by John Norman
“I wonder if you think yourself a free woman,” he said.
“No, Master,” I said.
“We shall see,” he said.
“Master?” I said.
“I shall now release the catch on your cage, little vulo,” he said, “and you may fly.”
“Master?” I said.
“Aiii!” I cried.
“Fly away,” he said.
“Ai!” I cried, again, and again, and he could scarcely, with all his strength, hold me.
He stood up then, and I lay at his feet. Surely I had been the choiceless vessel of his pleasure, and he was now done with me. But surely he must know, too, even if it is of no interest to him, that the slave, too, feels, trembles, cries out, and endures the thousand raptures consequent on her condition and collar. To be sure, he had been kind, and patient, with me, if only as a matter of curiosity. In a thousand ways we may be put to use, and sometimes with little more meaning than a casual cuffing. Our feelings are nothing. We are done with as the masters please. We are slaves.
“Please, stay with me, but a moment, Master!” I begged, reaching out to him. I wanted to be held, to be kissed, to be sheltered, to be warmed by his presence, to be spoken to.
I saw the light of the taper disappear down the aisle.
I could not believe what had been done to me, what I had felt, how I was changed, my responsiveness.
“Master!” I called after him.
He was gone.
I remained behind, as I must, on the mat, a ravished slave.
No more dared I think of myself as a free woman, if I had ever done so. I knew how I had yielded. It was a slave yielding. There was no doubt in my mind now, if there ever had been. I now knew myself a slave. I was that, only that.
There had been nothing of the free woman in that yielding. It was the yielding of worthless, meaningless slave, spasmodic and helpless, in the arms of a master.
I was angry, and miserable.
I had been abandoned, as a slave may be abandoned.
I must escape, I thought.
Never again could I be a free woman. I knew that. But I was determined to flee, not as a free woman might flee, but as a flighted slave might flee, the slave I knew myself to be. I would always be a slave, but I could, at least, be an escaped slave!
Slaves came and went in the slave house. They were brought in, and taken out. I supposed the stock was to be freshened, from time to time. Sooner or later, I would be again outside, in the camp. I would then again be assigned familiar tasks. What if I might dig roots, or venture out, to gather fire wood? It would be easy to slip between the wands and hurry away, into the forest. One could do this in the morning, before the larls are released. Commonly they are released, or most of them, at night.
I would escape!
How I hated men!
And I knew that I was owned by them.
And mostly I hated one, he who had brought me here from my own world, he who was responsible for my collaring. He had forgotten me, the virile, gross beast, not even recognizing me when I had stood before him, within the bars of the exposition cage in Brundisium, but I had not forgotten him.
At the first opportunity I would escape.
Chapter Sixteen
I had come to Shipcamp with the wagons, and something like fifteen hundred or more men. The smaller cohorts of Pani accompanied us.
The journey took the better part of four days.
Slaves were generally tied behind the wagons.
The road was muddy, and the travel difficult.
Behind us, Tarncamp was gone. The barracks, the sheds and shops, the huts, the storerooms, the workshops, the arsenals, the bath houses, the food halls, the slave houses, the pavilions, large and small, had been burned. Blackened debris had been dragged into the forest. Gray ash had been cast about. The winds would rise, and the rains come, and the winter, with its ice and snow, and the awakening, green spring, and in two or three years the insistent, patient forest would repair and cover what men had done.
