I cant. Theres so much to be done, and II cant leave the clinic.
The patients are all on the mend. He gave her a smile. A couple of them are wondering why they cant go home right now.
Faith shook her head. They cant leave. Not yet. Not until
I know, he said. I told them all theyd have to stay put for a few more days. He gave her a smile meant to comfort. Even Tyler is asking when he can go home. Just a few days ago, Luke had been so sure the young deputy wouldnt make it. Now the kid was grumbling about getting out of here.
Faith nodded but said nothing.
The patients are fine, the doctors who traveled here with you have been working in shifts, and the nurses have finally caught up on their sleep. He tugged on her hand and she stood. Your turn.
She didnt let go of his hand, but held on tight. Luke. The way she whispered his name reminded him of last night. Gentle, tentativesexy. Theres so much I want to tell you, but I cant.
Was she talking about the virus? He didnt think so. Maybe she wanted to confess something more personal but couldnt find the strength. Why did he want her to trust him with her secrets? He could tell himself again and again that this relationship was about sex and nothing else, but the truth of the matter was, he wanted more. Much more.
You can tell me anything.
She shook her head. No, I cant.
He wrapped his arms around her and she immediately rested her head on his shoulder and folded against him easily, as if they stood this way every day.
Are you sorry about what happened last night? he asked.
No, she answered quickly.
Luke smiled. Good. If I take you home tonight, are you going to invite me in again?
II dont
He tipped her head back and kissed her, mid-stammer. If she was surprised, he couldnt tell it by her response. She accepted the kiss, relaxed, wrapped her arms around his waist.
He liked the way he and Faith fit when they kissed, as if every part of them was made to come together in this way. He remembered the way theyd fit together in bed, so naturally. So comfortably. Her naked body and his coming together as if theyd been lovers for years, as if they knew every nuance, every unspoken desire. As if the comfort they offered each other went well beyond physical need.
But the physical need alone was powerful, much more powerful than hed expected it would be. Heaven help him, he wanted to take Faith here and now. On the desk, on the cot in the next room. Maybe both. He wanted to make her scream again.
Last night was great, but it wasnt enough, he said as he took his mouth from hers. Ive thought about you all day. I cant get you out of my head.
I know what you mean, Faith said breathlessly. Ive thought about you, too.
Have you now, he whispered just before he kissed her again.
The kiss was great, for a moment, and then Faith stiffened slightly and took her mouth from his. Luke, she said breathlessly. This is notwe really shouldnt She sighed and looked him in the eye. I thought last night would be
He laid his lips on her forehead. I have a feeling youre not at a loss for words very often.
Never, she said softly.
So relax and tell me whats on your mind.
She took a deep breath. You surprised me.
Lukes eyebrows lifted slightly. I surprised you?
Shed given him the surprise of his life, well into the morning.
I didnt expect to come here and findyou, she said, sounding almost bewildered. And then last night, I assumed one night would be it. Wed give in and get this thing out of our systems, and then we could move on as if nothing had happened, but
But what?
Youre definitely not out of my system.
It was a confession made grudgingly, he could tell. If it makes you feel any better, I didnt expect you, either. And you are most definitely not out of my system. Maybe we should just quit trying to figure out what happened and enjoy it.
He slipped a hand up her leg, brushed his thumb against the apex of her thighs so that she gasped. She didnt move away from his touch, though. She didnt tell him to stop.
She laid her mouth on his throat, kissed and suckled there while he touched her. He reached inside her lab coat and cupped her breast. Her nipple hardened beneath the thin sweater she wore under the coat, and her hands began to move. Her fingers grasped, her mouth worked against his neck.
Here. Now. All he had to do was move a few things aside and he could be inside her. But when he lifted Faith in his hands, propped her up on the desk and spread her thighs, she tensed.
What are you doing?
What does it look like?
She blushed. I got carried away, she admitted. But we cant do this here, Luke. Someone might hear us. Someone might walk in right in the middle ofright in the middle.
I can lock the door.
She seemed to ponder the proposition for a moment, and if he wasnt mistaken she considered the offer seriously. Finally she shook her head. Not here.
Not feeling adventurous tonight, Luke said, setting Faith on her feet and wrapping his arms around her.
She laughed. In case you havent already figured it out, Im never adventurous.
He lifted his eyebrows. Faith looked completely serious. Last night he began.
Last night was an aberration.
An aberration.
Imnot myself these days. She leaned against him.
So, no wild sex on my desk. I guess I can live with that for now, Luke teased as he stroked Faiths back. But if I take you back to the motel, are you going to ask me in?
