“Yeah, with you wearing that? Sure, I’m sure he was incredibly interested in talking to you about low interest rate car loans. What, did he want to take you for a “ride”?”
I sucked in a deep breath, and then counted to ten before I opened my mouth. “I was cleaning, and planning to go for a run when I was done. I’m wearing workout clothes, not a G-string and bikini top. And let’s be clear – if I was wearing that, it would be my prerogative, because I’m a grown ass woman, and I’ll wear what I want.”
“I-I’m just saying, damn. How am I supposed to feel when this big buff dude was towering over you, looking at you like he wanted to snatch you up?”
I suppressed a shiver from running up my spine at the thought of Jason “snatching me up”. Gray made it sound like a bad thing… but I guess to him it probably was. The thing was though, if he had a problem, why didn’t he straighten up his damn back, and walk over with confidence? Ask what was going on? Palm my booty to make it clear I was his?
Instead, he slunk over from behind his car, eyeing the army tattoos on Jason’s broad arms. With his hand in his pocket, no doubt unlocking his phone in case he needed to summon the police. Calling my name with no bass in his voice, like he expected me to do the claiming and protecting.
I wasn’t nearly progressive enough for that shit.
I let out a heavy sigh.
“I get it,” I said, trying not to flinch when he pulled me into an embrace. The lack of warmth I felt made it clear to me that our relationship ship was well past the climax, and reaching the resolution. Fast. It just wasn’t a conversation I was ready to have today.
“What are you even doing here?” I asked. “I thought you had some legal conference or something to get to today?”
He gave me a beautiful smile that did nothing for me, moving his hands to grab handfuls of my ass and squeeze. “I do, this afternoon. But I was hoping that before I drove up there, you could give me a nice little send off…”
I’m not quite sure how I controlled myself from sneering. “Um, let’s raincheck, okay? I wish you’d called. I really have to finish my weekly cleaning, and I have to get this run in, and-”
“So you’d rather clean, and work out, than be with me?” His hands loosened their hold on me, and he stepped away, shaking his head. “Or is this about the little stare off between you and GI Joe?”
“Oh God,” I rolled my eyes. “No. I’m just not feeling it right now. Is that a crime?”
“Not feeling it, or not feeling me?”
I bit my lip. I was trying so hard but…
“You know what? Not feeling you. You claim you’re too busy to even send me a damned text message throughout the day, and the first time you get to see me in two weeks, you want to drop by for a quickie? Really Gray? That seemed like a good plan to you?”
He opened and closed his mouth for a few second, like he was searching for something to say, before he finally dropped his shoulders. “I thought that’s what you would want?” he said weakly, and I bit down on my lip again as I nodded.
“Did you? Okay.”
His face brightened. “Okay? So come inside, let’s do this…”
I pushed his hand off my ass. “No, you misunderstood. We’re not having sex today. If all you have time for is a quickie, you don’t have time to make up for falling asleep after those five pumps last time I saw you, for not making any effort to talk to me these last few weeks, and the months before that, or for dropping by here unannounced like this is a cat house!”
He recoiled backwards. “Damn, Reesie… what has gotten into you? Why are you being so mean?”
Mean?
Mean?
He looked damn near ready to cry, when Jason would have…Ugh!
I looked away from him, inhaling a deep breath through my nose, letting it stream out of my mouth before I brought my gaze back to his. “I’m sorry for being mean, but I think you should go ahead to your conference.”
Not giving him a chance to respond, I climbed in my mother’s car, moving it down to her driveway. I hoped that by the time I was done, Gray would have gotten the picture, and taken his ass home.
- & -
I stopped in my tracks as I headed into the library, narrowing my eyes at a familiar-looking car. I thought about it for a few seconds and then went in, heading straight for the second floor.
“Liv!” I called out, when I spotted her coming out of the bathroom, fixing her clothes. I could have sworn she saw me before I said her name, but maybe she was just distracted. She seemed flustered when she turned around, but her face bloomed into a bright smile as I approached.
