Cassia paused for a moment to take a breath, the supreme excitement of every piece falling into place sending a surge of adrenaline rushing through her. For so long, she had struggled to assemble a picture that made sense of what happened with Jason, and to have it all come together like this was more than she ever expected; she might end up owing Gisele for the intrusion that had apparently kickstarted her brain.
“You changed all that. Not only did you show him how to shed his mortality, you made him want to. That is the power of revenant love, and that is the power you wield over him.”
Gisele’s face shifted almost instantly, as if she were a death row inmate who had just been granted a stay of execution. Uncertainty eagerly claimed more and more of her expression. “But he resents me for it...”
“I’m sure there are days when he does. Can you honestly say that you like being revenant every single day? That there aren’t days when it drags you down? The point is, those days pass, and when they do, he realizes that it’s you, your love and the lessons you’ve helped him learn that keep him from the dawn.” Cassia paused again, debating on exactly how to express her next thought. Deep in her gut, she knew it was necessary, but she was wondering if brutal was truly the best way to package it.
In the end, she decided to let Gisele make that call.
“Gisele, there’s more, but I’m not quite sure how to say it. Brutal or candy-coated?”
Gisele pondered the question for a moment, intrigued. “Brutal,” she answered. After all the good news Cassia had delivered, she was fairly certain she could handle anything that might come next. Cassia and Jeffrey would have soiled their undergarments if they had known how close she would come to being wrong in that assumption.
“You’ve got to stop letting his bad days dig up your insecurities, because that’s when he needs you to pick him up, just like he’s there to pick you up on your bad days. If that give and take doesn’t exist, your love doesn’t stand a chance. In a way, it’s just like all of you: it doesn’t die on its own, but it can be killed.”
A sharp breath punched its way from Gisele’s lungs, and she took an involuntary step toward Cassia, her hands clenching tightly. Her vision filtered to red as thoughts collided inside her head, and she had to swallow the acid in her mouth at being lectured by a mortal, and so effectively, too. She stared long and hard at Cassia, her gaze vacillating between venomous and retrospective, and after several tense moments, the venom drained. Cassia and Jeffrey let out the collective pent-up breath they had both been holding.
Gisele smiled gently, as close as she would come to an apology for her reaction. “Thank you, Cassia. I would apologize for the intrusion, but I am not sorry.”
“But you will be,” Phobos growled from behind them, her voice all edge and steel. She looked ready to tear Gisele limb from limb, and the oppressive weight of her BloodHunger fell over the room like the kind of rainfall that stings.
“Mother!” Jeffrey gasped, the relief in his voice making it squeak.
“Phobos!” Cassia and Gisele exclaimed simultaneously, Gisele whirling to face the two new arrivals so swiftly that her long coat billowed around her.
“You have now gone too far!” Phobos warned, immersing herself completely in the raging inferno of her BloodHunger. It wanted to hurt, to bash, to rend, and it strained on the edge of its lengthening leash like a mad dog, snarling and spitting. Kane’s expression was rigidly neutral, but someone who knew him well would have recognized the fear behind his eyes.
Cassia knew him well enough, and she also remembered how many times she had actually seen him afraid: she could count them on one hand with fingers left to spare. His fear fed hers, and hers was already fat enough.
Gisele also tasted fear, deep in the back of her throat. With good reason. During her vault experiment with Jason, she had seen more of the BloodHunger’s power than she ever cared to, and in the full throes of that same rage, Phobos could be a serious danger to anyone, Ancient included. But mostly, Gisele was afraid that any participation in this confrontation would end in revenant death, and though it would most likely be Phobos and her companion who perished, surviving the encounter might easily prove to be worse for Gisele than dying in it.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Cassia beat her to it. “It’s okay, Mom. Gisele was just leaving!”
“She certainly was,” Phobos hissed through clenched teeth.
A part of Gisele wanted to laugh, and without the wisdom she had gained tonight, she would have, setting the match to this particular stick of dynamite. Instead, she reined in her humor and tried to put herself into Phobos’ shoes, something she had never bothered to do before. I would want to kill me, too, she thought. “I have not harmed your child or his wife, Phobos. There is no need for us to fight over this.”
“That you’re here is harm enough, Gisele. You should never have come.”
“Perhaps, but what is done is done, and it is only by coming here tonight that I have found restraint enough to avoid the confrontation you so obviously desire.” Of course, it was her visit that actually sparked the confrontation, so it was much like the bureaucracy expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy, but she was not about to let a tiny detail like that spoil the point she was making.
“What makes you think it can be avoided?” Phobos snapped, as close to feral as anyone in the room had ever seen her. Her Hunger whipped around the room, colliding with the walls and ceiling and gathering steam. Very soon, the room would no longer be able to contain it.
“A fight can be avoided if one party is willing. I am willing, and as a show of good faith, I give you my word that I will never speak directly to either of them again without first being invited to do so.”
Phobos’ eyebrows arched sharply, disbelief etching clear lines onto her face as if she had just dropped into the Twilight Zone. Kane had to forcibly hold in the relieved breath that desperately wanted to leave his lungs. The roar of the Hunger died down, but everyone wondered if it was just the calm before the storm. “Ever?”
