All too soon, the day of the Junior Quiz Challenge arrived. Pudsley had been drawn to face last year’s finalists, Swotter House. As the coach pulled into the drive, Bertie stared up at the ancient-looking school. Miss Topping, one of the teachers, was waiting to meet them at the door.
“Miss Boot, welcome!” she beamed. “And this must be your quiz team!”
“Yes,” said Miss Boot. “This is Nicholas, Donna, Eugene and … don’t do that please, Bertie.”
Bertie removed a finger that had crept up his nose. He wiped it on his jumper to show he hadn’t forgotten his manners.
“Well,” said Miss Topping brightly, “I’m sure they’re cleverer than they look. May I introduce our team? This is Giles, Miles, Tara and Harriet. They are so looking forward to beating … I mean meeting you.”
The Swotter House team shook hands solemnly. They wore spotless purple blazers and neatly knotted ties. Bertie thought they looked like they all belonged to the same family – the Frankenstein family.
At two o’clock people began to file into the hall for the start of the quiz. The two teams were seated opposite each other on the stage. The Swotter House team sat up straight. The Pudsley team fidgeted nervously. Miss Boot was in the front row next to Miss Skinner. The hall was filling up with supporters from both schools. Bertie wondered if he should make a run for it now. Know-All Nick leaned over to give his team talk.
“Remember,” he whispered. “I’m captain, so let me handle the questions.”
“Yeah, but what if you don’t know the answers?” said Bertie.
Nick rolled his eyes. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing,” he said.
Donna and Eugene exchanged worried looks. But it was too late to argue now, Miss Topping was taking her seat and the quiz was about to start. The hall lights dimmed. The audience chatter died down. Miss Topping began by explaining the rules.
“The first team to buzz may answer,” she said. “If you get it wrong, the question passes to the other team.”
Both teams nodded. The Junior Quiz Challenge began.
“What do the letters MP stand for?” said Miss Topping.
BUZZ!
“More pudding!” shouted Nick.
“No, I’ll pass it over,” said Miss Topping.
“Member of Parliament,” answered Giles.
“Correct! Who invented the telephone?”
BUZZ! Nick was first again.
“Um…” he said, going red. “Er … it was…”
“Time’s up,” said Miss Topping. “Swotter House?”
“Alexander Graham Bell,” answered Giles.
“Correct!”
CHAPTER 4
The questions went on – and on. By round three Pudsley were trailing miserably by 18 points to one. Nick had answered nineteen questions, and got eighteen of them wrong.
“What are you doing?” moaned Donna, when they stopped for a drinks break.
“We have to buzz first or we’ll lose!” said Nick.
“We are losing,” said Bertie.
“What’s the good of buzzing first if you don’t know the answer?”
complained Eugene.
“It’s not my fault!” grumbled Nick. “The questions are too hard!”
“Well, if you carry on like this they’re going to batter us,” said Bertie.
“Yes, and so will Miss Boot,” said Eugene.
They glanced over at their class teacher whose face was like thunder.
“Let me or Eugene answer for a change,” said Donna.
“What about me?” asked Bertie.
“Er, well, you too,” said Donna. “But only if you’re sure you know the answer.”
Round four got under way. It was about books.
“Who wrote The BFG?”
BUZZ!
Donna got there first. “Roald Dahl,” she answered.
“Correct!”
“Can you name the Famous Five?”
BUZZ!
The scoreboard ticked over. Three rounds later, Swotter House were not looking quite so smug. Thanks to Donna and Eugene, Pudsley had closed the gap to just three points at 34 points to 31. Bertie had still not spoken a word, except to ask if he could go to the toilet. Now everything depended on the final round. The teams leaned forward.
“Our final round is about the human body,” said Miss Topping.
Bertie suddenly sat up, paying attention. This was more like it. He’d been reading Why are Bogeys Green?, which had a lot to say about the human body.
“What is saliva?” asked Miss Topping.
BUZZ!
“A disease?” asked Giles.
“No, I’m afraid not.”
“I know!” shouted Bertie. He buzzed. “Spit!”
“Correct,” said Miss Topping. “Which part of the body has half a million sweat glands?”
BUZZ!
“YOUR FEET!” yelled Bertie.
“Correct. What do you produce more of when you’re scared?”
BUZZ!
“EARWAX!” cried Bertie.
His teammates stared at him. Surely this had to be wrong?
“Correct!” said Miss Topping. “What––”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The timer interrupted, bringing the quiz to an end. The scores were level at 34 points each. Miss Topping announced the contest would be decided by a tiebreak question.
“Whoever answers correctly is the winner,” she said, glaring at the Swotter House team.
The teams sat on the edge of their seats, their fingers poised to buzz. Miss Boot chewed her fingernails.
“What did the Romans use as toothpaste?” asked Miss Topping.
The hall fell deadly silent. Seven faces looked blank. Bertie shut his eyes, trying to remember. Toothpaste, what did the Romans use as toothpaste – hadn’t he read this somewhere? It was something to do with squirrels or hamsters or…
BUZZ!
“Was it yoghurt?” asked Harriet.
“No. Pudsley, can you answer?”
Everyone turned to Bertie. He opened his eyes.
“MOUSE BRAINS!” he cried.
“EWWW!” groaned the audience. Miss Boot sunk her head in her hands. Trust Bertie to ruin everything.
Miss Topping sighed deeply. “Correct,” she said. “Pudsley are the winners.”
A deafening cheer shook the hall. Know-All Nick was speechless. Miss Boot and Miss Skinner hugged and danced round the room. For the first time ever, Pudsley had won a quiz contest, and Bertie, of all people, had answered the winning question. He ran round the stage yelling, until he was carried off by his cheering teammates.
“Well, we did it,” said Eugene, as they finally left the hall.
“Yes,” said Bertie. “Thank goodness it’s all over.”
“Until next time,” said Miss Boot.
Bertie stared at her. “N-next time?”
“Of course,” said Miss Boot. “That was just the first round. There’s six more before you reach the final!” She thumped him hard on the back. “And we are all counting on you, Bertie!”
Copyright
STRIPES PUBLISHING
An imprint of Little Tiger Press
1 The Coda Centre, 189 Munster Road,
London SW6 6AW
Characters created by David Roberts
Text copyright © Alan MacDonald, 2011
Illustrations copyright © David Roberts, 2011
First published as an ebook by Stripes Publishing in 2012.
eISBN: 978–1–84715–406–4
The right of Alan MacDonald and David Roberts to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved.
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any forms, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with t
he terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
www.stripespublishing.co.uk
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