Im starting not to think so.
Why?
Because a wise woman told me that you dont have the right to bellyache afterward if youve been wronged by a misconception youve created yourself.
Something in her eyes flared. You cant complain, but maybe you can walk away from the misconception. Thats what I want to do. Somehow their fingers had entwined. It felt good, she thought. It anchored her for one of the biggest decisions of her life. Im going to go somewhere where no one knows me and Im just going to be Elise. She let her air out. She was breathing fine now.
Theyll follow you, he warned. The mom, the dad, the brothers and the nanny.
The nanny retired thirteen years ago.
I speak from experience. Theyll hire people to look for you. Everywhere you go, youll have to look over your shoulder to see if theyre behind you.
She frowned. Then Ill tell them first. Ill tell them to leave me alone.
They wont.
Is that how it was for you?
Max hesitated, then he nodded. Shed given him a lot of herself. He felt an overriding need to give some back. I wasnt just a carpenter.
I guessed that.
He nodded. My houses really gotout of hand. But I kept working at making them bigger and better anyway so everyone just assumed I loved what I was doing. What I really wanted was to be back in Pittsburgh just wielding a hammer.
Do you ever have trouble breathing? she asked suddenly.
The question hit him like a punch. He didnt answer.
You did. Do, she said, reading his face. Like the whole world is pushing down on your chest. She came onto her knees and grabbed both his hands in hers. Joe, lets run away together. Lets go someplace where we can both breathe.
It scared the hell out of him that he wanted to. It scared him more to find himself thinking it could work. His empire was running without him. What was another few weeks? By then someone would find them, one of them, and shatter the idyllic escape. But for a while longer he could keep being Joe and she wouldnt have to be a heel-kicking princess. Theyd make love and drink up the sun, follow the dying summer as far as they could go.
It was insane. And it was perfect. As long as he was with her, he was just Joe. And Joe was a happy man.
No questions about the past, she said urgently. No promises for the future. Oh, she wanted this, she realized. She wanted it desperately. If they could get on the Sea Change and just keep sailing to the horizon, she could touch him any time she wanted to without the world spinning. She couldnt take him back to the States with her and anchor him in the Potomac. But there was no earthly reason why she couldnt drop out right along with him.
Youre out of your mind. His voice was hoarse.
He was thinking about it. I know.
No husband? Thats not the reason you lied about your name? There wont be an armed man waiting for me at any port?
Im Princess Elise.
That guy called you something else.
Elise is a perfectly legal alias, she assured him. Its my middle name.
Youre actually talking me into this.
Im good at that.
Suddenly he tugged at her hands hard until she spilled into his lap. His skin was warm from the sun. Honey twisted around until she could loop her arms around his neck and lock her legs around his waist. She pressed herself to him to lick at his earlobe.
How am I supposed to think when you do things like this? he demanded.
Maybe I dont want you to think. Maybe I want you to go with instinct.
Dropping out works best when youve laid a solid plan ahead of time.
She reared back, grinning. Were dropping out, then? Were really going to do it?
Youve got to let them know that youre going. I dont want a rich thoroughbred-breeding daddy hunting me down with a shotgun either.
Hes more into Uzis. She laughed at his expression. Just kidding.
Tell them upfront. And you get one suitcase, rich girl. We travel light.
She frowned. One? Oh, well. A woman does what a womans got to do.
And think about it. Think long and hard and be sure.
That, she thought, wouldnt be necessary, but she nodded to placate him.
Then meet me at the beach at midnight. If you dont show up, Ill know you changed your mind and well never mention this lunacy again.
No questions, no promises, no explanations. Ill be there, she said quietly. She felt the shiver deep inside her at all the possibilities. It would be the most outrageous thing she had done yet, and it would be the first thing shed ever really done for herself.
Then he caught the strap of her bathing suit in his teeth and need crested inside her without warning, hot and gushing.
Am I going to get any more surprises if I peel this suit off you? he asked.
Her voice shuddered. Not a one.
It wasnt just anticipation building inside him now, he realized. Even as his blood rushed faster, it felt thicker. It pooled and gathered, built and demanded.
Princess stories aside, he didnt know who she was or where she had come from. He didnt know why shed given her virginity to him. All he knew was that when she was around, he couldnt seem to think of pressures or guilt or responsibilities. When she was around, his mind had to jog to keep up, and shed taught him how to breathe again.
