by Shay Savage
“Cool.” I give her a smile as she walks away from me.
I stare at the blank page for a moment, wondering how to begin. Finally, I write the word “timeline” at the top. When I still can’t figure out how to start, I decide to make a note at the bottom of the page with the information I know to be true. I hesitate, not knowing what name to put down and not wanting to write down all three. I finally decide to just write “she” and move on from there.
She gets dumped on the road, and I find her.
Okay, there’s my end point. With a few words finally on the page, the task feels less intimidating. I sit for thirty minutes, writing down everything I know. When I’m done, I sit back and read it through.
The Haugens have two daughters.
Seri is killed by a truck when Iris is 17 (ten years ago).
Iris gets involved with Kyle.
Iris is thrown off a bridge.
She moves to Montana.
Over three months, she travels from Montana to Calgary to Fort Providence to Whatì.
I meet her at Broken Toy’s.
She gets dumped on the road, and I find her.
Though there are some huge gaps, I feel like what I have is fairly accurate. I have no idea how long Iris stayed with Kyle, the date they were married in Vegas, or when he tried to kill her. I stare at the page, take a deep breath, and write two more lines to the right side of the list.
When did Netti appear?
Why did Iris become Seri?
What happened to Iris’s parents?
I also add question marks next to the line about Iris being thrown from bridge. I can’t imagine that actually happened if there is no report of it at all. Iris’s account was so vivid, but now I have my doubts about all of it.
The key to all of this is Netti—I’m sure of that. I have to have a long, difficult sit-down with her to get some straight answers. She’s been deceptive with me before, but the articles may help with getting the truth out of her.
I have no idea how I’m going to deal with Seri and Iris at this point. I have to talk to Netti first.
“Are you about done?” Margot asks. “I hate to kick you out, but…”
“That’s all right.” I pick up the papers as I stand. “Do you mind if I hang onto these?”
“Not at all. I’ll see if I can find anything else, but I was pretty thorough the first time.”
“Thanks.” I hand Margot her pen and head toward the door for my parka. “I need to get back.”
“Will you be all right?” she asks as she follows me to the exit.
“I don’t know,” I tell her. “I’m not even sure where to start. I need to talk to all of them, but the one I need to talk to the most…well, she’s hard to reach sometimes.”
Margot lets her breath out in a huff.
“This is a lot to take in, Bishop.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
“Are you sure you need to be in the middle of it all?”
“I think I am, like it or not.” I put on my parka and shove the papers into the pocket.
“At some point, I’m going to have to meet this woman,” Margot says, “or should I say ‘women’? I’m honestly not sure what the proper term is.”
“You’re asking me?” I chuckle. “You’re the one who went to college.”
“I don’t think this was covered in any of my classes.” She smiles for a moment and then furrows her brow. “What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea.” I shrug. “Try to get to the truth of it all, I guess.”
“Good luck with that.”
Margot turns to head back to the main part of the lodge, but I reach out and grab her arm to stop her.
“Margot?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.” I have to clear my throat to keep going. “I’m sorry about the way things were between us. You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry I wasn’t…that I couldn’t be better for you.”
Margot presses her lips together for a second, and I’m pretty sure there are tears in her eyes as she steps up close to me and wraps her arms around my neck for a brief hug.
“Thank you, Bishop. That means a lot to me.”
Chapter 25
I stand outside the door to my cabin, afraid to open it.
I’ve never been a confrontational person. In my experience, confrontation leads to blood, and I avoid situations that might become tense by staying the hell away from other people unless it’s absolutely necessary. Since leaving prison, that’s worked pretty well for me.
Now, with so much new information in my head, I know I need to get some straight answers. Though I’ve figured out how to get Iris to appear, I have no idea how to get a hold of the more elusive personality of Netti, and she is the only one who might be able to tell me what I need to know. First, I have to will myself through the door.
With a deep breath, I grab the handle and go inside.
It’s dark, and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust. The fire is burning, but there are no candles lit, though the sun is setting outside. Solo meows a greeting from the kitchen counter, but everything else is still and quiet.
I open my mouth to call out a name, but I pause when I’m not sure which name to utter. My indecisiveness adds to my building anxiety, and when I see a slight movement in the corner of the room, I tense even more.
The figure in the dark suddenly rushes forward, and I see the outline of the fire poker held high in the air. It swings in an arc right in front of me as a voice screams out.
“Get the fuck away from me, you asshole!”
“Iris! What the fuck?” I raise my hands in defense, but she stops short of bringing the poker down on my head.
“Bishop!” Iris stands motionless with the poker held out in front of her.
“What the hell are you doing?” I grab the poker and tear it from her hand.
“How else am I supposed to protect myself when you leave me here alone?” She screams at me with her hands now balled into fists.
“Protect yourself from what?”
