“Uhh, CD must be scratched.”
“I am not singing anything,” Amber said, shaking her head.
Feeling bad for Hilary, I rolled my eyes and gave in. The moment I began to sing her little face lit up. I wrapped my arms around myself and spun in a circle, making the bottom of the wedding dress fan out. Hilary did the same thing as me as she began to sing too. I put my hands out and she came to me instantly.
I spun her in a circle fast, still singing as her little legs went out in the air. I wrapped her in my magik, assuring myself that she couldn’t get hurt and felt another magik, the strange one I’d felt before move to encircle her as well. It bumped into mine and backed away quickly.
Setting Hilary down, I kept singing as she giggled and walked lopsided. I playfully danced my way to Amber who had her hands in the air while she shook her head no. Ignoring her, I took her hand and pulled her towards me. I rocked our bodies and reached back fast, grabbing Hilary and pulling her to me before she fell from being dizzy. She laughed harder.
I followed suit and backed up a bit, bumping into something solid when I knew that nothing was there. My entire body began to burn in the best way possible and for a split second I was convinced that a large hand touched my cheek. Knowing my imagination was off the charts when it came to overactive, I didn’t dwell on the sensation. Instead, I finished the song and spun Hilary again. This time I crumbled onto the ground next to her and laughed as the song ended. I nodded my head in the direction of the CD player, assuring myself that only songs that were appropriate would play.
“I think you’re wonderful!” Hilary beamed as she stared over at me. “You’re not crazy. You’re perfect.”
“Can I get that in writing?” I asked, laughing softly.
“Sure but you might have to help me spell wonderful.”
Amber and I both laughed. I bumped my elbow against Hilary’s and winked. “I think we’re off to a great start here. What do you think?”
“I think you should marry my uncle. He’s very nice and very tall and very handsome and very staring at your....”
“Hilary!”
My eyes widened and I thought I might have to smack Amber’s back to get her to quit coughing and choking on her own laughs. “Excuse me, but I think we already went over the ‘I’m not getting....”
“I heard you just fine,” Hilary said, smiling wide. “That’s how I know you can marry him, ‘cause you aren’t married now. You’re free for the pickin’. He would like you. I know it.” She glanced behind me and winked.
I couldn’t help but follow her gaze. Nothing was there. “You wouldn’t happen to have an imaginary friend standing behind me, would you?”
“Nope. He’s real.” She smiled so wide that I thought I might be able to see right through her dimples and out the other side of her head. “I think he likes your hellos and I think he likes your butt, too.”
“Hilary!” Amber said, laughing under her breath and ultimately losing any credibility in the correction department she might have had.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think you should try to play matchmaker for your uncle or for your--” I glanced behind me again and could have sworn I sensed something there, just briefly, “imaginary friend.”
“No,” Amber said, still snickering. “She really should. The guy could use a good woman. Now, I wouldn’t wish you on him in a million years and there is no way you’d go for his personality. His looks, yeah. His personality, no.”
“Gee, now I feel compelled to ask why.”
Hilary gave me a toothless grin. “See, I knew you’d want to know more about him. All the ladies who come around do but he doesn’t let me tell them. He’ll let me tell you though.” She wiggled her hips and nodded her head. “Yep. I can tell you all about him. Did I tell you he was tall already? I think I did. He’s like daddy. He has big muscles. I think he can pick up my house but I can’t get him to try it. Maybe you can.”
“Hmm,” I mused. “I’ll have to see about that. An entire house is awfully big. How about we ask him to pick up a car instead. That would be fun to watch.”
“Want me to have him take his shirt off? Ladies seem to like it when he does it. They all make funny noises. Well, all except Amber,” she said, with nothing short of a serious look on her face. Her need to see me happy was suddenly opening a whole new world of hunkiness to me. I seriously considered taking her up on her offer, but held back.
That wasn’t wrong, was it?
