by B. B. Hamel
She gets quiet after that. I don’t really know why, but I can tell something just shifted. Maybe it was the way I spoke about that guy, or maybe she’s just not feeling that well. But maybe ten more minutes of small talk and she asks to be taken home.
I know when to call it, and I’m not going to force her to stay. I don’t know why she suddenly pulled away like that, but I know that the best thing to do is give her time. I got a glimpse of the kind of woman she can be out on that dance floor, and it’s that side of Erin that I want. I need the wild and free Erin.
It’s going to happen sooner or later. We leave the club and I drop her off in front of an apartment building on the west side of town, a decent looking place. I don’t kiss her goodbye, but she does linger for a second longer than she needs to.
“I had fun,” she says.
“I know you did,” I say, smirking. “I had fun, too.”
She looks at me for a second, and then she leans toward me.
I don’t need to be told twice. I lean forward, take her hair in my fist, and kiss her the way I’ve been wanting to kiss her since the second I met her.
I love the way she tastes, the way her lips are soft. She throws herself into the kiss as deeply as I do. There’s no holding back in this moment from ether of us, and it feels so fucking good.
Slowly we break apart. She’s breathing deeply. “Good night,” she says suddenly and jumps out of my car.
Before I can say anything, she disappears into the building. I stare after her, totally fucking shocked.
What the hell just happened? One second she’s into me on the dance floor, and then she’s weird when I talk about the business, and then she’s kissing me, and then she’s running away. It’s like there are two versions of her and she keeps switching between them.
I can’t help but smile though. That kiss felt so fucking good, better than any kiss has felt in a long time. I don’t know what to think about that, but it’s the truth. When I put the car into gear and start heading home, I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. I’m practically tingling with desire and excitement.
I need to understand these two versions of Erin. That way I can isolate the one that seems to want me, and fix whatever is missing with the other. I’ll make her whole, and take what I want, sooner or later. It’s just a matter of time. She’ll be begging for more by the time I’m through with her.
8
Erin
After Griffin dropped me off and I stupidly kissed him, I had to wait in the lobby of that random building until he left. When he was gone, I snuck back out and called for a car to come pick me up.
I had an amazing time. I can’t deny it. That felt so damn good, going out with him like that and kissing him in his car. I didn’t expect to do any of that, and yet as soon as I was on the dance floor, I felt so good. His body against mine just kept driving the bad thoughts from my mind.
Everything was good until I stupidly started grilling him about his job. The things he said about my father weren’t surprising, but it just reminded me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it terrifies me.
But I want him. I can’t deny that. There’s no going back now though. I kissed him and it felt amazing, and now I have to figure out how I can juggle both of these things. On the one hand, I need to keep doing my job for my father. But on the other, I want Griffin and I want him badly.
I’m stuck in the middle of these two polar opposites, and I really don’t know what to do.
The next morning, I show up at Griffin’s like always. He doesn’t seem any different though, it’s just like a normal morning. But right before he leaves, he corners me in the hallway.
“Last night was good,” he says softly. He steps closer to me, his eyes locked on mine. “Really good.”
I have to look away. He’s so intense. “Yeah, it was,” I say.
He tips my chin up toward him. “I want to do it again.”
“Which part?” I ask stupidly.
He kisses me softly this time. I let him linger, wanting to savor every moment. “All of it,” he says before leaving.
I stare after him, chills running down my spine. He’s just so freaking handsome and charming. I’ve never met a person who can make me feel this way.
But I’m starting to notice my lack of experience. I’ve kissed people of course, but I know what he wants to do from here. I’ve never had sex with someone though, and I just don’t know if I’m ready to give that to him.
Even if I really, really want to. Because if anyone can make my first time special and good, it’s definitely Griffin. I can already tell he has that special touch, I could feel it in his kiss and on the dance floor. The man knows how to move and he knows how to make me feel things. I don’t know what else I need.
There’s just one thing holding me back, and it’s this stupid secret that’s still sitting between us. I quickly leave the hallway and go back to taking care of Lacey.
I try my hardest to forget about Griffin while I’m with Lacey. I’m as focused on her as possible. But I still find myself drifting off to dreams of Griffin’s rough hands on my hips.
The day drifts in fits and starts. Lacey goes down for a nap, but only sleeps for a half hour. I have to wolf down my lunch in that time. She’s fussy all day, for whatever reason. Normally she’s a dream, but today she just must be feeling off.
Well, that makes two of us.
My phone rings around three, pulling me out of my funk. I answer it without really thinking, distracted by Lacey trying to put one of her toys in her mouth.
“Hello?” I say.
“Erin. It’s me.”
I pause, surprised. “Dad?”
“I need something from you.” He sounds a little hurried, a little stressed.
“What can I do?” My heart starts beating quicker as nerves tingle down my skin.
“I’m two blocks away with a team of men. I want to sweep through the apartment.”
