“Jo,” he whispered, feathering a few kisses on her temple and down her cheek. “Are you okay?”
She swallowed hard once, running her hand across Nick’s strong arms over and over. She nodded once, still unable to pull her eyes away from the dead bear.
Nick nuzzled the bed of her neck, pulling her close. Vaguely, she could feel that he’d started trembling as well. “You came back… you were gone… but you left… you came back… you’re here…” he chanted, his grip growing even tighter. “You could have been killed,” he finished after a moment of silence.
“I know,” Jo whispered back, finally speaking. “But I saw you… then the bear… He was going to…” She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.
“I know, I know,” he crooned. He sighed softly. “You saved me, Jo. You came back… and saved my life.”
His words finally gave her the strength she needed to turn away from the grisly wreck in front of her, embracing him the way she should have the moment she knew he was safe. He tried to tilt her chin up for a kiss, but instead, her gaze travelled downward, bringing a slow, tentative smile to her face. “You know you’re naked, right?”
Nick chuckled. “And bloody, and bruised, and broken, but of course, that’s what you noticed first.” A hint of blush tinged her cheeks as he kissed her.
“You’re hurt?” Jo asked as he pulled away.
He nodded. “Nothing that won’t heal up fine with time. We bears have healing that a human like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I’m hurt, too,” Tom quipped from afar, attempting to lighten the mood. “You know… just in case anyone cares.” He grinned as they both looked at him. “I’m also woefully naked, so, I’m just going to stay over here.”
Jo cracked a smile. “I—”
Jo’s car bucked and groaned as metal bent and twisted, and she bit back a surprised yelp. A deep growl reverberated loudly through the trees, morphing and changing until it became a scream while bones cracked and popped in the background.
She watched as Tom moved cautiously forward, keeping himself expertly covered and decent for Jo’s eyes as he walked to the destroyed car. The bear that had once been on her hood was on the tail end of a change back, his human skin rippling and shivering in pain. With a final groan, he was fully human once more. His frame was smaller as a human, no longer wedged between car and tree, and with a pain-filled grunt, the man slid limply onto the dirt and damp leaves of the ground.
Tom leaned down, raising a hand forward to check the man’s pulse. As if on instinct, the man’s arm shot out for Tom’s throat. Tom intercepted it easily, pinning the arm behind the man’s back. “Now, now Dan. That’s the thanks I get for trying to see if you’re still alive?” The man only growled in response, though it sounded more painful than angry.
“Holy shit” Nick breathed, face shocked and filled with pity. “I can’t believe he survived that hit.”
“No one’s more surprised than me,” Dan rumbled, hissing in agony as if it was literal torture to talk.
Jo stared from Nick, to Tom, and then finally allowed her eyes to rest on Dan. “I…” she began. “I’m not a killer. I didn’t murder anyone with my car,” she breathed, her body sagging in relief.
Nick grinned. “I’m glad.”
Tom only snorted, still holding fast to Dan’s wayward arm. “Great. Just when life was shaping up to return to some form of normalcy,” he spat. He looked to his brother. “What do you want to do with him?”
Nick shrugged. “Not sure. Leave him here, I guess?”
Jo gasped. “You will not!”
“Doing anything otherwise would be taking on an unneeded risk,” Nick replied, genuinely perplexed by her response. “His pack will eventually return and find him here. Then they can decide what to do with him.”
“They think he’s dead, though,” Tom interjected, shrugging his nonchalance. “Not that I care. I just thought I’d point that out.”
Jo looked from one brother to another in disbelief. “He’s hurt!” she protested. “I hit him with my car! You can’t be seriously considering just leaving him out in the cold!”
“He’s a shifter, Jo,” Nick reassured. “We heal faster than you could ever imagine.”
“Well he’s not healed now,” Jo rebutted, standing. “And that’s on me.”
“Only because he was about to kill me,” Nick replied, standing after her.
“That’s beside the point,” Jo retorted, and in a burst of courage, she made the short walk to where Dan lay pinned in the dirt. Leaning down, she asked, “How badly are you hurt?” Dan growled at her.