“Hey, Reese! What are you doing here?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Umm, it’s the library… where the books are, and my mom’s classroom, and office…”
“Ah! Right! Sorry.” She shook her head, then finished smoothing her clothes. “I’m a little bit out of it.”
“Girl, we all have our days. Hey, have you seen Gray in here?”
Her eyes went wide, and she leaned her head forward a little. “Who?”
I laughed. “Grayson… my boyfriend, crazy girl!”
Olivia and I hadn’t known each other very long – just the past two years, since I’d started grad school. We weren’t confidant-friends, more like “hey let’s go out/do lunch”, but she’d met Grayson before, on more than one occasion at Refill.
“Ohhh,” she said, nodding. I shook my head. She really was out of it today. “Umm, yeah. Some hours ago, over in the legal section. He was researching case law.”
“Oh.” I twisted my mouth a little. “I thought all of that was available online?”
Olivia’s face spread into a weak smile. “Oh, you know how Grayson is. Likes to put his hands on it. Touch the pages.”
“So… he’s up here often?”
“No, I wouldn’t say often,” she shook her head. “Has he not mentioned it to you? Is everything okay with you guys?”
“Of course,” I lied with a smile. “Like I said, we all have our days, and I’m a little out of it myself. I’m gonna head on to this office. See you later.”
She nodded. “Okay. Bye hon!”
I turned and walked away from Olivia, trying to keep my shoulders relaxed even though I was seething inside. Another a week and a half had passed with minimal contact between me and Grayson, though he had apologized for that stupid Saturday morning.
The thing was, I wasn’t looking for an apology. I didn’t want his meaningless words, I wanted him to do something. I wanted him to let me know he was going to be at the law library while I was on campus, I could help him research. I wanted him to send me those random messages again throughout the day. I wanted him to stop by my place in the middle of the night, wake me up, and screw me back to sleep. I wanted him to make me forget Jason Wright existed.
I wanted… something that wasn’t the relationship we’d established.
But just like that Saturday morning we’d fought, I wasn’t trying to think about that. I had other things on my mind. I had my own paper due next week, and a test, plus heavier shit that I was trying to ignore. Men weren’t in the top five list of things I needed to be thinking about. Hell, they weren’t even in the top ten, but somehow Grayson’s actions had sunk my already sullen mood even further.
As I turned the corner to get to my mother’s office, I walked right into a tall, broad body. I was moving so fast that I damn near bounced backwards, but strong arms went around me, keeping me balanced.
“Sorry,” I said, then stepped away, and was already about to continue my journey down the hall when he spoke up.
“That’s it? No insult today?”
My head popped up, and I really looked at who I’d bumped into it.
Jason.
I hadn’t seen him since last Saturday either, but he’d certainly been on my mind. I’d needed to meet with one of my professors during the time I would have normally seen him in my mother’s class, and I felt halfway insane for almost… kind of�
�� missing him.
Although we hadn’t been in each other’s presence, I’d read his words. The class was on the romance novel that I’d recommended to my mother, and the students had been tasked with giving their preliminary thoughts, at the halfway point of the book. Not a full paper, not even a critique, not about the technical aspects, not really. Just their casual thoughts.
“Honestly? I think these two are silly. I’ll admit that I don’t read a ton of romance novels, but does this dynamic ever work? According to his description of her, Vivienne is smart, sexy, successful, and amazing in bed according to these sex scenes. What man wouldn’t want to make her his? Well, this idiotic one in this book, Carter. I’m a little past halfway, and she just dropped the “what am I to you?” bomb on him, and I swear I wanted to smack this dude for his reaction. If he wasn’t into her like that, okay, I would get it. But that’s not the case. He loves this girl, but instead of admitting that, and explaining whatever (most likely bullshit) reason he has to not be with her, he broke her heart. It’s not cool. Not at all.”