He needed her, he realized. Maybe that was why he was so willing to do the incredible and sail off into the moonlight with her. Because he hadnt needed anything in a very long time.
He caught her mouth with his and fell into her again, into everything that was her. If there was a nagging uncertainty down deep at the core of him, then it left him when she threw herself into the kiss, all heat and eagerness and unabashed delight. Her hands flew over his skin, greedy. Before he could push down the straps of her suit, she was already peeling them away, clinging to him, her breasts pressed against his chest. She tore her mouth away from his and her head fell back, begging his tongue to trail over her throat.
When his mouth found her neck, she shivered again. It trembled through her, long and lingering. This was so right, she thought. Everything she had been chasing had been wrong, but thisthe way he tasted and the way he touchedwas perfect. Everything in my life has been leading up to this moment.
Honey shifted her weight and pushed up on her knees, intent upon tumbling him backward onto the ground. This time, she thought, it was her turn. Her time to do things she had only dreamed of before. She felt free, alive.
And thenno, again someone called her name.
She jerked in Joes hands as every good thing inside her fractured in disbelief. She scrambled off him and remembered to plaster the top of her bathing suit to her chest with both hands before she whipped around to look wildly in the direction of the beach. It was Marcus this time. She was still trembling as he approached, but now it was with pure fury.
His face was changing color as his gaze shifted from her to Joe then back to her again. He was pale with anger, then ruddy with embarrassment. Youre out of control,
he said finally, almost wonderingly. Youve really reached the outer limits this time, Honey.
Things were pumping inside her. Why?
For Gods sake, I saw what you were just doing!
She clapped a hand over her mouth exaggeratedly. You saw?
Its broad frigging daylight! he roared.
Im appalled. You witnessed something no other single and unattached human being has ever done in the history of the world.
Marcuss eyes narrowed. Dont twist this.
Is that what Im doing? She marched up to him and smacked her palm against his chest. Were you a virgin before the I-dos yesterday, Marcus?
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
So weve got rules for you and a separate sheet of them for me? Why? Why?
Youre a girl!
Well, heres a news flash, pal. I reached my majority two years ago. I own my own trust fund. And I dont need you or anyone else tailing me to hold me to lines of etiquette designed just for me!
He opened his mouth and closed it again. I came looking for you to apologize.
It almost melted her. Almost. But she knew himand her familytoo well. Why else?
Dad thought you were going to join him for lunch. You told him you would.
I changed my mind. Does your apology mean youre going to stop telling everyone to shut me out of whatevers going on at the house?
Damn it, Honey, I cant do that.
She smiled. She felt it pull at the corners of her mouth. She didnt care anymore, she realized, because at midnight she would be on a sailboat gliding away from it all.
I cant do this anymore, she said softly. And then she stepped around him and headed back for the shore.
Marcus didnt like her tone. Something in it unsettled him. Do what? Overreact and raise hairs? Kick ass in the face of Evans perfectionism? What?
Then he remembered the guy on the beach, mostly because the guy was trying to avoid him. Marcus felt his movement behind him. He turned to see the man stepping back toward the beach, and fresh anger scoured through him.
Shes not the way she comes off. He heard his own voice crack out like a bullet.
The man stopped and stared at him. Glad to know youve realized that.
Marcus stared at him in disbelief. Me? You dont get it, do you? Youre a plan for her, buddy. A means to an end. She doesnt do these things because theyre what she wants. She does them because they get her what she thinks she needs.
The guys expression was suddenly odd, Marcus thought, but that wasnt his problem. He had to catch up with his sister. He didnt know what had gotten into her just lately, but she was starting to scare him.
He left the man and walked away.
Eleven
T he closer she got to the house, the calmer Honey felt. Whatever rage shed felt at Marcus, whatever passion shed felt in Joes arms, vaporized a little more with each breath she took. Both blistering emotions gave way to a steady, quiet litany in her head. No more. No more. No more.
She had created this mess of her life. And she could change it. Senhora! You are back! Rafaela said when Honey stepped into the kitchen. I fix something for you to eat. You miss breakfast, you miss lunch.
No thanks. She cut for the bell room door just as her father came in from the big room.
Where in tarnation have you been? he demanded as soon as he saw her.
It was his drill sergeants voice. Honey was reasonably sure he had never been a drill sergeant, but he could have been. She stopped and turned back slowly. Out.
He stared at her. Her voice hadnt been flippant or impatient, she thought, just tired. And it brooked no argument. Maybe that was what quelled him. I should have thought of this recourse a long time ago, she realized, instead of killing myself with horses and PETA protestors.