“Hey,” Tom warned, twisting Dan’s arm uncomfortably. “Like it or not, she’s the closest thing you’ve got to a friend right now, bud. Play nice.”
Jo was unfazed, knowing that he could do little harm in his broken state. She only felt a bit of pity. “Can you walk?”
Dan glowered at her for a few beats of silence before giving one tiny shake of his head.
“Right,” Jo sighed, standing. “Tom, could you stay here with him while Nick and I go grab a car?
Nick raised an eyebrow. “Jo, you know we’re miles from the shop, right? And your car is in bad shape?”
Jo paused. “Crap, you’re right.” She pondered further. “I guess I’ll hang out here as well, but if we want to get everyone back to the shop easily, we’ll need a car.”
Nick looked at her in mild amusement. “Well, if that’s the case, you can always ride me?”
Jo couldn’t stop the blush that washed excitedly across her face. “Nick!” she chastised.
Nick barked a laugh. “I mean on my bear! Like a horse.” He narrowed his eyes mischievously at her “What did you think I meant?”
“Not really the time guys,” Tom grumbled. “Big boy here’s starting to shiver, and my leg is pretty messed up. I don’t think I’d be able to change and run back if I wanted.”
Nick’s face fell, immediately serious again. “Are you okay?”
Tom grimaced. “I will be,” he said, waving Nick away. “You just worry about getting a car. And bring us back some clothes too, will ya?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick agreed, stalking off in into the night to change once more. “I’ll make some noise once I’m set up, Jo,” he called back before darkness swallowed him up.
Jo looked to Dan’s prone form, staring for a beat of silence before dutifully removing her coat. Careful not to walk near his free—but very broken—arm, she gently draped the thick coat over his cold body.
Dan frowned, his face etched with pain. “Why?”
Jo could tell he was going through some tough emotions behind those dark and angry eyes. He was the enemy, after all. But try as she might to think as Nick and Tom did, seeing him as a proper threat while lying in a pool of his own blood just wasn’t in her programming.
She shrugged. “Because you’re cold.” She stood and tuned to walk away.
“I tried to kill Nick!” Dan shouted as she walked, pain evident in his voice.
Jo sighed. He didn’t sound proud to say it, she thought. He sounded confused, and in pain. Maybe even a bit scared. She tilted her head slightly, not quite turning back around. “Yes, you did, and I don’t ever think I could be okay with that, but right now you’re hurting, possibly dying, and I won’t allow you or your pack to put that on my conscience.” She continued her walk to a nearby tree, leaving against it heavily as she waited for Nick’s signal.
“You okay?” Tom asked softly, walking over to where she sat at the base of the tree.
She shrugged. “I guess.” She searched her mind for the words to explain how she was feeling, and could find none. “He’s… Everything’s… It’s all just a lot to unpack for me,” she finished solemnly.
Glancing over at him, Jo asked, “You sure it’s a good idea to leave him unrestrained like that?” A faint smile tilted her lips. “I may be the one here showing mercy, but even I have limits.”
Tom waved the thought away. “Nah. W
ith the state he’s currently in, he could barely hurt a fly,” he calmed.
Jo recalled the way Dan’s arm shot out to attach Tom earlier and silently disagreed. “I’ll take your word for it.” They sat in silence for a while, the wind brisk enough that Jo briefly regretted trying to be such a Good Samaritan.
“Jo, I want you to know that all of this… all of me, and how I’ve been reacting… all that was never about you. You seem like a nice person in general, and an even better person for Nick. I was only trying to protect him.”
Jo shook her head sadly. “Tom, how could I ever possibly hurt someone as amazing and strong as Nick?”
He looked pointedly at her. “By dying.”
Oh.
“Right,” she amended softly. “It wouldn’t be too hard to do that as a human, would it?” she looked away. “That’s why you always say humans and shifters don’t mix. The danger.”
“Right,” Tom confirmed.
