Two separate disasters, two different abilities instilled in their eyes, and the “huge mouth” linking them together.
And then Hibiya babbling. “I think this girl may have died. I have to help her.” A theory started to take form in my head.
“So maybe both you and whoever you were with got eaten by that…something. And then you were the only ones that came back out. With those abilities…”
Kido picked up the thread before I could finish the thought.
“And not one of our companions has ever been found. Which means that, after they got swallowed, they’re still over at…wherever they got sent to.”
It was a twisty, frenzied tale, but—whether coincidence or not—it worked as an explanation. Between Momo’s nascent ability, our missing father, and a “truth” we never would have found alone, it felt like we were slowly building a path to some ultimate answer.
“And, you know, we kinda thought about that, too. Like, what if each of those people we cared about is still alive, inside that ‘mouth’ or whatever? We’re trying to investigate everything we can about it, ’cause…I mean, we care about them, inside of there. But given how all the memories of the time we spent in there are wiped…”
Kido sighed midsentence, immersing herself back into the cushions. There was little imagining the kind of hardships they had between losing their parents, their families, the people important to them, and making it here.
Being all alone, with those bizarre superpowers, may have caused them all kinds of grief.
I began to wonder what they even thought about life, about living in a state like this.
It was hard to imagine. And that made me all the more aware of how much of a self-centered, totally carefree life I had been leading.
What else would you call it? I gave up on everything so I could live an empty life of seclusion. What would I ever understand about these guys?
They were so eager to help Hibiya because they knew what kind of “pain” he was going through. They knew it all too well themselves.
“So, that’s the long and short of it.”
Kido was first to break the tense silence.
“Basically, we kind of know how we got these abilities, but we really don’t, either. What I’m thinking, though, is that we can at least take care of Hibiya until he gains some control over his own skills. We’re kind of used to that process by now, so…I don’t know what happened to the girl he said was with him when he got, you know, swallowed or whatever, but I’d like to do what we can to search for—”
“W-wait a sec.”
Kido seemed just about done with her story. I wasn’t ready for that.
The path forward was now perfectly obvious, as if somebody carefully laid out every brick of it for me.
“You said you don’t remember anything from when you were in there, right? You, and everyone else?”
“Y-yeah. Yeah, nothing. Nothing until I opened my eyes again.”
Kido was cagey with her reply, unaware of what direction I was taking this.
“I just remembered. Hibiya told Konoha that he ‘just stood there and watched.’ Maybe he would…”
Kido’s eyes opened wide as she realized the portent behind my words.
“Maybe he remembers, you know? What’s on the other side of that mouth?”
In an instant, Kido shot to her feet and began walking away from the sofa.
“Hey…Hey, where’re you going?! He’s sleeping right now, remember?”
She twitched a bit again, then slumped back into the sofa.
Her eyes were averted, her cheeks a little red, ashamed at her sudden, impulsive behavior.
An impartial witness to that scene, a far cry from our grave conversation of a moment ago, probably would observe, “Oh, yeah, you’re a girl, I guess I kinda forget sometimes.” Luckily, I didn’t say that. Otherwise, I would’ve rag-dolled farther than Kano whenever he mouthed off within earshot of her.
“Yeah, I…I mean, I know why you’d be in a hurry. I’m kinda a victim here, too. I haven’t seen my dad in years, but if I ever saw him again…”
If I ever saw him again, what would that do for me?
What’d I even say to him?
What would my dad think when presented with this son of his who spent the past several years rotting away, alone in his bedroom?
“Shintaro?”
“Hmm? Oh, sorry…But anyway, let’s keep going with this tomorrow. Guess Kano’s not gettin’ back anytime soon, anyway.”
The walls of the hideout were festooned with clocks of every variety, from digital LCD to German cuckoo. For all I knew, that machine with the weird, colored liquid dripping down inside of it, perched atop a small shelf, could have been a clock, too. Every one of them, each with their own methodology and style, unerringly pointed to half past ten.
“Yeah, probably not. Who could guess what he’s doing…? Man, today has just exhausted me. I don’t think we’ve ever hosted so many people in here at once.”
Kido stared at the front door as she spoke, her voice interspersed with a touch of exasperation and more than a hint of readily noticeable excitement.
“Being the boss of this gang would tire anyone out.”
Maybe it was a bit embarrassing for her all along. Her cheeks turned redder than before.
“Oh, shut up! You don’t have to poke at me like that! I…I’m going to bed, all right?”
With that, Kido zoomed back to her feet, just as she did before in the last impulsive fit, and began walking to her room.
Then, as I watched on in confusion, she turned around. “I got some sheets out for you,” she said, pointing at a stack of blankets piled up toward the front. “You and Konoha can use those.” Then, with a slam, she disappeared behind her door.
“What was up with that…?”
She could act as tough as she wanted, I reasoned. But she was still a girl, deep down. I never had half a chance of understanding her. There was no point lingering on it.
Just as I decided to switch off my brain for the night, I felt an immense fatigue swarm over my body. I must have hit the wall myself.
