We were quiet as we finished.
“Did Remy tell you her fantastically stupid idea to try and teach the girls in our room after hours?”
Tater’s eyes flew up to me, scorching me, and I looked at the guard again. When I found one of them staring straight at me, my demeanor changed to demure and I gave the guard a soft smile before looking back down. From the corner of my eye I saw Tater’s hands clench into fists again, and he brought them under the table to his lap.
“Rem . . .” Tater’s voice was filled with warning.
“It’s fine,” I whispered, grabbing my tray and standing. “Don’t worry.”
I wished Linette hadn’t told him that. As if he didn’t have enough crap on his mind. I sent her a glare, which she returned, and I caught one last look of Tater’s stiff form, hands in his lap, knee bouncing and jaw locked. I wished so badly I could hug him and try to calm him. But all I could do was walk away.
Amber
The sun was rising over the mountains, a glorious sight, just as the rest of our underground troops rolled in from the bunker. Our entire group stood outside to meet them. The atmosphere was like nothing I’d ever experienced. Happiness wasn’t the right word. This kind of freedom, hard earned, and the sense of safety we felt out in the open like this . . . it could only be described as joy. Elation of the highest magnitude.
Unfortunately, I was the only one not fully partaking in that feeling.
Don’t get me wrong, the others were mourning, too, but after we’d cleaned Mark’s body and wrapped him, bringing him outside for a burial today, the others were silent and thoughtful. But they were also of the mind that Mark would want us to embrace what he died for. I just couldn’t get past my part in it.
We greeted the others, and I hugged Top. As he looked over the base, out at what we’d done, it was the first time I saw him really smile. It made me realize what a huge step this was. The Baelese had overpowered the entire planet with very small numbers. If we could take back Alaska, and manage to contact others and choreograph stealth missions for more bases, we had a chance of winning this war.
“Sergeant Mahalchick’s body is ready for burial, sir,” I told Top. I felt bad when his smile faltered and fell as he nodded.
“Let’s get our comm boys set up for tech infiltration before those bastards in Nevada notice something’s up, and then we’ll take care of him.”
Rylen put an arm around my shoulder as Top walked away. I soaked in his comfort, turning my face into his chest. All around us people celebrated. The men who’d been broody and lackluster since we arrived, were now beaming, laughing, wrestling on the pine-needle strewn ground. I wanted to laugh when Carmen jumped into the fray, but I couldn’t.
“It’s not your fault,” Ry whispered into my hair.
I closed my eyes and swallowed down the burn of emotion, unable to respond. Rylen pulled me aside, taking my hand so we could walk together.
“Listen to me, Pepper. From what I heard, some of the Baelese were already starting to wake and fight back in a couple of the rooms before we heard that shot. It was inevitable that we wouldn’t be able to take them all out in their sleep. The fact that only one of ours went down is a damn near miracle.”
I stopped and put my face against his chest again. All I could think about was Mark’s silly smile. The way he’d tease me about my sensual love for coffee.
“Losing friends in battle is the worst fucking feeling.” His voice was so somber that I knew this wasn’t his first loss. I wrapped my arms around his back, and he held me close. “You can’t help but wonder afterward what you could’ve done differently. How you might’ve been able to keep someone alive. All we can do is learn from it and keep living the best we can.”
I sniffled hard one last time and looked up into his watery blue-gray eyes. There was so much tenderness and compassion there that I had to swallow again.
“I want to help with his grave,” I said.
He gave me a single nod and took my hand. We walked together to the side yard near the fence where some beautiful old pines shot skyward. Tex, New York Josh, Devon, and Matt were already there, digging. No extra shovels were around. Rylen walked up to Josh and said, “Switch out for a minute?”
Josh wiped his brow and nodded, handing the shovel over. But instead of digging, Rylen handed the shovel to me and kissed my forehead. The guys all exchanged looks that I ignored as I stepped up and began digging. It wasn’t as easy as it looked. The ground was compacted hard.