I was pleased to leave Tarncamp, and so, too, were the men. Some even sang, wading in the mud. This sometimes came to the axles of the wagons, to the bellies of the smaller tharlarion. Logs and planks bridged many holes. Their packs seemed light. They were moving. Things were changing. Few of us were woodsmen. Most of us were mercenaries, some mariners, many ne’er-do-wells, some landless men, and some fugitives. Most, I supposed, were veterans of the forces which had garrisoned Ar. Our tools were the sword and spear, not the ax, the adz, the plane, the saw. An end had apparently come to the seemingly endless round of cutting and hauling, lopping, the rough shaping, and rude trimming, to the backbreaking labor in the forest, the purpose of which was never explained to us. On the morning of the fourth day, we came to a rise from which we could see the Alexandra, like a ribbon below us, and, ahead, men cried out in wonder. I hurried forward, with hundreds, thinking to see, for the first time, a great trade fort which might control the trade of the Alexandra, but I stopped, stunned, as others, at the forest’s edge, for below, seemingly small in the distance, was what I knew must, from the distance, be the remains of an enormous framework, now empty, a long, wide dock, and, moored at the dock, what seemed a ship, a great ship, a ship like no other, less a ship than an island of wood, a floating city, carved in a ship’s likeness.
“It is the ship of Tersites!” said a man.
“There is no such thing,” said another. Surely we had all dismissed the rumors, the stories told in the taverns.
“See!” said the first man pointing. “See!”
“Move,” said a Pani officer. “Move!”
The wagons began to roll, descending, their brakes clamping, grinding, against the wheels. The traces of the tharlarion, wagon after wagon, were suddenly slack, and some of the beasts squealed, frightened.
“Careful!” called the officer.
Men began to make their way down the slope. It was slippery from the rains. “Paga!” said a man. “War!” said another. “Slaves!” called another.
I remained on the crest for a time.
Shipcamp was much smaller than Tarncamp, but it contained its scattered range of structures, a hundred or more, and these were mostly north of the dock. Only a bit later did I realize the existence of a small, palisaded enclave across the river. I did not know what was housed there. I supposed it had been intentionally separated from the main camp.
Behind me, on my left, was Asperiche. She had learned to heel, appropriately. It had been pleasant to teach her the many aspects of her collar. She was now well aware it was on her, and locked.
“Perhaps,” she said, “Master may now sell me.”
I turned about. I examined my slave, the paga girl, the slim, lovely brunette I had named Asperiche, from her island of origin, she purchased from the tavern in Brundisium. She had been insufficiently deferential twice. Masters do not accept such things. I had spared her one lashing, the first time, perhaps foolishly, but she had later, again, been displeasing, a lapse I saw no reason to accept a second time, and I had arranged that she would be better apprised of the fact that a slave is to strive to be pleasing, invariably so. She had apparently not been long in the collar. I suppose that is why she had been less than pleasing in the first place, and, in the second place, naively thought to avert her discipline. To be sure, many slaves strive to avert their discipline, even those who should know better. The lash, it seems, is unpleasant. Let them then mind their behavior. It is interesting to see them beg, so helpless and so much in your power. How assured, how confident, she had been, so sure of the effect of her beauty. Indeed, it was considerable. Perhaps I should not have spared her the lash the first time. That was possibly a mistake, encouraging her to think she might escape a second time. In any event, I had not succumbed, no more than any master might, to her tearful blandishments, her plaintive wheedling and clever wiles, her smiles, and proffered promises. When these protestations were done, duly noted, and such, I saw to it, to her misery, that she
was summarily given the lashing she deserved. After her lashing, she had not only failed to be grateful that I should be concerned that she be improved, but, incredibly, had been resentful, even to asserting that she hated me, as if that would be of interest to anyone. I was, however, annoyed, and, to her horror and dismay, purchased her. She then found herself the property of the very fellow she had been trying to disparage or disconcert. It was his collar she would then wear. Why did I purchase her? First, she was beautiful, very much so. Second, she needed to be taught her collar, a lesson she had not yet learned. And third, a man needs a slave. She would do.
“I do not understand,” I said. “Why should I sell you?”
“I am not stupid, Master,” she said.
“I have never thought so,” I said.
“She must be here,” she said.
“Who?” I asked.
“She whom you seek,” she said.
“I do not understand,” I said.
“She for whom you have come to this strange, terrible wilderness.”