Faith hesitated, but her body remained relaxed against his. Finally she whispered, Yes.
Sleep called Faith, but she didnt want to go. If she slept, she wouldnt be able to feel Lukes bare skin against hers. She wouldnt be able to sigh against his chest and feather small kisses there, feel his fingers in her hair, listen to the way his heart pounded as hers did.
Tonight they hadnt been able to get undressed fast enough. What had started in his office had ended right here. And none too soon. Even now she could feel her heart pounding too hard. Her entire body trembled, and she could still feel the way Luke had come into her.
She wasnt ready to let the memory of those sensations go, so she didnt want to fall asleep just yet. Besides, there would be dreams. She knew there would be nightmares of the past when she closed her eyes. Tonight, in addition to the visitation from the children Jake and Mark had been and the sister she barely remembered, she might dream of a brother she had never known, of another brother who had been lost to them. No, taken from them.
Much as she wanted to remain lost in this haze she and Luke had made, there were other things on her mind. She wanted to ask Luke about his late wife. She wanted to know, but the right words never came together. She played the possibilities through her mind a hundred times, searching for a way to ask without sounding either jealous or rudely nosy. How could she ask him if he was still in love with a dead woman?
/> No, any talk about her future or his past would ruin the moment. This was better, at least for now. She wanted to enjoy the fantasy while it lasted. Reality would intrude soon enough.
Reality intruded much sooner than shed expected.
Stay, Luke whispered.
Faith raised her head slightly. What?
He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. When this is over, Id like you to stay in Rockland. With me, he added, as if she didnt understand. A week, a month He grinned. A year. I want you here with me when were not fighting for our lives every day, when were not surrounded by soldiers and reporters. Stay, he said again.
Her heart fluttered. It didnt make any sense, but what Luke asked for was what she wanted, too. Night after night together. Long walks. Fishing. Dancing. Time. Unfortunately, they didnt have time. And she couldnt tell him why.
I cant, she whispered.
Lukes smile faded. Why not?
She wanted to tell him everything, and if she could confide in anyone in this world, it would be Luke.
But Jake had warned her, more than once, to keep this new knowledge to herself. No one could know the truth. Anyone who was brought into this fantastic intrigue would be in danger, just as she was.
The danger to Luke and his child alone was enough to stop her, but that wasnt the only reason she didnt want to confide in him. How would Luke look at her if he knew what she was? The possibility that he might see her as a mutation, as less than a woman, stopped her from confessing all as surely as Jakes warning did. I justcant.
Luke appeared to be hurt by her refusal, and she couldnt blame him. It had taken a lot of guts for him to ask her to stay; she could never be so brave.
She touched his face, his beautiful, stubbly, masculine face. But maybe one day I can come back.
He smiled, but not quite as brightly as before. Id like that.
So would I. She settled down with him again and drifted off to sleep, not as afraid as she had been of what her dreams would bring.
Again she woke late. And alone. Blast Lukes hide! How could he do this to her?
Shed dreamed once more of water and fire, and she could see Marks face clearly now, as she had once known him. His face was so soul-deep familiar to her, she couldnt even try to remember him without tears coming to her eyes. He was called Marcus now, she had to remind herself, and he wanted to see her.
She wasnt sure if she wanted to see Marcus or not. Not him or Jake or Gretchen. Everything was going to change when these people came into her life, and she wasnt ready. Would she ever be?
Faith showered and dressed quickly, turning her mind from the changes to come to this mornings aggravation. Perhaps Luke thought it was all right to slip out without a word. To leave her to wake, expecting to find him there only to be disappointed. Well, they would have to have a talk about that!
She relaxed a little. Maybe Luke really did think it was all right to leave quietly while she slept. Maybe he thought he was being considerate. She would tell him differently, and then he would know that she wanted the opportunity to tell him goodbye and to kiss him one last time, when he left her.
She knew they werent finished. Though there was no possibility of permanence with Lukefor her there was no chance of permanence with anyoneshe knew he had not spent his last night in her bed.
Faith reached for her watch on the bedside table, and the five foil-wrapped condoms there caught her eye. Five? There should be six, right? She peered around the table and under the bed. Luke had probably knocked one to the floor last night, or when hed left her early this morning.
She didnt have time to look right now.
Again Private Mimms was waiting for her. He greeted her with a wide, boyish smile. Good morning, Dr. Martin.
Good morning. It was indeed a beautiful day, bright and clear and cold. Only good things should be allowed to happen on a day like this one. Did Dr. Winston send you here to keep an eye on me again?
