by Carrie Elks
Holly laughed. “Yeah, and we’ll end up in bed and treeless.”
“Sounds pretty good to me.”
She relaxed against the seat. “Nope, we’re getting a tree. Come on, let’s go.”
He turned on the engine, driving out of the town square and onto the main road out of Winterville. He’d been to the Christmas Tree Farm once before – eight years ago, when Holly was showing him around the town.
“Remember when we came down here on the snowmobile?” Holly asked, clearly thinking of the same thing.
“I thought you were going to kill me. You drove like a maniac.”
She smiled. “You were the worst passenger. You held onto me like a leech.”
“That wasn’t because I was scared,” he told her, his lips curling. “It’s because I wanted to feel beneath your coat.”
As they rounded the curve in the road, the farm came into view. The landscape was covered with fir trees, large and small, stretched as far as the eye could see. He pulled into the almost full parking lot, in front of the expansive shop where most people picked up their trees, and switched off the engine.
“So, picking a tree is really an individual thing,” Holly said, sliding her hand into his once they’d both climbed out of the SUV. He loved how she always had to be touching him. He felt the same way. “Amber’s mom used to say that you don’t pick the tree, the tree picks you.”
“Amber?”
“She’s North’s business partner. Her mom used to run the farm until she died. Amber couldn’t handle it alone, so she sold fifty percent to North. He’s always loved this place, so it was a match made in heaven.”
“I think I remember Amber’s mom. Didn’t she try to chase me off the farm?” His brows knitted as he tried to remember his last visit all those years ago. He’d been too distracted by Holly to recall it in detail.
“That’s right.” Holly grinned. “How could I forget that. Luckily Amber is much more chilled. She’s like one of the family. We all love her.”
As soon as they walked through the door, the smell of pine trees hit them. A sweet note mingled with the low mustiness, giving it an almost addictive quality. It reminded him of the aroma of turpentine on a freshly varnished floor.
“Hey!” A pretty brunette walked over to Holly and hugged her. “I didn’t know you were coming today. North didn’t mention it.”
“I didn’t tell him.” Holly looked around the shop, her fingers still intertwined with Josh’s. “Where is he anyway?”
“Guess.” Amber rolled her eyes and looked at the far end of the shop. There was a huge picture window, overlooking the farm beyond. At least ten women were standing there, noses almost pressed against the glass.
“Chopping logs?” When trees fell or were unsuitable for sale, North would chop them for firewood. It was a lucrative side business for them.
“Yep.” Amber’s gaze swept to Josh’s. “Can you believe it? He’s just swinging an axe and it attracts all this attention. I’m just glad it’s winter. It’s so much worse in summer when he takes his shirt off.”
One of the women watching him let out a long, low sigh. Amber shook her head. “There aren’t enough good looking guys in Winterville. Speaking of which, we haven’t been formally introduced, though I saw you at the town meeting.” She looked down at Holly’s hand, still enveloped in Josh’s.
“This is Josh Gerber.” Holly smiled at him and he melted a little. “Josh, this is Amber Stone. She’s one of the few people who keep my cousin’s head on his shoulders.”
“It’s a losing battle,” Amber said dryly, as one of the ogling women rapped on the window and called out North’s name. “The man practically has his own fan club.” She glanced at Josh again. “I figure he doesn’t know you’re both here together.”
“Not yet. But I’m guessing he’ll figure it out.” Holly gave Amber a tight smile. “We want to choose a tree for Josh’s house.”
“Of course.” Amber walked over to the desk by the entrance, grabbing a pad, pencil, and yellow tie. “Do you know what kind of tree you’re looking for?” she asked Josh.
“I have no idea.” He glanced at Holly. “I haven’t chosen a tree before.”
Amber didn’t flinch. “How big is your living room?”
“It’s about three hundred square feet,” he said.
“And the height of the room?” Amber jotted something down.
“Ten feet.”
“Great. You can pretty much fit any kind of tree. The important thing is to decide what kind of shape you want, what color. And the sharpness of the needles, too. Holly knows most of this stuff, she’ll steer you right.” She handed the pad and ribbon to Holly. “You know the drill. Choose your tree, write down the row number, then tie a ribbon around it. We’ll get it cut and bagged up for you.”
“Do most people choose their own?” Josh asked.
“Not as many as they used to. We get a lot of online orders now, and sell a lot of ready-bagged trees. People just don’t have as much time as they used to. Plus there’s our trade supply. That makes up at least fifty percent of our business. North’s done an amazing job at building that side of the company up.”
A customer interrupted them.“Ma’am, I’m looking for a six foot tree. It needs to be hypoallergenic. Do you have anything?”
Amber smiled at the customer standing behind her. “You okay to go ahead and choose your tree?” she asked Holly.
“Sure, you go ahead and serve. We’ve got this.”
20
They walked out of the shop and into the farm itself. There was a cold breeze blowing, lifting the branches of the trees that laid out before them, dancing through their branches and scattering their covers of snow.
Josh seemed pleased that she’d invited him here. Maybe it was a big step for them both. They were publicly acknowledging that they had a little something going on.