I was supposed to be commenting on these. I was supposed to be asking questions, pulling more from them based on their thoughts, compiling a list that my mother would use to discuss love, romance, and dysfunctional family dynamics in literature. The next book on their list was literary fiction, with a heavy romance element. The one after that was more focused on families. They’d be contrasting the difference between how different elements were interwoven in the three novels.
So it was important. And still, I was putting it off. For one, because the class was still reading the book, and there was still time before that discussion. Also?
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what Jason’s thoughts were on life, and love. I was intrigued enough without that.
“No, not today,” I said, giving him a wry smile.
“Wow, do I need to check your temperature or something? Call a doctor?”
I laughed a little as I studied him, and shook my head. “Nah. Not necessary.”
He was wearing the mechanic’s shirt again today, and for the first time, I noticed the “J. Wright” embroidered above the pocket. No idea how I’d missed it before. “Okay,” he said, nodding. It was almost funny, that he looked so genuinely confused. “You sure you’re aiight?”
“Yes,” I lied, for the second time in less than five minutes. “I’m fine.”
“See you in class Friday?”
I smirked. “What, did you miss me or something?”
“Nah,” he said, after sucking his teeth. “Nobody missed your mean ass. I just noticed you weren’t there is all.”
“Uh huh. Sure.”
“You gonna answer the question?”
I let out a little sigh, then brought my gaze up to meet his, forcing myself to smile. “I… don’t know yet. I never know useful information. Remember?” I winked at him, and then turned away, finishing my trip down the hall to my mother’s office.
That little flirting had stripped the last of my emotional energy, and I unlocked the door with what felt like the last of my physical too. I closed it behind me, and then dropped into the chair at the desk I used, resting my head on the desk with a sigh.
After a few moments had passed, I pulled out my phone, navigating it to a particular number. I waffled for several moments, knowing I couldn’t call it, but wanting to anyway. Finally, I tucked it away. Pulled out my laptop, started it up, and dove into my work.
Anything to absorb myself in and make it through the next few days.
six.
I didn’t make it to class Friday.
Not my class, not my mother’s class, and I didn’t even bother explaining, because she already knew why. I slept in as late as my body would let me – nine in the morning, even after I’d been up at midnight the night before to go for a run.
As soon as the sunlight pulled me from my sleep, I got up, drank a cup of Valerian tea, took more melatonin, and climbed my ass right back in the bed to toss and turn. By the time 2pm rolled around, it was clear that my body wasn’t on board with my idea to sleep away the cognizance that this day even existed.
Logic said that a bottle of wine would easily solve my problem, but I wasn’t interested in dealing with the hangover after. Instead, I pulled myself out of bed and showered until the water ran cold, and I had to get out.
2:42.
I pulled an oversized tee-shirt over my head and made my way into the kitchen, searching for something that would spark an appetite. Almond milk, wheat bread, special K, tomatoes, rice crackers, apples, dried lentils, chicken breast… I pushed out a heavy sigh.
Nobody wanted any of that shit.
I let the refrigerator swing closed, and then just stood there, looking… crazy. Another heavy sigh, and I made my way into the living room, grabbing the remote before I flopped down on the couch. I’d just turned the TV on when my doorbell rang, and I debated about whether or not I planned to answer. It sounded again, with a little more urgency, and I drug myself up from the couch to get it.
The same delivery guy from a few weeks ago stood on my doorstep, holding what I knew were Thai spicy wings, even through the closed box. That sweet, piquant aroma drifted up to my nose, making my stomach rumble with hunger. I didn’t even know the circumstances – I just thanked God for provision, and signed the little slip confirming I’d gotten them. He waved me off when I said I had to grab my wallet, telling me the bill was already paid.
I lit into that box before the door was even closed, licking sticky red-brown sauce from my fingers as I kicked it shut. I stood there in my foyer eating, and was through half of the set of ten wings when I figured I should probably see which one of my love ones had rescued me.