My gaze went to Amber who was actually holding her lips together to keep from laughing. “Can I ask where you got the idea to try to marry your uncle off?”
“I dunno.” Hilary gave an awe shucks look. “I saw you dancing with Amber and it just popped into my head. I think you’re his match.”
“His match?” This, I had to hear more of. “What? We look alike?”
“No, silly. You know--a match. Someone you were made for. Umm ... err, mate. That’s what it’s called.”
As Amber giggled, I narrowed my gaze on Hilary and thought hard about what she was saying. It was almost too much to believe that a little girl could come up with that on her own.
“You should really think about marrying him. He’s really nice and he used to be very fun to play with.”
Used to be? I held my question in.
“Amber, get the mini-you and do something with it. It’s scaring me.”
“Oh, that little girl is almost a carbon copy of you personality-wise, Sweets.”
“Stop calling me that. I hate it.”
“I know. But it’s so cute. I give you a piece of candy and you sleep for a day. Your mom must have loved that. Anyone else ends up with a hyper kid. She got a tired one.” She waved at me and I thought about zapping her in the butt with power. I held back. “Karri, you’re lucky that I luv ya like a sister. I have a billion other things I could call you in place of Sweets.”
“Great, since you know me so well, explain to Hilary that I don’t date nice men much.”
“Why don’t you date nice men?” Hilary asked.
I winced. “Can we change the topic?”
“Want to tell me if I’ll start bleeding and never stop?” she asked.
I gulped. “I do date nice men, sometimes. I just lose interest in them rather quickly.”
“I see you chose the easy way out,” Amber said, putting her hand on her hip and winking at me. “Coward.”
“Yeah, please remember that before I arrived she thought ‘the girls’ were called ‘hellos’ and ‘chunga-chungas.”
“You can call them the girls, too?” Hilary beamed.
Groaning, I rolled over in the grass and began to bang my forehead against the ground lightly. “Example-A as to why I do not and am never going to have children. I’ve scarred her for life and she’s not even mine.”
“Uh-huh.”
Taking a deep breath in, I prepared to hear the answer to a question I couldn’t help but ask. “Okay, uh-huh what?”
“Uh-huh, you will have kids because I want a cousin. No. I want lots of cousins and I’m planning on marrying you off to my uncle so I get some.”
I ignored the last comment. “Ohmygods, was I this persistent when I was her age?” When I thought hard about it and got a yes, I wanted to bang my head even harder. “Crap, now I feel like I need to write out apology letters to anyone who had to deal with me.”
Hilary giggled and got her feet. I followed suit, noticing the feeling of being watched again. I wasn’t sure it had ever really gone away.
“Look what I can do,” Hilary said. She instantly did a summersault, popped up fast and immediately examined the dress she had on carefully, even going as far as smoothing the little yellow dress she wore beneath it.
“Very good. You know what you’re doing, don’t you?” I went and stood next to Amber.
The smile that spread over Hilary’s face was adorable.
“Hilary, Sweets can do that too,” Amber offered, giving me a smug look.
“Real
ly?” She looked me up and down. “My mommy could do them too before she died.”
Died? I glanced at Amber. She nodded and my heart broke for Hilary. “Did she teach you?”
“Yep, want to see?” She didn’t wait for my answer. Instead she took off running and did a round off backhandspring. She went high into the air after her ending, telling me she’d built up a good deal of speed. Amber and I clapped wildly for her as she finished.
“Did I do good?” she asked, running up to me.
“You rocked.”
“I did?” she asked, with a shocked expression on her face. “Rocking is good, right?”
“You bettcha.” Bending down to her level, I grinned. “I think you did so good that you might be able to add one more backhandspring to that. You still had a lot of momentum when you finished.”
“Momentum?”
“You went real fast and real high.” It was moments like this that made it clear why I had no children of my own. Speaking to them seemed to be a flip of coin, one moment I got it right, the next I was fucked, or rather, they were staring at me with confused looks on their faces. Yep, they were foreign little beings to me. That much was for sure.