“Yes.” There was no doubting her sincerity.
“Why would you make such a promise?”
“Because I have what I came for, and because I truly do not want to kill you in front of your son. If we fight now, I will have to kill you and your lover to stop both of you from killing me.”
“That’s only a matter of location; we can go elsewhere.” The tenuous situation was growing lighter by the moment, but Phobos was still not quite ready to let it go. Gisele had thrown her weight around one too many times, and a lesson was in order.
“Phobos, I do not want to kill you at all. For the first time, I am thinking of someone other than myself. How ironic it would be if you were the one to put an end to that,” Gisele offered demurely.
Phobos fell silent, contemplating Gisele’s words and their incredible precedent. Kane approached her slowly, placing a hand on her shoulder. His grip was firm, but it was not so much restraining as it was reassuring. His thoughts whispered softly. No one would think less of her for accepting this truce. He thought the world of the sacrifice she was willing to make for her family, and he would gladly make it with her, if it was necessary.
But it was not necessary.
Even if Phobos had been willing to throw her life away unnecessarily, she was not willing to throw in his without a damn good reason. Placing her hand over his, she reined in the howling BloodHunger and threw it back into its cage. The air pressure in the room returned to normal. It was an impressive display of control, even for her.
“Thank you,” Gisele said simply, walking toward the door. Kane’s thoughts echoed Gisele’s, but his gratitude meant more.
“Gisele,” Cassia called out, halting Gisele’s progress. She turned slowly, all grace, and all other eyes turned to Cassia, awestruck. “You only asked me two questions; you said there were three.”
Gisele’s perfect lips parted in a blazingly genuine smile. “My dear, after everything that has happene
d this night, if I cannot figure out that answer on my own, I do not deserve to know it.” Cassia nodded with a smile of her own, and Gisele turned away once more, exiting the room. Phobos followed slowly, still trying to wrap her mind around the encounter and the change in Gisele.
Gisele opened the outer apartment door and stopped, turning to regard Phobos with a neutral expression. “You have a message for me,” she stated.
“Jason requests that you stop involving others in this thing between you,” Phobos said, her tone carefully modulated.
“Requests or commands?” Gisele replied, an eyebrow rising.
“He wouldn’t have me deliver a command to you.”
“No? Or is it that you would rather not deliver such a message?”
“It’s not my place to lay down his law, but if that’s what he wanted, I would obey.” Though her voice remained even, a glint flashed in Phobos’ eyes, daring Gisele to make her prove that statement.
Gisele did not bite. “I am certain you would, just as I am certain that he would never ask that of you. He is perfectly capable of delivering commands on his own, and quite willing also.” She paused thoughtfully. “Kindly deliver my reply to him.”
“If I am able,” Phobos responded, inclining her head in agreement.
“I honor his request and ask him to remember that when passing judgment on my actions tonight,” Gisele whispered before disappearing out the door. Phobos stood in stunned silence, watching it close in slow motion.
◆◆◆
Even the frigid night air could not help clear Gisele’s head. During the short flight back to the Ekhaya, she went over the conversation with Cassia again, trying her best to absorb the tiniest nuances of each sentence and unspoken word. Before leaving the apartment, she had felt enlightened and strangely optimistic about the future, but now, as she descended on the Ekhaya, she felt more confused and uncertain than ever before. Why was it that she could not sustain a feeling of general well-being? Anyone else would have been happy with how it turned out, especially avoiding the riot situation with Phobos, but Gisele could never be happy about something in retrospect.
Nothing ever seemed as simple or as clear in retrospect as it did during the doing...
She entered the Ekhaya swiftly, her mind tightly shuttered. None of the others could catch wind of the thoughts she was a breath away from embracing, especially not any of the Ancients. Although their newly redefined relationship with Jason was good for the Ekhaya overall, it was particularly bad for Gisele at the moment. If she decided to tread the dark path that was tempting her with mindbending power, she would have to do so very carefully in order to keep the other Ancients neutral.
Truth be told, they would probably stay on the sidelines no matter what she did, but she could not risk even the off chance of any of them feeling the need to get involved. Dealing with Jason would be dangerous enough, but at least she had an ace up her sleeve there: no matter what she did, there was a good chance that he would not kill her for it. If the Ancients butted in, their actions would not be clouded by their feelings for her, not even Octavian. Celeste’s fate had made that painfully obvious.
Jason might not kill her for making real the thoughts in her head, put there by a tiny demon whispering louder with each repetition, but their relationship would certainly die in her place. From where she was standing, they might have already arrived at that point.
She shook her head as she stopped at the entrance to the Ancients’ Chamber. She told herself that she was still debating her course of action, but if she were completely honest with herself (an unfortunately rare occurrence), she had really made up her mind the night Jason ignored her summons in order to remain with Alicia.
Standing there in front of the locked door, she could feel Octavian’s almost overpowering presence within. Funny how she rarely noticed how strong he was anymore, probably because it was exceedingly difficult to recognize the second most powerful person in a given room. Forever in the shadow of a fledgling he had helped to create, no wonder it had been so difficult for him. As genuine sympathy blossomed, it took her by surprise because she rarely sympathized with anyone.