I dug and dug until my arms, legs, and back were sore and my hands were stinging with blisters. As the guys continued to take turns, nobody bothered me or tried to switch. They probably assumed I would refuse, and they were right. By the time we were done, I was covered in dirt and sweating like a sow. I lifted the shovel from where I stood inside the six-foot grave, my arms like spaghetti, and Rylen grabbed it. Then he stuck out his hand and pulled me up as Tex helped out Matt.
Looking around, we were all a mess. Matt’s dirty face was streaked with tears that he’d shed and wiped while we were down there. And though our group had been through so much together, this moment solidified us as a family unit. We stood close and remained quiet as Top and the chaplain walked out, followed by a mass of soldiers, whispering like something had happened.
“What’s going on?” Rylen asked Top.
The First Sergeant sighed. “We did a scout of the base and found a mass burial mound. We think it’s the officers.”
Everyone silenced as that sank in. My stomach turned, and I had to exhale slowly.
“Let’s honor Mahalchick,” Top said, nodding to the fresh grave.
In all my time as an Army brat, I’d blessedly never had to attend a military funeral. I’d seen them on television, but nothing on a screen could convey the absolute reverence and seriousness surrounding us like a shroud. I thought I was out of tears, but there were always more, and I wasn’t the only one to cry. Wet eyes surrounded me on the faces of tough men and women.
When the last word was spoken, Tex hopped down into the grave, and the others helped slide Mark’s body down to him. I reached for a shovel, and Top grabbed my arm, turning it over to reveal my bloodied, swollen palms.
“Tate . . .” he started, but I shook my head and grabbed the shovel.
“I’ve got it.”
He sighed and stepped up to grab a shovel himself. Devon and Rylen got the other two. I gritted my teeth against the stinging pain, and choked back more damned tears as I tossed the first shovelful of dirt onto Mark’s long, still body, wrapped tightly.
I might’ve overdone it, because I almost passed out at the end, tilting to the side until Tex righted me from behind.
“Whoa, nelly.”
“I’m okay,” I whispered, letting the shovel fall. There was a layer of dark blood on the handle from my palms.
Rylen took my shoulder. “How about a hot shower? Top says there’s no need to conserve water.” He leaned in so only I could hear. “He also said there are plenty of rooms, and we’re welcome to have one to ourselves . . . if you want.”
I pulled back to look up at him, and to my surprise he looked nervous. Was this the equivalent of him asking me to move in with him? Despite my pain and exhaustion, I managed a small smile.
“I want that.”
God, his returning grin was so adorable. My heart ached with love. We walked together to one of the barracks buildings. While we’d been digging and burying, other soldiers had been busy taking inventory of supplies, goods, and rooms. There was so much space. Being able to walk around outside and breathe deeply without smelling bodily fluids and cleaning supplies was surreal. Wonderful. Something I never wanted to take for granted, because there was no telling if or when we’d have to go underground again. Especially when Rylen told me about the rogue humans that the DRI had been using.
“From what we can tell from the surveillance, they checked in with the Baelese on base every Saturday afternoon and Wednesday morning.”
; “What’s today?” How sad that I couldn’t keep track anymore.
“It’s Monday. They provided them with food and other necessities if they kept an eye out for straggler humans and turned them in.”
I shook my head. “What are we going to do about them?”
“That’s the next mission. When they come Wednesday, we have to pretend to be Baelese when we let them in. Then they have the choice to work with us or die. Hopefully some of them still have their humanity and will make the right choice.”
I tensed as we walked. The thought of killing humans when there were so few of us left . . . what a waste.
We stopped at a linens room for sheets, towels, and soap. Then I followed Rylen to a room on the second floor at the end of the hall. It was plain, but beautiful in my eyes. Two twin beds with striped mattresses, two basic dressers, and two metal desks with chairs. All we had was us, and the clothes on our backs, so to have this space to call our own felt like heaven. I peeked into the bathroom made up of small, white tiles that had turned dingy off-white over the years. One sink. One toilet. One standing shower. All in a compacted space.