My cell phone was off, and had been all morning. I hadn’t planned to turn it on at all today, but it probably wasn’t the best idea in the world to be completely unavailable. As soon as it powered on, it began pinging and vibrating, informing me of social media notifications and new texts.
There were a couple from my mother, which I immediately returned, because I didn’t want her worrying about me. Same with Devyn, who was at work now, but had sent me a picture of herself with a box of wings, captioned “Twin with me boo! I know Auntie makes you keep all that health-nut stuff in the house, but I had a feeling you might need something a little different today. Let me know if you need me. *hugs*”
I smiled. Of course my bestie had thought to take care of me. I sent her a message back as well, thanking her for the wings and assuring her that I was fine, even if it wasn’t completely true. She didn’t get off from her shift at the hospital until two in the morning and I didn’t want her worrying about me either.
The last message surprised me.
“Dani Renee at Refill tonight… you wanna go? – Grayson”
Hmm.
I still hadn’t said anything about him being at the library and not bothering to try to see me, because we hadn’t been in touch. He’d been busy doing whatever the hell he was doing, and I was busy trying not to have an emotional breakdown. But really, I wasn’t even interested anymore. Once I was past my funk, I would make it official, but we were so far past expiration date that our milk was turning to yogurt.
“No, sorry. Not in the mood.”
“No surprise there. – Grayson.”
I tilted my head to the side, staring at my phone, because what the whole entire fuck? No “hey, what’s wrong?” or “do you need anything?”, just a smart ass remark. Even Jason’s rude ass had the decency to ask what was going on with me when he could tell I wasn’t myself, but not the guy that was supposed to be my boyfriend?
I dropped the phone in my lap, disgusted, and picked up the rest of my wings. A few minutes later, I went and opened that wine, pouring half down the drain to make sure I didn’t drink it. Back at the couch, I realized just how intuitive that was. I turned the bottle back, and didn’t let it down until half of what was left was gone.
I finished my wings, finished my wine, and a
bout an hour later, I was passed out sleep again in front of the TV.
- & -
I woke up with a jolt.
My mouth was dry, and the tiniest hint of a headache was needling into my brain until I sat up, and life began to flow back into my limbs. I felt groggy, but through the fog, I realized that Dani Renee, a pretty neo-soul singer known for her haunting voice and red locs, was on my TV. She was giving an interview, but as I watched, it cut to a clip from one of her shows. Her distinctive voice sliced right through my morose attitude, hitting me in the gut, and I knew right then that yeah… I was going to Refill tonight.
Fuck Grayson.
I texted mama and Devyn where I would be, and then turned the TV off and hooked my phone to my sound system, blasting Dani’s CD as I took another shower. Summer was cooling into fall, so I had a perfect excuse to wear the cute combat boots I’d purchased on sale back in June, paired with a short, flowy pink long-sleeved dress that hung off my shoulders.
My phone chimed, and I checked it, noticing a message from Olivia, asking if I was going to Refill tonight. I already knew she was, because she always was, so I didn’t even bother responding. I’d see her when I got there tonight.
I pulled my braids back from my face and secured them with a clip, then brought some of them forward over one shoulder. I put on the biggest hoop earrings I had, plus some bracelets and the engraved nameplate necklace I never left home without. Some bb cream, liner, mascara, and a little lipstick, and I… still felt like shit.
I’d slept for damn near five hours after my wings and wine, so it was already nine at night before I left my house. I climbed into my little purple Audi and made my way across town, fighting the Friday night crowds to find a place to park.
I had to walk a bit to get to Refill, but the vibrant energy of the city was doing me some good. No matter how much I wanted to stay home and sleep the day away, now that I was out, I actually did feel better. It was nearing ten o clock by the time I made it into Refill, and the dynamic was beyond hype inside. According to the bartender, Dani was taking a little break but would be back on stage in a few minutes. I ordered a cranberry vodka and sprite, and sipped it while I walked around, looking for familiar faces.
Getting Schooled (The Wright Brothers Book 1) Page 6