“From Kyle, dammit!” Iris smacks my chest with both hands and then immediately throws herself at me, nearly tackling me in the process, and wraps her arms around my neck.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. “Why are you so upset?”
“I was so scared!” She’s shaking and crying, but I have no idea what could have upset her.
“Scared? Why?”
“I don’t know!” She tucks her face into the fur of my parka. “You were gone so long! I heard a car coming up, but then you didn’t come through the door! I was sure Kyle had found me!”
“Iris, it’s okay,” I say as I toss the poker on the floor with a clang. I pull my gloves off behind her back, drop them next to the poker, and hold her against me. “I was just outside the door.”
“Why were you gone so long? Why? You said you’d be back in the afternoon, and it’s night already!”
“It’s not night,” I tell her. “It’s just sunset. That happens pretty early this time of the year. It can’t be much past three-thirty.”
“How the fuck am I suppose to know that when you don’t even have a fucking clock?”
“Do you want me to buy a clock?” I ask. Finding myself in harm’s way just by walking through the door has pissed me off, and I can’t help the sarcasm in my voice. “Would that make you happy?”
“No. Telling me the real reason you left might be a good start though.”
“Real reason?” I toss my hands in the air and take a step away. “What real reason is that?”
“You were with her, weren’t you?” Iris clenches her jaw as she glares at me.
“Who?”
“That girl who taught you how to fuck. You went to see her.”
“Margot? Jesus, Iris, she and I have been over for a long time.”
“So you did see her.” She tilts her head and gives me a smug smile.
“Yeah, I did. I saw her and we talked.”
&n
bsp; “Got a piece of ass, did you?” Iris curls up her lip into a snarl.
“Iris, I haven’t been with Margot in that way for years,” I say sternly. “If I haven’t gone into Whatì to get a piece of ass all that time I was alone, why would I bother doing that now when I have you here?”
She glares at me wordlessly, and I stare right back. I can see in her eyes that she can’t fault my logic, and I’m frankly getting tired of the accusation.
“We done with this now?” I ask.
“You were still gone a long time.” She stalks across the room and plops down on the chair with her arms folded across her chest. “You never even told me why you were going.”
“I had something I needed to check out.” I yank off my parka and boots.
“Margot’s ass?” Iris mutters under her breath.
“You’ve got a serious jealous streak, don’t you?”
“Fuck you.” She grabs a book from the table and flips it open.
Solo jumps off the counter and rubs up against my ankles, meowing. He prances over to the kitchen and then back to me, continuing to howl.
“I’m going to feed the cat now,” I call over my shoulder as I head into the kitchen area. “You all right with that? I swear, I’m not interested in his ass!”
“Why in the world would you be interested in Solo’s ass?” Seri’s lighthearted laughter floats up from the other side of the room.
Well, that’s one way for Iris to avoid an argument. I close my eyes and take a deep, centering breath. I can’t exactly continue the argument I was having with Iris now, and I’m ticked off that she would use such an underhanded avoidance tactic. I shake my head and get Solo’s meal ready for him while I remind myself that all this craziness is worth the effort.
At least, I think it is.
“Wow, it got dark quickly.” Seri lights the candle on the table, obviously completely oblivious to what just transpired. “I must have dozed off while I was reading. Did you just get back?”
“Yeah.” What else am I supposed to say?
“I’m glad you’re back,” Seri says. She places the book down on the table and comes over to me, wrapping her arms around me from the back.
I tense slightly, still full of adrenaline.
“Are you all right?” she asks.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.”
“For me, too,” Seri says. “I’ve felt weird all day.”
I place Solo’s food in front of him and then turn to face Seri, my ire replaced by worry as I take her face in my hands.
“You aren’t getting sick again, are you?” I ask.
“No, not weird like that.” Seri looks up at me, her expression troubled. “Things just felt wrong. I kept looking out the window. I felt like I was in danger the whole time you were gone. There’s no lock on your door, you know.”
“Did you think that guy might show up here?” I ask, wondering how much of Iris’s fears were transferred to Seri.
“Yeah,” Seri says quietly. “I was thinking about that.”
“I’ve never had much reason for locking the door,” I say. “Maybe I do now.”
I regret the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth. I don’t need to make Seri worry about her safety, and I seriously doubt that Kyle McGuire would have any luck finding this place even if he did somehow trace Iris to me.
“Do you think he could find me here?” Seri asks quietly. She tightens her grip around my waist.
I start to tell her that there is no way he could trace her here, but something occurs to me. I need to speak with Netti, and she shows up when Seri is frightened. If Seri is really afraid that Kyle could show up here at the cabin, I might be able to use that to my advantage. If I push her just a little more, maybe the fear would bring Netti to the surface.
I take a deep breath and then lean in close to her ear.
“You’re right to be afraid,” I say in a low voice. “That man is out there looking for you. What if he had shown up here while I was gone? You have no way to protect yourself.”
“Bishop…” Her voice cracks, and she starts shaking.