She leaned her head against the tree. “What if I decide to stay?” she asked, surprising herself. She hadn’t really thought much about her future after quitting, only that the first thing she’d wanted to do was apologize to Nick and thank him for making her stronger. But now, after what had happened between them… she’d almost lost him forever. Could she honestly still say goodbye and move on without a second thought?
Tom chuckled, a light and easy noise in the night. “For once, I’m going to leave that up to you and Nick to decide.” He looked down at her with a faint expression of kindness on his face—the first he’d shown Jo since she met him. “You came back. You’re a human, and still you came back. That’s proof enough for me.”
Jo’s nose wrinkled in mild confusion. “Proof? Of what?”
“That you’re Nick’s mate,” Tom answered. “Which you know probably nothing about, so don’t worry.”
“Could you try explaining it to me?” Jo asked. “It doesn’t have to be super in depth. I just want to know more about shifters… about Nick.”
Tom shrugged. “It’s nothing too complicated. It basically means that you and Nick belong together. Bound for life, if you want to be dramatic. Think love at first sight, or whatever you humans call it, only it’s more, and different than love. You still have to find that on your own…” he glanced down at her, “which I’m sure you already have.”
“Bound for life, huh?” Jo swallowed a bit, taking it all in. “What would have happened if I didn’t come back, then?” Just asking the question aloud made her heart break a little.
“Then he wouldn’t find anyone else,” Tom answered, voice matter-of-factly, but sympathetic. “He’d be alone.”
“Forever?” Jo asked, surprised
“Forever.”
“How could you be sure?” Jo probed, desperately.
“Do you really think you’d be the first mate to deny the bond? The first to walk away?” Tom asked her. “This isn’t an easy life. Like mere humans, we have complex thoughts and emotions that interfere with instinct. Many have gone their entire lives. Mate bonds don’t discriminate, but people do. If they’re scared, or have the slightest bit of doubt, it could fester into something big enough to overcome the urge to mate… temporarily.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… how did you feel when you finally got away from Rawlins?” Tom asked.
“Better… and then worse,” Jo answered with a frown.
“And in San Francisco?” he prompted.
Jo recalled her emotions in the hotel room. “I’d thought that maybe I overreacted. And I felt really depressed that I’d decided to run away instead of face my issues head on.”
“Ah,” Tom said. “That makes sense. And how did you feel when you decided you were going to come back to Rawlins and see Nick?” He raised an amused eyebrow. “And don’t sugarcoat it. Remember, I saw the look on your face when you stood in the office waiting for him.”
Jo blushed, recalling the eagerness she’d had at the time, stumbling over her heels in an effort to get to Nick as quickly as she could. “Yeah the excitement just kept building. Pretty soon it was the only thing on my mind. Well, until…” Her voice trailed off as she gestured to the forest.
Tom laughed. “See, you can’t escape the bond forever. The rightness of it. Sure, you can ignore it, but you’ll never truly be happy until you give in.”
His smile faltered and then fell completely. “And even then, it’s not the only mate loss we know. As bears, we fight, we die, and we lose the ones we love. The high possibly of your mate dying in battle is just another fact of life for us.” He didn’t sound bitter, but it hurt Jo’s heart to see him speak of death so nonchalantly. She imagined he must’ve seen a lot of it to grow so numb. “That’s something the both of you have to be prepared for.” He looked over to her. “When a bear’s mate has died, I’ve never seen them love again. I know that’s not something you’re prepared for, no one ever is, but you deserve to know.”
“So… my only options are to stay and love him forever and risk my humanness becoming a crutch for your pack, or run away where I’m not a burden, but always love and miss him no matter how I try to distract myself?”
Tom nodded. “And have him love and miss you uncontrollably in return.”
“Those are crappy options,” Jo muttered, making to bark a laugh.
“When it comes to love, they always are.”
The thought of being with Nick for life was exciting, and enticing, and everything she wanted, but now that she had the full picture, a small part of her understood why Tom reacted the way he did. She was human. Her life would always be one that was easier to take than theirs. If she allowed Nick to love her, she’d willingly be his greatest weakness for as long as she lived.