I stare openmouthed in shock at the wall. “You want to do what?”
“They’re professionals, Erin. They’ll be very discreet. You can watch the daughter while we search the apartment. It’ll take an hour at most, and then we’ll plant some bugs before we leave.”
“Bug?” I feel stupid, dim, and he’s only two blocks away.
“Bugs,” he says. “Listening devices. This way, you can leave this filthy job.”
Leave. He wants me to leave Griffin and Lacey.
“Why?” I sputter.
“You’ve done well, Erin. Very well. I was hard on you, I know, but this is a better course of action.” He pauses for a second. “Erin, we’re a block away.”
I stare at the ground and finally I look at Lacey. For the first time all day, she looks back at me and smiles. Suddenly her fussy tears are gone and she’s the adorable smiling baby that I’ve started to really enjoy.
They want to break into Griffin’s apartment. Well, they want me to let them in so that they can go through his things and plant listening devices all over. That’s so insane I can barely believe it. But if I let them, my father just might give me the job that I really want. He even said that I did well.
I might never see Griffin again. In fact, I probably won’t. And any semblance of privacy he once had will be totally gone. He’ll be bugged and watched in his own home all the time.
“You can’t,” I say.
Silence from my father for a moment. “Why?”
I suddenly pitch my voice down, whispering. “I’m not alone.”
“What’s happening?”
“He has a plumber here,” I say, thinking fast. “I think it’s his cousin.”
“His cousin is a plumber?” My father sounds unconvinced.
“Or someone his cousin recommended. I don’t know, but I’m not alone here. You can’t come now.”
“Erin, we’re on the way. Do something about him.”
“I can’t,” I hiss. “You can’t come now. You should have called sooner.”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I haven’t been checking, but there’s been a lot of noise.”
“Ask him,” he commands.
“I can’t just ask, that’ll look odd,” I say.
“Make it look normal,” my father answers, clearly angry. “Do it, Erin.”
I sigh and cover the phone for a moment. I count to twenty.
“He says he’ll be here late, and he’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Fuck,” my father says. “That’s just great. When does he take his lunch?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “This isn’t my fault. You need to prepare me for these things.”
Another short silence. “Fine,” he grunts. “I’m calling it off.”
My father hangs up the phone.
I collapse down onto the couch, practically shaking. Lacey teeters over to me and climbs into my lap.
I wrap my arms around her, not sure about what I just did. I may have just made a huge mistake. I don’t know if Griffin really likes me or if he just wants to sleep with me, and yet I’m willing to risk everything for him already. I lied to my father, and if he finds out, I’m finished. He’ll send me overseas again, or worse.
But the more I look at Lacey, the more I know that I did the right thing.
Sending me here to spy on Griffin was bad enough. I agreed to do it, because I was under the assumption that Griffin was a bad person. But the more I get to know him, the more I realize that it’s my father who’s the villain in this situation.
And I don’t know what to do. I’m beginning to believe that I have to protect Griffin and Lacey, but I don’t know how long I can do it before my father catches me. And if he does, I don’t know what he’ll do to me. Something awful, I’m sure.
It’s the right thing to do. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing, and betraying my family like this is very, very hard. But they’ve never done anything for me, never helped me beyond throwing money at me, and I can’t let them destroy Griffin like this. It’s evil and it’s wrong.
I hug Lacey close and vow never to let anyone hurt this sweet little girl, not if I can help it.
9
Griffin
Erin seemed odd last night when I got home from work, but that’s not a big deal. She didn’t linger and didn’t kiss me, which is something of a surprise. In fact, she seemed like she was in a hurry to get out of there.
I keep thinking about it all morning. She showed up at my apartment just as I was leaving, and part of me thought she wasn’t going to show. I was afraid I scared her away. Instead, she did show up, but she seemed distant again.
I don’t know what changed. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Maybe she’s feeling insecure about her job, but she doesn’t need to.
I want to send her something. Maybe some flowers or a gift, maybe something to snap her out of this. I sit back and think about some delicious little gifts I can send her, something to embarrass her a little bit, get her dirty mind working.
But as I’m thinking about it, I realize that I don’t know her address. I dropped her off in front of a building and she went in the other night, but I don’t know which apartment she lives in. I’ve been paying her in cash from the start, and James never gave me her address.
I buzz my secretary and have her get James for me. I have to wait ten minutes but he eventually shows up. He ambles into my office and flops down on the couch as always.
“What’s up, boss?” he asks.
I sigh. “I’m not your boss.”
“Whatever. Want to go over the meeting notes from earlier?”
I shake my head. “I actually just need Erin’s address.”
He hesitates a second, which is odd. “Why do you need that?” he asks.
“I want to send her something. A little bonus.”
He smirks. “I know what kind of bonus you want to give her.”
“Stop. Just give me the address.”
“I don’t have it.”
I frown at him. “Really?”
“Really. I mean, I have it somewhere, but not off the top of my head.”