“Oh. Okay, show me how,” Hilary said, glancing behind me at something and smiling wide. She winked, and I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or the nothingness behind me.
Biting my lip, I glanced at Amber. “Do I get to play too or am I going to embarrass you more? I have a pink straightjacket around here somewhere. You could make me wear it and tie me out on a dog lead if it will make you feel better.”
Amber snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “Like you have ever cared if you embarrassed me or not. I can’t believe you still have the straightjacket. I’m ashamed to admit it but I like it--even though it was pink.”
As I adjusted the wedding dress, I gasped. Looking down, I saw how loose the portion over my breasts was. “Hello, I think the girls are shrinking.”
“Huh?”
Leaning to the side, I wiggled the front of the dress, showing her exactly how loose it was. She covered her mouth as a squeal came out. I growled. “Show a little support here, it’s clear I need it.” I cupped my breast and realized Hilary was staring at me with wide eyes. “Don’t be in a hurry to grow up, kiddo. Suddenly, things matter that shouldn’t.”
She nodded. “Like ‘the girls.’ I know. Being a woman is hard work. Men have no idea.”
I was too shocked to laugh. Amber did it for me.
Something tugged on the back of the wedding dress lightly. As I heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper, the front portion of the dress tightened, conforming to my breasts perfectly. I glanced at Amber who had a rather wide, pleased expression on her face.
“Thanks, I didn’t think of that. See! I need you for the details, Amber. I’m always leaving those out. I have horrible visions of tripping on the girls when I’m eighty. Couple that with my newfound fear of deflating and I’m going to need that jacket really soon.” I took a deep breath and cupped my chunga-chungas once more. “You’d tell me if my butt took a trip south, wouldn’t you? That’s it. First thing I’m doing after I’m done unpacking the kitchen is going running with a tight sports bra on of course.”
“Umm, Sweets ... err ... I didn’t zip ....”
Tipping my head, I wrinkled my nose. “It’s okay to tell me that without you I’d either forget my own head or walk into yet another doorway. I swear that I only shut off mentally when I’m not working.” As I stared at her it hit me what we were doing. “You do realize that we’re traipsing around in designer wedding apparel.”
She nodded nervously and turned slightly red. “Maybe we should take them off. People might see us.”
“Pfft, you lived with me for how many years? Did you miss the days I went to the market for us? Remember when I wore that black bikini with the sheer mesh dress over it because that lovely lady there told me I couldn’t come in that one time because I had on shorts and a bathing suit top?”
Amber burst out in laugher. “I liked the day she tried to tell you that you couldn’t wear the mesh thing either. You made me check to be sure that no one was looking and untied the bikini top. The second that thing fell to the floor, old Mr. Parthron dropped his milk and clutched his chest. You felt bad for weeks because he ended up having to be rushed to the hospital.”
I covered my eyes and chuckled. “I did visit him everyday but I don’t think he knew.”
“How could he not know?”
I glanced down at my chest. “He wasn’t looking at my face. He was staring at my hellos.”
Amber’s jaw dropped. “He was like ninety!”
“You and I knew that. He didn’t seem to care. Besides, I know men who are five hundred years plus and they still look. They look a lot. Immortals are the horniest....” I covered my own mouth to stop the rest of that from coming out.
Amber shifted awkwardly. “We should stop we ... umm ... might ruin the dresses.”
I narrowed my eyes on her. “Amber, you hated Jean-Paul. You’re the one who sent him the cake topper with the groom’s head missing and a tiny toothpick glued to where his heart would be. Nice vampire joke by the way. Didn’t you?”
“Yes, I sent it. I didn’t hate him. I just thought he was too pushy when it came to you. Most of the time he seemed all romantic and perfect for you but the way he watched you.” She shivered. “It wasn’t right. It was like he was ready and willing to eliminate anything that dared to step between him and you. I thought he seemed dangerous.”