Was it worth it?
A loud roar sounded not too far from where they were sitting, but Jo wasn’t scared. It was like a part of her knew that it was Nick, her mate, calling out for her, and she found deep down that she didn’t want to be apart from him for a moment longer.
“I guess I’m staying then.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Nick’s throat rattled in warning as Tom placed Dan down on the worn couch. He’s injured, he told his bear. He can’t hurt us.
Jo looked over his shoulder worriedly. “Are you going to call a doctor?”
Tom laughed. “And tell them what?”
“Oh, yeah. Right,” Jo muttered, a bit of embarrassed blush tinging her cheeks.
“No need to be embarrassed,” Nick consoled with a smile. “Who’d expect you to know?” He shot a glare at his brother. “Stop teasing.”
Tom chuckled. “Fine, fine.” Glancing at Jo, he said, “You remember that big nasty cut Nick had on his shoulder?” he asked. “The one I’m told you dressed?”
Jo gave Nick and Tom a confused look. “Yeah.”
Tom clapped Nick on the back where the wound had been, hard. “Notice how I can do that without it spewing blood?”
Nick winced. “Though it’d be much more effective a demonstration if I wasn’t injured in other ways, Tom,” he hissed through gritted teeth.
“No pain, no gain, brother,” Tom said with a grin. “Anyway, I’m sure she gets it.” He turned back to Jo. “We heal faster than humans. Fast enough that, if you had the time, you could probably watch some of Nick’s wounds closing up right before your eyes right now.”
“Let’s not leave out the part where the worse the wound the slower it heals,” Nick added. He looked down at Dan where he lay unconscious on the couch, and felt a bit of pity for him. He’d passed out from the shock and blood loss about half way to the shop. “Dan’s the luckiest bear I know to not be dead right now. Who knows how long it’ll take for him to recover from this, or if he’ll come out of it unscathed for that matter.”
“What he needs right now is rest,” Tom continued. “Then a good cleaning up to assess just how messed up he is, a re-setting of bones, and then I’ll cast him and let his body do the rest.”
Jo’s jaw d
ropped. “You can seriously do all of that?” she asked, in awe.
Tom shrugged, but Nick could see his slight blush in the face of Jo’s wonder. “It’s no big deal. We’ve been at this a long time. You learn things.”
He shooed in their direction. “Anyway, I’ll see to Dan,” he assured. “I have some locks to secure the door when I leave, not that he could do anything to me in his state, but still. I’ll be safe here by myself. Why don’t you guys go on up to the cabin? Get some rest.”
“What about your leg?” Jo asked.
Nick watched Tom favor his injured leg a little less, feigning nonchalance. “Nothing I can’t take care of,” he replied without missing a beat. “You just go take care of you.”
***
It didn’t really hit Nick that Jo was back, really back until she was in his car going back to the cabin. She’s really here, with me. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, in case it might break some crazy illusion that he’d used on himself.
He pulled up on the cabin and heard her stifle a gasp as she took in the damage. “What happened?” she whispered.
Nick rubbed his chin. “It was a warning,” he said, shrugging as if there was nothing more to say.
“Nick,” Jo sighed. “I’m only going to make things worse for you, aren’t I?”
He nodded. “But not because of the Northern Wind.” He pushed open the front door, stepping inside and offering her a hand.
“You’ll make things worse by drinking the last of the coffee, or taking all the blankets in bed. You’ll make things worse when you eat my fries, or you ask me for fashion advice. You’ll make everything infinitely worse when you leave the room and the light you carry leaves with you. You’ll make my life worst in the best way, Jo.
“But do you know the worst thing I could possibly imagine right now?” She shook her head, eyes filled with admiration. “It’s you, walking back out that door, and leaving for good this time. I don’t think I could survive it.” He slowly raised her hands to his lips and kissed each finger.
“I’m sorry for running away, Nick,” she whispered, breathless and near tears.
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