You have to care about someone to sympathize with him.
At that very moment, another idea occurred to her. A very bad or very good idea, depending on personal point of view. A predatory smile flickered across her face as she entered the chamber.
So much for the promise she had made not fifteen minutes earlier. It was on.
◆◆◆
I don’t know, Sweet. Something’s going on in that head of hers, an awful struggle, Phobos offered, her mental voice crossing the miles that separated us. As our minds tethered, the miles fell away, making us both privy to much more than the words we sent back and forth.
Struggle? I replied, looking to Alicia. Her face was crinkled up in concentration as she tried to catch Phobos’ end of the mental conversation. Being as attuned to me as she was and considering our close physical proximity, she heard my end as if I were speaking directly into her ear, but I knew she wasn’t sensitive enough to pick up Phobos’ projected voice, and that fact was currently frustrating her to no end.
Her shield was strong today. She prepared well for her visit. I can’t give you specifics, but I don’t need to read her mind to know that it can’t be good for you. Phobos cast a quick glance toward Jeffrey and Cassia, afraid to admit even to herself how much Gisele’s visit had frightened her. That she could have lost what she considered her entire family in one instant filled her with an icy apprehension that still remained coiled around her insides, but what affected her the most was the single motivating factor powerful enough to make Cassia put aside the lingering bitterness and reach out for me: abject fear for her life.
It had a bit of an effect on me, too.
Though Gisele’s presence still lingered in the apartment like a bad odor, the comfort they sought in one another was slowly chasing it away. Some mortals never ceased to amaze her. They were absolutely powerless to stop anything, and so utterly fragile that it could take her breath away if she dwelled on it, but they never stopped clinging to the hope that everything would turn out okay.
Gisele won’t harm them, Phobos, I said softly, and the words were so incongruous to the conversation that she wondered if she had missed a few sentences because of her worrying.
You can’t be sure of that, Phobos snapped back.
Actually, I can. Her capitulation-
She cut me off before I could finish the rebuttal. Her capitulation was a ploy to get you to relax your guard, Jason, and if it has been even the slightest bit successful, it was worth her effort, Phobos sighed, wondering how I could be so dense sometimes. I smiled as I wondered the same thing about her.
It will be a very long time before I relax my guard around Gisele again, Phobos. Her capitulation was completely calculated, but it wasn’t a ploy. By bowing out with a whisper, she’s trying to keep my attention focused on her actions, on what she could’ve done tonight. It’s also a warning that Jeffrey and Cassia are not my only liabilities in the war she just declared. I could almost hear Phobos’ mind whirring as she tried to process my words and reconcile them with the events.
There’s no way she can think she’ll win an outright war with you, Phobos replied, unable to wrap her mind around my reasoning. Playing games is her only hope.
Ohh, the games are far from over, I stated with a sigh. The very thought of it made me weary. They’re just not going to involve Jeffrey or Cassia. Her only shot at making it out of this alive is to keep the rest of the Ancients and the majority of the Ekhaya neutral.
The link transmitted Phobos’ confusion like an electrical signal; she wondered how Gisele could even expect to survive a war with me. I understood her confusion, just as I knew she would figure out the answer eventually. So I waited, and as I expected, it did not take long.
She thinks you won’t kill her.
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. It’s another one of her
fucking tests, and this time, if I fail, she figures at least she won’t have to be around to deal with it. A small voice inside me picked that moment to whisper that it would be worth killing Gisele just to remove most of the ridiculousness from my life, and fuck me if the voice wasn’t the most persuasive thing I’d encountered in a long time.
Phobos thought for a moment, taking it all in. That’s a big gamble, she said after a time, and I thought it was for lack of anything better to say. As the most private of thoughts shuttled from her mind to mine, I realized it was because she was afraid to even speak what she was really thinking: if I killed Gisele, then there might be hope for her and me to salvage our freshly buried relationship. As much of a bastard as I can be, I couldn’t let her live in that fantasy for a moment longer.
A gamble, yes, but not really a big one. If it was a reflex reaction, maybe... MAYBE, but if I had any time to think about it, any time at all, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do it.
I could almost hear reality come crashing down on her head. It was for the best. With Kane, she had the possibility of getting what she truly wanted, a companion who would never surpass her, an eternal student she could focus her energies on. Something she’d wanted from me in the beginning, something I’d been eager and willing to give. Something that had made us happy until it had been snatched away. Unfortunately for her, I was the only one who got something better out of the deal that neither of us had any control over.
I pray you never have to make that choice, Sweet, she offered softly after a long period of silence.
Thank you for that, Phobos. It’s more than I deserve.
You’re too hard on yourself, Sweet. It takes two to tango, no matter who leads.
◆◆◆
“Gisele!” Octavian exclaimed as she stepped into the chamber proper, and he automatically thrust the very young, stunningly beautiful fledgling Marielle away from his neck as if caught cheating. Marielle stared off into space, her eyes glazed over and unfocused as Octavian’s powerful Blood chugged through her.
Corrupting Alicia Page 36