“Can you get it for me?”
“Probably. But if you want to give her something, I suggest just doing it in person.”
“Why?” I ask, curious. He doesn’t normally try and resist me this hard.
“I don’t know. Women like that.”
Another vague answer. If I didn’t know better, I’d think something was a little fishy about this. But I trust him implicitly, and if he says he has it but not on hand, I believe him.
“I’d rather send it,” I say. “Get me that address if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Okay then, boss,” he says, and heads out of my office.
I wait maybe ten minutes without a reply from James before giving up. I figure he’s too busy and he’ll get back to me eventually, but I can’t wait any longer.
I spend an hour looking through lingerie websites. I want to find the perfect thing, sexy but not over the top. I don’t want to scare her, but I do want to get her thinking about wearing it for me.
I’m going to break through this wall, whatever it is. I know all it’ll take is a little perseverance. Sooner or later, she’s going to be mine.
I call and order two sets of lingerie and have them sent via courier to my apartment. It’s expensive, but that doesn’t matter to me. I just want to set them up and have her find them in the morning.
I’m excited for the rest of the day. James never gets back to me, but I don’t actually notice that. I’m too busy at work and thinking about Erin in this lingerie to realize that James blew me off.
I head home a bit earlier tonight and find Erin in the middle of feeding Lacey.
“Hey, you two,” I say as I walk into the kitchen.
Erin looks up and smile. Lacey makes a noise and I go over and give her a kiss.
“How was she today?” I say.
“Good.” Erin gives Lacey a little piece of fruit. “She’s eating a lot tonight, too.”
“That’s my girl. Going to grow up strong like her daddy.”
Erin laughs a little bit. “Do you want to take over this?”
“I’d be happy to.” I take off my suit jacket and roll up my sleeves before sitting down in Erin’s spot.
As I feed Lacey, Erin gathers her things. I frown at her as she’s about to leave.
“Hold on a second. You can hang around, if you want. I’m cooking dinner tonight.”
She frowns a little bit. “I shouldn’t. I have to get home.”
“Okay then.” There’s a short beat between us. “Listen, if this is about the other night—“
“No,” she says quickly, shaking her head. “No. Not at all. I had a lot of fun. I just have to get home.”
“Okay then,” I say, smirking at her. “Do what you have to do. I’ll see you at the same time tomorrow morning.”
“Good night.”
“Night.” She turns and leaves.
I sigh then finish feeding Lacey. When dinner’s over, I spend more time with her, read to her, and get her to bed. When she’s down, I check for packages outside, and sure enough there’s a brown box waiting just for me.
I bring it inside, smiling to myself. I don’t know what the deal is with Erin, but it doesn’t matter. These little gifts are going to change her mind.
Plus, I ended up buying her one more little gift. It’s in the box, and I grin to myself when I pull it out. I bet she’s never had something like this before. I bet it’s going to make her blush, if she even realizes what it is. She’s so innocent, but I’m going to change that.
I set to wrapping her presents, excitement coursing through me.
10
Erin
I’m still distant to him that morning, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I’m torn to pieces and he has no idea why, and that doesn’t help at all. I wish I could explain to him why I’m so dis
tant. I’m protecting him and his family, but I’m afraid that if I get too close, I’ll ruin things for him by accident.
I don’t want to hurt him or Lacey. Griffin doesn’t deserve that. Which is why I’m surprised when he pauses before leaving this morning and looks in at me holding Lacey.
“I got something for you,” he says to me.
“Oh yeah?” I ask, a little surprised.
“Consider it a present. Nothing to do with your employment.”
I raise an eyebrow, not sure where this is going. “What is it?”
“It’s in the bedroom. Have a good day.” He smirks at me then turns and leaves the house.
I watch him go, intrigued. “What did your daddy get me?” I ask Lacey.
“Trains!” she says, and I laugh.
“Sure, trains.” I take her back into the living room and set her down in front of her toys. She immediately starts playing with the little toy trains. Lacey doesn’t like typical girl toys, which her father doesn’t seem to mind one bit, and that’s something I like about him. Some parents might push their child toward something gender-specific, but Griffin doesn’t care as long as Lacey’s happy.
I leave her in the living room and quickly walk into the bedroom. There is a wrapped package on the bed. I grab it and take it back into the living room. I watch Lacey play as I set the box down on the kitchen island, able to see her easily in the open room plan.
I slowly pull the box open, not sure what I’m going to find. I’m a little nervous, actually. I know Griffin and I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to be some tame and appropriate gift, like a book or something.
And of course I’m right. Inside the package is a lingerie set. It’s black and lacey and very, very revealing. I blush a little bit just thinking about wearing it in front of Griffin. I’m not big on revealing outfits, and I’ve never even worn a shred of lingerie, unless you count my basic black bra, which I don’t. This stuff is definitely leagues beyond anything I’ve ever considered wearing, and it actually excites me a little bit.
