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Samhain Publishing, Ltd.
PO Box 2206
Stow OH 44224
Stud Finders Incorporated
Copyright © 2006 by Alexis Fleming
Cover by Scott Carpenter
ISBN: 1-59998-002-9
www.samhainpublishing.com
All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
First Samhain Publishing, Ltd. electronic publication: January 2006
STUD FINDERS INCORPORATED
By Alexis Fleming
Dedication
To Kelly, my fantastic daughter and exacting critique partner. Thank you for your great support, your ability to spot a plot hole at a hundred paces and the many hours spent brainstorming the quirky ideas that come out of your mother’s brain. I love you, babe. This one’s for you.
MADISON PAXTON: MAKEOVER PLAN
January 27th—Final divorce papers arrive. Time for makeover.
POINT 1 Lose 50lbs—join gym, tone up (allow 5 months)
POINT 2 Throw out fat clothes—shop for new
(take Mom with me)
POINT 3 Visit beauty salon—cut off long hair and get blonde streaks, learn to use cosmetics to advantage
POINT 4 Start assertiveness and motivational classes
POINT 5 Go to singles bar and learn to flirt—get picked up by drop-dead gorgeous guy and prove to SOB ex-husband that I am attractive.
Total failure at flirting
Learn to have orgasm—self-gratification?—Tacky, Madison, tacky.
POINT 6 Have sex with said gorgeous guy (protected of course) and experience orgasm for first time—prove I’m not the frigid prude Clifton made me believe I am.
POINT 7 Choose potential father material and establish relationship. Be pregnant by the time I turn 30 (October 27th)
(Man needed for sperm only.)
CHAPTER 1
“I think it’s time you got yourself screwed.”
“Mom.” Madison jerked upright, cracking her head on the pantry door as she backed out. She turned and glared. “I can’t believe you said that.”
Rosa shrugged. “Well, it’s true. You need a good, old-fashioned fu—”
“Motheeer.” Madison gaped at her, worried about what was going to come out of her mouth next. She should have been used to her outrageous comments after all this time, but somehow her mother still managed to shock her on occasion.
“Horizontal wrestling match. That’s all I was going to say.” Rosa gave an innocent lift of her eyebrows. Placing her handbag on the bench, she shoved aside the local paper, exposing the sheet of notepaper Madison had hidden underneath. Picking it up, she held it at arm’s length and squinted at it for a few minutes before waving it in the air. “This list says it’s time.”
Madison dived across the kitchen and tried to retrieve the list, but her mother backed out of the way. She reached up for her glasses where they perched atop her head and parked them on the end of her nose. When she started to read out loud, Madison cringed.
“Have sex with gorgeous guy and experience orgasm for the first…” She lowered the notepaper and stared at her daughter, mouth open for a moment before she snapped it shut. “Are you telling me in all the years you were married, you never once had an orgasm? You never felt the earth shake? No skyrockets? No lighting bolts? No whoopty-do?”
“You weren’t supposed to read that, it’s private. Besides, I invited you over for breakfast, not to give me a lecture about my sex life, or lack thereof.”
“It’s not like it’s your diary. Even I have enough conscience not to read another person’s journal. You shouldn’t have left it on the bench if you didn’t want me to see it.”
She skirted around Madison, pulled out one of the tall stools at the breakfast bar and hauled herself up. Despite her mortification, Madison couldn’t help grinning at the way her mother’s short legs didn’t even reach the bottom rung of the stool. The grin disappeared when Rosa leaned on the counter and started to read the list again.
That’s how Madison thought of it.
THE LIST.
All in capital letters and bold type. Formulating the things-to-do plan had helped her get through the first twelve months after her husband had left her.
Clifton Rossi, the walking cliché, leaving his wife for a younger woman. The rat. Or Clifton the Crud, as her mother called him. Madison shook her head. She was as bad as Clifton, playing the hard-done-by wife, sitting here hating her ex because he’d walked out with a bit of fluff not even out of her teens.
Enough, already. No more self-pity. It was nothing but wasted energy. Now she was remaking herself in an effort to get rid of the woman she’d been for the last ten years, the woman Clifton had turned her into. Problem was, the makeover wasn’t going entirely to plan.
“Okay, let’s see where you’re up to.” Rosa tapped her finger on the list. “So you’ve lost the weight.” She flicked a quick glance over her shoulder at her daughter. “You did good with that one. And you’ve kept it off. You’ve got a great figure. I could just about borrow your clothes now. We’re almost the same size.”
Madison grinned as she looked at her mother’s diminutive figure, feet swinging like a child’s as she perched on the high stool. Okay, so they might both have the same waist measurement now, but no way could they swap clothes, except for the odd top now and then. The idea was ludicrous. At five ten, Madison towered over her mother.
Rosa had bought her clothes in the teenage section of department stores for years. No way could Madison even consider following her example. She bit her lip to stop from laughing at the image that surfaced in her mind. Given her height, if she ever had the guts to try on one of those short, flirty skirts her friends favored, she’d be lucky if it covered her ass. Nothing like advertising.