It made her feel warm and anxious in equal measure.
Warm, because she wanted to make him happy. Wanted to see that smile pulling at his lips more often.
And anxious? Because she was getting a little addicted to Josh Gerber.
She pushed her hand into her jeans pocket. His pebble was there. She hadn’t given it back to him yet, and he hadn’t asked. She kind of liked carrying a piece of him around with her.
“Holly.” North looked up at her, the axe still in his hands, the blade resting on the half-cut trunk. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey.” She smiled. “We’re hunting for a tree for Josh.”
North’s eyes swept over them both, then landed on Josh. “Uhuh.”
Holly squeezed Josh’s hand. “Any tips on where we should look? I was thinking of a Douglas Fir, they always smell the best.”
“You’ll be spending most of your time cleaning up the needles,” North said, his fingers still curled around the axe handle. There was a tic in his jaw, but his expression betrayed nothing. “We got some white firs over in the far field that are looking good. Smell good, too, if you treat them right.”
His gaze slid to Josh then back to her. He remained silent.
She gave North a smile. “Thank you, we’ll go check them out.”
The two of them stared at each other for a moment, then Josh nodded, and North nodded back. A little thrill rushed through her – was North accepting the fact she was here with Josh?
Was it really that easy?
“You go ahead,” she said to Josh, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I just want to talk to North for a second.”
Josh held her gaze. “Sure.”
His boots pressed down in the snow as he walked in the direction North had indicated. North watched him leave, then brought his attention to Holly.
“So that’s happening, huh?”
“I thought you’d be angry.”
“Is that why you ambushed me with it here? To make sure I behaved?”
“Something like that. And Josh really does need a tree. His house is so empty.” She pulled her
lip between her teeth. “Thank you for not making a scene.”
“It’s a mess, Hol. You know that, right?”
“It’s complicated, that’s for sure.” She nodded. “But it’ll be less complicated once Christmas is over. At least I’ll be able to be completely honest with him then.” And she couldn’t wait. Sure, they agreed not to talk about business and Winterville, but it still made her feel uneasy to keep secrets. And by then he would have notice.
“You think he’ll be okay with what we’re doing?”
“I have no idea. But it’s business, right?”
North nodded. “Right.” His eyes flickered in Josh’s direction again. “The man’s got it bad for you.”
“Shut up.” Her cheeks flamed.
“I’m not kidding. The way he looks at you says it all.”
Holly pulled her lip between her teeth. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
“I think you like complex things. You like solving problems. And if anybody can solve this one, you can.”
“I really thought you’d react badly.” She bit down a smile, looking away. “You’ve never liked him.”
“You know me better than that. I’m not such a hot head anymore. I worry about you. I want you to be happy. But you’re a grown ass woman, Hol. What you decide to do with your life is up to you.” He pressed his lips together. “And as for Josh, well I guess I don’t know him yet, do I?”
He swung the axe again, and somebody banged their fist on the window, where they were ogling him from the shop.
“I told Amber to paint over that damn glass,” he muttered.
“You could chop the wood elsewhere,” Holly suggested. “Where you don’t have an audience.”
“Tried that. They just find me. And then they get hypothermia to boot. At least this way they keep warm and I don’t have to worry about getting sued.”
“Shut up,” Holly said, grinning. “You love it.” They all did. North and Gabe, even Kris. The three of them had attracted female attention since they’d been teenagers. Now they were in their thirties, and their appeal to the women of Winterville hadn’t lessened any.
North rolled his eyes. “Go get your Christmas tree.”
“I’m going.” She blew him a kiss. “Thank you. I mean it.”
“Yeah well. Just don’t get hurt, that’s all I ask.”
“Not planning on it.” She turned and headed after Josh, putting her smaller boots into the tracks he’d left, allowing her to catch up with him, feeling lighter than she had in days.
For somebody that didn’t celebrate Christmas, Josh seemed to know a heck of a lot about it. After they’d picked out their tree – an eight foot white fir with a perfect conical shape and mid green needles that smelled citrusy and fresh when you touched them – they’d headed back into Winterville where he insisted on stopping at the Christmas All Year Round shop for decorations.
They’d spent half an hour debating the merits of angels versus stars on the top of the tree. In the end he’d chosen a star, a beautifully simple white design that looked like it was worth way more than the forty dollars he paid for it. They’d waited patiently while his lights and ornaments were packed up, then headed back down to the tree farm where North had cut and packaged their tree.
And now they were back at Josh’s house, the log fire sparking and hissing, the stereo streaming a playlist that Josh had chosen – fittingly with Candy singing most of the songs.
She showed him how to fit the lights on first, followed by the decorations – simple ones, just like the star, that highlighted his elegant taste. Shiny silver ornaments mixed with white leaping reindeer and fake hibiscus leaves, along with a thick satin ribbon that they’d wound through the branches, reflecting the tiny lights in a way that was almost magical.
“Now you have to put the topper on,” Holly said, passing him the big white star. “And make a wish.”
“A wish?” His forehead furrowed. “Isn’t that for blowing out candles?”