“You would have been alone and without protection. He could have come right in here and taken you away. What could you have done? Nothing, probably. I would have come back to an empty cabin. I wouldn’t even know where to look for you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as waves of guilt flow through me. Just as I’m about to apologize for saying such things, I feel all the tension in her body suddenly evaporate. I tighten my grip, fearing she is about to fall, but she abruptly rights herself and looks up at me, her eyes calm and her breathing normal again.
“Netti?”
She doesn’t respond. She closes her eyes for a moment, sways slightly, and then tightens her grip on my forearms.
“Netti?” I say again.
“Yes?” She straightens her shoulders, releases my arms, and takes a step away from me. “What are you doing?”
“I needed to talk to you,” I say. “I wasn’t sure how else to get you to…to come out of hiding.”
She narrows her eyes at me, and I shrug.
“That was…unkind,” she says.
“If you have a better way,” I tell her, “please explain it to me. We need to talk, and I couldn’t think of another way to get to you.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“How about we sit?”
She continues to look at me with apprehension as we move to the front of the fire and sit on the rug, facing each other.
“Well?” she asks.
“I need some answers,” I tell her. “And by answers, I mean truthful ones.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I saw Serenity’s obituary.” I stare at her face as her eyes darken, and she looks away from me. “I know she died when Iris was a teenager, and I know Iris wasn’t killed by her husband. You can’t keep this from me anymore. I need to know, Netti. I need to understand who all is in there and why. I have a right to know the truth.”
“What does it matter?” Netti glares at me. For the first time, I see emotion in her eyes. “What does it matter who was first and who was not? We are what we are.”
“It matters to me.” I tap myself on the chest and lean closer to her. “I’m being dragged into the middle of something that I don’t understand. I thought I had most of it figured out, and then all of a sudden, I realize all of you have been lying to me.”
“We did not lie.”
“Bullshit!” I stare at her until she can no longer hold my gaze.
“We might not have told you everything, but we didn’t lie.”
“Iris told me she died,” I say. “Seri told me that Iris died, but she didn’t. Iris lived, and Seri is the one who was killed—and not by her husband, either.”
“What we said was not a lie. It was simply…misleading.”
“You think that makes it any better?”
“It is necessary,” Netti says in her usual monotone voice. “We do it to protect Seri.”
“You’ve told me that before,” I say, “but protect her from what? From whom? Kyle? Who is Seri, huh? Who is she really?”
“She is the important one.” Netti pauses, still refusing to look into my eyes. “You know she is.”
“I don’t know that. I don’t even know what that means.”
“Seri is the good one,” Netti says. “She is the one who deserves to be in front—to live her life.”
“What about Iris?”
“Iris gets in the way. Iris is the reason we are in danger.”
“And you think keeping that from Seri protects her? How can she be safe if she doesn’t even know what’s happening?”
“When it’s necessary, we can step forward. Seri doesn’t need to know.”
“I don’t buy it.” I lean forward, making it harder for Netti to avoid looking at me. “There’s more to it than that. What do you think is going to happen if Seri finds out about you or about I
ris?”
Netti closes her eyes and grits her teeth.
“You want me to protect you,” I say. “You want me to keep all of you safe. How can I do that when I don’t understand?”
“We’re afraid,” Netti says quietly as she opens her eyes and finally looks at me. “If we tell you, you might not like what you hear. It is a risk. We don’t like risks.”
“You don’t have to be afraid,” I tell her, “not of me. Hearing the truth doesn’t mean I’m going to make you leave. I don’t want you to leave. Knowing the truth isn’t going to change how I feel about you.”
Netti tilts her head and stares at me intently.
“Do you mean that?” she asks. “How can you be sure? We might tell you something you don’t want to hear.”
“Well,” I say as I hold out my hand and start counting on my fingers, “I already know you have some whack-job coming after you. You’ve been running from him all this time without warning me. You used to sell drugs. You lied about who is alive and who isn’t, and you are great at avoiding the truth by switching personalities. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, there are at least three of you living in there. Do you really think whatever you have to say is going to turn me away, given what I already know?”
Netti stiffens and stares into the fire. When she doesn’t respond, I reach over and take her hand.
“Can you please tell me what I want to know? I swear, I won’t tell you to leave.”
“All right,” she finally says with a sigh. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
Chapter 26
I light a few more candles and get myself a glass of whiskey while Netti collects her thoughts. I don’t want another hangover, but I have a feeling I’m going to need at least one glass. I offer one to Netti, but she shakes her head.
I sit down in front of her and set my glass off to the side. I light a cigarette and look at her face, trying to be patient.
“I’m not sure where to start,” Netti says. “Maybe you should ask a specific question.”
“How about when all of this started? When did Iris stop being just Iris?”
“When we were very young,” Netti says. “Seri was very sick as a child. Did you know that?”
“No. What was wrong with her?”