Her father finally recovered. Your mother and I think it would be best if you flew back with us in the morning, he said finally. And if you came home to Conover Pointe for a while.
Honey frowned. What was this about? I live at the townhouse and I have a job. That she wouldnt be going back to, she thought.
I could arrange a leave of absence for you
No! No more arranging, never again. From here on in she was doing things for herself and on her own terms.
His chest puffed up. Regardless, were concerned about your behavior.
My behavior hasnt changed since I got arrested in that bar in Miami when I was seventeen.
Thats what troubles your mother.
Ah, Honey thought, one of those conversations. When he was most disturbed with her, she suddenly became her mothers daughter, as though she had landed on earth by some sort of miraculous conception. Sort of like Marcus.
Her father stole a look at Rafaela, who was pretending not to listen and struggle with their English. You want to talk about this elsewhere, dont you? Honey realized.
He let out a relieved breath. Yes.
She moved for the big room. For one of the rare times since she had been on Brunhia, it was vacant. She went to the bar and stepped behind it, hunting around for the inevitable compact refrigerator. She came up with a can of orange soda.
Want me to help you out here? she asked, popping the top and swigging. Marcus told you I was planning to take a lover on this trip, didnt he? She had finally figured that out. A lot of this stemmed from the bombshell she had laid on the voodoo-gene group that first day.
Her fathers face went florid. Not in so many words but
And you have therefore been running interferenceor rather, enlisting my brothers to run interferencesince the first moment you set foot on this island, Honey interrupted.
Youre my daughter.
That touched her, made her feel a little soft inside. I shouldnt have opened my big mouth.
Ive been telling you that for years. He almost smiled.
Touch.
Your mother is concerned about your self-destructive behavior.
Its not self-destructive. Its self-preservation. She stepped around the bar and kissed him on the cheek. Relax, Daddy. Ive never harmed a soul, not even myself. And Im not ready to go home just yet. Well, she thought, that was certainly a mouthful. She left him and went back through the kitchen to the stairs.
She knew the hours until midnight would be interminable. She figured shed put them to good use by having dinner with everyonesomething shed avoided all week. It would be a nice bon voyage, even if she was the only one who recognized it as such.
She figured she would leave her family a letter explaining what she was doing and why, and threatening dire consequences if they came looking for her. But she also wanted to write a special one to Carey. She hated to leave on the tension that had been between them this morning.
She reached the bell room and set about the chore of packing only one suitcase. She decided to divide ev
erything shed brought with her into halves; she was going to have to leave Marcus with one bag to deal with, and she would take the other with her. Unfortunately, the pile she wanted to take was far larger than what she wanted to leave behind.
Whats he going to do, throw me overboard if I show up with two? No, she thought, but hed probably throw one of her bags overboard. She found herself standing in the middle of the room grinning at that. Maybe that was why she loved him. He didnt fawn over her and he cut her no slack. He wasnt impressed with her shenanigans but neither did he seem to want a prima donna. He
She heard her own thoughts.
Ah, Jeez-Louise. Honey clapped her hands to her cheeks and sat down hard on the cot. I dont love him. I cant love him. Sooner or later, Ive got a life to get back to. Then again, did she? Suddenly she found herself wondering how long her trust fund would hold out so she didnt have to work.
I dont love him, she whispered again. She couldnt love someone she could never take back to Washington and the world shed created there. But she could love him forever if they just kept sailing.
Totally unreasonable, she said aloud.
Why?
She launched herself off the bed again to tackle the contents of the suitcases. If Joe heaved one overboard, he would select it at random. Therefore, the smart thing to do was to put the almost-non-essentials into one and the I-cant-live-without-these-things into the other. If he grabbed for the latter, shed just have to tackle him first. And it was entirely possible that he might just succumb to her persuasiveness and let her take two.
She put the Kogi sandals into the almost-non-essential bag. She just wanted them in case they made port in the Greek isles or something.
That brought her up short on the idea of money. Honey stopped in mid-motion and shoved a finger through her curls to scratch her head. He had none, and she had much. So shed need her credit cards and her checkbook to pay off any expenses they ran up in their travels. She thought about how he had acted in Portimao about buying her lunch and stuffed her billfold and checkbook into the most-essential bag. Shed just have to be clever so he didnt realize she was paying for things until it was a fait accompli.
Family Secrets: Books 5-8 Page 62