“Eesh, I’m exhausted…”
I rose up, the springs of the sofa creaking in response. My body felt like a chunk of lead.
Somehow, I dragged myself over to the blankets, choosing a couple at random off the top before returning to my bed for the night.
Placing a blanket on Konoha, currently sleeping the sleep of the dead in a rumpled mess on the floor, I suddenly realized I had no idea how to turn off the lights.
“Umm…Switch…Where’s the switch?”
I glanced around the room, but nothing switchlike made itself known.
This must have been what purgatory was like. Right when I needed to sleep the most, I run into this. What should I do? I couldn’t just leave them on…
As I puttered around the room in a blind search, pondering over the injustice of it all, I felt someone’s presence behind me.
Surprised, I whirled around to find Marie, her springy white hair framing her equally white, fluffy pajamas. She stared at me like I was an intruder.
“…What’re you doing, Shintaro?”
Suddenly, I realized that I had a special ability of my own. The ability, when eyed by an innocent little girl, to sweat profusely on command. I hadn’t done anything particularly suspicious, but despite the smile I attempted to put on, my perspiration wasn’t helping my case much.
“Ohhh! Uhh, Marie! I was just, uh, trying to turn off the lights, but I don’t see where the light switch is!”
The agitated explanation was enough to soften Marie’s face back to normal. She pointed at a dartboard hanging on the wall.
“It’s over there. You push it right in the middle.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as I pressed on the bull’s-eye as directed. With a click, all the bare lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling blacked out in unison.
The moment they did, Marie’s scream made my heart leap o
ut of my throat.
“E-eeeeeeek! Don’t just turn them off like that!”
I frantically pushed the button again, only to find Marie back to her previous “why did you do that” face, this time with some tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
“…Why did you do that?”
“N-no! I was just making sure it worked, okay?! I…Ughh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
This is such a pain in the ass. All I want is some sleep. Why do I have to go through all this mental anguish?
“It’s all right…”
Apparently placated, Marie turned around and returned to her room.
What did she come out here for? I thought about asking, but if she was leaving of her own volition, I figured it best not to prod her any further.
“Um, good night!”
I gave a couple of distracted waves, watched Marie disappear into her room, and turned out the lights.
With a heavy sigh, I shuffled toward where I thought the sofa was.
Lying down on it and pulling the blanket over my body, I gave my cell phone a quick peek. Ene was still curled up in her futon.
“She is such a pain…”
I said it out loud. The futon didn’t so much as twitch.
That was enough for the night. I put the phone on the table and closed my eyes.
The hum of the air conditioner dominated the darkness.
Looking back, today had been an insufferably long day, one that was hard to believe took only twenty-four hours.
I was introduced to the Mekakushi-dan only this morning…Well, technically, I ran into them at the department store yesterday. But they were good guys. I found myself taking a shine to them almost immediately, despite myself. It might be the first time I’ve experienced anything like that, actually.
I was invited over by some people, had a meal with them, discussed what was going on with our lives, and set up informal plans for tomorrow.
That, by itself, sounds like how any group of friends interacts with each other.
Our conversation was a notch eerier than your typical chat among friends, but never in a million years did I think I’d be blessed with an opportunity like this.
…Is this really the right thing for me? Really?
The more people I encountered, the more I laughed with them, the more it felt like it was fading away that much more quickly.
But, still, even for just a little while—even if it was just for whatever remained of the summer—I had a right to see some greater meaning behind running into these guys. Right?
I asked the question into the darkness. Not to myself; to somebody who could never have been there with me, but who still remained clear in my mind.
“Hey, Shintaro?”
“…What?”
“It’s great that you made all those friends. Is it fun being with them all?”
“Hell no. This hasn’t even been a shred of fun for me.”
“Oh, you big liar! You were acting like you had a blast today, Shintaro. That might be the first time I’ve ever seen you smile so much, in fact.”
“No, seriously, I’m not. They’re just bossing me around all day. I feel like I’m gonna die from exhaustion.”
“Hey, Shintaro? Do you remember me?”
“What’re you talking about? Of course I do.”
“So can you say what my name is?”
“Uh…Where’d that come from? What’s up with you?”
“Come on, Shintaro, can you say my name?”
“H-hey, knock that off…Knock it off, okay?”
“I…I guess you can’t, huh? You can’t remember anything about me?”
“Please…just stop. Please, I’m asking you here…”
“Can you, Shintaro?”
“Aaaaaagghh!!”
“Wraagghh?!!”
I propelled myself off the sofa, my body covered in sweat. My mind was hazy, as if had been tossed into a blender and pureed for ten minutes.
Darkness surrounded me. The low whir of the air conditioner was the only sound.
It took me a little while before I realized that this was the Mekakushi-dan’s hideout, and that I was attempting to sleep on their sofa.
“You scared the crap outta me! What’s wrong with you?!”
Suddenly, light flooded into my eyes. The scene around the hideout returned to focus, just as I left it a moment ago.
Turning around, I saw Momo, her finger on the dartboard switch, looking concerned.
