaling it was time to get up. Then she returned to her side and snuggled up to Jack like she’d been doing before the alarm. “I knew I should have told Shannon I’d take today off,” she said.
“I thought you were nuts, going in the day after we got back,” Jack said sleepily.
“I know. I just felt a little guilty because of all the time I took off last month.”
“I’m sure she didn’t expect you to go right back to work the day after your mother’s funeral. Besides, you’re an owner, not just an employee.”
“Yes, but I’m not a fifty/fifty owner. I only own thirty-five percent of the business. Shannon has the rest.”
His muscular brown arm tightened around her waist. “Don’t go yet,” he mumbled. “Stay here with me a little longer. You might not be a fifty/fifty partner, but you’re a salaried employee. It’s not like you have to worry about having your pay docked if you don’t get in until ten.”
Alicia made no attempt to move. She felt as content as Jack to simply lie here, listening to the sounds of the city traffic four flights down. He’d spent a lot of time here with her so far this year. On New Year’s Eve they ventured down to Times Square in the cold to watch the apple drop, along with thousands of other New Yorkers. She found that she liked his being here, and she’d never invited any other man to spend as much time with her at home as she had Jack.
The old unstrung feelings had dissipated once she understood what caused them. Funny how the human mind worked. Jack’s showing up at her doorstep that night last October brought back memories of the features of a father she barely remembered.
She hadn’t told him yet of his resemblance to Benjamin Clements. He’d probably find it amusing, but she still wasn’t ready to discuss the details. Maybe after the detective she hired to track down former neighbors of her birth parents came up with some names and addresses for her.
She hadn’t discussed Benjamin Clements’ resemblance to Jack with anyone. The only other person she’d discussed her adoption with besides Jack and Sam McDaniel was Martha. She’d taken a day off to drive up to Green’s Farms and check in with Martha, and with Lucky as well. Martha told her that the setter had been whimpering daily, not understanding what happened to his mistress, or why he’d been banished to the guest house.
From Martha, Alicia learned that Daphne and Todd planned to move in to the house on February first. Daphne, who stopped working as a second-grade teacher when she became pregnant with little Fletch, came by the house regularly to clean out Caroline’s things. “She always leaves a mess for me to clean up,” Martha said with a chuckle. “I think she wants to make sure I have plenty to do.”
Alicia found herself smiling at Martha’s good-natured reaction to Daphne’s antics, but then pushed the thoughts of Daphne and even Martha out of her mind and concentrated solely on Jack. She’d never experienced such easy camaraderie with a man before, and she enjoyed it thoroughly. Again she wondered if this was the type of relationship Rhonda and Pete had. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, if you took away the part about having your life turned upside down in order to accommodate someone who should be able to take care of their own basic needs, like feeding themselves or pressing a clea
n shirt or pushing a vacuum cleaner. Marriage shouldn’t reduce an independent person to a pathetic shell of their former, single self. Yet, strangely enough, she didn’t feel hemmed in, even with her being against the wall and Jack’s solid frame lying between her and the edge of the bed.
With her index finger she began tracing a straight line down from his throat to his chest, down to his belly button and beyond, clamping on his morning erection with a delighted gasp.
His words came out as a growl. “Don’t start anything you can’t finish.”
“I guess I’ll have to be more than a little late for work,” she said matter-of-factly.
Jack instantly came to life. “In that case I’m all yours. Have your way with me, pretty lady.”
Climbing atop him, she proceeded to do just that, pausing only to pull a condom packet from a small crocheted bag under her pillow.
Jack watched, incredulous, as she proceeded to apply the prophylactic. He’d dated women who kept a supply of protection, but he’d never have one put it on him before.
He moaned in pleasure as their bodies connected. He gripped her firm thighs as she raised and lowered her hips in fluid movements, looking at her through heavy-lidded eyes. What a way to wake up in the morning. He would walk on hot coals for the love of Alicia.
He felt her body quake on top of him, and she collapsed forward into his arms. “Oh, Jack,” she said breathlessly.
He wrapped one arm around her back and stroked her hair with his free hand. “I know, sweetheart.”
“We work pretty well together, don’t we?”
“Yes, we do.” He paused. “Alicia, you do realize I love you, don’t you?” He wished he could see her face, but it was turned away from him. At least she didn’t go rigid in his arms.
“It’s occurred to me, yes,” she said softly.
“It doesn’t frighten you?”
She shook her head. “Not like I thought it would.”
A Love for All Seasons Page 19