Yep, heaven.
Rylen turned the water on, and we both stripped down. He didn’t make a move. We stepped into the shower together. I cleaned him with the bar of soap, and he cleaned me, kissing both of my shoulders in turn. He watched as I held my torn palms under the water, my teeth clenching in a wince. When we got out, he helped to dry me. I could barely keep my eyes open. We went into the room, wrapped in towels. I reached for my medic bag, but Rylen grabbed it and pointed to the nearest chair.
“Let me.”
I sat and let Rylen tend my wounds. Once they were wrapped, we made the beds and pushed them together. I flopped onto mine, my eyes drooping. Ry threw the blanket over me, then dropped his towel and climbed in, pulling me into a spooning position. The room was chilly, but he was so warm against me. I wondered if he would make a move, because I would totally wake up for that, but he never did. He just kissed me under my ear and said, “I love you. Sleep.”
So, I did.
Remy
What Tater asked me to do was impossible. I’d searched the room as best as I could, but there was no sign of a radio or anything technological. Also, there was a security camera in one of the corners. The learning room was sort of like a small auditorium, but nicer. It had fancy carpeting and grand light fixtures between the windows on the walls. Just a big, open space, like a room at a hotel that could be rented for weddings or proms. The desks and shelves of learning materials were the only things in there.
I’d tried peeking into other rooms as I was brought in this morning, but the guards were speed-walkers, and most of the doors were shut. The Baelese were not stupid. Just the opposite. If I got anything from them it would be by dumb luck. As for what Linette expected of me, to get the Senator alone and seduce him? Even more ridiculously impossible. Plus . . . I had no idea if I could pull that off. I’d be a wreck, which was not sexy.
After lunch, before it was time to begin the afternoon lesson, little Milna, the Senator’s daughter, came up to my desk with her notebook. She opened it up like she had a question, but then she took a careful look around her.
“How can I help you, Milna?”
She wouldn’t look at me. She stared at the desk, and gingerly brought her fingers to a lock of her hair.
In a small whisper, she said, “Do you remember when you touched my hair? That was . . . nice.”
My spine went rigid, and I shot glances toward the guards. Milna still would not look at me. Was this a trap? Or was she being rebellious?
“Milna,” I said gently. “You know that’s not allowed—”
“I know, Miss.” She began to gather her notebook, looking terrified. “I am sorry.”
I put my hand on the notebook to stop her, careful not to touch her, and she finally looked at me, showing more emotion than normal, like a cornered cat. My God, she was so small. Only four—too young to have such concerns. I smiled and whispered back.
“I am not upset with you. In my culture, we’re allowed to touch, and it feels very nice. I love to have my hair played with. My mom did it all the time.”
“Your mom?”
“Yes. The woman who gave birth to me.”
She cocked her head. “The woman who birthed me is Mimasol, a soldier.”
“Ah. Do you ever spend time with her?”
“No.” She didn’t sound sad, just matter of fact.
I cleared my throat. “I’m trying my best to adhere to the Baelese rules, so I can’t touch you again. I don’t want to get you in trouble, okay?”
“Okay. And I do not want you to die,” she said straight-faced, sending a sharp tingle down my spine. “However . . . I wanted you to know. That is all.”
She liked being touched. Noted. I blinked at her and nodded.
I’d been so focused on Milna, barely aware of the other students filtering over and finishing their work, that I didn’t notice the Senator and Vahni approaching until they were mere feet away. My chair scraped back as I stood, smoothing down my dress.
“Hello,” I said, clasping my hands in front of me.
The Senator gave me a warm smile and Vahni nodded robotically.
“Beginning tomorrow,” she stated, “an exercise regime will be implemented for the children outdoors. We’ve been awaiting the completion of the area, and it will be finished this evening. You and a guard will escort them out at nine o’clock for one hour, and again at three o’clock for one hour. You will be met by a Baelese instructor. Adjust your teaching schedule accordingly.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said.