Without thought, Madison ran her hand over her flat stomach. She couldn’t help the spurt of satisfaction that flared to life. Clifton had called her dumpy, one of the reasons he’d given for playing around during their marriage. A stupid term for someone of her stature. Now if he’d called her a giant moose it might have been more fitting. Each time she’d found out he’d been with another woman, instead of confronting him, she’d eaten her way out of her unhappiness. And of course, her weight problem simply got worse, along with her insecurities. She’d been so cowed by Clifton and his mother, she really did believe it was all her fault.
“One thing I am glad of,” Rosa said, “is you finally let me take you shopping. Should have done it years ago.”
“True, but Clifton liked me to dress a certain way. ‘Good for his image’, he said.” She cupped her chin in her hand as she propped herself up against the breakfast bar.
“What a crock of shit. Clifton dressed you like a matron, made you over into his mother’s image. The grand society dame. He screwed with your mind so much you don’t even have the confidence to go shopping for your own clothes now.”
“Once again, Mother dear, you’re right, but I’m getting there. One step at a time, okay?” She grinned. “Remind you to show you the little black number I bought the other day.”
Rosa shook her head. “I can’t understand why you stayed so long. You should
have told me how bad it was.”
“I couldn’t.” Madison winced at the flash of pain she saw in her mother’s eyes. She grasped her hand in a gesture of reparation. “I knew you didn’t like Clifton. I couldn’t tell you I’d made a mistake.”
She turned away and switched on the coffee maker. “The simple fact of the matter is I was too young to get married. And I didn’t have the guts to tackle Clifton when I found out he was playing around, although it might have been easier if his darn mother hadn’t interfered.”
“Clifton should have told that broad to butt out.”
Madison snorted. “Clifton never stood up to anyone in his life. If Mommy said jump, he’d ask how high. She convinced him I was the wrong type of wife, that I wasn’t his social equal. She threw every society miss she could find at his head and he was too weak-kneed to refuse. I wasn’t ready to admit I’d made a mistake in my choice of marriage partner, so I turned myself inside out to be the type of wife he seemed to want.”
“Yeah, a doormat, just like I was with your father.”
“At least Clifton never raised his hand to me. As long as I can remember, Dad beat the hell out of you. So why didn’t you leave? If Clifton had hit me, I would have been gone.” Madison pulled down two mugs and poured the coffee, pushing the milk and sugar across to her mother.
“Your father may have hit me when he was drunk, but at least he didn’t dictate what I could wear and to whom I could talk,” Rosa snapped.
“Sorry, Mom, I shouldn’t have said that.” Madison patted Rosa’s hand, making the myriad rings on her mother’s fingers jingle.
“Clifton may not have beaten you physically, but he sure did a number on you mentally and emotionally.” Rosa paused to take a sip of her coffee. “So is this all about revenge?” An expectant grin spread across her face.
“No… Well…maybe, but Clifton will never know. This is about me, my sense of self-worth. What I want in my life.”
Rosa glanced at the slip of paper. “Okay, so we got rid of the fat clothes. Did the hair thing…” She laid the sheet of paper back on the bench and stared at her daughter. “Having your hair layered and cut up to your shoulders suits you. Shows off those high cheekbones you inherited from your mother.” She patted at her big hairdo before running her finger over her cheek.
Madison smiled. Her mother might be fifty-five, but she didn’t look it. And she sure didn’t act it. Half the time, she reminded Madison of a teenager.
Rosa had reinvented herself after her husband had divorced her when Madison was only ten years old. She’d worked two jobs to make ends meet, going to business school at the same time, and Madison had never wanted for anything. Now the manager of the Blue Harbor Retirement Village on the Sunshine Coast in sunny Queensland, Rosa was content with her life.
More than content… With her wand-slim figure and her petite stature, she indulged herself in wearing the latest fashions, even if they were supposedly for the younger set. Hair dyed a yellow blonde, teased out to fluff around her face, too much make-up for daywear—this was Rosa’s image of how a glamorous woman should present herself. Even if it did look slightly tacky and overdone at times. And if Madison ever heard anyone say that, she’d deck them one.
What did it matter how Rosa dressed or wore her hair? She was a happy woman. Heck, her mother even had a better sex life than she did. She’d been keeping time—her mother’s words, not hers—with Bart Hunter, the owner of the Blue Harbor Retirement Village, for a while now. Yes, her mother was happy. Madison wanted some of the same. Hence the Madison Paxton Makeover Plan.
“Pay attention, Madison. We need to work on this list. Looks like you didn’t do so good in the flirting field, baby girl. Did you manage to get picked up at that bar?”
Madison shook her head, a pained expression on her face.
“Well, you’re going to have to get a move on. Your birthday isn’t that far off. Did you go to the bar on your own or with a group of friends from the University?”
“Just me, all on my lonesome, propped up at the bar like an idiot.” Madison sighed, pushing away the image of her aborted attempt at deliberately trying to look like a bar-fly.
Rosa snorted. “There’s part of your problem. Women on their own always look pathetic. Get a group together and go nightclubbing or something. What about your friend, Gina? She’s such a livewire, she’ll pull the guys for you. You can scoop up what she doesn’t want.”