“It works for Christmas tree toppers, too.”
“Let’s do it together.” He passed her the star, his fingers still curled around it, and she tried to reach to the top. And failed miserably.
“I’m too short.”
“I’m not.” He left her holding the star and slid his hands down her sides, tightening them around her waist. The next moment he was lifting her, until the top of the tree was an arm’s reach away. She laughed as she slid the topper on, then he brought her down and pulled her close.
“Do you do this every year?” he asked her.
“Decorate a tree?” She shook her head. “Not every year. This year I wasn’t planning on being in my apartment so I didn’t bother.”
“But you did it when you were a kid, right?”
“Yeah. Candy used to let us decorate together if we were all here at the right time.”
“What about your mom? Did you decorate with her?”
Holly’s throat tightened. She shook her head. “Not often. She didn’t like the way I put all the decorations in one place when I was younger, so she’d do it while I was asleep. And as I got older, she was busy in her relationships. Sometimes she didn’t bother decorating at all.”
He pressed his lips to her brow. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“It’s okay. For the past few years I’ve helped decorate the trees at the women’s shelter where I volunteer, and that’s always been so much fun. All the kids get completely overexcited and local companies donate so many decorations and toys. I still get my Christmas fix, just in different ways.”
“Is that why you volunteer? To give those kids a better life?”
She blinked. Nobody had ever asked her that before. “The shelter approached me because so many of their clients needed financial help. A lot of them had never dealt with money before, most of them weren’t allowed to. Financial abuse can be as bad as other types of abuse. Another way to exert control.”
“That’s why every woman should have their own bank account,” he murmured. “Like you told my grandma.”
“Exactly. A shrink would probably tell me that my choice of job is directly influenced by how my mom lived her life. Flitting from husband to husband, always looking for somebody to take care of her. And when they weren’t around, she’d come running home to her mom for help. She never took responsibility for herself.” Or for Holly. And yeah, that still stung. “I like being able to help those who don’t have power over their lives. I love watching them become empowered, become strong.
“Is that why you didn’t get married?” he asked her. “Because you were afraid of being disempowered.”
She let out a long breath. This conversation was well overdue, she knew that. If she was brave enough to take Josh to North’s shop, she could be brave enough for this. Even if she didn’t come out of it smelling of roses.
“I was young and stupid and made bad decisions,” she told him. “My mom had recently remarried, and I’d just graduated from college. For the first time in my life, she actually wanted to spend time with me. She invited me to her new husband’s house in Sicily for the summer. We’d swim together, go out for drinks, it was like she was a good friend for the first time in my life. And then I met Marco.”
“Your fiancé.” Josh’s jaw was tight.
“He was my mom’s husband’s nephew. He worked for him. We started double dating. I loved that my mom was giving me so much attention. She’d climb into my bed at night and we’d whisper and giggle about our men. And she’d have all these wonderful ideas about how we’d spend the rest of our lives in Sicily with them. It was like being part of her inner circle, when before she’d barely noticed me.”
“So you agreed to marry him.”
Holly bit her lip. “Yeah. And it was a mistake from the start. But it made everybody so happy. Especially Mom. I guess for her it was a vindication of the way she lived her life. She kept saying that she’d found her daughter again. And I lapped it up.”
Josh sat on the sofa, pullin
g her onto his lap. She nestled into him, feeling his arms wrap around her.
“As the wedding approached, I started realizing what a mistake it was. I hardly knew this guy. I had no job, no prospects of getting one, and I was homesick as hell. Then I called my grandma and she told me I was making a mistake.”
“Sounds like she was right.”
Holly nodded, her face pressed into his neck. Damn, he smelled good. “Grandma flew over and my mom took it personally. Told her to butt out, that I was her daughter. That Candy had made more than enough mistakes with her own children, and she didn’t need to stick her nose in here. So Grandma arranged for a private jet to pick her up from the airport. Told me there was a place on there for me if I wanted it. And that no matter what I did, she’d always love me and be there to take care of me.”
“You left him.”
“It didn’t feel like I was leaving Marco. I barely knew him. It was my mom I was leaving. And she was so angry, so hurt. She wouldn’t speak to me after.”
Josh brushed his hand over Holly’s hair, pulling her closer. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I could have handled it so much better.” She sighed. “Things between me and my mom were never great, but I made everything so much worse. I don’t think we’ll ever have the kind of mother and daughter relationship other people have.”
“Would you like that?” he asked her.
She pulled her lip between her teeth, considering her answer. “I guess I’d like to be cordial with her. And not argue every time we see one another. But I don’t know how to get to that point.”
“For what it’s worth,” he said softly, his eyes catching hers. “I’ve never met a stronger woman than you. If anybody can make it work, it’s you.”
Her heart did a little flip flop. “Thank you.”
A half smile pulled at his lips. His eyes were hooded, desire sparking in the depths behind them. “Do you want to know what I wished for?” he asked, brushing his lips across her collarbone.
“What?” She tipped her head back to give him better access. Her ass pressed against his legs, and she could feel him stirring beneath her.