Her response was to turn and click her heels away, but the Senator remained. It took about three steps for Vahni to realize he wasn’t following.
“Bahntan?”
“I’ll be along shortly,” he told her, then looked at me. “How are you, Ms. Haines?”
“Fine, thank you.” Other than Vahni staring venomous rays at me. I tried to focus on him and not her, but it was hard. How was he so unbothered by her evil intensity?
“I will give you a tour of the new outdoor area so you are familiar,” he began, only to be verbally slapped by Vahni.
“That is not necessary, Bahntan.”
He looked at her now. “Is it not? I will say what is necessary.”
“It is not safe.” She gave me a snarly look, as if I was planning to assassinate him.
“I can overpower this female both physically and mentally, so what is it that you are doubting, Vahni?” he asked. “My willpower? My allegiance?”
“Perhaps both,” she muttered, chin high.
He fully turned to her so quickly, I got temporary whiplash. And then I was thoroughly confused when he began to talk to her and it sounded like a mix of garbled words and hissing. I realized with horror that he was speaking to her in Baelese.
I’d never heard anything so creepy.
It only got worse as the two of them squared off, his voice sharp, and her eyes bulging as she went off on him.
The last thing he said made her mouth drop open on a silent gasp.
“You have pushed my hand,” the Senator told her, switching back to English with polite strength.
“You would do that?” she asked. “Over a human?”
His tone strengthened further. “Not over a human. Over your continued insubordinance of my role.” They faced off at arm’s length, and I’d never wanted so badly to slink away from a conversation. “I have already spoken to the board, and they agreed you were to be given one last chance.”
“It is my place to advise you—”
“To advise, not to overrule me at every turn. Your second chance has come and gone.”
“Bahntan, please.”
“My word is final. It is beneath you to beg. Gather your belongings.”
She stared, and I swear there was something like a promise of revenge in her eyes before she turned from him as dramatically and jerkily
as a tween having a tantrum, stomping away. He signaled for a guard to follow her. My heart was in my throat as the Senator pivoted back to me, frowning. He didn’t speak until she was gone.
“I apologize that you had to witness that.”
I probably shouldn’t have asked anything, but . . .”You’re not going to, um . . .”
“She will not be killed,” he told me.
Well, that was unfortunate. I let out a breath and cocked my head like I was trying to understand their culture. “So, just fired?”
“Restationed. She needs to be in a leadership position, and the East is in need of her skills.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling relieved that the biggest witch of the west would now be gone, though I felt sorry for the east.
“It’s not your fault,” he said, as if he thought I felt bad. Ha!
I stared down at my twined fingers, biting my lip a few seconds before looking up.
“Do you find me to be a cruel leader?” he asked.
My mouth opened in surprise. “No. I thought you handled that well. You can’t have someone constantly undermining you.” As far as leaders go, he seemed good to his people. As far as enemies go, though, he’d definitely been cruel to humans. I couldn’t let myself forget that.
He nodded, thoughtful. “Let us take that walk now.”
My stomach jumped nervously as he started toward the door with me at a safe distance behind. I glanced back to see all the children diligently working. I followed the Senator through the building. He stopped at one room, and opened the door, letting a group of soldiers know where he would be. A few of them glanced at me with curiosity. I kept my fingers clasped as they spoke, and I tried to peek into the room.
On a desk was one of those huge desk calendars open to July. The third week had a dark line drawn through it.
“Thank you,” the Senator told them before continuing his walk down the hall. I hadn’t been paying full attention, but I knew he’d been telling them about Vahni’s departure.
“Walk beside me,” he said, so I did. He led us to a side door, and out into the gorgeous sunshine. A guard followed us, standing at the doorway to oversee us. My eyes widened as I looked out at the sight of the—what was it, exactly? An athletic area, but definitely not a playground. A huge plot had been fenced in, and the craziest obstacle course I’d ever seen had been put up. It looked complicated, and it seemed to go on forever.
Undone (Unknown Trilogy Book 3) Page 9