“Oh. Hey, Momo. I’m okay. Just having a dream.”
“What kind of dream made you do that? You look terrible.”
Momo took a sheepish step closer, peering intently into my face.
“I told you, I’m fine. But what’s up with you? Aren’t you sleeping?”
“Huh? Oh, I kinda woke up, so…I figured I’d go see how he was doing in the meantime.”
She chuckled nervously to herself, as if ashamed to disturb me.
“…Oh. Okay. Well, you didn’t wake me up or anything, so don’t worry.”
“No? Well, I know you gotta be tired after everything that happened the past two days. Sleep tight, okay?”
“Sure…Oh, right.”
I stood up to face Momo, still crouched down next to the sofa.
“Hmm…? What’s up, big bro?”
“Listen, uh, why’re you going through this whole charade?”
The question made Momo’s face erupt in a mixture of panic and fear.
“Um…Huh? I don’t really know what you mean…”
I kept my eyes on her. She turned hers to the floor.
“I know you, Momo. Once you fall asleep, I could take a baseball bat to you and you still wouldn’t wake up. That’s always been a huge issue for you, right? That, and you just had a massive fight with Hibiya. Why would you want to check up on him in the middle of the night? That, and—”
I didn’t have to go on. It was already enough to silence Momo for good. Her gaze was still on the floor, so I couldn’t read her face very well.
“Momo calls me ‘Shintaro,’ not ‘big bro’…Kano.”
The air shimmered. The next instant, Kano stood back up, staring at me with that huge, simpering grin that never left his lips.
“…Man, you are just a total gas, Shintaro, you know that? I can’t get enough of it.”
“Yeah, thanks. So you mind filling me in? Why are you transformed into Momo at this time of night?”
Even as I stood there, as resolutely as I could, that eerie grin remained painted on his face.
“Hah-hah…Guess I’m in the doghouse with you tonight, huh? Well, I suppose I can’t blame you. Not after I disguised myself as your dear, dear sister…yeah?”
The wink he aimed at my direction confirmed my suspicion that he was deliberately playing me for a fool.
Not the way Ene always did, though. This was brimming with sadism, making a calculated effort to stab me right where I didn’t want to be touched the most.
“Not exactly, no. I mean, it’s your house; you can impersonate anybody you want to. I’m just asking you why.”
“Mmmm, well, not just for no reason at all, no. But what would telling you accomplish? Like, what would you even do if you knew, Shintaro?”
Kano swiveled around, turning his back to me, then spread his arms wide.
“I mean, it’s kinda weird, isn’t it? You’re acting so freakishly tense over this, of all things. I’m just thinking, you know, you might be forgetting something pretty important, huh?”
I couldn’t gauge his face where I was standing.
But his words seemed to form a vise around my heart. It was like his eyes were sifting through every secret I kept in the nether regions of my soul.
“…What are you trying to tell me?”
“Hmm? Well, just that, pretty much. You know? I mean, Shintaro, it’s written all over your face. You’re about to forget something reeeeeeeally important for all time, you know?”
One of the lightbulbs above K
ano’s head began to flicker.
Every flash seemed to illuminate his back like a strobe light.
“What the hell could you ever understand…!”
“Oh, was I right? Eesh, you don’t have to get all hot under the collar like that. I mean, you did forget, didn’t you, Shintaro?”
His sneering attitude brought my rage to the boiling point.
“For eff’s sake, I haven’t forgotten anything!!”
I grabbed at Kano as I fired back, forcing him to face me. The lightbulb shut off entirely for a moment.
When it came back on a second later, I felt my rapidly beating heart tear itself apart.
“So how come you never try to help me?”
There, I saw Ayano, her shoulder-length black hair a sharp contrast with her crimson-red scarf. There was no way I could ever mistake it. She smiled.
“Ah…ahh…”
My legs began to quiver. I was liable to collapse at any moment.
My brain abandoned all hope of comprehending reality any longer, channeling meaningless syllables into my mouth instead.
“Come on, Shintaro. Answer me. Or have you forgotten all about me by now?”
Ayano, her artificial smile now practically touching my face, stared at me with glassy, lifeless eyes. I began to have trouble breathing.
“N-no…I…”
All the thoughts dancing around in my mind for the past few years tried to bubble up to the surface en masse. But I couldn’t give voice to them. I couldn’t bring a single one of them across.
Ayano didn’t wait for me. Just like that day. And I couldn’t tell her anything then, either.
“It’s all right now. Farewell, Shintaro. Be well.”
The next moment, every bulb in the room went dark. Another instant, and they were back on. Ayano was gone without a trace.
My legs gave way, and I fell knees-first onto the ground.
I planted a shaky pair of hands on the floor for support, but like a dam giving way to a flood of emotions, my eyes welled with tears that fell helplessly below.
As if marching right behind them, all the feelings I had locked away swarmed to the surface, paralyzing me to the spot.
…Is this my punishment? For never lending an ear to her, for never being able to reach out and give her a hand to hold, this is my punishment?
The Children Reason Page 8