“I have come for pay,” I said, “for excellent fee. I have come for adventure. I have come for curiosity.”
“You have come for a slave,” she said.
“I have a slave,” I said.
“I was with you on the dock, day after day, in Brundisium,” she said. “I saw you watch, and wait, and watch again. Only when one coffle was embarked did you take ship.”
“One enjoys seeing beautiful slaves,” I said.
“We speak to one another,” she said. “You much examined Tarncamp. You examined the sheds, the kennels, the cook houses, the slave houses, the stables, the wagon yards. You met incoming parties. You frequented the perimeters. Twice you inquired of a lot number.”
“It seems kajirae are observant,” I said.
“We are often about,” she said. “Little attention is paid to us. We may be unobtrusive, but we are often there. We listen. We talk to one another.”
“Curiosity,” I said, “is unbecoming to a kajira.”
“It seems she whom you seek was not in Tarncamp,” she said. “Thus, if she has not wandered into the forest, to be devoured by the beasts, or has not been fed to sleen, or traded south, or such, she must be here, somewhere.”
“I have no interest in slaves,” I said, “save for those natural to a fellow, their utility, as work and pleasure beasts.”
“Men kill for them,” she said.
“You are all collar sluts,” I said. “There is little to choose from; it is merely one piece of meat or another.”
“We bring different prices,” she said.
“So do verr, tarsks, and kaiila,” I said.
“Some slaves,” she said, “have entangled the hearts of Ubars in their meshes.”
“Even a Ubar,” I said, “may be a fool.”
“Some men have given a city for a slave,” she said.
“One who is mad,” I said, “may buy a paving stone with gold, barter a ship for a stick, a palace for a pebble.”
“Has Master not come north seeking a slave?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “Put such foolishness from your head.” It was not clear to me how Asperiche, whom I regarded as an extremely intelligent slave, could utter such vaunted nonsense. It was true I recalled a slave, of course, but I recalled a thousand slaves. That slave might, or might not, be about, but it made no difference to me. My curiosity in the matter was idle, at best, if it existed at all. Asperiche was wrong. It was not possible that I had come north for a slave. One does not care for a slave. They are mere brutes, conveniences, sleek and luscious, to be dealt with as was appropriate for such brutes.
“Still,” said Asperiche.
“Do you wish to be beaten?” I asked, angrily.
“No, Master,” she said, putting her head down.
“Why should I sell you?” I asked. “I could not get a copper tarsk for you, as you are.”
“Forgive me, Master,” she said.
She was covered with mud to the thighs, and her small tunic was spattered with mud. Rain had soaked her hair, and it lay about her head and shoulders, in scattered, bedraggled, unkempt strands.
I stood near one of the halted wagons, which was waiting its turn to try the slope to the valley, beside its rear left axle. Its back was open, and the gate down, and the wagon bed contained a number of packs, including mine. Some fellows were fetching theirs out, with their smaller weapons. Most of the men had not been permitted weapons while on the trail. I, on the other hand, as several others, mostly officers, had been permitted arms. I wore my waist belt, with dagger, and the shoulder belt, with the slung sheath, and gladius. Guards, mostly Pani, had policed the journey. I pulled my pack free, from under others. At the rear of the wagon bed was a number of rings with coiled ropes. It was by means of these that slaves had been tied behind the wagon. There were usually three to five behind a wagon. Most others had been fastened in neck coffles, or wrist coffles. The neck coffles were of rope, the wrist coffles of chain. Shortly after reaching this point, to avoid the danger of a slipping or an uncontrolled wagon, the girls tied behind the wagons had been freed, and herded down the slope. Long log kennels and chains would be awaiting them, and the others, just as a variety of barracks and smaller dwellings had been arranged for the men. Designated precursors had seen to such matters, days ago. I myself had been assigned a hut. I supposed this had to do with the intervention of Tyrtaios. I did not know if it would be shared or not. I was confident it would not be shared with Tyrtaios, as he apparently stood high with the Pani. Rather as I had been permitted weapons on the trail, so, too, Asperiche had not been fastened to a wagon, or coffled, like most of the other slaves, but had been permitted to stay with me. In this Tyrtaios, too, might have been involved. I did not know. This arrangement, however, was not that unprecedented with private slaves, slaves owned by individuals. I found myself wondering, not that I was interested, if a particular slave was now a private slave, or, so to speak, a public, or camp, slave, like most. Presumably she would be a public, or camp, slave, as she had been embarked as such.