“He was and still is.”
“Tell me he’s not still in your life.” She put her hand up. “Not that I think he’d really ever hurt you or that he’s not one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever laid eyes on, even if he does have black hair.”
I let out a soft laugh. “I’d lie to you but he’ll be here a lot, so I think you’ll catch on.”
She grabbed my arm. “Do you love him?”
I tried to answer but found myself laughing too hard to do much of anything.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
I snickered. “Good guess. But I should point out that I now consider him a friend. Granted, he seems to always have an ulterior motive but in the end he does the right thing.”
“You spent years trying to keep him at arm’s length. You kept insisting that he was a business associate yet the man did his best to try to lavish you with expensive gifts and French charm.”
“Hmm, he still does that too.”
“Yeah, well does he still come across like he’s the leader of some deadly band of thugs? The men that would show up at our house with him to see you were huge, sexy and looked like they could rip the heads off anyone who got on their nerves. As if that wasn’t weird enough, Jean-Paul did think he owned you.”
Shaking my head, I sighed. “Amber, after you left I went to work for him. Well, not for him--but it’s complicated. I’m my own boss now, but he’s still in my life because he’s not quite the man we thought he was.”
“What? He’s gotten even more suave?” She rolled her eyes, stood tall, cleared her throat and did her best to impersonate Jean-Paul’s mannerisms. Putting her hand out, she touched my check. “Ma chéri, why can you not see what is right before your face? You wait for a man who does not care to come. A man who is not man enough to claim what is rightfully his. Any man who leaves you to never return is no man for you. He is no man at all. Allow me to love you as you were meant to be loved.”
I instantly burst out into laughter. “He’s not that bad anymore. But that was a dead-on impersonation.”
“Not that bad? Has he stopped filling your car with so many roses you can’t open the door without having an avalanche?” She rolled her eyes in disgust. “Or are you coming home with only one black eye now?”
That stopped my laughter. “Jean-Paul has never hurt me. He’s saved my life more times than I can count. I told you what I do for a living. Coming home a little battered and bruised is an occu
pational hazard. Now, lighten this conversation so we can all go back to having fun.”
Hilary pulled on the bottom of my dress. “What do you do for a living?”
“I, umm, it’s hard to explain, sweetheart.”
“Is it important and dangerous?”
Of course it was dangerous. I killed demons and bad things for a living. I was one of the men and woman who protected mankind from the evils that sprang forth from hell on a fairly regular basis. Without people like us, demons would roam free, take over the earth and slaughter everyone in its path. Somehow, important and dangerous didn’t seem to really cut it but I wasn’t about to stop and point that out to her. “You could say that.”
“But you get pretty dresses to do it in.”
Amber rolled her eyes and pointed at my dress. “When Jean-Paul showed up on the front lawn with all of this, dressed in a tux with an orchestra and a justice of the peace I knew he’d lost his mind. I thought the claiming to be a vampire was bad enough.”
Hilary tugged on my dress. “You had a vampire show up with a wedding?”
“No, she had an as....” I slammed my hand over Amber’s mouth and smiled down at Hilary.
“Yep, I had a guy show up with a wedding. I never really thought about it like that but that’s exactly what he did.”
“What did you do?” she asked, her eyes the size of half-dollars.
Amber bit my hand and I let go fast. “She kicked him in the head and threatened to stick the justice of peace up his....”
I glared at her.
“Up his jacket sleeve. Yes, sleeve,” she added, keeping it as kid friendly as possible.
Hilary moved in closer to me. “Did you really kick him in the head?”
“See, there was this ... umm ... bee, yes a bee by him and I thought I’d help him out and keep him from getting stung. His head accidentally got in the way of my foot.”
“Oh,” she said nodding. “Did the bee live?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
I laughed. “I like the way you think, kid.”
Wicked Lucidity Page 3