“God, you make me sound so desperate.” Madison groaned and covered her face with her hands, not certain whether she wanted to laugh at Rosa’s comments or throttle her. There weren’t many mothers like Rosa. Thank God.
Rosa tapped at the piece of paper. “Forget all this. You can’t learn to flirt. You have to jump right in feet first. I still maintain it’s time you got laid.”
“You’re right, but how the heck do I manage that when I can’t even pick up a guy at a singles’ bar?”
Madison lifted the coffee pot and refreshed both their cups. She grimaced when she saw her mother was still fixated on her list. Darn thing. Trust her to leave it where Rosa could see it.
“For Heaven’s sake, Mom, enough with my pathetic list.”
Rosa just stared at her daughter, shaking her head. “I can’t believe Creepy Clifton couldn’t make you come, not once in ten years. Why, my Bart is so good, all he—”
“Mom.” A daughter shouldn’t know all the details of her mother’s sex life. That was way too scary. “Besides, according to Clifton, it was my fault. I think maybe he’s right. I’m frigid.”
“Again, bullshit. There’s no such thing as a frigid woman. Just bad lovers. Men, that is. I suppose Clifton was all wham-bang-thank-you-ma’am.” She looked down and ran a red-painted nail across the line Madison had crossed out. “And what’s wrong with self-gratification if the man of the hour is incapable of giving you satisfaction? Go buy yourself a dildo. Didn’t you ever…you know, do it to—?”
“Enough, already.” Now Madison really did want to climb under the breakfast bar in embarrassment. “Okay, so my growth is a bit stunted in the sexual field. You’re right, I do need to get laid, particularly if I want to complete my makeover plan and be pregnant by the time I’m thirty, but—”
“I’m glad you agree, baby girl, because then you won’t be angry with me.” She smirked at her daughter.
“Mother, what have you done?” A cold shiver trickled down Madison’s spine. Her mother was capable of anything.
Rosa opened her handbag, pulled out a small mirror and poked at her hairspray-stiffened locks. Her voice was nonchalant as she said, “I’ve hired you a stud to practice on.”
“You’ve what?” In danger of falling to the floor in shock, Madison grabbed at the bench.
“I saw an advert in the local paper. Stud Finders Incorporated. I rang and asked them to find you a stud. The bill will come to me so you don’t have to worry about paying for it. My treat. All you have to do is enjoy.”
“You didn’t!”
“Oh, yes, I did, and don’t take that tone with me, baby girl. It’s time I intervened. I don’t want to see you spend as many years on your own as I did. You should get busy and make some grandchildren for me.”
“I plan on doing that,” Madison spluttered, “but I just need a bit of help to get started.”
“That’s what I’m giving you, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Anyway, it’s too late to cancel. The answering service said someone will be in contact with you this afternoon.”
She slid to her feet and slung her handbag over her shoulder. As she passed Madison, she reached up and patted her gently on the cheek. “Sex is fun, sweetie, if you learn to relax and enjoy it. With a hired stud, it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do. You’ll never see him again when all this is over. In the meantime, use him, get some of that whoopty-do going. After all, that’s what he’s being paid for.”
Mouth open, Madison watched as her mother disappeared out of the front door of the house.
<
br /> “Oh my God, my mother bought me a sex toy?”
CHAPTER 2
“You looking for a stud, lady?” Jake frowned and scratched his head as he stood at the door of the little cottage. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember the woman’s name. Bad manners to keep calling her lady.
He took a good look at the “lady” in question. She wasn’t beautiful in the classic sense, but she sure had something. Blonde-streaked hair framing her face and brushing her shoulders. Grey-green eyes that, at the moment, held a stunned expression. Long, long legs that seemed to go on forever.
And a body that set his testosterone on high alert and made his cock sit up and beg for attention. A body clad in a deep blue swimsuit cut high at the sides to show off those fabulous legs. With a top plunging in front to showcase the generous curve of her breasts. Breasts that begged for his hands to reach out and tease, to…
Whoa, boy.
Back up a pace, Jake, old man. You’re not doing anything with those breasts. You’re just doing a favor for your dear old dad. He silently told his libido to stand down and cleared his throat. “Um, I believe you contacted Stud Finders Incorporated. Well, I’m your—”
“Quick, come inside before someone sees you.” Madison grabbed his arm and dragged him into the house. “I thought you’d ring, not just turn up here.”
Jake frowned again. “Lady—”
“Madison. My name is Madison.” She cast a quick glance over at her nearest neighbor’s house before slamming the front door and leaning against it, her hand on her chest as she breathed a relieved sigh.
That’s when she remembered how she was dressed, or rather, undressed. Heat suffused her face as she dove past her startled guest, through the house to the French doors at the back and over to the sun-bed beside the pool. Grabbing up her sarong, she wrapped it about her breasts, giving an extra tug on the knot to secure it.
She’s never been so embarrassed in her life. It was bad enough her mother had to buy her a stud, but to have him catch her in her swimwear… It smacked too much of desperation, as if she was just waiting for her gigolo to come along and do the dirty.
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