I, pack in hand, looked down to the Alexandra, lovely, wide and shimmering, in the morning light, to the huge, partially dismantled framework of mighty Tur beams, to the long dock, with its many sheds, and the broad, towering vessel which was moored there, held in place by gently, strained lines, against the current, its lofty bowsprit high, lifted, like the alert head of a living thing, one waiting to be born, one already scenting the faraway sea.
“Doubtless she is here,” said Asperiche.
“Who?” I asked.
“She whom you seek,” she said.
“You are less than presentable,” I said.
“Master?” she said.
“You are filthy,” I said.
“Doubtless there are washing sheds below,” she said, “with tubs and warm water. I will be able to launder my tunic, and iron it, and care for my pelt, and be more pleasing to my master.”
She lifted her head.
“You may look into my eyes,” I said.
“Thank you, Master,” she said.
“You may speak,” I said.
“My need,” she said, “is upon me.”
“Doubtless the need of a free woman,” I said.
“I am not a free woman,” she said. “That is behind me. I can never go back. My need is a thousand times beyond that of a free woman. I am a slave. My need is slave need.”
I looked down upon her.
“A slave would be caressed,” she whispered. “A slave begs to be caressed, begs as a slave.”
“You are very beautiful,” I said.
“More beautiful than another?” she asked.
“Another?” I asked.
“She whom you seek,” she said.
“I seek no other,” I said. “That is unthinkable, absurd.”
“But, if you did?” she said.
“I would suppose,” I said, “that you are more beautiful.”
“B
ut she is different,” she said. “For you she is unlike all others. She is special to you, in a way that others are not, in a way that I am not.”
“Do not speak foolishly,” I said. “Surely you are aware of your interest, of your attractions. Have I not put you to my pleasure often enough?”
“I have been well mastered,” she said.
“So?” I said.
“As might be any slave,” she said.
“So?” I said.
“I do not think I have been owned as might be your slave of slaves, the one you would die to possess. I have not seen in your eyes the unexampled, terrifying predatory lust of the approaching larl, the keen, piercing glance of the tarn. I have not felt myself as owned, as overcome and helpless, as the tabuk doe in the jaws of the larl, the young she-verr clasped in the talons of the tarn. I have not been seized, flung down, and devastated. I have not known the decisive click of the collar lock which informs me that I have been decisively, triumphantly claimed. I have not felt the ropes on me of that master of masters, by whom I would know myself possessed as the most helpless and most desired of slaves is possessed.”
“You speak as a foolish slave,” I said.
“I fear I am not as foolish as Master might wish,” she said.
“The collar looks nice upon your neck,” I said.
“As it might look upon the neck of any slave,” she said.
“Or any woman,” I said.
“Yes,” she said, “or any woman.”
She inched closer to me. How bold she was. She had not received permission to do so.
“Doubtless you wish to display your collar,” I said.
“It is Master’s collar, and it is locked on me,” she said.
“Beware,” I said.
“Master looks upon me as a slave may be looked upon,” she said.
It is a way, of course, in which one would not look upon a free woman. That would be highly inappropriate. How terrified might be a free woman, to be so looked upon, to be looked upon as a slave. I wondered if they ever considered such things, what it would be to be so looked upon, to be looked upon as a slave. I trusted not, as they were free. And presumably they would never have that experience, unless they were stripped, and a collar, chains or shackles, was in the offing.