Yes, maam, Mimms said. He also said theres talk of snow and he didnt want you to have to walk or drive in it.
Faith tipped her face up and studied the clear blue sky. Doesnt look much like snow to me.
Not to me, neither, Mimms said in a lowered voice. But I didnt want to argue with Dr. Winston. He wasnt in a very good mood this morning.
He wasnt? Its been a difficult time for him, Faith explained.
Yes, maam.
Had her refusal of his invitation affected him more deeply than hed let on? She didnt have time to wonder why a man would ask her to stay, and then leave in the middle of the night. Apparently in a bad mood.
Jake was expecting her call, and she had work to do.
The crisis was almost over. She wouldnt be in Montana much longer.
Eleven
W omen had always confused him, at least a little. He suspected the fairer sex confused every man in one way or another.
But he had never experienced anything like this.
Faith arrived at the clinic, late again, with a sweet smile and an almost shy way of glancing at him. After last night she should not be shy about anything.
She had awakened him shortly after two in the morning. Bold, outrageously sexy, she had seduced him thoroughly. Not that he needed to be seduced. One look, and he was hers. All she had to do was smile or look at him sideways, and he was a complete goner. That confused him, too.
Last night in his office, Faith had insisted that she wasnt impulsive, but in the early morning hours shed been wild. Uninhibited. Definitely impulsive.
When shed finished with him, somewhere around three in the morning, shed tossed him out again. Quickly and efficiently, and with another of those soul-searing kisses that drained his brain while she all but pushed him out the door. She needed to work, shed said between kisses, and he distracted her. He had to go. She needed to be alone.
No wonder he was confused.
All day hed planned to corner Faith for a few pertinent questions. No opportunity ever arose. There were a couple of times when it seemed she wanted to talk to him, too, but they were always interrupted. The second floor of the Carson County Clinic was not exactly a secluded place these days. This discussion would need to be private. Very, very private. He didnt think he could wait until tonight, but as the day wore on it became apparent that he might have no choice in the matter.
Faith made a few phone calls, visited all the patients and then spent the balance of the day in her lab. She left the liaison work to Dr. Gant, so she had no direct contact with the two suited government officials in charge or the major who commanded the soldiers keeping the town safe and the virus contained. She seemed more comfortable in the lab studying the virus than she did with people.
There were times, moments, when she seemed perfectly comfortable with him.
Luke saw uninfected patients in the makeshift clinic down the street and then returned to monitor those who had been infected by the virus. Throughout the long day, he never got a chance to speak to Faith alone for more than a couple of minutes.
Not nearly enough time to ask he
r what the hell was going on.
It was after three in the afternoon when Molly burst into Angelas room, where Luke was examining a much improved Benjy. Its Debbie McCord, Molly said. Shes gone into labor.
Debbie was expecting her first child in two weeks. Luke had hoped the quarantine would be lifted by the time her baby came, but that wasnt going to happen. Have Stu drive her into town, he said, as he stepped into the hallway. I can get set up in the new clinic
Already Molly was shaking her head. Nope. Theyre scared to come to town, with the epidemic and the soldiers everywhere and all. Cant say that I blame them. Stu and Debbie both want the baby born there at the ranch.
Great, Luke mumbled.
Stu said the baby could come any minute and youd better get your butt out there pronto.
Babies knew nothing about timing. They didnt care about epidemics or a doctors screwed-up love life. Luke glanced toward the window at the end of the hall and saw light snow falling. Apparently they didnt care about bad weather, either. Okay. What choice did he have?
Molly followed him to his office, where Luke would quickly put together a bag of basic supplies to take with him.
Tell Dr. Martin that I have an urgent need to speak with her, but it might be morning before I get back, Luke said as he placed his medical bag on his desk and opened it wide. In spite of Stus insistence that the baby could arrive any minute, Luke had a feeling hed be at the McCord ranch for a while.
His nurse smiled as she said, Ill deliver the message. Urgent, huh?
Whats the silly grin for?
Molly perched on the side of his desk and struck a casual pose. Im not blind, Luke, and neither is anyone else. I think its great, myself. One of her associates might not agree. Dr. Helm, the tall, friendly one with the blond hair. Hes not too happy about the situation. I think he might have had romantically inclined plans himself, but apparently he was too slow in making his move. Dr. Gant and Dr. White are both okay with it. Apparently Dr. Martin is usually all work and no play, and the guys are happy to see her playing a little bit.
Family Secrets: Books 5-8 Page 84
